


Love and Darkspawn

by HQuinn



Series: Warden Arianna [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-04-07 15:48:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 51
Words: 102,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HQuinn/pseuds/HQuinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The love story of Warden Cousland and Zevran.  More happened during the attack at Highever than was discussed.  Something that haunts Ari Cousland as she fights through the blight.  Alistair fills the role of a brother in her life with Fergus missing, but it takes something more to help her move on from the past and learn to really trust again.</p><p>This story takes place starting in DA: Origins and continuing past.  I tend to just brush over the major game quests, and concentrate more on the characters as they make their way through the story. If you want to know what happened during the quests, play the games, you won't be disappointed, they are great!  It doesn't stick to Dragon Age Canon, but instead is just my Head Canon, I hope you enjoy it.</p><p>
  <b>Now with art </b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Remembering those we lost

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments and kudos. Feel free to let me know if I got something horribly wrong (like Morrigan is nice to Alistair), but otherwise please be kind, I'm still just starting to write (although I know you all will be, everyone here is awesome).  
> Feel free to boo and cheer as the story progresses, I enjoy knowing you're sad, mad, happy as it progresses, it means I'm making a connection with you.
> 
> If you want to check me out, I'm on tumblr at: http://wardenari.tumblr.com/

Darkness had fallen about an hour back.  The Dalish camp was full of fires, surrounded by the elves, and their guests, the Warden’s party.  Lanaya, the new keeper,  had explained earlier to the party that tonight would be a celebration to honor the dead.  They were remembering those lost to the recent “plague”, as well as the now fallen keeper, Zathrian.   There had been dances earlier to the gods, and now they were sharing stories of those they lost.  Sending prayers to the Creators to keep them safe in the Fade.

Zevran looked around the multiple fires, searching.  Near one, Alistair and Sten sat talking with several of the Dalish warriors, discussion battles.  Near another Leliana was listening to stories Lanaya, was sharing.    Morrigan, being her usual delightful self, had retired to her camp away from the group.  Noticeably missing, was the Female Warden.  Zevran’s eyes scanned the camp, but she was not there.  It was then that he noticed her mabari, Fiss head off from camp.   Deciding that was probably his best lead to her, he followed at a distance.  Not far off he could see her now, standing near the Halla, but towards the side, where she could be easily missed.  Fiss had come to lie down near his mistress.

As he approached, Fiss stood again and whined. The Warden sighed without turning around. “Hello Zevran.”

“My Warden. I must be losing my touch if you knew it was me.”, he replied, stopping to be sure his company was alright with her.  She was petite, smaller than him even, but tough and a hair trigger on her temper.  She’d heard Leliana once joke that it was because of her red hair.  She had changed out of her Warden uniform and into a simple dress.  He’d never seen her in one before, there was something alluring about the way she looked in it.  It was a plain cotton dress, nothing showy or curvy, not one meant to attract attention, but it made her look, well, different.  

She shrugged, “Only you or Leli could have snuck up on Fiss, but if it was her he would have run up to her – she always has a treat for him.”

He assumed from the quietness of her voice she had been crying.  He walked over to stand beside her, and he could see that her cheeks were wet, confirming his suspicion.  “My Warden, what is wrong?”

“I have a name, Zevran.  I’m beginning to think you don’t know it?” she gave him a stern look, wiping at her cheek with the back of her hand.

“Arianna,” he replied in a soft tone, reaching out to wipe the new tears from her other cheek with his thumb “Please tell me what it is that troubles you so.”

She leaned into his touch for a minute, before turning back around to look at the Halla.  “I was just remembering who I’ve lost”, she sniffled.  He continued to watch her, but said nothing, sensing there was more she needed to say.

“Before,” she sniffled while waving her hand around, “all this.  The night I was recruited into the Wardens.  My family, they were…” she gulped, fighting back a new sting of tears and looking at nothing in particular “… they were killed.  My brother’s wife, his son, and my parents. I was” another pause, as she looked to the sky. “… hurt.  And my brother, I don’t know what happened to him.  He was at Ostagar, I am not sure he survived.”

“You are a Cousland,” he whispered, to which she nodded.  Tears flowing down her cheeks again, she cried quietly for her lost family.  She couldn’t look at him.  She was supposed to be their leader, strong, stable.  She shouldn’t be seen crying.  Zevran however didn’t seem to care.  He pulled her into his arms, and placed a hand on the back of her head, allowing her to cry into his chest.  Arianna leaned into him, feeling him wrap his arms around her waist.  Her hands were on his chest, near her face.  One moved to circle his waist and she just closed her eyes, hearing his heartbeat and trying to calm herself.

“Now you know why I want Howe’s head on a spike so  bad.” She said quietly.  He said nothing more that night, hoping just his holding her let her know she was not alone.

***

Zevran sat at the campfire the next morning eating his breakfast.  Across the fire Sten and Leliana were talking.  He looked to the right to see Arianna and Alistair talking with the Keeper, most likely about the treaty with the Wardens.  The pair walked back to the fire pit the rest of the companions were around.  Alistair went to sit by Sten as Arianna settled in next to Zevran.

“She has agreed to honor the treaty when we call upon her,” Alistair said with a relieved sigh as he sat down.

Zevran handed Arianna a bowl of the oatmeal and she took it with a grateful smile.  “Thanks,” she said, “for last night too.” He tipped his head to her and returned her smile.

Looking up he caught a glare from Alistair.  He knew the male warden did not trust him.  He’d made it clear on more than one occasion that it had not been his decision to allow Zevran to live and join their party.  He seemed to get particularly agitated when Zevran spent time with Arianna.  At first Zevran worried it was jealousy on the larger man’s part and wanted to avoid causing issues within the party so he kept his distance.  After some time, however, he realized the two wardens had more of a sibling relationship, and that the snarls from Alistair were more of that of a big brother than a lover.  Once he realized that, Zevran relaxed around Arianna, and stopped avoiding her.

“He’s not happy I told you who I really am.  He thinks the less you know, the safer we are,” she explained, nodding her head towards Alistair as she ate.

“I do not wish to cause issue between you,” Zevran started to say to her.

“I told him to stuff it.” Arianna winked at him and gave him another smile. “I’m allowed to choose who my friends are for myself.”

Zevran returned to his breakfast.  He’d liked the sound of her calling him a friend.  Unlike any other friend he’d had in the past, he didn’t think he’d have to worry much about her trying to slash his throat while he slept.  He was happy seeing her spirits appeared to be better this morning.

***

They were about an hour out of the Dalish camp when Alistair and Ari stopped up ahead of the rest of the party and pulled out a map.  

“So we need to decide where to head next, we need to pass Lake Calenhad on the way to Redcliffe anyway, so let’s head there first.” Ari posed to Alistair, the rest of the party following behind.

“The Arl is ill, we should go there first,” Alistair countered.

Ari turned to face Alistair,  “Very well then,” she said, holding up a fist.  He held a fist too, as they counted to three.

Zevran leaned towards Leliana, “Should we be worried our leaders make all their decisions with ‘Rock, Paper, Knives’?” he chuckled, earning him a snort from the Orlesian.

“I win,” she danced around Alistair, “I mean, Lake Calenhad it is.” She straightened her clothing and stopped dancing.

Alistair just shook his head with a smile and laughed at her and the party continued their journey to the lake.

***

They set up camp late that night.  By Alistair’s estimate, they would reach the Circle in another two days.   It was the wardens’ turn to cook tonight, Sten and Leliana having caught the rabbits for dinner.

“Seriously, have you never heard of spices,” Arianna chided Alistair as she tasted the broth.

“We aren’t all spoiled nobles you know, spices cost money.  Besides did you even _know_ how to cook before you met me?” Alistair teased back.

“Anything I can cook would taste better than this.  Was it the flying dogs that taught you to cook?” she asked, reminding him of when he had told her about being raised by flying dogs when she’d probed about his childhood.

Alistair’s very mature response was to toss the cooking towel at her.

Zevran watched the two wardens tease each other while he continued his chore of cleaning the party’s armor, paying special attention to Arianna’s.  She had spared his life when she didn’t have to, and she had shown him trust where others still did not.  Keeping her armor and weapons in repair was a small way to pay her back.  He smirked, listening to the two continue to good naturedly call each other names.  Ari had told him last night how they had both lost their families, her when the Couslands were killed, him when the Wardens were massacred.  As a result, they had become the family that they both missed.  

He looked up to see why it had gotten quiet by the fire, and saw Arianna approaching him with 3 bowls.  The ever present Fiss on her heel.  She held a bowl out him with an explanation as he took it from her, “If you like it, I made it, otherwise it was made by dog boy over there.”

He chuckled in response, taking the offered bowl from her.  The sounds of their companions around the fire reaching them.  Just looking at the group, talking, laughing, it was strange to think they were on a mission to save all of Thedas.

Arianna placed a bowl on the ground for Fiss, and took a seat next to Zevran on the log he was on.  They ate in silence for a few minutes before she spoke.  “Thanks again for yesterday.  And for not telling the others about me crying. I mean Ali knows about it all, but I still don’t want them all to think I’m weak.” She said gesturing to the fire where Alistair, Leliana, Morrigan and Sten were eating.

Zevran looked at her and was surprised to see she was looking right at him. “My Wa… Arianna, there is nothing weak about missing your family.  I think even Morrigan would understand,” he tapped her with his elbow to goad a smile out of her.

“You can call me Ari, Zev.  Although I sort of like it when you call me that other thing.” She gave him a shy smile.

“My Warden?” he asked her.

She nodded, looking down, and even with the darkness, he was sure he could see a little blush.  That made him smile a little, learning she liked him calling her his. Looking back to the fire, he could see that Morrigan and Sten had each taken their meals back to their respective tents, and that Alistair and Leliana were now engaged in their own conversation, but that the male Warden still kept sneaking glances their way.

“I have found that if you talk about them, it will help.” He clarified when he saw her give him a questioning look. “Your family.  If you remember about how they lived instead of how they died, you’ll be able to think of them with smiles, instead of tears.”

She nodded and said little as she finished her stew.  Once done, they placed both bowls on the ground for Fiss to clean any morsels left behind.  He was pleasantly surprised when she moved closer to him.

“My sister-in-law, Oriana, she was from Antiva.” She said, leaning her head on his shoulder.  “She and I were such opposites, she was very ‘domestic’ and I liked to hunt, and spar with my brother and our soldiers.  But somehow we were still good friends.  She laughed easily, like you.”

Zev put his arm around her, and she moved even closer to him, her hand seeking out his and resting in his lap.  He stopped worrying about what was going on at the fire when she did so, liking the feel of her hand in his.  He concentrated on her talking about her family, closing his eyes to picture the people and places she described to him, only occasionally stopping her to ask questions.

***

“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” Leliana asked Alistair, noticing him staring over to the other two rogues for about the tenth time since dinner began.

Alistair shook his head.  “It’s not that.  She is like my sister.  I just don’t trust _him_.” He almost growled the last word.

“Alistair,” Leliana spoke softly, trying to calm him. “She’s a big girl.  She took on a pack of werewolves just two days ago.  She can take care of herself, and make her own choices.  And Fiss is with her, you know he won’t let any harm come to her.”

Alistair just nodded, he knew she was right, but still he wasn’t fully convinced he could let his guard down.  He never really had a family before, the Wardens were the first time he felt really a part of something.  When he lost them, he was devastated, but then he found a kindred spirit in Ari, and finally he felt a true connection of belonging, family.  He was terrified, that like with the Wardens, he could lose the only family he had if he wasn’t as vigilant as he could be.  He almost thought he’d be happier seeing her with the witch than her constantly seeking out the assassin.  He could see very clearly where it was headed with those two and didn’t like it.  

 

From the amazing [lucydoesart.tumblr.com](http://lucydoesart.tumblr.com)


	2. The Circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you love Cullen as much as I do, you may be a Cullenite!  
> Much of the dialog here is straight from the game.

Kinloch Hold was collapsing, because  _ of course _ it was.  Can  _ anything _ about this blight be easy, Ari wondered?  They now had the help of a mage, Wynne, that Ari faintly remembered talking to in Ostagar.  Ari held her head as she picked herself up into a sitting position on the floor.  That Maker forsaken demon had sent them all to theFade, she looked around the room seeing her other companions starting to awaken too.  She looked in Alistair’s direction trying to figure out what his nightmare had meant.  In it he had a sister, but Alistair told her he didn’t know who his family was, just that the Arl had raised him.  But the sister in his nightmare wasn’t her, so was she just how he pictured it would be if he had a sister?  She shook the thought from her head.  Probably best not to put too much thought into what some stupid sloth demon had cooked up.  She looked over as she felt a tap on her shoulder.  Zevran was offering her a hand to help stand up, and once she did, he produced a water skin as well.

“Let’s get up there and get this over with,” she said wiping the water from her mouth.  “This is starting to piss me off, and I need to find something to punch.”

They finally found their way up to the Harrowing Chamber.  To the side, Ari notices a templar in some type of force field, with the bodies of others around him.  “Wynne, can you pull that down?” Ari asked.

Wynne tried, but then shook her head no after several minutes. Ari approached the force field with  Zevran and Alistair were right behind her.

“This trick again? I know what you are. It won't work. I will stay strong...” the templar spoke, not quite looking at them.

“The boy is exhausted. And this cage... I've never seen anything like it. Rest easy... help is here.” Wynne tried to comfort the man.

“Enough visions. If anything in you is human... kill me now and stop this game.” The templar practically sobbed.

Leliana reached out, “He's delirious. He's been tortured... and has probably been denied food and water. I can tell. Here, I have a skin of—“

The templar skirted away, “Don't touch me! Stay away! Sifting through my thoughts... tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have... Using my shame against me... my ill advised infatuation with her... a mage, of all things. I am so tired of these cruel jokes... these tricks... these...”

Ari tried to reassure the obviously skittish man, “This is no trick. We're here to help.” She held her hands up to show she meant no harm, talking in a calm, quiet voice as she would a wounded animal.

“ Silence... I'll not listen to anything you say. Now begone! Still here? But that's always worked before. I close my eyes, but you are still here when I open them.” The Templar looked at them confused.

“I’m real, and I’m here to help you.” Ari offered up.  “What is your name Ser?”

“Don't blame me for being cautious. The voices... the images... so real...”, the man paused.  His eyes finally focusing on Ari. “Cullen.”

“Ok, Ser Cullen,” Ari continued, speaking softly again. “We’re here to help.  The Knight-Commander sent us in to stop this.  We’re going to save you, but we can’t pull down that shield, so we need to get up there and stop this.  But please, can you be calm? I promise you, we will get you out of there and to safety.  You just need to hold out a little bit more, ok?”

Cullen nodded. “Good… Kill Uldred.  Kill them for all they’ve done.”

Ari decided now was not the time to argue with the man about her plans, instead she just nodded and walked up to the chamber with her party.

The battle with the blood mages was hard fought.  More than once Ari was sure they would be killed, yet Wynne’s healing spells came to the rescue time and again.  Her blades spun in her hands as she faced off against one of the mages.  Something pressed against her back and she turned her head slightly to see it was Zevran, he was facing the other direction, keeping another mage from attacking her.

Alistair watched the mage in front of him fall and turned, to see the two rogues in the center of the chamber.  They had their backs to each other, but it almost looked like they were dancing, their movements so graceful.  If it wasn’t a bloodbath, it would almost be beautiful.

“Your left, Ari,” Alistair called out.

“Duck,” he heard her say as Zevran dropped to a crouch.  The blade flew from her hand and landed in the throat of Uldred.  The blood mage tried desperately to claw at the blade in his throat.  He fell to the ground, a few bloody gasps and he was gone.

Alistair took a step to make sure she was ok but Leliana placed a hand up and held him back.  Zevran was already in front of her his hands moving over her arms and face as she tried to push him away.  “I’m fine, you’re as bad as Alistair.”

Alistair couldn’t help but chuckle, it was nice to see her giving someone else a hard time for a change.

As they exited the chamber with First Enchanter Irving, Ari’s eyes fell upon Cullen.  The force field was gone, but he had yet to move.  “Alistair, help him, please.” She requested.

Alistair put his arm around the other man’s waist, helping him raise up, and slowly the entire group made their way back down to the first floor.  As they left, Ari gave one more look to the templar.  She worried what his future would be, she only had an inkling of what he went through, but she severely doubted the rest of the templars would have any idea of how to help him.  She felt her heart break a little for the young man.

Alistair took her hand as they left.  “He’ll be ok, sis.”  She nodded and squeezed his hand in return.

*** 

They had set up camp early that evening all feeling mentally exhausted  from the Fade.  Ari sat on the ground away from the fire, when she sensed Zevran come up behind her.  While he could be stealthy, he purposely made sure to be heard whenever he’d approach her from behind.  He had learned that lesson his first week in camp, when he came up behind her, meaning just to let her know that the river was ready for her and Leliana to take their baths, but the second he had touched her shoulder she turned around and had him pinned to the ground on his stomach quicker than he’d ever seen anyone move before.  She had her knee pressed into his kidney, and it seemed to take a full minute for her to realize it was him, and let him up.  Ever since then, he made sure to either always approach from where she could see, or make some noise from behind so as not to spook her again.

He sat behind her, his legs on either side as his hands slid along her back.  “You are tense, My Warden” he whispered in her ear, “Allow me to help.” She was about to protest, thinking this was another attempt to get her in his tent, when she suddenly felt his hands upon her shoulders.  He started to rub them, she could feel the stiffness melt away.  Instead of protesting, she relaxed into his hands and a quiet moan left her lips.  She looked up, no one else in the party was looking their way, giving no indication they had heard her, she let out a breath, grateful for that.

“I wonder what else I can do to make you make those beautiful sounds,” he whispered again into her ear, this time his lips brushing on them as he spoke. It sent a shiver of desire along her, but she did her best to hide it, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.  He was a flirt, and she knew it, she knew his type all too well, she might be lonely, but she was no blushing virgin either.  She wasn’t going to fall for pretty lines with no meaning behind them, she’d made that mistake before and it had cost her dearly. 

She playfully batted him away from her ear, but sunk back against his chest without any resistance when he pulled her in and wrapped his arms around the front of her.  She let her head fall against his shoulder, and she continued to watch the fire in the distance.  She found it relaxing, just watching the flames jump around, the wood crackle.  It reminded her of hunting trips with her brother and his friends.  It was peaceful, almost hypnotizing.

She moved her eyes to the side to look at Zevran without moving her head.  She could see his eyes were closed.  He seemed so peaceful.  She looked down further, to his lips, they looked soft, if she tilted her head towards him, she was sure he would kiss her.  Did she want that, she wondered?  Maybe, but not here, not in front of everyone, especially not in front of Alistair, who was quickly becoming just as stubbornly overprotective as Fergus ever had been.  Fergus had given a bloody nose to her last real suitor.  She had a feeling Alistair might actually do worse, or at least try to if he caught Zevran kissing her.  As if reading her mind, Zevran turned his head slightly and gave her a chaste kiss on her temple, squeezing his arms around her just a bit more, causing her to relax and turn her focus back to the fire, just enjoying the feeling of comfort, of being able to be held and just feel safe, something she had not felt since before the attack on Highever.  She let the scent of him, of leather and spices, envelop her.


	3. Screams in the night

_ A scream awoke her, followed quickly by another.  Ari’s eyes shot open and looked around.  She was in her room at Highever, the fire was still burning in the fireplace, so it must have only been a few hours since she went to bed.  She heard another scream, and then some men yelling.  Oriana, Oren, she thought.  I have to get to them.   _

_ Ari quickly moved out of the bed. She threw open the door ready to run across the hall to her brother’s room to help them.  As soon as the door was open, a large soldier appeared, he was one Ari did not recognize, not one of theirs.  He pushed her back into the room, kicking the door closed with his foot upon entering. _

_ “Arianna Cousland, Arl Howe sends his regards” _

_ Someone was screaming again. _

Ari shot up.  Blinking, she looked around and realized she was in her tent.  Not a second later Alistair was rushing in.  Dressed in just a cotton shirt and his sleep trousers, he looked disheveled and worried.   Ari just stared at him, who had been screaming?

“Ari?” he asked, staying back in case she was still stuck in her nightmare like last time.  “Ari, it’s me, it’s Alistair.  Are you ok?”

She didn’t answer, but crashed into his arms nearly toppling them both over.  He closed his arms around her, pulling her close. “Was it Highever again?” he asked, even though he knew the answer.

She just nodded, and started sobbing, clinging to him while she did.  Alistair ran one hand down her back, the other holding the back of her head while he tried to reassure her.  “You’re safe.  It’s ok now.” She nodded, but did not relent her grip on him just the same.  He was here, just feeling him close helped.  He would protect her like Fergus protected her.  Fergus.  She felt tears well up again, did he even know his family was lost?

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked, trying again to reassure her that it was safe to go back to sleep.  Still not able to find her voice, she nodded again.  Alistair lifted the tent flap just a little and called out, “C’mon Fiss.  The lady needs our protection.”

Fiss entered, as Alistair helped her lay back down on her bedroll.  He spooned behind her, and Fill took her front, effectively boxing her in, but something Alistair had discovered help her to calm down after one of these dreams.  He brushed her hair back with his hand while whispering reassuring words into her ear.  Letting her know he and Fiss were there, that it was ok to fall back asleep.  That she was far far away from Highever and safe from those soldiers.  “We’ll keep watch, you’re safe to sleep.  Fiss and I are right here if you need us.”  He laid awake beside her until he heard her breath even out and knew she was back asleep. Only then did he allow himself to fall asleep.

Zevran had dashed out into the camp the moment he heard the scream to see who was hurt, his blades ready.  Alistair had all but shoved him out of the way without so much as a word.  He watched with confusion as Alistair had entered Arianna’s tent.  Outside the tent Zevran paced.  He was unsure what to do, after seeing Alistair dive in.  He had heard murmurs from inside the tent, and at one point he was sure he heard Ari let out a sob.  He wasn’t sure if he should say anything or not, when suddenly Leliana was pulling him away.

“Let them be for now.  This is not the first time this has happened.  Alistair knows how to get her back to sleep, just leave them until morning, she’ll be ok.” Leliana tried to reassure him.

Deciding there was nothing he could do at this point, Zevran retreated back to his tent.  He would try to talk to her in the morning, but for now he’d have a restless night of sleep, worrying about his friend, hoping she was ok.  He stared up at the ceiling of his tent and listened for any sounds but heard none.  He knew Alistair would take care of her.  Zevran tried to reassure himself that she’d be ok as he laid on his bedroll.

*** 

The next morning Zevran exited the tent to find Alistair up, and eating breakfast.  He could see Leliana leading Ari down to the stream, Fiss following behind.  Zevran started to make a step in their direction when Alistair stepped in front of him, “Leave them.”

Zevran looked to the other warden, and nodded, joining him by the fire instead.

“Just give her some space today.” Alistair warned. “She doesn’t need anything to upset her.”

“And I upset her?” Zevran asked annoyed.

“She doesn’t need your innuendos today.”  Alistair grumbled, “She said you know who she really is?”

“Yes.  In my travels I had heard of what happened to her family.”

“Whatever you heard,” Alistair said, his brow furrowing.  He was staring at the ground, starting to look upset. “I promise you it wasn’t the whole story.  For one, her family were not traitors to Ferelden, that’s all a lie started by Arl Howe.  And the attack on Highever, more happened than is spoken about.”

“More than the family being murdered?” Zevran asked with a raised eyebrow.

Alistair nodded again, but looked up, this time with cold eyes. “I will not tell you any more.  She made me swear to keep what happened between us, and I will not break that trust.  If she wants anyone else to know, she will tell them.  I ask that you not push.  She will just need space today.  And, she may be a little more…. GRRR…. today.  More than usual, I mean.  Back off of her today, none of your flirting, and whatever else.  It’ll just make it worse for her.”

Zevran looked off in the direction she had walked off in.  There wasn’t much he could imagine worse than seeing your own family killed, but he could think of a few things, and he hoped he was very wrong about his suspicions about what had happened in Highever that night.


	4. Breaking through

When Alistair had said she would be angrier today, he had barely scratched the surface.  She had been quiet enough when they tore down camp, but as they continued towards Redcliffe, she looked ferocious.  Even Sten kept far back from her, Fiss was the only one daring to get even close to her, and he was still a few feet away.  The rest followed from behind.  While this was a view that Zevran normally would appreciate, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was what was best for her.  Then the bandits attacked.

There was about half a dozen of them, but before he had felled his first one, Ari had already disabled two and had another on the run.  She seemed to be taking pleasure in the fight, almost toying with the bandits before she cut them down.  The one that had taken for the hills looked like he might get away, when suddenly he saw her blade fly through the air and land with a thunk in the man’s back.  The bandit fell, dead before he had hit the ground.  She slowly strode to where he had fallen, pulled her dagger from his back, and while wiping it clean on her sleeve, seemed to almost have a smile on her face.  Interesting, Zev thought to himself.

And just as quick, the snarl was back on her face.  “Let’s keep moving,” she growled. “We lost valuable time dealing with these idiots.  Take what you can from them, we can sell it when we reach Redcliffe”.

They continued about another hour before they broke for lunch.  The group sat together, eating the rations they had obtained at the Circle.  All except Ari, who was standing a bit aways, looking in the direction they were headed, deep in thought.  Her long red hair, normally in a braid, was free, flailing lightly in the breeze.  Her hands were crossed in front of her chest, and she looked like she was deep in thought.  

Zevran looked around at the rest of the group.   _ They’re really just going to keep away from her? _ He thought to himself.  He shook his head, he couldn’t understand how none of them could see what she really needed.  Standing, he brushed himself off and started to walk towards her.  Alistair coughed, and shook his head no when Zevran looked back at him.  The elf ignored the man, and approached Arianna from the side so she could see him coming.

“Come,” he said, tilting his head away from their companions, and began to walk in the direction he had indicated.  When the mabari appeared at his side he knew she was following, even though she had not said a word.

He stopped once he knew they were out of earshot, and where they could not be seen as easily.  She gave him a curious look, but still said nothing just watched him, with an eyebrow raised to see what he would do.   He gave her a smile, and then pulled out his daggers. 

Ari felt panic start to rise in her chest when he pulled out the daggers.  Did he really mean to kill her here? No, she thought, he has had plenty of opportunity before and did nothing, why would he try now?  Fiss seemed relaxed, despite someone having drawn a weapon on his mistress, which helped reassure her as well.   Zevran circled, but made no move towards her, it was then that she realized he meant for her to spar.  She pulled the double daggers from her back and circled as he was, a wicked smile starting to form on her face.

The two rogues made a move towards each other.  Daggers clashed as they twisted around each other, arms pulling and pushing, without the weapons, it might have looked like a dance.  In some ways, it was, Ari thought.  It became clear quickly that Zevran did not mean to harm her, taking no opportunities to strike when she was open, instead, it seemed as if he was urging her to attack him.  “BRASKA!  Do something,” he yelled at her. “Or are you really the weak, helpless woman Howe believed you to be.  Should we keep you in the back of the fight from now on, so that the men can keep you safe?”, she said nothing, but started to growl at him. Ari felt her blood start to boil!  She was going to kill him, how dare he.

“Perhaps I should be the leader, I can take it so easily from you.  What will you do about it? Nothing, you are weak.”

That was it, Ari rushed at him, throwing down her daggers, she swung at him.  He was able to block with ease, but did not swing back.  She took another, and then another, one landing on his cheek, but he did not stop his fool mouth from flapping  

“Is that all you have?  You are a child playing a warriors game.  Give up!” he snarled again.

Picking back up her knives, she began to attack again.  With each swing and hit she felt powerful, she was showing him she was not weak. Finally she took one last swing of her leg, knocking him down as he pulled her with him.  She lay on the ground, looking up at the sky, Zevran was next to her.  He leaned up on one arm and looked down at her, pushing the hair out of her face with his hand, and brushing her cheek with his thumb.

“Feel better?” he asked, his voice much softer than before.  

She nodded looking back at him, keeping eye contact, feeling unable to look away.  She truly did, all the fear, the anxiety she’d been carrying around all day was gone.  She realized at that moment that was the exact point.  He somehow knew she just needed to get that all out.  “Thank you” she whispered, rolling over to hug him.  He put an arm around her and pulled her closer.  “Anytime, My Warden” he said quietly, his hand rubbing along her back as she rested on his chest.  She was calmer, more relaxed.  She snuggled in closer to him, grateful for how he had helped.  The arms around her tightened in response as she settled.

When they rejoined the group, it was clear the others had been having to keep Alistair back from running to where they had been sparring.  “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?” he asked, sounding worried.  He pulled Ari close, looking her over for injury.

“Alistair, I am the one with the bruised cheek, and you are asking her if  _ I _ hurt  _ her _ ?” Zevran laughed, walking to Wynne, who promptly healed him up.

“I’m fine” Ari said, giving Alistair a smile so he could see she meant it.  “He was just helping me get focused again.” She looked around at the rest of her friends. “Sorry everyone, we ready to continue?”

They started back up on their journey, this time with Zevran and Morrigan at Ari’s side.  Alistair followed from behind along with Leliana and Sten.  “I don’t understand?” he said.  “He attacks her, and now she is happy?”

Leliana shrugged, but Sten spoke up. “I believe she needed somewhere to channel her anger,” he said.  “He just offered himself up as the target.”

*** 

It was Ari and Alistair’s turn to gather firewood.  As they walked through the brush, picking up what they could Ari turned to him, “So, you probably haven’t been back there in a long time, are you looking forward to seeing Redcliffe again?”

Alistair shrugged.  He seemed to be particularly quiet, “I guess” was all he offered up.

“Ali,” she asked, picking up on his change in mood.  “Are you ok?  Did I do something? Is this because of Zevran earlier?”

Alistair shook his head. “No, it’s fine.  We’re fine, I’m just unsure about the next few days is all, it’ll be fine.  I just need to prepare myself for it is all, but it will be...”

“Fine?” she asked, finishing for him.  “You said that word already.  Look, I won’t push, just tell me what’s wrong when you’re ready.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “Let’s head back, I think we have enough.”

Alistair smiled at her when she walked off.  Despite all the horror that had been Ostagar and the blight, finding a best friend like Ari, someone that was true family, finally, that made it almost worth everything else.  He just hoped she’d remain so when she discovered the truth about him.

*** 

After dinner they broke off again into groups, Alistair, Sten and Leliana playing Wicked Grace by the fire.  Morrigan was off at her own camp, reading a book they had found at the Circle.  Fiss could be heard barking as he jumped and played with Sandal, with his father watching on and laughing.

Under the trees, and away from the others, Zevran and Ari were deep in discussion.  She was sharing with him the time her brother had been trying to impress the woman that would one day be his wife.  He had been attempting to do some exquisite trick jump with his horse.  “The horse, however, couldn’t care less about impressing any women.  Right before the horse was supposed to jump it stopped dead.  Fergus went flying over,” Ari gestured an arch with her hand, “and landed on his arm, breaking it.  Orana ran over to him so quickly.  She started fawning all over him.  When I returned from the castle with my father those two were all but making out.  Total lip lock.” Ari laughed, settling into Zevran’s arms as she did.  “Turns out breaking his arm was the best thing to happen to him.  They were married within six months.”  

Zevran chuckled, “Men do foolish things for the attention of a beautiful woman.  It is a sweet story of your brother.”

“What about you, Zev?” she asked, “You never talk about your family.”

He shook his head, “I did not know my family.  My mother died when I was very young, I was raised by the whores in the brothel until I was bought by the Crows.  The only thing I remember about my mother was some soft Dalish leather gloves she would wear.  I don’t know what happened to them after she died.”

“I’m sorry, Zev”, she answered quietly.  

His arm around her pulled her close.  “It is ok” 

They sat in silence watching the stars for a while.  She enjoyed the feeling of his arm around her.  She could feel the heat from him as she leaned in.  He smelled of leather and some exotic spice she couldn’t place.  She felt a little rush of excitement when he placed his lips to the top of her head and tightened his arm around her.

“Zev?” she asked as she felt him lean his cheek against her head. He hummed in response.

“Can you teach me to be be an assassin?” she asked him.

He thought about it for a minute.  He realized this might help her feel more in control, so he agreed with a nod against her head. “Si.  I can do this.  The Crows already want me dead.  Teaching you their secrets won’t make it any worse.”

“I won’t let them.  You’re one of mine now.” Ari answered, tilting her head up and placing a kiss on his cheek.  Zevran felt a strange tingle run through him, starting at the point where her lips had touched him.  It was a sensation he’d never experienced before, and he found it curious.


	5. Tell the truth

By the time they reached Redcliffe, Alistair looked to Ari like he would puke at any minute.  She couldn’t tell what he was so nervous about, as he had pretty much stopped talking altogether over the last day.  Just as they were about to cross the bridge into the village he spun on his heels and pulled Ari away from the others.

“Ali?” she asked him, looking at him with concern in her eyes.

“So, look,” he started, kicking at the dirt, not able to meet her eyes. “There’s something I need to tell you, before you hear it from someone in the castle.”

“Ali, what is it, you can tell me.”, she was becoming worried at what he might say and reached for his hand.

“I… I told you how the Arl raised me, but I lied when I said I didn’t know who my father was.” Alistair was looking down at the ground.

“The Arl?” she asked.

He shook his head, “My mother, she died when I was born, that was the truth, she was a maid in King Maric’s castle. My father…” he paused, taking a deep breath.  It was now or never.  He was terrified she’d react like all the others and start treating him like royalty, or worse, she’d be angry at him, tell him he was out of the group.  He looked up, to her eyes, “My father was King Maric.”

He was greeted with silence.  She was saying nothing, just staring at him with a look he couldn’t read.  The longer she stared at him, the more nervous he became.  Oh Maker, he thought, I was right, she’s pissed.  He braced himself for the hit he was sure was coming, or even worse yet, that she’d just walk away and never talk to him again.  What he didn’t expect was the loud laugh that came bursting from her at that moment.

She tried to cover her mouth, but that did little to stop the noise, tears started running down her cheeks from laughing so hard.  Alistair just gave her a confused look.

When she finally was able to regain her composure enough to speak she held up her hand.  “Sorry, I’m sorry” She started to laugh again.  “I just realized, you’re not just a bastard.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Ari?” he asked, this didn’t sound good, she just said he was worse than a bastard.

“You….” She tried unsuccessfully to stop laughing. “You’re a  _ Royal _ bastard!!!” she laughed and grabbed at her stomach, tears flowing again.

Alistair couldn’t help but start laughing at this display before him.  All the tension, and nervousness he had been feeling for the last few days just melted away.  He never should have doubted her.  He had just told her his darkest, biggest secret, and she had made it alright.  With her laughter, she had let him know that nothing had changed between them.

“Anything else?” she asked, finally reigning in her laughter.

“I have a sister in Denerim, never met her though.” He shrugged. “And I really like cheese.”

“Already knew about the cheese,” she smiled, “and if we make it to Denerim, we can look up your sister if you want.  But you have to promise I’m still the favorite.” She winked at him.

“So, if you’re done with the secrets, are you ready to enter Redcliffe, your highness?” she asked with a bow.

“Maker, don’t start that.” He groaned, as he pulled her into a hug.

“Whatever you say,” she whispered to him, as she returned the hug. “My prince”

He rolled his eyes at her as he let her go, and then cringed as he heard her yell out to their companions “Hey guys, guess what…..”

*** 

Ari did NOT like Isolde Guerrin.  The woman was everything she had hated about her fellow nobles.  The woman was whiny, manipulative, and her own feeling of superiority had led to her son being under the power of a demon while her husband was under a blood mage’s spell.  

For the moment, things had quieted down.  Conner, or rather the demon in Conner, was subdued and in a spell induced sleep.  Teagan seemed to have returned to his normal self.

“I thank you both again for your help,” Teagan nodded to Ari and Alistair.  He took Ari’s hand and placed a soft kiss to it.

“Teagan, who is this woman?” Isolde asked, sounding almost jealous. “You and your dog, why are you in my home?”

“What’s that?  Thank you for saving you and your family? Oh no no, it was nothing, just battling possessed soldiers and shades.” Ari replied not amused.  Teagan bit back a smile, enjoying seeing someone put Isolde in her place for once.

“Teagan, take your trollop out of here before Conner sees her,” Isolde screeched.

Teagan gave Ari a grin and turned to Isolde.  “Isolde, allow me to introduce Lady Arianna Cousland.”

Isolde’s eyes grew wide and she dropped to a bow, “Teyrna, my apologies.  I… I am so sorry my Lady.”  Ari didn’t miss the pleased grin on Teagan’s face at seeing his sister-in-law grovel.  “I’ll see to it that a room is set up for you right away my Lady.  For you and your companions….”  Her voice dropped off as she took a look at who in fact was with Arianna.  Her eyes grew wide when they got to her fellow warden.  “Alistair, what are you doing here?” She sounded annoyed, not surprised or happy to see Alistair, which Ari couldn’t understand.  Wasn’t this his home?

“We heard Arl Eamon was ill.  We’ve come to help.” Alistair explained.

“He most certainly does not need help from you, get out of my sight.” Isolde snapped at him.  Alistair said nothing in reply and left.

Ari handed her bags to Leliana.  “I’ll be back, tell everyone to rest while we can,” she said to the bard.  Ari then followed out the way Alistair had left.  Out in the courtyard she looked around, unable to see any sign of where he went.  There was an elf tending to a garden and when Ari asked, the woman directed her to the stables.

Ari entered the horse stable and could see nothing but, well, horses.  She moved along, looking in each stable as she went but seeing no sign of him.  She reached the end and in the last stall was his sword, shield and pack, but no Alistair. She looked out of the far door and saw him leaning along the wall, on the back of the barn.

“Ali,” she walked towards him.

He looked over and gave her a half hearted smile, he made circles in the ground with his shoe.

“Why don’t you come back up to the castle, I’m sure our rooms are ready.  You and I can take our meal in your room and just play cards or something.” She offered holding a hand out to him.

Alistair took her hand and held it.  “You’ve already seen my room.” He replied looking back to the barn.

“What? What do you mean?”

“When Isolde married Eamon, I was maybe six.  Ever since then that stall was my room.” Alistair was unable to look up at her, feeling ashamed.

“What? How?” Ari moved closer.

Alistair shrugged, “It could have been worse.  I was a bastard of the king, if I was in Orlais I would have been chopped into pig slop.  At least I had a stable to sleep in.”

“With the horses.” Ari corrected him.  “That’s no way to treat a child.  Alistair, that’s not ok.”

He shrugged again, “I was just lucky to be allowed to stay here.”

“Is that what…. She told you that?” Ari asked him horrified.  Alistair shrugged again.  “Ali, grab your stuff and follow me.  I’ll order you if I have to.”

Alistair sighed and pushed off the wall with a nod, stopping only to collect his things before following Ari to the castle.

*** 

Zevran sat at the table of the main room watching Isolde instruct her servants.  She seemed to have been unable to find a room for him as of yet.  He sat up straighter when he saw Ari enter with a forlorn looking Alistair behind her.  Had she yelled at him?  He wasn’t sure what Ari would have yelled at him for.  Ari spotted Isolde and made a beeline for her and before the Arlessa could react Ari slapped her hard across the face, leaving a mark.

“My Lady, I…. Did I offend you Teyrna?” Isolde held her cheek and was all but groveling again.

“You most certainly did.  How dare you!  You were given a child to care for and you treated him worse than a dog.  You stay out of my sight while we are here.” Ari glared at Isolde.  She looked over and noticed Zevran sitting there.  “Let me guess, she just simply can’t find a room for you?”  Zevran nodded.

“Fine, Alistair, you’re with me, Zev, you get his room.” She glared back at Isolde.  “Any objections, Arlessa?”

“No, no my Lady,” Isolde jumped and scurried from the room.

“Ari, you didn’t have to…” Alistair started to say.

“I most certainly did have to.  Let’s go to bed, I’m tired and we can talk about what to do for Connor at dinner.” She interrupted him and walked past him and Zevran to the guest rooms.

The men followed, “That was amazing.” Zevran all but growled.

Alistair chuckled, “No argument from me.  I can’t believe she did that.”

“I can, if that was about you, as I suspect.  Ah, I shall be seeing that in my dreams tonight, my friend,” Zevran sighed.

“So will I,” Alistair nodded, “although probably not in the same way you will.”  He gave Zevran a sideways glance and blushed slightly.

***** 

When Alistair explained that she was why he had been sent to the Chantry as a boy, her dislike of the woman increased.  Once Isolde found out who Ari really was, suddenly the woman went from treating her with disdain to falling all over herself to win Ari’s approval.  Ari really wanted to just let the woman have to deal with her own mess, but she couldn’t let an innocent child suffer, and it was clear that despite everything, the Arl’s survival was important to Alistair, so for the sake of Connor and Alistair, she’d do what she could.  Ari started to feel really bad for Alistair, these people were the closest thing to family he had growing up, and the only one that seemed worth a damn to her right now was Connor, and possibly Teagan.

“Wynne, is there any other options?” she asked the elder mage.  The blood mage, Jowan, explained he could save Connor with blood magic, an option that Ari really didn’t consider reasonable.

“There may be a way to enter the Fade and fight this demon, but it will require more magic than I have.  We’d need more mages.”

Ari nodded.  “Back to the circle then.”  Looking at her companions.  “Alistair, you should stay here, just in case there’s issues, someone with Templar abilities would be useful.  Morrigan, you should stay as well, just in case Wynne needs help before I get back.  Zev, Leli and Sten, with me.”

As they turned to leave, Alistair gently grabbed Ari’s arm.  When she turned to look at him, he just looked down, and whispered “Thank you.”

Ari reached out and hugged him close.  “Don’t you know by now there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, you dummy?” which earned her a snort from him.

*** 

They made good time that first day, having horses from Isolde instead of having to go by foot.  At this rate, the week plus journey should only take about two and a half days by her calculations. They went as far as they could until stopping to set up camp, agreeing it would be foolish to continue riding when it was so dark and they had no mages.  Ari offered to make dinner that night, but Sten groaned, and then Leli suddenly spoke up that it was her turn, so she should take care of it.  Leli was not one normally volunteering to make dinner, so Ari just shrugged and handed over the pans to her.

Once she was out of earshot, Sten bowed his head to Leli, and said quietly, “Thank you Kadan.  I don’t think my stomach could handle another night of her stew.”

Ari walked off to where a group of trees sat, a clearing in front where she could get a good look at the moon.  She wondered if Fergus was out there somewhere looking at the moon at that moment.  Maker, please,  _ please _ let him be out there somewhere.  The thought of being all alone, of him being gone too was almost too much.  Fergus just had to be out there, she couldn’t be all that was left.  Tears started to fall, she hated crying, she was not some weak little helpless noble.  She turned and punched the tree behind her, and then jumped when she heard his voice from the side.

“Did that tree offend you?  Shall I defend your honor but chopping it down, My Warden?”, the Antivan asked as he stepped into the moonlight.

Ari shook her head, and tried her best to give him a smile. “It was just the unlucky victim of my anger.”   
  
“Ah,” Zev hummed, nodding his head.  “And what is the cause of your anger, since it is not the tree?”

Ari sighed, leaned back up against the tree and looked at the moon again.  “I was just thinking that maybe Fergus is out there somewhere looking at the moon.  Is he still alive, does he know that I’m alive? Are we both thinking we’re the last of our line?  Does he know about his family?  Does he know the truth?  And then I started thinking about how even if it’s all gone, I at least had a family who loved me, and cared for me, even if Fergus was a prat at times.”  She turned her eyes to Zevran, “And that got me thinking how you and Alistair never had that.  Those  _ people _ in that castle, they were trusted to take care of him.  It wasn’t his fault who his father was, he was just a little boy, and they treated him like he was nothing.  They sent him away when it became inconvenient, they made him feel like he was nothing, less than that.  And now they have the nerve to beg him for help, they…”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence, as his lips were suddenly on hers.  At first she was in shock, what was he doing? Then her brain caught up, he was kissing her.  He had one hand on her waist, the other along the tree that he had her pinned against.  Once her brain understood, her hands seemed to follow right behind, coming around his waist to pull him closer. 

He ran his tongue along her lips, begging for entry.  When she parted them, his tongue rubbed along hers, making her moan into his mouth.  Encouraged by that, he pushed against her further, starting to run his hand that had been at her waist up her side, at the meantime his hips began to rock into hers.  Ari put her hands on his shoulder blades and pulled him closer.  All she could smell at this point was him, all she could taste was his kisses, all she could feel was him pressed against her, and  _ Maker, if you’re out there, I want more! _ She thought. As if knowing what she had just thought, his thumb brushed along her breast, teasing at the quickly hardening peak.  That elicited another moan from her and another roll of his hips from him. Her knees felt weak, but he kept her pressed against the tree, so she was able to remain upright.  The roll of his hips were making her start to feel wet, wanting so much for some friction.  The sounds he was making was music to her ears.   _ Don’t stop _ she screamed in her head.

So of course he stopped right then, putting his forehead to hers, and looking into her eyes.  “That better have not been just to shut me up,” she whispered to him.

Zevran chuckled, “No, but it was quite effective, I may have to remember that tactic next time you are ranting.”

At that moment they heard Leliana call to them that dinner was ready.  Zevran started to push away from the tree, when Ari grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to her.  She pressed her lips to his again, this kiss less urgent than before but still filled with as much passion.  When they broke apart she whispered in his ear, “My tent, tonight” and then moved out of his arms, calling to Fiss and walking off towards the camp.

Zevran watched her go with a smile on his face.  He needed a moment to calm down before joining the rest, sure that he’d have to endure teasing from Leliana if she saw the state he was in right now.  After a few moments, and some deep breaths, he ran his hand through his head, and joined the others for dinner.  He’d never tell Ari how grateful he was that Leliana stepped in to cook.  Ari could kiss, but her cooking was terrifying he thought with a shiver.


	6. Attack at Highever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!  
> This chapter contains a brief description of a rape, if you think at all this might trigger you, skip to the next chapter. I'll put a note in there so you know anything important you missed when I put it up later.
> 
> Alternatively, if you want to read the chapter but just skip that scene, when you get to "A scream awoke her" stop reading, skip through everything italicized and then pick back up with "Ari shot up with panic".

Dinner went by fairly uneventful, although Zevran was pretty sure that Ari had told Leliana about the kiss as the two women were sitting by the fire talking in hushed whispers and occasionally looking in his direction where he was cleaning their weapons and armor.  Arianna was on a log behind Leliana, braiding her hair, but occasionally she’d lean down to say something to her friend that they’d both laugh at, and immediately stop whenever he or Sten looked over.  Fiss had taken a spot near Zevran, deciding giggling women were not his thing.  He looked up to the elf and whined.

“Best not to think too much on it, my friend.” He said to the dog with a wink. “When they laugh, all is well. It’s when they whisper and look over with no laughter that you are in trouble and had better start pricing out jewelry.”

***

They were barely a foot in the tent and were already starting to pull off clothing.  Ari’s boots and vest were already in the corner, her shirt no longer tucked into her trousers.  Zevran’s shirt had joined that pile along with his shoes.  Fiss sat outside the tent and huffed.  He was unhappy his mistress had made it clear that he was not to enter the tent no matter what, and that he was to keep anyone else from entering as well.  He loved protecting his mistress, but without the other Warden here, it meant no warm tent to sleep in, so he huffed again hearing the whispers and giggling coming from the tent.

Zevran pulled Ari’s shirt over her head and continued kissing her passionately.  He left her lips and his kisses started wandering across her jaw, over to her ear, where he gave a playful nibble before continuing down her neck and collarbone.  All the while he worked at helping her lower onto the bedroll.  Ari’s hands meanwhile began to explore his body.  As an elf, he was not as broad as a human, but his chest and arms were still muscular, and she could feel them ripple as she ran her fingertips over them.  She started to hum appreciatively as he continued kissing her, moving on top of her once she was laying down.

She ran her hands along his bare back.  She loved the feel of him on top of her, how solid he felt, warm and safe.  His lips rejoined hers in another passionate kiss as he rolled his hips along hers.  Her hands immediately grabbed his behind, urging him on.  Even through the layers of clothing, she could feel herself getting excited from the feel of his arousal.  She started to move her hands towards the ties on his trousers, but he pushed them away.  “Patience mi amor.” He whispered to her.  “All in good time.”

He moved his hand around to remove her breastband.  Once it was gone, he started massaging a breast, while continuing to kiss her neck.  Ari continued moaning, a noise Zev was sure he would never tire of.  He was suddenly very happy she had left Alistair behind.  While Leliana and Sten might ignore the noises, he was fairly certain he’d be getting dragged out of the tent and pummeled if an over protective brother was here at the moment.

Spurred on by the sounds, he teased one of the hardened peaks with his tongue.  Her hands went to his hair, but the minute he started to suck on the breast, she froze.  Her hands stilled in his hair, and she had stopped making any noise.  Her body, which had a moment ago been writhing, was as stiff as a board.  He lifted his head to look at her, she was no longer looking at him, instead gazing up at the ceiling of the tent, tears starting to build in her eyes.

“Ari?” He whispered, moving off of her and to the side, pulling himself up so that he was eye level with her again.  “Mi Amor, what is it? Talk to me.”  She still didn’t answer, but closed her eyes as more tears started to appear.  Zevran could feel his blood run cold.  He knew exactly what had happened, exactly what he had feared had happened to her.  He could feel the anger build, but took a deep breath to calm himself as he knew that was not what she would need at that moment.  He could curse the monster later, he would find whoever it was and show him exactly what a Crow could do to you if you angered him.  But he had to push that down for now, right now he had to concentrate on getting Ari to calm down, to realize she was safe.

He pulled the blankets up over her to give her some privacy, and took one of her hands in his own, while touching her cheek in calming strokes with the other.  “Ari, bonita, you are safe, open your eyes. Do not hide your beautiful eyes from me.”

She slowly opened her eyes, tears still streaming down them, she slowly looked over at him.  “I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “Please don’t hate me.” She whispered.

Stabbing, lots of stabbing.  The man would look like a pincushion when the Crow was done with him.  Zevran ran his hand along her face again and kissed away the tears. “No, mi amor.  I do not hate you.  Everything is ok.  You have done nothing wrong, si?” She nodded her head, but didn’t look like she really believed him.  He laid down beside her and reached over to pull her into his arms.  She hugged him tight, and started to silently cry in his arms while he did his best to soothe her, rubbing his hands along her arms and back.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked quietly.  She shook her head. “Do you wish me to return to my tent?” he asked, she didn’t answer, but instead held on tighter, which he took as his answer.

“Ok, My Warden.  I will stay.  Do you want me to hold you tonight?” he asked, he knew right now it was important to ask before doing anything.  She was clearly very fragile, and he didn’t want to do anything that would make it worse.

She spoke finally. “Yes” she squeaked, and then a shiver ran through her.  He reached over and grabbed his shirt, handing it to her, which she quickly put on and then climbed back into the covers.  He slid under them, and then put his arm around her waist, letting her settle in beside him again.  He kissed her on the head, while running one hand along her arm.

“You are safe, My dear Warden.  I will let no harm come to you, tonight or any other time.  I swear to you I will not let anyone else ever hurt you again.” She squeezed him again, her tears having stopped, and her breathing starting to slow.  Zevran made a promise to himself that he would do everything in his power to keep her safe.  He now understood completely Alistair’s need to be ever vigilant for her.  He had thought the Warden was possessive or jealous, now he knew that like him, he just wanted to keep anyone else from ever harming her.  What had been done to her made Zevran angry.  Sex was something he knew as a pleasure, a way to share a closeness with another, to find pleasure.  That there were some that would use it instead as an act of terror was an abomination.  As he felt her drift off to sleep in his arms, he kissed her head again, and swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to find anyone connected to doing this to her, and make sure they knew pain, and lots of it before he ended their life.

***

_A scream awoke her, followed quickly by another.  Ari’s eyes shot open and looked around.  She was in her room at Highever, the fire was still burning, so it must have only been a few hours since she went to bed.  She heard another scream, and then some men yelling.  Oriana, Oren, she thought.  I have to get to them._

_Ari quickly moved out of the bed. She threw open the door ready to run across the hall to her brother’s room to help them.  As soon as the door was open, a large soldier appeared, he was one Ari did not recognize, not one of theirs.  He pushed her back into the room, kicking the door closed with his foot upon entering._

_“Arianna Cousland, Arl Howe sends his regards”_

_Ari looked at the soldier, she did not like the look in his eyes.  She quickly darted towards her bed to grab for her daggers. Before she could get to them he was upon her, pushing her to the ground.  He started tearing at her clothes, ripping them as she tried desperately to push him away.  He had her legs pinned beneath him as she continued to try to scratch and push with her arms and cry out, sure someone would bust in at any minute._

_The man had enough, grabbing her hands and holding them down as he pushed down his trousers with the other.  “This is for thinking you had the right to turn Nathaniel against his father.  The Arl wants you to know this is your own doing for poisoning his son’s mind against him.” And with that he pushed into her, while licking her face._

Ari shot up with panic.  She couldn’t breathe.  Where was she?  She looked around, ok, ok, she thought to herself, _this is my tent._ She looked down, she was wearing a shirt that was not her own, but it felt calming.  She held it up to her nose, spices and leather. Zevran.  She could feel her breathing start to slow.  She turned her head and saw him sitting upright, but he made no move to touch her, clearly waiting to see if she was awake yet. “Ari?” he said quietly, hoping not to spook her.  She dove into his arms so quick she nearly knocked the wind out of him.  He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap, wanting to surround her so that she’d know it was safe.

Quietly she started talking to him, telling him what had happened the night of the attack in Highever.   She cried during most of it.

“Duncan found me after he’d left.  He helped me escape Highever.” She pressed further into his arms.  Alistair had been the only other person she’d ever told about this before.  Saying it out loud made it real, made it harder to pretend it had just happened to someone else.

Zevran said nothing, but rubbed his hands along her cheek, around her arms, her back, anything he could do to make her feel ok, feel safe.  All the while keeping a neutral face, the same one the Crows had trained him to use, knowing that what she did not need now was to see his anger, afraid that if she did, she might mistake it for being aimed at her.

“I should have fought him harder, I shouldn’t have let him do that.  How can you not hate me knowing that?” she hugged herself waiting for him to leave, to tell her that she was the worst person in Thedas.

“Ari,” he touched her cheek gently, and pressed his forehead to hers “no one is to blame but Howe, no one.  You are not to blame my beautiful Ari.”

Ari touched his face.  “Zev.” was all she said, looking at him.

“I told you before, I will protect you, I promise this to you.” He kissed her softly.  “You are safe, from Howe and anyone else.”

She burrowed into his chest again and stayed that way until sleep took her again.  Once he could feel her slumbering, he softly lowered her to the bedroll and laid next to her again, arm wrapped around her, as he watched over her.


	7. Return to Kinloch Hold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you skipped the last chapter, here's the important plot points you missed:  
> * Things got hot and heavy between Zev and Ari, but ended abruptly  
> * Ari told Zev that she had been brutally attacked the night of the siege on Highever  
> * Zev was his typical awesome self and supported her as best she could
> 
> And now on with the rest of the story

They arrived at Kinloch Hold two days later.  Leliana suggested she talk to the Knight-Commander and First Enchanter, and Ari agreed, finding that Leliana had impressive negotiation skills.  Zevran and Sten took what surplus supplies they had to the Hold’s shop keep to trade for needed potions as well as for coin that would come in handy later.  Ari approached the Knight-Captain and inquired about the whereabouts of the man they had rescued the last time they were here, Ser Cullen Rutherford.  The Knight-Captain led Ari to the Templar’s mess hall, where she could see Cullen sitting at a table alone, the other Templars giving him a wide berth.  She thanked the Knight-Captain, and approached his table.

“Would it be ok if I join you for a minute, Ser Cullen?” she asked, standing near the seat by him.

Cullen immediately stood, hand going to the back of his head, rubbing it.  “Oh, uh yes, please. Sorry, I know who you are, but I don’t recall your name?” Maker, she thought, he sure is nervous for a Templar.  

“You can call me Ari,” she said, smiling, taking a seat, as he sat back down as well.

“Ari, what can I help you with?” Cullen asked, scowling slightly into the bowl of soup in front of him.  It must have been the end of meal, as nearly all the other Templers had already exited or were starting to leave.

“I came with my companions to request help for the Arl of Redcliffe, but I came in here to see you.” She said softly.  “I didn’t really get a chance to talk to you before I left, how are you Cullen?”

He shot his eyes up at her in disbelief.  “I… I don’t really think you want the answer to that, my lady.” He answered, keeping his voice down, but anger clearly there, just below the surface.

“Cullen,” she said, looking at her hands. “I can’t say I understand what happened, I may know what happened, but it happened to you, not me, and I won’t insult you by trying to pretend I know for a second what you’re feeling right now.  But I just wanted to come here, to let you know, that if you needed a friend, if you ever just need someone to listen to, I’d be happy to be there for you.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow at her but said nothing.   _It’s a really good thing I hadn’t met him a year ago,_ she thought to herself. _I definitely would have been putting his kissing skills to the test, poor boy wouldn’t have known what hit him_.

Ari decided she’d try one last approach to get him to talk, she took one of his large hands into her two smaller ones. “Cullen,” she started, “I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I know what it’s like to live past something horrible.  I know what it’s like to not be able to sleep because you’re awoken every night by visions.”

Cullen nodded, “I had heard Wardens had dreams about the darkspawn during a blight.  But forgive me, Serrah, that is hardly the same….”

“That’s not what I meant, Cullen.  Before the blight, before I was a Warden, my entire family was attacked in their sleep.  They were all killed, as far as I know I was the only one to survive.  I may or may not have a brother somewhere lost out there.  I still can feel the fires they had set in our home.  I can hear the screams of those that were killed.  It’s been nearly 8 months, and yet sometimes it still feels like yesterday.”

“Maker”, Cullen whispered. “Forgive me, I didn’t know.” He shook his head.  He looked down at their joined hands for a minute, finally raising his eyes to look at her again.  “You…. You do understand.”

She nodded. “My brother was a soldier, I know it’s something they tell you to keep inside, to not talk about.  But I also know that can make it hurt worse.  I just wanted you to know, that if you ever did want to talk about it, if you wanted a friend who did understand, you could write to me.   We’re travelling around, but I suspect Redcliffe castle will be our base for a little while.  You could leave me letters there.”

Cullen looked down again, once again rubbing the back of his head. “I probably shouldn’t,” he explained. “But, could I think about it?  Maybe just write for the sake of it?  I have family, but I don’t really write to them, it might be nice to have a friend who wasn’t in the Chantry for a change.”

“I’d like that Cullen,” she said, giving him a hug.  As she pulled back, she heard a cough from the other end of the hall.

“Should I be concerned to find you in the arms of a dashing Templar, mi amor?” Zevran teased.

Ari rolled her eyes, squeezed Cullen’s hand and stood up to leave, “I’ll let you go so that you don’t get in trouble with your Knight-Captain.  But remember what I said, ok?”  Cullen only nodded, watching the redhead exit with the tattooed elf.  He felt a sudden sense of ease fall over him.  Even if he didn’t talk about what had happened, just knowing there was someone outside the Chantry he could write to, that mail day might no longer be as lonely, he felt like the day was looking up.

***

Their trip back to Redcliffe was proving to be slower than the trip to the Circle.  The mages were clearly not used to so much travel, needing to stop often and for longer amounts of time.  Eventually, Ari decided it was better for them to stop early for the day and get an early start the next morning to make up for the lost time.

Zevran had suggested they take advantage of the remaining daylight for him to start showing Ari some moves, which is how she now found herself in a hidden bit of woods away from the others with only Fiss to keep them company.  The mabari had staked out a spot for himself by a tree and was currently lying down watching the two rogues.

Zevran stood in front of her, putting her legs into position, slightly apart and slightly bent.  “You should feel as if all your weight is going through your legs, connecting you to the ground.  It will make it harder to knock you down.” he explained.  She nodded and watched him closely as he demonstrated the stance.

He stepped closer and touched her cheek.  “If anything disturbs you, tell me, or tap my leg and we will stop.  I want you to know how to protect yourself, but I want you to feel safe.  You will tell me, si?”

She nodded and Zevran questioned himself why he was being so gentle.  Any other trainee he would expect them to be tough, a Crow did not focus on their past, pain was a tool to use to embolden you.  Why was he concerned so much she not fear him?  Wouldn’t it be better for her to feel that fear, to use it?  He shook his head and decided he’d explore these thoughts later.

He stood behind her and grabbed her hips, his chest pressed to her back and pressed down.  “You feel now, the difference, more grounded?”

“Yes,” Ari nodded, her mouth going dry feeling him so close.

“Good, we shall begin then,” he said, his breath tickling her ear.

Zevran moved back in front of her, he took her hand and placed it in the center of his chest.  “Let your arm be an extension, feel it continue to your leg.  I will walk, you hold your hand like so and you will see it will stop me.”  He demonstrated, helping adjust her stance and arm several times until she was able to repeat the move.

She was proving a quick learner and soon he was showing her how to block punches and throw an attacker off guard.

“Do you wish to stop or have me show you how to stop an attack from behind?” he asked her.

“You are the one that looks like you need the break, not me,” she teased, looking at his shirt covered in sweat.  

Zevran gave her a wicked grin and removed his shirt. “We shall continue then, My Warden.”  Ari felt her breath catch at the sight of him.  His muscles were hard and defined along his torso.  She suddenly was having trouble thinking of anything other than running her tongue along those muscles.  Zevran smirked and raised an eyebrow, clearly reading her mind.  “You wish to stop?”

Ari shook her head.  No, she could do this, he was right, knowing this would help her.  “Let’s continue.”

Zevran stood behind her.  “I will not hurt you, remember, tap my leg if we need to stop.” She nodded, wondering why he was treating her so fragile all of a sudden.  His arm came around her neck, hand on her shoulder and for a moment she felt panic, but closed her eyes and breathed deeply.  Leather and spices invaded her nose and she immediately felt calmer.  

“From this stance, you think the attacker has the advantage, but it is actually yours.” he explained.  She tried hard not to pay attention to how his accent and breath on her ear was affecting her.  He showed her in slow motion how to twist herself in a way that placed her behind him.   Three times, he moved her in slow motion.  Three times of his breath hot on her neck.  Three times of his hand on her hip, of him moving her around.  By the time he suggested she do it for real, she was feeling as if her legs were jelly.

Ari closed her eyes and slowed her breath.  She could do this, don’t get distracted, remember what he showed you, she thought to herself, helping recenter her focus.  “Ready?” He asked.  When she nodded he grabbed around her shoulder, to wrap an arm around her neck.  She moved just as he had shown her, and just as he had said, a split second later it was she that was behind him.

“Good, very good, My Wa…” he stopped speaking as her hands gravitated around his hips to run fingernails teasingly over his well chiseled abdomen.  She heard his breath catch as she pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade, tasting the salt from his sweat.  Zevran turned in her grasp and his hands found the small of her back and pulled her close while at the same moment his lips found hers.  He nibbled her lower lip as she ran her fingernails along his back, not scratching, but eliciting a shiver from him just the same.

He slowly pulled her to the ground, his lips never leaving hers.  She moved on top of him, her kisses leaving his mouth, travelling along his neck and down this chest.  “Ari,” he whispered, “My beautiful Arianna.”

She kissed along his chest as her hands explored lower, running along the abdomen she’d been admiring for the last hour.  She continued moving lower, finally getting to press lips and tongue to those muscles, feeling them tighten in response to her touch.  The taste of salt only enhancing the experience for her.  She could hear his breath quicken, his hand in her hair, lovingly stroking her head as she nibbled his stomach.  The man’s body should be illegal it was so delectable, she thought.

She slid back up his body, tongue licking a path as she went, his hands running along her arms and back, ever moving.  “Arianna,” he moaned quietly as she pressed small bites to his neck.  Her hand reached down, running along the hardness she found there.

“I want to touch you,” she whispered in his ear.

He nodded, “I am yours, mi amor.” He answered her nearly out of breath.  He was so used to being the one in control, the one to take charge when it came to matters of physical pleasure.  With just a few small touches she had done what no other had done to him before, leaving him utterly at her mercy.

With the nimble fingers of a rogue, she untied his laces and slid the front of his breeches down enough to pull his cock out.  The moment she held it in her hands she kissed him, his hand driving into her hair, holding her close.  Arianna ran her fingers along him, alternating between soft and hard tugs, between slow and fast.  Based on the beautiful sounds leaving him, she knew she was touching him just how he wanted.  Zevran tilted his eyes closed, his mouth hung slightly open.  He tried to hold onto control, but her touch, it was like none he’d ever experienced before.

“Ari, bonita, oh My Warden,” he moaned, his voice shaky and full of sin, and she knew at that moment she’d never be able to hear him call her that again without feeling a flutter in her abdomen.

She slid her mouth back to his ear and licked her way up to the point, taking it in her mouth and sucking as she pumped him. His back arched and he moaned her name again, his arm that was around her gripping her hard as she felt something hot and sticky cover her hand.  He turned his head to capture her lips as she pumped his cock a few more times, feeling it start to soften.  His hand touched her cheek as his breathing returned to normal.

“That,” he said with a sigh, “was a perfect way to disarm an attacker.  And it is one I hope you will not use on another or I may have to kill them in a fit of jealousy.”

Ari giggled and gave him a slow kiss full of tongue, pressing her lips to him hard.  When she pulled away, she nodded.  “Deal, I will only use this method on you.”  He grinned and kissed her again before searching out his shirt to clean himself off.

***

By the time they made it back to Redcliffe Zevran had stopped setting up his own tent.  Ari had made it clear that she felt safer if he was nearby, the nightmares coming less frequently with him there.  They never did more than cuddle, but it was fine with Zevran. He had vowed before to help her feel safe, if giving up his own tent, and sleeping every night next to a beautiful woman who had developed a habit of stealing his shirts was the price he had to pay to do it, well then Zevran would be selfless enough to pay that price.

The spell had worked, Morrigan entered the fade, and when she emerged, Conner appeared by all accounts to be unharmed.  Isolde was beside herself with joy.  The next task would be to figure out a way to cure the Arl.  After much discussion amongst the companions, it was decided that while a long shot, looking for Andraste’s ashes was the last hope.  Isolde was generous enough to let them stay a few nights to prepare for the trip, offering them the entire guest wing.  

Ari was currently in the Arl’s study, at Teagan’s request, looking through the papers there to see if she could find any hints of why Jowan had been hired to poison him.  As she dug through the papers, she noticed a delicate chain.  Pulling on it, she found a beautiful locket.  She held it up, watching it spin, and suddenly she realized exactly what it was.  She stood up, ready to head to Alistair’s room, when she saw Teagan enter the room.  She quickly threw the locket in her bag, although not really sure why.

“Have you discovered anything?” he asked, the concern for his brother showing all over his face.

Ari shook her head. “No, but I can’t help but feel somehow everything that’s been happening is all connected.  The attack on my family, Loghain hiring an assassin, and this attack on the Arl.  I just haven’t been able to put it altogether yet.”

Teagan nodded sadly.  “I appreciate it all the same, Lady Cousland.  I came to let you know the rest of your party has gathered for dinner.”

Ari nodded, and rose to join her companions in the dining hall.  When she neared the door, Teagan reached for her hand.  “If I may have the pleasure of escorting you, Teyrna.”

She nodded and placed her hand in the crook of his arm.  He said little during the walk, but she noticed him look at her from the corner of his eye more than once.  He stopped once they were outside the doors to the dining hall.  “I wish you were here under better circumstances.  I would enjoy the chance to talk with you more.” Teagan said, his eyes watching her, a warm smile on his lips.  “Perhaps fate will be kind enough to give me that chance sometime in the future.  I believe your companions await you in there, my lady.”  

“I too wish for better days, Messere,” Ari nodded to him with a smile and entered the room to join her friends.

As the meal ended, Alistair signaled to Ari to follow him to a quiet balcony where they could talk alone.

“I noticed Zevran put his pack in your room,” he said with a raised eyebrow.  “Did something happen?”

The look he gave her made it clear he didn’t approve and Ari decided that for the unity of the party and to avoid a fight with Alistair, she should just give him the edited version.  “He kissed me.”

Alistair let out a sigh, “Of course he did,” he sounded unamused. “How does that translate to staying in your room?”

“I had another nightmare while you were gone.  He helped,” she replied.

“How exactly did he _help_?” Alistair asked.  If that elf had taken advantage of her when she was vulnerable he was going to put an end to him right now.

“It wasn’t like that, Ali,” she tried to calm him, glad she’d chosen to leave details out.  “He just held me.  I told him, he knows about Highever now.”

“Do you think it’s wise? He’s a Crow, Ari.  How can you trust him?” Alistair asked, trying to keep calm.  It was just a kiss, he reminded himself.

“He’s had plenty of opportunities to betray us if he was going to do it.” She decided to try a different strategy and change the subject.  “How about you, was everything ok here after I left?”

Alistair nodded and grinned, “I think Isolde was afraid you might slap her again when you got back. She gave us all a wide berth.  You really didn’t have to do that.”

“I did and I’d do it again.  Ali, all those things they said to you, you know none of that is true.” She took his hand in hers.  “You were a child, not some horrible creature.  You deserved to be cared for, not treated like something stuck on the bottom of their shoe.  I won’t ever tolerate anyone treating you like anything less than the wonderful man you are. You’re my brother and I love you.” She kissed his cheek.

Alistair’s hand squeezed hers and when she sat back she could see tears in his eyes.  “Ali, are you ok?”

“No one….” He took a sigh and looked at her.  “No one’s ever said that to me before.  Ever.”

Ari’s heart squeezed at his admittance.  She grew up never having to question if she was loved, her parents told her every day.  Even Fergus, as much of a brat as he could be sometimes, he even would tell her he loved her.  To have never heard that, to never believe you were loved, that just had to be the worst thing she could imagine.  She decided right then and there that this would no longer be the case for him, that he would always know she loved him.

She touched his cheek, “Well then everyone else is stupid.  I love you, Alistair.  No matter what happens with the blight, you will always and forever be just as much my brother as Fergus is and you will always have a home with us, I swear it.”

She gave him another hug, this time staying in his arms as he held her, knowing he needed to feel the closeness, and cursing Isolde and Eamon and every other adult that had let him down.

***

As they settled into bed for the night, Ari relished how good it felt to be in a Maker forsaken bed for once instead of a bedroll.  She was in her usual bed clothes – which consisted of Zevran’s shirt and her smalls and he was in his night trousers.  He pulled her in close, his lips brushing along her forehead.  “Ahh, I think I shall miss this bed most of all when we leave,” he teased, giving her side a little tickle.

She laughed, and looked up at his face.

“Your fellow Warden did not seem to pleased to see me enter your room tonight.  Are you sure you wish me to stay?  I know it is one thing when it’s just a few of us on the road, but if you would rather avoid a fight with him…”

“Stay, Zev.  It’s not Ali’s business, and if he has something to say, he can talk to me, he knows that.”, as if to indicate the topic was closed, she reached for his chin, pulling it towards her for a kiss.  When the kiss broke, she looked at him with a worried face. “Zev?” she began, he hummed in response against the top of her head. “What does this mean to you, we I mean?”

He looked down at her, “We are whatever you want us to be, I will ask no more of you than you wish to give.” He said, kissing her head again and pulling her close.  “Now go to sleep Ari, we have a long day of annoying Morrigan by continuing to exist tomorrow.”

She laughed, snuggled close to him and smiled as she drifted off to sleep.  She wasn’t sure what they were exactly either, but the fact that the question didn’t cause a panic in him, that in fact he seemed to leave it up to her completely, strangely enough set her at ease.

****

_Lady Ari (I am sorry, I just realized I don’t even know your last name),_

_I hope this letter finds you well.  You left here this evening with your companions, so I assume you will be at Redcliffe by the time this arrives._

_I thank you, dear lady for taking the time to come see me.  I know you and your fellow Wardens are busy with the blight, for you to have even thought to take the time to seek me out, is humbling.  I have been thinking of our talk, and while I’m not ready to talk about what happened, I would enjoy having someone to write to all the same._

_I hope it is not too presumptuous of me to assume that would be acceptable to you.  It would be nice to get mail, as I rarely do. Again, I hope I did not offend._

_Sincerely,_

_Ser Cullen S. Rutherford_

***

_Cullen,_

_No need to be so formal.  You don’t know my last name because I had purposely not given it.  I will tell you, but I ask that you please not tell others, this is mainly for my own safety.  My full name is Arianna Bryce Cousland._

_Yes, THAT Cousland.  I hope now you realize why I kept my identity a secret. I don’t know what you have heard about my family that Arl Howe has been spreading, but they are all lies.  Except that we eat babies, totally true (not really true, templers do have a sense of humor, right?)_

_I am trusting you with this knowledge.  Now that you know who I am, PLEASE stop with all the formality, Maker knows I had enough of that in my youth._

_We are travelling soon, I can’t tell you where, but you can still write me here, they’ll know where to forward your letters to._

_Looking forward to hearing from you soon,_

_Ari_


	8. You Will Always Be Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead.  
> It's my first time writing it, so I hope it's ok
> 
> Feedback PLEASE! Like a virgin, I need to know if I did ok :P

The night after they had left Redcliffe proved to be quiet, _ for once _ , Ari thought with a sigh.  She reached in her bag to get a change of clothing and felt something odd.  Pulling it out, she realized it was the locket she had stuffed in there and then promptly forgotten about.  Alistair was sitting on the log, poking at the fire with a stick, Fiss sitting next to him looking equally as bored.  Sten and Zev were down at the nearby water bathing and the rest of the group was talking with Wynne near her tent.  Now was as good a time as any, she thought.  Walking up to the fire, she smiled when both Ali and Fiss looked up, the taller one smiling to her.  

“You look like you’re up to something, sister” he teased.

She smiled, back.  “Well…..”

“Should I be worried?  What’s behind your back?  Is it cheese, are you bringing me cheese?” Alistair asked sounding excited.

Ari laughed, “Sometimes I think you’re channeling the dog!  No cheese, but just as good.  Do you remember Teagan had asked me to go through Arl Eamon’s papers?”

Ali nodded.

“Well, I found something there, something I think you’ll want.” She pulled the locket out from behind her and held it up, too excited to keep from showing him any longer.

He leapt up immediately, “Ari,” he exclaimed, holding out a shaking hand to take it from her. “Is that…. Is that my mother’s locket?”

“I think so, you tell me. Is it?”

He nodded unable to speak, a lump forming in his mouth. “But how?  It was broken.”

“I don’t know, but I’m guessing he must have gotten it repaired, probably meant for you to have it back sometime.”

He pulled her into a huge hug, lifting her up off the ground, then placed her back down and placed a kiss on her forehead.  “You are the best sister ever!” he replied.  “I’m surprised you remembered.  I’m so used to people not listening to me when I talk.  Ari, thank you, you have no idea what this means.”

She looked down, and then back up with sad eyes. “I know exactly what it means, Ali.  I would do anything to have something from my parents,” she shook her head, willing the tears away, when she looked back she had a small smile. “If I could give you even something small, it makes me happy.”

Alistair nodded, “Ari, I’m an idiot, I wasn’t thinking.”

She shook her head again, “No, it’s fine.  Seeing you this happy, that’s what I wanted.” She watched as he placed the locket around his neck, rubbing it with his thumb.

“Just remember that  _ I’m _ the best sister when we meet Goldanna, ok?” she teased.

“Deal” he laughed.

She picked up her towel, called to Fiss and headed off to the waterside.

Sten was making his way up the hill as she made her way down.  He nodded, “Kadan” he said as he passed.

She sat down on a nearby rock, pulling off her boots, and setting her towel down.  She looked up at the moon and once again hoped that somewhere Fergus was out there doing the same.  She smiled when she heard Zevran call her from the water.

“Are you going to sit up there with the smelly mabari all night, or will you join me in the water?  It is much easier to have someone to wash your back, My Warden.”

She cast her eyes down to the water, where he was standing.  The water only coming up just above his hips.   _ Maker _ she thought,  _ did he purposely pose that way?  He is way too delectable to be sane. _  She nodded, starting to undress.

“Guard my clothes.” She said to Fiss. “Don’t let  _ anyone _ down here, understood?”

Fiss barked to show he would follow her command.

“Good boy, they’ll be an extra treat at dinner for you tomorrow.”

When she turned to head to the water she noticed Zev had swam further out and turned away, perhaps sensing she might be shy, allowing her to enter the water with some privacy.  Once in the water, she made her way out to where he was.  It was still along an edge, but deeper than where he had been standing before, the water to his upper chest here.

When she reached him she put her arms around his neck and kissed him.  It was a slow, sweet kiss.  His hands rested on her lower waist, and she thrilled at feeling his naked body pressed against hers.  Releasing the kiss, he smiled to her, and then reached to the side for the cloth and the small piece of soap they all shared.  Lathering up the cloth, he spoke, “Turn around, mi amor”.  When she gave him a look, he waved the cloth, indicating he meant to wash her back.

She felt him wash her back with the cloth, in small circles.  It released some of the tension she had been carrying all day.  He then pulled her closer.  “Let me know if anything is not ok and I will stop, si?” he whispered in her ear.  She nodded, but was unsure how he expected her to even speak.  Did he not know what that delicious accent did to her, especially when whispered so close in her ear she could feel his breath.

He began cleaning her chest, while one hand was pressed to her stomach to keep her from floating away.  She could feel his arousal on her backside, and couldn’t help but push a little closer.

She could feel him put the cloth behind them, his hand returning again to her front, this time to fondle her breast as he began to kiss down her neck.

“Bonita,” he said. “The rarest of beauties” as he moved his lips to the other side of her neck.  One hand rubbing the nipple of her breast into stiff peaks.  The other wandering down to her core.  Ari was sure she was already wet just from his voice alone.

“Mi amor, you must tell me this is ok, tell me what you want or tell me to stop.  I only want what you want.”

She moaned and pushed herself further back into him.

“You must tell me, I will not risk upsetting you.  Please tell me what you want” he whispered again, in that delicious velvet voice that nearly had her climaxing just from the sound.

“Touch me Zev, please don’t stop” she practically whined, while she rubbed her back against his length, to make her point.

That was all that he needed to hear.  His mouth returned to her neck, nibbling, and biting and licking.  His hand slid to her heat and he began to rub at her clit while the other hand continued to tease at the nipples.  Words of affection pouring from his lips in between kisses.  “So beautiful, so wet for me.”

Ari moaned, her head falling back against his shoulder.  His mouth and hands making her feel like she was melting.  She continued to rub against his length while also pushing into his hand.  One of her hands reached back and ran through his hair while the other grabbed his hip.  He quickened the pace of his fingers on her clit, a warm feeling rushing to her gut.  When he pushed a finger and then another into her, still rubbing her with his thumb that was her undoing.

“Zevran,” she cried out, arching against him.  His hand that had been on her breasts held her across the abdomen.  He continued to pump and rub, kiss and bite while she writhed through to the end.  When she came down, he removed his hand from her, and turned her around to face him.

She immediately threw her arms around him, and pulled him in for another kiss, this one was much more passionate than before.  While she kissed him, he pulled her legs around his waist.  She locked her legs behind him as he looked into her eyes.  “Please” she whispered, and he pushed into her, watching for any sign that she was in pain or having another flashback.  But she kept her eyes on him the whole time, there was no fear in them that he could see, only affection and trust.  After a minute, feeling it was safe, he began to pump his hips, and almost immediately her head fell against his shoulder and she started to moan again.  Zevran slowly turned so that Ari was between him and the rock edge, letting her rest upon a part that jutted out in the water.  He kept his arms on her waist as he continued to thrust into her.

Ari couldn’t remember anything in her life having ever felt so good.  He was filling her in all the best ways.  When he leaned down to take a breast in his mouth while continuing to move inside, her head fell back.  He smiled hearing her moan his name over and over, it had become a mantra.  Feeling that he was nearing the end, he reached down to rub her again.  It didn’t take long at all before he could feel her clench around him, and she bit down on his shoulder and she rode out her orgasm again.  He followed quickly behind, calling out her name into her ear, while leaving small kisses along her cheek and jaw.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled out of her, and chuckled when he heard her whine at the loss of him.  “Shh, mi amor,” he whispered.  “There will be more in the tent if you desire.” 

She nodded, she very much desired.  He put his hand up along her face and caressed her cheek, putting his forehead to her.  “I promise Ari, you will always be safe with me.” He told her, looking into her eyes.  He kissed her softly, and then helped her to the shore where they could head back to the privacy of their tent. 


	9. DEFINITELY the Favorite Sister

It had only been a few years since Ari had been to Denerim, yet it seemed like a lifetime ago to her.  Looking around at the hustle and bustle of people rushing all around, the vendors calling out their wares, she felt as if she were really seeing it for the first time.  Every other time she had been here, it had been to the Palace or the Arl of Denerim’s estate.  She felt like this was the first time she was really  _ seeing  _ the city itself.  She remembered not liking her time at the Arl’s house.  His son always gave her the creeps.  He had never done anything outright wrong, but she definitely picked up enough of a creepo vibe to never want to be in a room alone with him.

They needed to find Brother Genitivi, but didn’t know where to start.  Leliana agreed to use her bard skills to see if she could find out some information.  Wynne wanted to visit the chantry, and Ari wanted to stop by as well, so she agreed to meet back up with Wynne there later.  Sten and Morrigan had stayed at the camp, not wanting to mingle as Morrigan put it.   That left Zevran, her and Alistair to wander together. They needed to get supplies, but first she had promised Ali they’d track down his sister.  As they entered the main square fully he stopped abruptly, nearly causing Ari to run smack into his back.  “Everything ok,” she asked, pushing away from his back, after her hand saved her from a crushed nose.

“I think that’s her house”, he said indicating a small row house.

“Oh.  So are you ready to go talk to her?  Do you want to go alone?” she asked. “We could wait out here if you want.”

He shook his head, “No, I mean yes I’m ready to talk to her, no I don’t want you all to wait here.  I’d rather have you two join me if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Of course, Ali.  Whatever you need,” she gave him a small smile.  As he turned around to walk towards the house, she looked to Zev, hoping he could read her mind enough to know that she was worried this might not turn out like Alistair was hoping.  He apparently could, as he took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

“Eh, hello?” Alistair called out upon entering.

“You need linens washed?” she asked.

“I’m… not here to have any wash done.  My name’s Alistair. I’m… well, this may sound sort of strange but are you Goldanna?.” He looked over to Ari who nodded and pat his arm in reassurance. “If so, I suppose I’m your brother.”

“My what?” the woman asked, “I am Goldanna, yes.  How do you know my name? What kind of tomfoolery are you folks up to?”

“Look our mother, she was a servant in Redcliffe castle…”

“YOU! I knew they lied to me, they told me the babe had died.  It’s all your fault.  She died because of you, left me with no way to support myself…”, the nasty little woman growled at Alistair.

“Ali, we should leave,” Ari said.

“And you, who are you? Some trollop hoping to get his money?  All well for you, A-lis-tair” she said his name with disdain. “You get the money, kingdom, and some red haired tart to follow you around while I have nothing.  Did you just come here to rub my face in it you worthless…”

Right, that was it, Ari was going to smack that woman so hard it’d be a month before she knew her own name again.  She would not abide by what that troll just said about Alistair, much less about her.  She had meant what she said to Alistair, and she was not about to let anyone ever treat him like he was less than again.  Ari started to take a step towards her, when apparently the two men sensed where this was quickly headed, as they each grabbed one of her arms and quickly dragged her out.

“Ok, I can see this was a mistake.  Real treat to meet you, we’ll be just going now,” Alistair called out.

“I’ll tart you, let me go, I’m going to show her a trollop.” She screamed while trying to break free of their grasp.  Dammit, why did she have to travel with such strong men.

Once safely (for Goldanna) outside, Alistair hesitantly let go of her, but held his hands up when she started to make a move towards the door again.  She looked at him and then let a breath out.  “It’s fine” she said, stepping back so he could see it was ok.

“Well,  _ that _ didn’t go as well as I expected. You” he said pointing to Ari, “are  _ definitely  _ the favorite sister!” Alistair tried to sound his usual light self, but Ari could tell he was clearly hurt.

“Ali, I’m sorry.” She said, looking into his eyes, seeing the hurt that was clearly there.  Zevran decided the two of them needed to talk alone, so he let them know he’d meet up with them in the tavern and took off to help Leliana scout for the missing Brother.

“I just can’t believe  _ that _ was the family I’d been dreaming of my whole life.    That was so not worth the wait.” He sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.  He looked down at her and gave her a small smile. “That’s it, she’s not invited to our family picnics!” he winked at her.

“Ali,” she said.  “I’m sorry still.  Some people just are out for themselves and don’t care about anyone else.  I wish she wasn’t one of them”

He reached out and gave her a hug.  “It’s ok,” he said. “As long as I still have you, I have all the family I need.”

She gave him a smile.  “You’re not the only one who needs family, Ali.  I’m grateful for you too”

“Let’s go to the Chantry then, see if maybe you’ll have better luck with your sibling than I did with mine?” Alistair offered, hand on her back.

They gathered Wynne, and despite asking several of the Sisters, it appeared no one had seen or heard from Fergus Cousland since Ostagar.  They left the Chantry with Ari feeling crestfallen, Alistair had his arm around her shoulder to offer comfort and suggested they make their trades and shop so that they could both get over their disappointments of the day.

Ari had already traded in her loot and purchased a new dagger, and bracers.  She had a small amount set aside to treat herself to something frivolous.  She wished Leli was here looking at the Dwarf’s table with her instead of Alistair.  He seemed to have little interest in anything she showed him.   _ Boys _ she thought, rolling her eyes.  Leli would probably suggest shoes, but at least it would be more fun.  Then she saw them.  They were simple enough at first, but when she touched them, she could feel the soft leather. 

“Ser Gorim”, she asked, recalling the name he had given before.  Pointing to the item she desired, “These.  Are they dalish?”

“Aye,” he answered.  “I traded with them a few months back for some supplies they needed.  You have a good eye.  3 Gold and they’re yours”.

Ari knew she only had 2 gold and some copper left.  She felt the disappointment rush in just as quick as the excitement of the find had. “Oh.” She replied, trying to keep her disappointment down. “Thank you ser.”

She made to turn away, only to find the dwarf standing in front of her giving her a strange look.  He leaned in close and then spoke in a low tone to avoid others from hearing.  “Pardon me, Serrah, but by chance are you Lady Cousland?”

Ari paled when he spoke her name, was he here to finish the job of wiping out her family.  The dwarf seemed to sense her apprehension as he held his hands up to show he meant no harm.  “It’s ok, Serrah. I am a friend.  If you are her, your father showed a great kindness to my family years ago.  He helped save my son’s life at a time others would have turned a blind eye.  Are you her?  You look so much like your father.”

Ari nodded, still apprehensive, hand by her blade.  The dwarf continued, “My lady, I never had a chance to repay your father.  And now he’s gone,” he shook his head, “it’s a tragedy what was done.  I don’t believe a word of what they say about them.  My lady,” he said reaching for his wares. “please, take these, I know they are nothing compared to the life of my son, but it would mean so much to know I could repay you in some small way,” placing the gloves in her hand.

“Oh,” she cried out, “Messere, I couldn’t possibly, please, let me give you something for them.”

The merchant pulled his hand up to show he wouldn’t hear of it. “No, my Lady.  Please, use them in good health.”  And with that he turned back around to talk to another buyer looking at his table.

*** 

Dinner was relaxing for the group, having a home cooked meal after almost 10 days on the road was like heaven.  Leliana and Zev had tracked down the Brother’s home, but no one had seen him for over a month, however his assistant was around, so they decided to pay him a visit the next day.  Leliana handed Ari a letter she had received.  It was from Cullen, but Ari had no idea how it had come to be in Leli’s possession.  She just winked when asked and said nothing more.  Ari put it in her pocket to read later.

Ari was practically vibrating in her chair, she was so nervous and excited to show Zev what she had obtained.  She really hoped he would like it.  Once the meal was complete, Ari excused herself, and pulled Zev up by his arm indicating he should follow.  They walked over to a quiet corner where they could talk.

All the while Alistair was keeping a close eye on the two, something Leliana picked up on immediately.  “Alistair, you keep watching her, are you sure that there’s not something more you are feeling?” she asked him, placing a hand on his arm.

He turned to look at her, “What? No, no nothing like that.  I just… I don’t trust him.  I mean this is the same guy who was supposed to kill us a few months ago, now he’s sharing the same tent with her, the two of them whispering secrets.  I just think she’s trusting him too much.”

“She’s a grown woman, Alistair,” Leliana scolded him. “She can make her own decisions.  Let’s play some cards, keep your mind occupied.”  She started dealing without waiting for him to reply.

***

“Gloves? You’re giving me gloves? What for?” Zevran asked, looking at her with confusion on his face, and maybe a little distrust.  Did she think she had to repay him for keeping her safe?  Worse yet, did she think she needed to give him gifts to keep him interested in her? 

“They’re Dalish gloves.” She explained with a huge grin, oblivious to his concerns. “Just like your mother’s”

“I… Maker’s breath, you’re right.  It is like my mother’s” he looked down at them again, rubbing along them with his thumb.

She looked at him, her smile fading, with a wrinkle between the eyebrows. “You don’t like them?” she asked.

“Oh, no no,” he replied, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.  “I appreciate the fact that you even thought of me.  No one has simply… given me a gift before.  Thank you.” He put a hand to her cheek, which she leaned into as he gave her a smile.  He wasn’t sure how to begin to tell her how wonderful this gift was.  That she had even remembered him telling her about his mother’s gloves, and then for her to obtain a pair for no other reason than that she wanted him to be happy.  It was the first time he was given something that didn’t come with a price.  It was the first time he felt himself care for another and not take it as a sign to flee.  That she wanted no more than his own happiness in return, it filled him with a warm feeling he’d not experienced before.

“We should get back over there, before Ali bores holes in us with his eyes,” she laughed, taking his hand.  Zevran leaned down and kissed her on the lips.  It was soft, but he hoped it showed how much he appreciated the gesture.  When he pulled away, he was pretty sure she had gotten the message, as a blush had formed on her cheeks.

They headed back to the table, Leliana dealing them in on the game, and Alistair thankfully seeming to relax once they were both seated there.


	10. Idiot

Ugh, creepy fake assistants are creepy, Ari thought, thinking back to a few days ago when they discovered that the real poor Weylon had been killed by the creepy face assistant. Now they were on their way to Haven, hoping to catch up with the missing Brother Genitivi.  I miss a real bed already, Ari thought.  Three days on the road, and I’m already wishing to have a real bed again, maybe I really am a spoiled noble.

They were near a small village, and while they had just resupplied at Denerim, Bodahn needed a repair to the wagon, which required they head to the village for parts.  Ari and Alistair were sitting alone at the fire, the others all off bathing, talking or, in the case of Morrigan, pouring over the Grimoire.

“So, I’m thinking tomorrow to head to the village, you, me, Zev and Sten.” Ali started, planning to discuss what else they might need while there.

“Of course,” Alistair rolled his eyes, sounding exasperated. “Maker forbid we leave him behind for once.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, honestly confused.  What did Ali have against Sten all of a sudden?  “What does that mean?”

“It means ever since he’s talked his way into your tent, you can’t go off on a mission without him.  Are you afraid to leave him here alone? That maybe he’ll sneak off while we’re gone?” Alistair sniped back.

“WHAT?” Ari yelled out, standing and facing him. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean you trust him too easily.  He just gives you a few glances and you come running.” Alistair was angry, why couldn’t she see the elf was clearly playing a game.

“Oh, and what? I’m some helpless, naïve little girl who needs a big brother to swoop in and save her?  Or _maybe_ you’re jealous and you think it should be you in my tent instead of him?” she was holding her fists to her side, pretty sure there was steam coming from her ears.  “I couldn’t possibly know what I’m doing, I’m just some stupid girl who is being taken advantage of by the big bad Crow, is that it?”

“Maker no, you know I don’t think of you that way, Ari.  This isn’t about jealousy, this is about you believing whatever story he told you to get close.  You are too trusting.” Why was she mad at him? Why couldn’t she see he was speaking the truth.  Why was he yelling back?

Ari stomped her foot and started to turn away, after a few steps, she turned back around.  Alistair was pretty sure she was going to start swinging at him, he took a step back.  “You know what Alistair.  Maybe you should try KISSING a girl first before you start lecturing me on my relationships!!  You know what, you can stay here tomorrow, I’ll take Morrigan instead.  In fact just stay away from me or soon I’ll be the ONLY Warden in Ferelden!” she turned back around and stomped off.  Fiss sat up, gave Alistair a snort and then walked off after his mistress.

When Alistair turned, Leliana was just walking up, not even looking up, just back from her bath.  Alistair reached out, grabbed her face with both of his hands and placed a large kiss on her lips.  Leliana was caught off guard, she stood still, but felt a quake run through her.  Just as suddenly, Alistair pulled back, dropped his hands, and yelled off in the direction that Ari had left in “There, now I kissed one!!  So stop being a spoiled noble and open your eyes!”  he turned and stormed off to his tent, leaving Leliana standing alone, looking in the direction he had walked off in and the one Arianna had, confusion upon her face.

***

Ari stormed into her tent grumbling and pulling off her shoes.

She kicked off her pants and plopped down on the bedroll next to Zevran who handed her his shirt, having learned it just saved time instead of waiting for her steal it later.  “I could hear you two fighting, do you want to talk about it?”

Ari shook her head, “I’d rather not.” She switched out her leathers for his shirt.  “He thinks I’m not capable of making my own decisions and that somehow your cock has magical abilities to turn me into an idiot.”  She laid down next to him, and he sat up on his elbow to look at her.

Zevran chuckled beside her.  “I have received many compliments on it before, but that one is new.”  He kissed her cheek. “Do you wish me to leave the tent?” The last thing he wanted was to be the cause of discontent among the party.

“Do you want to leave?” She asked, suddenly worried that maybe Alistair was right, that Zevran really was just using her for safety.

“No,” he said firmly, surprising even himself with how strongly he felt about that.  He took her hand and pressed a kiss to it.  “I am here because I wish to be.”

That seemed to calm her some as a she gave him a small smile.  “Good, because I want you here.” She placed a hand on his cheek and pressed a kiss to his lips.  “He’s not going with us tomorrow.  I don’t want him anywhere near me.” She rolled over, anger still tight in her chest.  Even when Zevran wrapped an arm around her and moved closer to sleep, she could feel it tumble in her stomach.

***

The next day, true to her word Ari left with the others for the village, not giving even a look in Alistair’s direction.  In fact, she would walk away anytime he started to move towards her.  There was nothing to do at camp but wait for them to return.  Alistair sat on the ground near the fire cleaning his sword and shield.  After a little while, Wynne came over to sit by him, pulling over a log to sit on.

“Well, my dear,” she started, patting him on the arm. “It sounded last night like you and Ari had quite the spat.”

Alistair shook his head.  “I’m sorry if we woke you.”

Wynne shook that off with a wave of her hand.  “You do know why she’s mad at you, don’t you Alistair?”

“Because I insulted her beloved assassin, that’s why.” Alistair grumbled, concentrating on his shield. “Why can’t she see I only care about her safety?”

Wynne took his hand in hers and patted it, causing him to put down his task for now.  As he looked up at her, she shook her head again.  “That’s not it at all.  It has very little, probably nothing at all to do with him actually.  Alistair, she’s upset because you don’t trust her.  You trust her to keep everyone else safe, you trust her to lead us, to plan and strategize, but when it comes to decisions about her own life, you don’t trust her.  She’s angry because she’s a grown woman, but you’re treating her as if she’s a little girl.”

Alistair looked down at his shield.  He realized she was right.  All this time he had been convinced that Zevran was leading her astray, it never entered his mind that maybe she had her eyes wide open the whole time.  He looked back up at Wynne, he was so grateful she had joined their group, she had quickly made herself part of the team, becoming like a mother to the group of orphans the rest of them were.  “Thank you, Wynne.” He said with a smile.

She patted his hand again, then released them getting back up.  “It’s alright Alistair.  I was once young and foolish too you know.” She winked at him. “You just need to decide if you’re smart enough to admit when you’re wrong.  I have faith in you” and with that she walked back to her tent, opening up one of her books to study.

“I doubt you’re smart enough” Morrigan called out from her fire.

***

Leliana was serving dinner, Ari got her bowl, and took it over to sit by Wynne.  Morrigan collected her supper, and then remarked “Idiot” as she passed Alistair.  Zevran and Fiss sat by the fire opposite Alistair, eating their stew and Sten grabbed a bowl and sat down next to Alistair to eat.  Alistair reached out to take his bowl from Leliana.  She shoved it at him and gave him a glare.  “If you want to kiss me, fine.  But don’t _ever_ do it again just to prove a point.” She then took her bowl and went to join Ari and Wynne.

“Maybe you should call Wynne an abomination, then you can have _all_ the women angry at you.” Sten said, looking at his bowl.  “Don’t piss Leliana off when she has to cook again, she burned the stew.” he stood up and walked over to join Morrigan by her fire.

Zevran snorted at Sten’s comment but didn’t look up.

“I suppose you have something to say too,” Alistair said, looking across the fire, having just about enough of everyone being mad at him.

“No, I think they all about covered it.” He replied, finally looking up and placing the nearly empty bowl next to Fiss to let the mabari lick it clean.

Alistair let out a sigh, at least Zevran didn’t seem like he was going to yell at him.  “I suppose you know about our fight then.”

“Yes,” he shook his head.  “I heard all about it, last night, this morning and to the village.” He took out his knife and started to clean it.  “It is you she is angry at, but it is me she is taking it out on.  This, I do not like” he had indicated each of them with the point of his blade.

“So she’s still angry then?” Alistair asked, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“We were attacked today by a small group of Darkspawn.  She punched a Hurlock and called him “Prince stupid”, I believe that was about you.  So yes, I would say she is.” He nodded.  Alistair was looking forlorn.  His best friend, his only family wouldn’t even look at him, all because of his stupid mouth.

Zevran couldn’t help but feel sorry for the man.  He stood up and walked around the fire, Alistair standing as he approached, unsure what was about to happen.  Zevran put his hand on Alistair’s shoulder.  “I will talk to her.  Give her space tonight, but I will ask her to talk to you tomorrow morning.  You will make this right, si?” Alistair nodded. “Good, because sleeping next to an angry woman is not as exciting as it sounds my friend.  She is much less scary when she is happy.”

Alistair nodded again.  “I’ll fix it.”

“Si, si,” Zevran said.  “Alistair.  I do know you two consider each other family.  This is a relationship I try to respect. But understand this, you will stay out of this or I will not be so friendly next time. “ His expression then changed from the warm smile, to something more sinister.  Alistair wondered if this was the last expression his victims had ever seen.  Alistair couldn’t help but gulp.  “And you would do good to remember that whatever discussions have been had about the nature of our relationship are between me and Ari and do not concern you.”  With that he nodded once, and turned to leave, stopping to take Ari’s arm before taking her to their tent to talk.


	11. Andraste's Ashes

Ari sighed, looking at the fire where Alistair was making breakfast. “Are you sure I should do this?”

Zev nodded. “He is unhappy, you are angry.  Then you yell at me, and punch Darkspawn.  And you are clearly unhappy.  Just hear what he has to say.  If you don’t like what he says, you can come back here and we’ll have loud, angry sex.  If you like what he says, we can have loud happy sex.” He waved his eyebrows at her, causing her to laugh and give him a playful shove.  He nudged her towards the fire, and called Fiss over to leave the Wardens to talk in peace, walking away from the camp.

Alistair poked at the dirt with a stick, he could hear her approach, he knew it was her, but he was afraid to look up.  He didn’t want to see that anger in her eyes, or worse yet, that she still wouldn’t look at him.  That hurt more than if she had just punched him.

“Hi,” she said after it was obvious he wasn’t going to say anything.

“Arii’msorryandi’manidiotandimissyou.” He blurted out so quickly she wasn’t fully sure what he had said.

Finally looking up, he saw the look of confusion on her face.  Well, that was better than anger, and she was looking at him.

He took a deep breath and stood up, turning and standing right in front of her.  “Ari, I am so sorry.  I didn’t think before I spoke.  I’m an idiot to think for a second you couldn’t be trusted to make your own decisions about your life.  I never should have said… no, I never should have  _ thought _ those things.  I miss you, I miss my best friend.  Please forgive me.”  He looked in her eyes, hopeful.

She threw her arms around him so quick he stumbled back a few steps, but quickly recovered and hugged her back.  “Of course I forgive you.  I love you Ali, I’m sorry for what I said too.”

They broke from the hug, and sat down on the logs around the fire.  “Ali, did you really think I’d never talk to you again?” she asked.

“Well, you did say something about the last Warden in Ferelden, so yeah.” He nodded, looking at the ground.

“Oh Ali.  Poor Ali.  I’ve said  _ waaaay _ worse to Fergus.  Heck, I’ve  _ done _ worse to him.  That’s what brothers and sisters do,” she shrugged, “We fight worse and dirtier than anyone else, and then we make up, and no matter what, even when angry, we always have each other’s back.  That’s the same with us.  You’re stuck with me no matter what Ali.  Even if we, through some miracle, find Fergus, you’ll always be my big brother.  So you’re just going to have to get used to fighting, because if you haven’t noticed,” she paused to smile at him, “I have a little bit of a temper.”

He snorted at that. “I heard you punched a Hurlock”

“It was a small one.” She shrugged.

“Ari,” he said, suddenly sounding a little concerned. Raising an eyebrow and looking her in the eye. “I think Leliana said I could kiss her.”

*** 

_ Ari --- _

_ See, I can learn.  Yes, templars do have a sense of humor.  We just don’t have much chance to use it. _

_ I thank you for trusting me with your last name.  I should have known when you had told me about your nightmares when you were here.  I wish I could say mine were improving.  I don’t know if it would be better to talk about them, or to try to press them down further.  The lyrium we take helps most nights, but sometimes it’s like I’m right back there.  I swear I can hear my fellow templars screams still.  I can still see the demon, it tempts me in my dreams with things I cannot have, things I should not want, especially as a templar.  Some nights I avoid sleep at all just to keep these visions away. _

_ This massacre has made my resolve stronger.  I now know that all mages need to be watched closely.  That even ones you may think are innocent, will turn to blood magic if given the chance.  I cannot let my brother in arms have died in vain. I will make it my mission now to keep Thedas safe from mages. _

_ I hope this letter finds you, I hope you are as safe as you can given the mission.  Be well my friend, I look forward to your next letter. _

_ -Cullen _

***

Haven was worse than Lothering.  At least in Lothering people weren’t all gathered to try to kill them.  Freaking freaky cultists with their freaky “Move along, nothing to see here”.  Like  _ that’s _ not going to cause people to want to see what there is to see here.  And there was plenty to see, freaking creepy arse mantle with blood on it, that Morrigan just  _ had _ to point out was too much for anyone to live.  Freaking creepy storekeeper with the dead body in the back.  And then the creepy chanters in the group.  Ari had never been so happy to get out of a town than she was when they left Haven with the missing Brother, to head off to look for the ashes.

The trek was cold, something Zev liked to point out to everyone any chance he could.  He said more than once how much he missed the warmth of Antiva.  

They set up camp inside the temple and set up several fires to try to combat the cold.  

“I find I miss Antiva, none of this freezing.” Zevran moved his hand around and then promptly pulled it back into the blanket wrapped around him.

“I could set you on fire to warm you up.” Morrigan offered, earning her a playful poke from Ari.

“Come on,” Ari stood up and took Zevran’s hand, leading him to the tent.

“Bonita, why are we here instead of by the fire?” He shivered.

“There are much better ways to warm up,” she gave him a wicked grin and pulled him down onto the bedroll   He laid on top of her and she pulled his head down for a kiss.

“I am starting to see the benefit of this method,” he smiled, kissing her again as he rolled his hips.

She quietly let out a moan of his name, “Zevran.”

His hand moved between them, and plucked at her laces, loosening her trousers.  He slid his hand in them,  he groaned when he felt she was already wet.  He touched her gently and she arched into him.  “Zevran please,” she pulled at his shoulders.

“So sensitive tonight,” his nose ran along her neck.  “Stay there, mi amor.” She nodded in reply.

Zevran sat up and placed his fingers under her waistband and tugged them down.  She lifted her hips to help him as he removed them from her completely.  He laid down on his stomach and placed her legs over his shoulder, kissing her thigh as he moved up her.  He stopped near the top of her thigh and bit and sucked.  She arched in response, “Zev.”

He leaned back and grinned, seeing her marked where only he would see it made his cock twitch in excitement.  He moved up and kissed her on the clit.  She let out a quiet moan.  Both his hands held her hips down, and his tongue reached out to taste her.  She made the most beautiful noises above him.  He could tell she was trying to be quiet, but the noises she did make were beautiful to his ears.  He pushed his tongue into her, tasting her, his cock hardening in response.  Zevran let go of one of her legs, and reached up to press at her clit with his thumb.  She writhed above him, her hands grabbing hold of his hair and he throbbed in response.

“Zev, please, please Zev,” she moaned trying to keep to a whisper and he continued to lick her and press his thumb on her clit. Her breath quickened and she pulled him closer to her.  He pressed his tongue into her again and she arched, coming into his mouth.  He lapped at her, while reaching a hand down to untie his own laces and pulled himself out.  He sucked on her, lapping as she came, crying out his name, he gave his aching cock a few pumps and then moved up her body, slipping  into her heat when he did.

She wrapped her legs around him as he kissed her, her legs squeezed around him as he took her, his hips moving in and out at a slow, even pace.  She felt hot and wet around him, he’d so rarely wanted a lover more than once, but with her, he couldn’t seem to get enough.  Each time they made love he found himself only wanting more rather than tiring of it.  He wanted to see what new sounds he could get her to make, and to see how many ways he could get her to cry out his name.

He forgot all about the cold, all about everything outside of the tent, he focused completely on the woman beneath him, on the sounds she made and the smell of her.  He felt her twitch around him and tumbled without a chance to hold back.  Zevran pressed his head into her shoulder and came hard into her.  He held his breath as he did, the feel of being inside her so exquisite, so perfect.  “Ari, my Ari.” he moaned as he collapsed on her.  He rolled to his side, and pulled the blankets over them, wrapping his arms around her to hold her to his side.

***

It wasn’t much better once they got to the temple.   _ Are they seriously worshipping a dragon? _ Ari thought.  She gave a quick look to Alistair wondering if he found all this as insane as she did.  The look on his face said he probably did.

Further along they ran into said dragon,  _ Andraste, _ Ari corrected herself with a laugh.  The team quickly moved into position.  Zev switched over to a bow and arrow, and took position on a wall, Morrigan next to him, ready with fire, and Wynne beside her, ready to shoot healing where needed.  Wynne cast a Rock Armor spell on the rest of the party who were starting to surround the beast.

Alistair and Sten moved into position, standing apart from each other, using Taunt to attract the dragon’s attention.  Meanwhile Ari and Leliana began making small cuts along the beasts back legs, darting in and out.  They didn’t bother using poisons, the dragon being too large.  Just cuts, small enough that the beast didn’t notice, but when added up, they could do damage.  After about 10 minutes of the two rogues criss crossing, making their cuts, the two warriors keeping the dragon’s attention the whole time, Zev let loose two arrows, one in each leg, right through the now exposed muscle.  Morrigan lit two more arrows on fire, which he shot, hitting at the same time that Morrigan hit them with a Drain Life spell.

The large beast yelled out a bellow as it’s front legs gave out, but not before knocking Alistair back ten feet, knocking him out.  As soon as it had hit the ground, Leliana helped Ari vault into the air, landing on the dragon’s back.  She ran up its neck, stopping near the head, and promptly stuck her daggers in to the hilt.  The dragon let out a single roar, and fell to its side dead.

The party gathered back around, Ari and Leliana both out of breath.  Sten and Alistair patting each other on the back.  “Someday, my friend”, Leliana said to Ari in between breaths, “I will tell your children about how their mother killed a high dragon.”

Ari tilted her head up and gave Alistair a knowing look.  Neither of them said anything, but the sad expression they both wore said they were thinking the same thing.  They hadn’t told their companions everything about being a Grey Warden, one of which was that the chances of having children was just about nil.  It was one of the many sacrifices a Grey Warden made, along with a shortened life span.  Ari knew she’d most likely never live to see 50, but she tried not to dwell on it.

Rising up, Ari pat Leli on the back, “Let’s move on, see if we can’t get back to the Brother before dark.”

***

The rest of the mission went off without a hitch.  Well except for all the puzzles, traps and having to get naked in front of everyone to get through the magical clothes hating fire.  Two days later they were on their way back down the mountain, with instructions from the Brother on how to use the ashes they had to hopefully cure the Arl.   Alistair was looking more and more worried about it.  Ari did her best to try to reassure him this would almost, surely  definitely work.  They set up camp about a week away from Redcliffe, all tired and achy, but excited to be where there was warm beds soon.


	12. Killing Dragons is Sexy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, smutty chapter.

Zevran and Ari were in their tent, both completely undressed.  She was on her back, him lying on top of her, between her legs, providing random kisses to her cheeks, nose and chin, each one causing a giggle to leave her mouth.  “Have I mentioned how sexy it was watching you kill a dragon?” he asked, another kiss, this time by her ear.

She giggled again, “You may have said it 1 or 7 times, in between complaining about the cold” she teased, wrapping her arms around his back to keep him in place when he pretended like he was going to leave.  She let out a full laugh this time when he collapsed on top of her when she held him in place.  That laugh became a soft hum when he started kissing her neck, alternating with some licks, her hands gripping to his shoulder blades in response.

“Beautiful” he stated, continuing down her chest, “So strong”, taking a breast in the mouth, while massaging the other, he had taken one of her hands in his, fingers intertwined.  She squeezed them as his mouth did so many wonderful things to her.  Her body arching off the ground, pushing into him, feeling him harden along her thigh once again.

He continued his way down her body.  One hand interlaced with hers, the other running along down her stomach, to her legs.  Pressing kisses to her stomach, down to her hips, he continued the list of accolades, “Sexy”, “Enchanting”, “Mine”, “Precious”, and in response to each she squeezed his fingers and tried to move her hips, but he kept those held down with his body.  Her breathing increased, but unlike their first night, this time it was from passion and intensity.

He moved his face down to her apex, and gave a quick lick across her slit.  She immediately arched her back, and threw her free hand to her mouth to stifle her scream.  He squeezed her fingers again and gave a light tug to indicate she should look at him.  When she did, she saw the lust in his eyes. “Mine” he whispered again and attached his mouth to her clit, and began sucking.  His hand that had been running along her leg, came up and he pushed one, then two fingers into her as she cried out, even with the hand in her mouth, she couldn’t muffle the scream much.  She squeezed his hand that held hers, so sure he’d be hurt, but he didn’t pull away.  Instead he continued his torment of her, while she writhed on the ground moaning, and calling out an occasional “Zev”.  Suddenly she felt the pressure building in her abdomen.  He knew, as he increased his assault on her nub while he inserted a third finger.  Seconds later she felt like she was exploding.  Her back arched as far as she could off the ground, she pulled the pillow around to her face and screamed into it.  She could hear his warm chuckle coming from her legs.

He made his way back up her body,  kissing as he went.  Finally she couldn’t take anymore, wrapping her arms under his to pull him up.  He laughed as she pressed her mouth to his.  “So impatient” he chuckled.

“Zev,” she looked into his eyes, but said nothing more.  She stopped herself, knowing if she said the words that were stuck in her throat, he would most likely get up and walk out.  Instead she just stared at him, saying with her eyes what she couldn’t say with her voice.  Instead she rolled them so that she was now on top.

She reached behind her and gave him a few small pumps before sheathing him inside of her.  More than anything else in the world, she loved the feeling of him filling her up. She slowly moved along him, his hands found her hips and he started to direct the rhythm.  She locked eyes with him as they moved, wondering if he could see her feelings for him reflected in her eyes.  Everytime he pulled her back down onto him her abdomen fluttered.  It felt more intense, more, just everything.  Her hands fell on his chest, and he took the opportunity to speed up and reach in deeper.  She alternated between calling out his name and the Maker.  She felt like she never wanted it to end, but soon enough she was reaching her peak again.  Right as she began, she felt him start to fall as well.  He sat up and wrapped her legs around him as he held her hips close to his and kissed her again.

Zevran held her like that, his arms wrapping around her, his head resting on her shoulder as he caught his breath.  Ari wished they could just stay like this, him inside her, connected in the best of ways.  After a minute, he rolled them and pulled out of her as he laid down, pulling her along with him to roll on her side.

“Definitely going to kill more dragons” she sighed as he laughed into her hair.


	13. The Earring and the Man Who Would Be King

_ Cullen – _

_ We’re back at Redcliffe for now, although I expect we’ll be leaving again soon. _

_ I am so sorry and angry for what was done to you.  Know that no matter what, I will support you.  I can understand your anger, I just caution, my friend, that you don’t let that anger turn you into someone who can’t tell the good from the bad. It’s too easy to lump people into a group, and forget they are all individuals.  There are some that would say Templars are cruel, unfeeling brutes, but you, Cullen, you prove that’s not true. _

_ Still no word on my brother.  I asked at several chantries, and towns.  I think it’s becoming clearer that he did not survive.  _ (this part is smudged from wetness)  _ I don’t know if I can bare being the last of my family.  Do you have any brothers or sisters?  I can’t imagine my brother just not being there anymore. _

_ We nearly have all the support we need, the last is the dwarves.  I hear their whole town is underground, can you imagine?  I mean I guess I don’t have to, as I’ll be seeing it soon enough. _

_ Please don’t let the anger take over. _

_ Your friend, _ _  
_ _ Ari _

*** 

A week later they were back in Redcliffe.  The miracle had worked, the Arl would live. Ari couldn’t help but smile at how relieved Alistair looked.  All the stress he had been carrying over the last few weeks left his body the minute that the Arl opened his eyes.  While she still had no love lost over the man, she was glad he lived, just for Alistair’s sake.  Once he was up and around, the Arl was filled in on what he had missed.  He requested a meeting the next evening with Alistair, and for some reason wanted Ari there as well.  Tonight, however, everyone just relaxed, and enjoyed being off the road.

Ari finished up her note to Cullen and placed it aside just as Zevran entered their room.  He smiled at her, and pulled her over to sit on the bed next to him.  He kissed her softly, “Here…it seems an appropriate moment to give this to you, mi amor.” 

He reached into his pocket and placed an earring in her hand. She looked at it, than up to him. “You don’t need to give me anything.” She smiled touching his cheek.

“I may not need to, but I want to.” He smiled at her, closing her hand around it. “I acquired it on my very first job for the Crows. A Ravaini merchant prince, and he was wearing a single, jeweled earring when I killed him.  In fact, that’s about all he was wearing.” He chuckled, wagging an eyebrow. “I thought it was beautiful and took it to mark the occasion. I’ve kept it since…” he looked down and then back up, “ and I’d like you to have it.”

“It’s a fine gift, Zev, thanks” Ari smiled, running her thumb along the earring.  She could tell it meant something to him, and for him to give it to her, she must mean something to him too.  Maybe she was wrong that he’d take off if she told him how she really felt.

“I appreciate you keeping me safe from the Crows, and giving me a chance at a new life.  Feel free to sell it, or wear it… or whatever you’d like with it.  It really is the least I could give you in return.” Zev explained.

Ari’s heart sank.  He thought he had to pay her to keep him safe from the Crows?  He wasn’t giving her this because he loved her, it was because he thought he owed her a debt. “So… not a token of affection then?” she asked, feeling tears threaten to appear.

“I…look just… just take it.”, he looked down, she could tell he was struggling with what to say, “It’s meant a lot to me, but so have…” he paused looking into her eyes, and then back down.   _ Just say it _ she wanted to yell. “so has what you’ve done.”

He then whispered, “Please just take it.”

Ari swallowed.  She wanted to just take it, just pretend it was back like it was thirty minutes ago.  But now, she knew, just knew he felt the same, if only he’d stop being so stubborn and say something.  She couldn’t go back to that.  She decided to call his bluff, hoping it would pay off.  “I’ll only take it if it means something.” She said, placing it back in his hand.  She prayed to the Maker he’d give it back to her and say what she wanted to hear.

Instead he stood up and looked into the fire.  After what seemed like hours to Ari, but was probably only a minute, he turned around.  “You are a  _ very _ frustrating woman to deal with, do you know that?” He started pacing in the room, “We pick up every other bit of treasure we come across, but not this.” He held up the earring. “This you won’t take?”

He stopped pacing, and looked at her, “You don’t want the earring? You don’t get the earring. Very simple.” He bent down and picked up his travel pack, turned and walked out the door slamming it behind him.

Ari sat there on the bed in shock.  At first she wanted to cry, it had all gone so wrong so quickly.  One minute they were sweet and affectionate, and now he had walked out.  Done, that was it.  Then as she sat there, that sorrow quickly turned to anger.  She had been so sure he felt the same, but he left.  She stood up from the bed, grabbed her daggers, and headed out the door.

*** 

Alistair made his way to the training ground to try out a new sword that he had purchased.  When he arrived though, Ari was already there, and by the way she was eviscerating the training dummy, she was pissed.  Alistair  _ really really _ hoped it wasn’t at him.  He steeled himself and walked forward.  When she saw him approach she stopped, turning to look at him, breathing heavy from the exercise.

“Ari?” he asked,. “Did something happen, are you ok?”

She yanked the daggers out of the dummy and turned around.  Alistair quickly regretted the decision to come down here without armor. 

She stalked over to a bench, as she passed she said very coldly, “Zevran will need a room”.

Alistair mouthed “wow” after her back was turned.  He moved to the bench and sat by her,  he saw that she had clearly been crying.

“Don’t say it” Ari said glaring at him. “I don’t want to hear you say ‘I told you so’ right now Ali.”

He held his hands up to show no harm, “I’d never say that Ari. “ he put one hand down taking hers, “I won’t say anything about it at all, I just want to know if you’re ok.”

She sighed, and looked down at their hands and then back up.  She gave him a smile and he wiped her cheek with his thumb when he saw she was crying again.  “You’re getting good at this brother thing you know.”, she told Alistair.  He smiled at her as she leaned into his arm and they stayed like that until it was time to meet with the Arl.

***

Alistair sat on his bed, hands in his lap, staring at the floor.  He’d never thought he’d wish that Eamon was still in a coma, but after that meeting they just had, he did wish exactly that.  It wasn’t fair, this was his life, why didn’t he get a say in it. He felt so alone. He looked up when he heard a light knock at the door.   _ Maker _ , he thought,  _ whoever it is, go away. _

“Ali”, he heard Arianna say as she opened the door slightly peeking in.  “Can I come in?”

He nodded and then stared back at the floor. “Did he send you in here to talk me into it?”

“That’s why he sent me, but that’s not why I came, Ali.” She said, sitting next to him on the bed.  She put her arm around his, taking his hand and leaning on his shoulder.  “I know you care about him, Ali.  But I don’t think he has your best interests at heart.  I can’t prove it, but it feels like he has another agenda.  I came here to find out what  _ you _ want to do.  You tell me what you want and that will be the decision.” She squeezed his hand and hugged his arm to show him he was not alone.

Alistair sighed, and then looked up.  “All my life, I knew who I was, but I was told that the crown was never going to be mine, that I should keep my head down and out of mind or I could lose it.  So now for him to suddenly say I should take the throne, it’s all too much.”

“I can imagine.” Ari said sympathetically. “Let’s just look at the options, and then you and I can decide together, ok?”

He nodded, knowing he wasn’t in this as alone as he thought.

“Ok, option one, Loghain becomes King, the Therin line is done with its reign and a traitor takes over.” She looked at him and they both shook their head together. “Ok, obviously that one’s out.  Option two, Queen Anora takes the throne.  Do we know much about her, besides that she was Calin’s wife?”

Alistair nodded. “Some say she really ran Ferelden, that she was the brains.  But, if she’s in power, Loghain will never pay for betraying the King or the Wardens.”

“Ok, well then, I’m sorry Ali, Option three is you step up.” He tensed. “Ali, you know if that happens you won’t be alone, right.  We’re always going to be family, remember.  I’d help you any way I can.” She squeezed his hand again.

“Ok, you be the Queen, and then you can be the brains in this arrangement,” he smiled at her.

“Sorry, my Prince.,” she answered, “My heart belongs the elf in Sten’s room.” 

“See, you’ve already let your King down,” he smirked at her while they both sat on the bed, staring at the floor.

*** 

Alistair escorted Ari into the dining hall.  They had dressed up for the meal, Alistair dressing fancy for the first time in his life and finding it fairly uncomfortable.  Ari was dressed in a dark red dress that had sleeves the rested past her shoulders, showing off enough skin that Zevran couldn’t help by stare a little.  Alistair sat her between himself and Teagan, on the far side of the table from Zevran.  She was quiet, saying little through most of the meal.  Leliana saw the look of sorrow on her friend’s face and noticed that Zevran was not looking at anyone.  She frowned and looked at Ari again, the heartbreak on her face pretty clear.

“Lady Arianna,” Teagan said to her.  “I wonder if you would do me the honor of a walk around the grounds after dinner?”

Zevran moved around the food on his plate with his fork smirking to himself that the fool Bann thought she’d be interested in his attentions.  She needed adventure, passion, not some aging noble who would only treat her like some delicate flower that needed to be locked away.  She needed someone who could appreciate her spirit, and understand her temper.  This man talking to his Ari, he could never be her strength when she needed it, to understand her fears.  Zevran had seen how ineffective Teagan’s fighting abilities were the first time they had arrived at the castle.  The Bann had been reduced to little more than a puppet, dancing around on a string at the command of the demon in Connor.  That he would think his Ari would have any interest in a fool like him was laughable.

“I’d be delighted, Teagan, thank you,” she nodded, not missing the sound of Zevran’s fork dropping onto his plate.

After the meal was finished, Teagan reached for Arianna’s hand and placed it in the crook of his arm to lead her to the gardens for a walk.  It was early enough that there was still plenty of servants and soldiers moving about as well.  It was for that reason, they didn’t notice they were being followed.

Teagan led them to a bench overlooking the rose garden and sat next to her.  “I don’t think I’ve seen you since the Santalina party in Highever last year.  Until you came to help Connor and Eamon of course.  You look well, my lady.”

“Given that most days I’m hip deep in Darkspawn, I’m flattered,” Ari gave him a kind smile.  She remembered Teagan from several of her family’s gatherings.  He’d always been popular with many of the women in court, although her attentions at the time were on her brother’s friend.  

Teagan chuckled.  “I wish you were around here more often.  Having Isolde keeping out of sight is quite enjoyable.  Did I hear right, you smacked her?”

Ari blushed a little, “That was apparently a very popular move on my part.  I hope you don’t think poorly of me as a result, Messere.”

Teagan picked up her hand and placed a soft kiss to it, “Teagan, please.  And I just wish I had been there to see it.”  He didn’t let go of her hand.  

From the treetop he was sitting in, Zevran felt his gut clench watching the man kiss his Ari’s hand.  He wondered why he cared, why was he even following her?

“If I may be so bold, Teyrna, what are your plans once the blight is over?” Teagan asked her.  “Do you have a suitor?”

“Not anymore,” Ari answered looking down at their hands.

“Then that is his bad luck.  And perhaps my good fortune.  I would like the chance to visit you in Highever when this is settled.  If that would be alright,” he looked at her with soft eyes.

_ No, it’s not alright, I only want one man, but he’s made it clear he doesn’t want the same, that I was just a means to an ends _ , she wanted to say.  But she knew if Zevran didn’t want her, then she needed to follow through with her duty to the people of Ferelden.  As the last remaining Cousland, she would be expected to marry and she could do worse than Teagan.  She nodded, and from where he watched Zevran’s heart clenched.  He wanted to jump down there and rip her hand from the Bann’s.  She belonged with him, this Teagan had no right to her.

Zevran closed his eyes and wondered where these thoughts were coming from.  He had never been with a lover more than once, twice on a few small occasions.  He was always gone too soon for there to be any complications.  Never allowed anyone close enough to experience feelings, and now that he was, he was unsure what to do with the strange emotions of anger and possessiveness running through him.


	14. Letters to a Templar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some back and forth to show the building friendship between Ari and Cullen

_ Ari – _

_ I will say a prayer to the Maker for your brother every night to bring him home safe to you.  I have a brother and two sisters.  I have not seen them since I left at 13 for the Templars, but I still know I would be a mess if I thought they were missing. _

_ I look forward to hearing about the city of the dwarves.  I’ve never really traveled, so your letters telling me about your journey are fascinating.  Perhaps someday I’ll see some other lands.  The Free Marches perhaps, I hear Antiva is beautiful.  Your boyfriend is from there, correct? I picked up an Antivan accent from him. _

_ I thank you for your last letter.  Knowing I’m not alone, even if just in letters, and that there is someone to share with helps immensely. Write back soon and tell me about your adventures.  I never realized how dull the circle could be (not including the blood mage takeover) until I got your letters. _

_ -Cullen _

*** 

_ Cullen –  _

_ He’s Antivan, he’s not my boyfriend anymore, just a stubborn idiot. _

_ \- Ari _

***

_ Ari- _

_ I think you mean a fool, not an idiot.  I don’t know what occurred, but he’s a fool to let you go.  I take that back, he’s an idiot. _

_ Need a Templar to smack him around? _

_ -Cullen _

***

_ Cullen – _

_ You’re sweet, but if you haven’t noticed, I can kick arse all on my own.  Plus I have a friend who was a Templar in training.  I think he’s just waiting for me to give him the ok to smack Zevran. _

_ So, the serious Templar has a family after all.  I bet you were adorable as a child, or were you all business then too?  Did you boss your sisters around like Fergus did with me?  He and his friend Nate used to torment me when we were kids.  I always wanted to do what they were doing, but they would always ditch me, or call me names.  We all grew out of that when we got older (somewhat). _

_ This may be my last letter for a while, we leave in the morning for the dwarves. _

_ \- Ari _

***

_ Ari- _

_ Somehow I can’t picture you taking teasing from your brother and his friend very well.  I imagine you probably gave it right back! _

_ My sister, Mia, is the oldest.  She was the bossy one, not me.  She taught me to play chess, so now everytime I play here, I think of her. _

_ I hope your travels are safe. Tell me if you smack this Zevran, I want a blow by blow.  Did I mention how boring it is here sometimes? _

_ -Cullen _


	15. Not Your Job

They were about a week out from reaching Orzammar, three days from having left Redcliffe.  The party was exhausted, having battled not one, but two hordes of Darkspawn that day.  Leliana, Ari and Morrigan were near Morrigan’s tent.  They were taking turns styling each other’s hair, while laughing.  Any time one of the men came near, it would get conspicuously quiet, and the three would just glare until the offending party was out of earshot again.

“So apparently we’re  _ all _ in the dog house,” Alistair grumbled while cleaning his shield.

Wynne let out a warm laugh and smiled. “Don’t worry about it dear, they’re just doing what young women do when one of their friends has a broken heart.  By tomorrow, you’ll see, it’ll be better.” She then picked back up the book she was reading.

“We are lucky”, Sten said eyeing Alistair. “If they were Qunari women they’d be most likely hitting us all with large sticks.”

Alistair raised an eyebrow and looked at Sten.  “Remind me  _ not _ to make any visits to Par Vollen when I’m king”, he chuckled.

While this conversation was going on, Zevran sat, polishing his armor and blades, looking on occasion to where the women sat.  To the one redhead in particular.  He had offered to polish hers, that had been a disaster.

_ “What are you doing Zevran?” she asked, that she had said his full name, not Zev did not go unnoticed by him. _

_ “Your armor,” he replied.  “I thought to clean it as usual.” _

_ “I can do it myself.” She growled, pulling the helm from his hands and stepping away, anger in her eyes although her face remained neutral.  “If you want to stay, fine, but stop trying to pretend everything is as before.” _

_ “Cleaning your armor will keep it working correctly.” He tried to explain.  Why couldn’t she see he was trying to do something nice?  Why had this made her angry? “I only wish to keep you from being hurt, My Warden.” _

_ “Well then you’re doing a lousy job.  And I’m NOT your Warden anymore.” She snarled at him.   _

_ He had moved to follow her, but Alistair stepped in front of him.  “I think she made it clear she doesn’t want your help. Back off.” _

Alistair, Sten and Fiss left to  the shore of the nearby water to bathe, leaving Wynne and Zev by the fire.  At this point Zev could no longer pretend to be concentrating on polishing anymore.  Having given up that task, he had set everything aside and just stared at the fire.  Wynne moved over to sit on the log next to him.

“How are you doing, my boy?”, she asked with nothing but kindness in her voice.

“Me?  I am fine.  Although, I will not lie, I am looking forward to having the dwarven city to our backs soon.  Being underground starts to make one feel confined after a while.”

He tilted his head towards the witch’s camp again when he heard the ladies laughing.  Ari was reading from a piece of paper.  No doubt another letter from her Templar.  He had read several that she had shared with him in the past.  The were innocent enough, but at that moment, Zevran couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.  Whatever that man had written on the paper had elicited that beautiful sound of laughter from her mouth, just from his written word.  Meanwhile Zevran wasn’t even worthy enough to touch her armor.   He felt uncertain how to get things back to how they had been, to when he felt like part of the party instead of the unwelcome outsider he’d become.

He looked back to the fire before him and said nothing. 

“If you want to say you are fine, I will not argue with you,” Wynne said with sympathy in her voice. “But anyone who has seen how you look over there tonight will tell you that you are fooling no one.  I heard you before Zevran,” she said placing her hand on his shoulder, “You think love is an illusion.  You’re wrong my boy.  If you could see how you look at her, you’d know you are a fool.” She patted her hand gently on his shoulder, getting up and moving to her tent.

Zevran continued to stare at the fire, although his eyes kept finding their way back to the other one.  His whole life he’d been told love was just a game.  Just something that you used to hold power over another.  He was not going to do that, he would not fool Ari into believing love was real, he would not hurt her like that, so he sat there, by the fire alone, not leaving until first light, when he got up to prepare breakfast for the group.

*** 

Zevran walked through the woods hunting for either nugs or pheasant for their meal.  He paused when he heard voices.

“Just breath, here sit down,” he heard Alistair say.

He heard someone trying to catch their breath.  “Everyone,” another deep gasp, “everyone must think I’m so stupid.”  It was his Arianna.  Zevran peeked around the tree he was standing behind.

“Nobody thinks that, I promise.”  Alistair was bent down talking to Ari, his back to Zevran.  At this angle he was able to get a good look at her.  She was crying, what had sounded like gasping was her sobs.  His beautiful rogue was crying.  He pushed back from the tree ready to step out and try to offer her comfort when her next words stopped him.

“I thought,” she let out a sob, “I thought he cared, I thought I meant something. I’m such and idiot.”

She was crying because of  _ him _ .  He had hurt her.  He felt at that moment low.  He never cared before if he’d left behind a broken heart, never even given it a thought.  But seeing her there, her arms around Alistair’s neck, her tears, thinking herself a fool, he was unsure why he felt as if he was in as much pain as her.  It was an odd feeling wanting so much to comfort her and knowing he was the cause of her pain.  He left the Wardens without them knowing he had been there and returned to his hunt to give himself time to understand what these feelings meant.

***

They sat in Tapster’s Tavern around a table, minus Wynne who had long ago gone to bed.   Their party now included a dwarf, Oghren, that had agreed to help them search the Deep Roads in exchange for them helping to find his wife.  She just  _ happened _ to be the Paragon they were looking for in there anyway.

Ari was sitting between Leliana and Alistair, drink in one hand, the other circling her face.   She was about three drinks in, which Alistair knew meant she wasn’t feeling any pain at this point “Seriously Alistair, tell me the truth, do I have ‘Kingmaker’ tattooed on my face?  Did someone stick a note on my back that said ‘Ask me who should rule your kingdom?”

Alistair took a drink, to hide his laugh, and shook his head.  “I guess you just have that trustworthy look about you.”

“Is this my new career? Sten, what about you?  Should I return with you and decide your new king too?” she asked looking at him.

“Arishok”, he answered.

“Did you sneeze?” she asked, and then burst into laughter at herself.

Sten just shook his head with a smile but did not reply.

The cards came out, and they all started to play, Ari kept resting her head along Leliana’s shoulder, Leliana having to push it back up and telling her to stop trying to look at her cards.  The game continued and Alistair watched his friend, his heart happy every time she laughed, he was glad to see that Wynne had been right.  After about the fourth hand Ari threw in her cards.

“Ok, I’m out, can’t see the pictures straight anymore, and Leli won’t let me cheat,” she winked at her friend.  “I’m off.  Ali, we’ll meet in the morning to plan our excursion.”

Zevran started to rise out of his chair, “It is not safe, with the Carta out.  I will escort you, My Warden” he said.

“I’m  _ not _ your Warden,” Ari growled and leaned against Alistair, clearly feeling the effect of the alcohol.  

Leliana sensed this was not going to end well, so she stood and took Ari’s arm.  “Zev’s right,” she answered, continuing when she saw the look of shock on her friend’s face. “He’s right about it not being safe.  But I’ll walk with you, you should stay, Zev.” She said pointedly to the elf who sat back down, but was clearly not happy about it, watching the two women leave.

Alistair said nothing during the exchange, he had started to get up, but quickly sat back down when he saw Leliana shake her head to indicate it would not help matters.  The cards were dealt again, Zevran noticed that Morrigan was looking him over but had said nothing.  

After several minutes he couldn’t take it, “What? Why do you stare?” he asked her.

“I’m trying to decide if you should be a toad or a snake.” She said matter of factly, causing Alistair to nearly spit out his beer, which earned him a look of disgust from Oghren.  “There was quite the debate about it the other night.  I’ve made my decision, I think I’ll let them know which” She put down her cards and walked out to catch up to the others

Zevran said nothing, but looked back at his cards.  Well now he knew what the women were talking about up at the fire.

“Women,” Oghren snorted, and then downed his ale. “If you piss off one, you best hide, they’ll all pull out the claws and scratch you.  You do anything special to earn their ire, or are you just the nearest target?”

“Ari and I had a disagreement.” He said, feeling he didn’t owe this newcomer more information.  He couldn’t avoid noticing the look he was getting from Alistair sitting across from him though.  He said nothing, but raised an eyebrow at him, almost daring the Warden to speak.

“Broke her heart is what you mean.” Alistair corrected him.  “Although it is nice not to be the one Morrigan’s threatening to turn into a toad for once.” 

Zevran slammed his cards down, and stood up, leaning over the table “I believe you were told to stay out of it.”

“That was before.” Alistair said, calmly, but anger clear in his eyes. He stood and leaned in as well, he all but growled at Zevran when he spoke next.  “You used her, and then when you got bored you tossed her away.  Treated her like she was nothing at all.”

Oghren and Sten, sat in silence, drinking their ales, eyes moving back and forth between the two.  Oghren had no idea what was going on, but this was the most excitement he’d seen in weeks, and he wasn’t going to miss a second.

“You should hold your tongue,  _ Warden _ ” Zevran snarled, hissing when he said ‘Warden’

“She trusted you with her past, and you used that to get into her tent.” Alistair threw back at him.

Zevran yelled at Alistair, “How dare you!  That is not true and she knows that.”

“Does she?” asked Alistair, glaring at him. “If you wanted her protection, you only had to ask.  You didn’t have to use her to get it.  The only reason you are not an elf shaped splat right now is because she asked me not to hurt you.  You are only still in the party because she allows it.”

Just like that, all the anger in Zevran dissipated.  He crumpled down into his chair.  She didn’t honestly think that, did she?

***

_ Cullen – _

_ I have an amazing opportunity for you.  How would YOU like to be KING of Orzammar? Just think about it.  There’s no mages among the dwarves, so you wouldn’t have to watch over anyone.  You’d be King, so they’d provide you entertainment, food, fun, laughter! _

_ I think you’d be great, everyone here would really look up to you. _

_ We’re off to the deep roads, so you won’t hear from me for at least three weeks. _

_ \- Ari _

_ *** _

_ Ari – _

_ That was a horrible horrible joke and you should be very ashamed of yourself for that.  I believe a joke like that could bring dishonor to your ancestors.  You should go to the Chantry and beg Andraste for forgiveness for subjugating this poor Templar to the cruelty that was that joke. _

_ Be safe my friend.  I will worry until I hear from you again. _

_ -Cullen _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am pretty sure the Arishok isn't necessarily their king, but I was too lazy to research what would be.


	16. Traitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter, I didn't like the flow of it before

Zevran shot up in his bed when he heard her scream.  Instinct had him bolting out of bed to make his way to her.  He stopped when he opened the door to the hall in time to see Alistair enter her room.  He closed the door and leaned his head against it.  He’d forgotten he was no longer welcome there, he was no longer the one that kept the nightmares at bay.  

He moved back to the bed, unable to return to sleep he laid down and stared at the ceiling.   _She trusted you._ Love was just a game, that’s what they had taught him.  A trick to use to get trust, to get close to the target.   _You used her._ But if not love, what was it he was feeling?  Why did it feel so good but hurt so much at the same time when he looked at her now?  Why did it feel like a piece of himself was missing.   _I’m not your Warden._  Why was it killing him not to be able to just touch her, feel her in his arms? _I thought I meant something._    If this wasn’t love, then why couldn’t he just walk away, leave the Wardens to their task? _She trusted you._  He stayed up all night, staring at the ceiling, unable to find peace.

***  

They were near the entrance of the Deep Roads preparing to enter.  Ari, Alistair, Wynne, Morrigan, and Oghren were preparing to head into the cavern, Sten was outside the gates of Orzamarr listening for rumors that could help them to take on Loghain.  Zevran, Leliana and Fiss were to stay in town.

“I should be going,” Zevran was trying to make an argument for her to bring him.  He was afraid that something would happen and he wouldn’t be there to protect her.  He wanted to show her he could be trusted. “Please don’t keep me away because…”

Ari rubbed the bridge of her nose and shook her head. “Look, I need you and Leli here.  You’re the best rogues I know.  I need you both to keep your ears and eyes open, so that when we get back you two can tell me which of these idiots I should make king.”

“Ari,” he said, pulling her gently away from the others, aware that Alistair was keeping a close eye on him the whole time.  “Leliana can do that without me,” he ran his hand up her arm, looking into her eyes.  He could see them softening, he had hope he was breaking through, “Please, let me go with you.”

“Zev,” she looked down and took a deep breath. When she looked back up, her eyes were colder, and her voice stern “Just stay, do what I need you to do.  If you come, you’ll be a distraction, and that could get all of us killed.  I need time away from you, and maybe you should use it to think about what you really want.”

She turned, walking to the group before he could answer, and they followed her into the cave, swallowed by the darkness.  Zevran stood there watching until he couldn’t see them anymore.  She thought he was a distraction.  He had been her protector, he had promised to keep her safe, and now she was going to the most dangerous place he could think of and she was leaving him behind.  

Fiss was by his side, he watched the elf.  This elf made his mistress cry, he wondered if Mistress would be happy or angry if he bit the elf.  He’d have to think about that.  He needed to make  sure the elf knew that Fiss was not happy with him, he made his mistress cry.  Fiss huffed at Zevran and walked off.

When Zevran turned around, Leliana was standing there.   She was so quiet he didn’t even know she had come up behind him.  She shook her head and spoke, “You’re an idiot.  Everyone can see how you feel except you and her.  If you had just told her you’d be going down there with her right now.” she turned and walked off, following the mabari.  

***

Ari wasn’t surprised that the Deep Roads were miserable, but she was shocked with just how bad, and how much it affected her _._  Darkspawn were everywhere, it seemed you couldn’t go two hours without running into more.  The proximity of those Darkspawn set her Warden senses on overdrive, making her feel on edge all the time.  The only comfort was knowing that Alistair felt the same, so she was not in this alone.

The agitation affected them both differently.  For Alistair, it caused him and Morrigan to bicker constantly.  

To the point where one day Ari stopped mid-stride and just looked at the two of them, “Would you just screw already?  Andrastes arse you two!”  Oghren laughed loudly, this group was turning out to be way more interesting than he had initially thought.  Alistair and Morrigan looked horrified, and moved as far away from each other as they could, him walking up by Ari and Oghren, while Morrigan took the rear, behind Wynne.

For Ari, the agitation from having the Darkspawn so close meant that her her nightmares were now nightly, or what she assumed was night, it was impossible to tell in the Deep Roads when it was night or day.  For months, when Zevran was with her, the nightmares were all but gone, a distant memory.  But here in the Deep Roads, they tormented her, replaying that night over and over, never able to escape.  Between that and the Darkspawn, she felt like she was on pins and needles. It had gotten to the point where Alistair just started staying in her tent, figuring it would save time, since he’d just end up there anyway, and with so many Darkspawn around, having her screaming could bring the creatures running to them.

This particular “night” sleep seemed to allude her altogether as she twisted and turned on the bedroll.  She felt guilty since she knew she was keeping Alistair from sleep as well.  He finally leaned up on his side and rested on his elbow while looking down at her.

“So, are you going to talk about it, or are we going to spend three more weeks pretending that I don’t know what’s really going on?” he asked in a low tone so as not to wake the rest of the camp.

She looked up at him and scrunched her nose, “It’s just Highever, you know that.”

“Riii-ght,” he said rolling his eyes. “You know you have a tell right?  It’s why you always lose at Wicked Grace.  You scrunch your nose, like you’re doing right now.” He touched his finger to her nose as if to emphasize his point.  “This has nothing at all to do with a certain Antivan at all?  You’re a terrible liar, Ari.”

She leaned up so that now she was mirroring him.  “I just…. Maker, you were right. I should have just listened to you from the start and stayed away.  It didn’t occur to me that he knew just how to break down my defenses to get what he wanted.  You’re probably loving that you’re right.”

Alistair shook his head.  “I take no joy in seeing my best friend have her heart broken.  And I’m not so sure I _was_ right.”

Ali raised an eyebrow, “What?  He did exactly what you said he would.”

Alistair shook his head again, “No, not really.  I know he hurt you, but I don’t think… I don’t think he left because he was using you and just didn’t want you anymore.  I thought that before, but I saw how he was looking at you as we were leaving.  He looked scared for you.  I think maybe he left because he was afraid.”

“Afraid?” she asked.

He nodded, “Yes, afraid of how he feels about you.  Maker, you really don’t see how he looks at you?”

Ari shook her head.  What was Alistair saying?  She was sure he would have taken this opportunity to list all of Zevran’s bad traits, to finally have him ousted from the group.  Instead he seemed to be almost pleading the man’s case.

“Ari, he’s crazy about you.  You couldn’t see how terrified he was before we left?  I thought for sure he’d change your mind, I was pretty sure he was going to try to kiss you to convince you.  He’s just being too much of an idiot to push past the fear.  I think… I don’t know.  I know I have no experience in this, I just know that maybe you shouldn’t give up just yet.  I might be wrong, but I don’t think I am.”

Ari just stared at Alistair for a minute.  “Maker,” she whispered in shock, “when did you become so bloody insightful?”

Alistair chuckled laying back down. “I think it was around the time you decided to make me king.”  He pulled her into her arms, “Now try to get some sleep sister.”

****

Zevran sat on the edge of the  bed and stretched.  They’d been gone nearly three weeks.  He spent his days doing odd jobs around town to earn some coin while keeping his ears open for rumors.  In the evenings he and Leliana would have dinner together and discuss what each had found.  Then they’d usually play cards and try not to talk about the worry clearly on the other’s face about their companions in the Deep Roads.  They’d retire to bed late, and wake up the next day to repeat the routine.

Would he and the others know if something happened to them in the Deep Roads?  His stomach clenched at the thought.  He put his hands over his eyes and took a deep breath.  She’d be ok, he told himself.  She would come back and he would figure out some way to fix this.  He bent over and picked up his shirt from the floor to put it on, making a face of disgust and glaring at Fiss who was sleeping along the wall.  Every damn day he’d woken up to find that dog had pissed on something of his.  He’d tried to get the mabari to sleep in Leliana’s room instead, but despite the pissing, the dog seemed to want to stay close to Zevran.  He wondered if the dog had picked up on the fact that he missed Ari as much as Fiss did.

He sat down at the table, joining Leliana for breakfast.

“You look like crap.  Have you even slept?” she asked him.

“Apparently long enough for the dog to pee.” Zevran replied tossing a piece of meat to the mabari.  

Leliana chuckled in response.  “I’m worried about them too.  Alistair won’t let anything happen to her.”

Zevran nodded and sighed.  “Unless something happens to him.  I worry that something will happen before I have a chance to set things right with Arianna.”

“Have you decided then what you will say to her then?” She asked.

Zevran shook his head.  “I have no experience in these type of things.  I know an apology is insufficient, but beyond that I am uncertain.”

“You need to figure out how you feel about her, and then _tell_ her.  Don’t leave her guessing.  If you don’t want something more from her tell her gently.” Leliana found herself feeling bad for the man.  It was clear to see that he was torn up about where things stood.

“How do I show her I’m sorry?  Should I return the gloves she gave me?”

“Maker, no.  That’s a horrible idea.  If you do that you’ll just break her heart more.  She gave you those because she cares about you.  Returning those is the same as telling her you are rejecting her completely, even as a friend.”

“How should I know what it is I want?” Zevran asked her quietly.

“I can’t tell you that Zevran, you need to figure that out for yourself.  I’m sure you’ve noticed that she caught Teagan Guerrin’s eye.  How would you feel if she married him?  That should tell you your answer.” Leliana suggested.

Zevran sighed.  He wasn’t sure he believed it could really be fixed as easily as just talking to her.  Perhaps Leliana could help him figure out the right words to say.  She seemed to be more knowledgeable at things like this than him.

****

They’d found Oghren’s wife, and, surprise surprise, she was fairly insane.  But in the end, they got what they had come for – a crown from Caridin, and they were mercifully on their way out.  It had been nearly 25 days already, all Ari could think was how nice it would be to get back and have a nice soak in a bath.  She missed Fiss, she missed seeing a sky, she missed being able to sleep through the night.  And as much as she tried to deny it, in her heart she knew she missed him too, but she wasn’t so certain that Alistair was right.  She had a feeling Zevran might be gone before they returned.

***

Zevran walked near the market stalls, he’d found it was a good source to hear the gossip of the town, while pretending to look through other merchandise.  It had been over a month since the party had entered the Deep Roads.  He started to worry that something had happened.  He knew he should have been there in the Deep Roads with them, he thought as he looked at a dagger she might have liked.  He should have insisted harder, she could be lying injured, dead, all because he wasn’t there to protect her.  He ran his fingers over a blue silk scarf.  She could be gone, and he hadn’t had the chance to set things right.  He was looking at a bracelet, simple yet elegant, gold in color.  He picked it up and looked at it closer.  She would like this.  She had to come back, right?  

Fiss was lying at his feet while he was looking at the stall.  After the first few weeks, in which Zevran kept finding his belongings either peed on or shredded the two seemed to have come to an accord, and so now they worried together.  Fiss huffed, when his ears suddenly rose up, followed by the rest of him. He barked once and took off in a run.  Zevran flipped a coin at the merchant and took off after the dog, letting out a whistle as he did, knowing Leliana would hear it and follow.

He felt all the tension leave his body the minute he saw them.  They looked dirty, skinnier, and Alistair had a new scar on his chin, but they were alive.  They walked in the direction of where he and Leliana sat, waiting.  Ari stopped and bent down when Fiss barked and ran to his mistress.  She threw her arms around the mabari, laughing and scratching his ears.

“Hi boy,” she laughed as Fiss lapped at her face.  “Did you miss me, boy?  I missed you too.”

She stood,  Fiss jumping all around her.  She and Morrigan continued on their path.  She threw the crown to Leliana.  “You two can fill me in later.  I need a Maker forsaken bath” she smiled, walking off to the inn.

Morrigan whispered something to Leliana, whose eyes darted to Zevran, and then walked off as well.  Zevran turned and followed, hoping it wasn’t too late.

Alistair appeared to be waiting for him at the door to the inn.  Zevran steeled himself for the fight he was sure was coming.  Alistair looked at the elf as if sizing him up.  “If I get you a chance to fix things are you going to do right by her, or are you going to just break her heart again?  And be honest with me, because if you lie and use her again, I don’t care what she says, I _will_ pummel you.”

Zevran nodded, “I would like very much for her to listen to what I have to say.  The decision of what to do from there is up to her.”

Alistair stayed where he was, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.  He was looking at Zevran, clearly trying to decide if he should trust the elf or not.  “Very well, give it two hours and then come to her room.  I’ll see what I can do.”

Zevran nodded, feeling grateful and incredibly nervous at the same time, knowing this was his one and only chance.

***

Two hours later he was knocking at her door.  He heard talking, and then she was there, leaning against the door. Her hair was still wet from the bath. She let out a small sigh, “Zevran, I know I said I wanted an update, but really, can’t it wait until morning?  I haven’t had real food in a month, or slept in a real bed.”

Zevran smiled, and held up a tray filled with meats, cheeses, some fruit and bread.  “I didn’t come to discuss the dwarves.  Please, I just… I’d like to talk.”

She looked back into her room to look at whoever was there, then turned back around to face him and stepped to the side, holding her arm out to show he could enter.  He knew he shouldn’t have been surprised to find Alistair there, but it stung just the same.  It hurt that he had time with Ari the past month that Zevran had not.  That he was who comforted her when she had her nightmares, not Zevran.  And now it was he that was sitting there on the couch, welcome in her room, while he had to bribe his way in with food.  Maybe he was too late, he worried, perhaps the other Warden had just set him up so that he could rub it in Zevran’s face that Ari was with him now.  He knew he’d deserve it if that was the truth.

“Ooo, he brought cheese,” Alistair cried out, standing to make his way to the food Zevran had brought in.  “Thanks” he said with a wink, popping some cheese into his mouth with a grin.

“Traitor,” Ari said, narrowing her eyes at Alistair.

He shrugged, took another two pieces of cheese with him and walked out the door with a wave, “I think maybe you two should talk.  Zevran looks like he has something to say.”  

Ari watched him leave, debating how much to beat his ass for the obvious set up.   Alistair had promised to help her through her broken heart, to keep Zevran at a distance.  And then the traitor left the second Zevran showed up with cheese.


	17. Please Forgive Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote the last chapter, the over all is the same, but I didn't like how it flowed, and it was missing some things, please reread it (or lie and tell me you did, lol)  
> Some more stealing of game dialog below :p

Ari looked to the door Alistair had just left through for a second, half wondering if she could flee too, and then decided against it.  She looked back at Zevran and then motioned for him to take a seat on the couch.  She sat too, but as far away as possible.  She was warring with herself.  Part of her just wanted to punch his stupid face.  Tell him that he had broken her heart, and that he should just leave forever and stop tormenting her.  The other half wanted to jump in his lap, shower him with kisses and beg for it to be like it was before.  She wasn’t sure which half would win out, so for now she thought it was safest to keep her distance.

He still hadn’t said anything, he was looking at the fire, and fidgeting with something in his pocket.  Ari rolled her eyes, “You said you wanted to talk.  You have to actually say something.  Otherwise just go, I’m tired.”  _ Don’t go!! _

“Ari… I… Alistair…” he ran his hand over his face and tried again. “I do not want you to think I was using you. Al..I was told that perhaps you thought I had manipulated your past, to trick you.  That is not true, I didn’t mean to hurt you Ari, but that is exactly what I did.  I said I’d keep you safe, and then it was I that caused you the most hurt.  I am sorry.”

He looked at her the whole time, hoping to see some indication that he was breaking through.  

“What changed?  Why did you end things.  You didn’t even try to talk to me, you just walked out the door and left me,” her voice got quiet then, almost a whisper, “alone.”

“I…no, this….I was acting like a child, I realize.  I apologize.  Let me try to explain.” She was letting him talk, that was a good sign, she hadn’t kicked him out yet. “An assassin… must learn to forget about sentiment.  It is dangerous.  You take your pleasures where you can when life is good.  To expect anything more would be reckless.”

He looked at her again to see if she was getting what he was trying to say.  She was focused on him, the tension she had in her shoulders seemed to be gone.  All good signs, he thought.  She’s less likely now to start breaking noses.

“At first, I thought it was the same between us.  Something to enjoy,  a pleasant diversion and little more.” He could see the hurt start to appear in her eyes again and realized he better quicken up his explanation. “And yet that was not the case… Ari… I…I’m..” he looked down again.

“Are you saying you’re in love with me?” she asked, trying to keep from sounding too hopeful.

“I don’t know.  How would you know such a thing?  I grew up amongst those who sold the illusion of love, and then I was trained to make my heart cold in favor of the kill.  Everything I have been taught says what I feel for you is wrong.” He looked down again, wiping the back of his neck with his hand.  When he looked up, he took her hand and held her gaze.  “Yet I cannot help it.  When I look at you, I feel confused.  It fills me with joy to look at you, but it hurts just the same, to know you are angry at me.  The whole time you were gone in the Deep Roads, it felt…. It felt like I was not whole, as if part of me was down there with you.  Do you understand me at all?”

She looked at his hand holding hers, but didn’t take hers away, didn’t want to.  “I’m not any wiser than you at this, Zev.”

He moved closer to her on the couch, taking her cheek in his hand, and when he felt her press into in, his heart soared.  “All I need to know,” he said, looking into her eyes again, “is if there might be some future for us, some possibility of… I do not know what.”

“I don’t know Zev.  I can’t just forget how you hurt me.  I need to think about this” she looked at him and then down to their hands again.  He removed his hand from her face and reached into his pocket.

“I…still have the earring.  I would like to give it to you… as a token of affection.  Will you take it?” he asked, holding his breath.

She nodded, and he turned her hand over that he had been holding, and placed it in hers. He then closed her hand around it.  “Please think on what I said.  I will wait for your answer as long as I need.”  He then leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek, stood and left the room, giving her a final look before he left.

Once in the hall, he leaned against the wall.  That had gone better than he hoped.  He only wished he could fast forward to where she had decided.  The wait would be agony.  He was jostled from his thoughts when he heard Alistair’s voice from where he stood, unnoticed, down the hall.  “Well, you’re exiting without any broken bones. I’d say that’s a good sign.  What did she say?” 

“She said she needed to think.  I suppose that is the best I could hope for.  I thank you for the chance.” Zevran looked at Alistair and sighed.  The Warden nodded at him and went into his room.

*** 

Ari sat on the couch, looking at the earring in her hand for who knew how long.  She was thinking back to what he had said.  It all made sense, especially knowing what she did about his past.  And it made sense with what Alistair had been telling her.  But she still wasn’t sure if she could trust herself to know what was the right thing to do.  She needed some advice.  She knew Ali would be waiting in his room for her to tell him what was said, and as much as she loved him, he just didn’t have any experience when it came to love.  Heck, she thought.  He couldn’t even tell Leli that he wanted to kiss her again, but was terrified, even though she had told him it was ok.  Leli, Ari thought.  Leli would definitely help.  She got up, Fiss rising with her.  “Go see Ali,” she said, sending the mabari on his way.  She then walked down the hall to Leli’s room, knocking once, and then entering.

***

It had been a few hours since he had left her room.  Zevran paced in his.  He felt a flutter of excitement when he had heard her open her door, but then she never appeared at his door, and disappointment took over.  The longer she was gone the more he fretted.  She had probably gone to see her fellow Warden.  Was he telling her all the reasons to stay away?  No, he was sure that was not the case, after all Alistair had left them alone almost the minute Zevran had appeared.

He sat at the chair near his fire, head in his hand.  Was it beyond saving? Had he destroyed the first, maybe only chance for happiness? Then there was a knock on the door.  “Zev?” he heard her call him from the other side.

That door was suddenly the most terrifying object Zevran could imagine.  On the other side of it either sat his salvation or his heartbreak, and he honestly had no inkling which.  Another knock.  He realized quickly that he better answer, or she’d leave, he rushed to the door, took a deep breath and opened it.

_ Maker _ , he thought _ , she still takes my breath away _ .  She was standing before him, her hair in an intricate braid that quickly told him she’d been with Leliana, not Alistair.  Instead of the night clothes she had before, she was wearing a tan dress that was simple, yet cut in just enough to show the hint of curves.  She stepped around him to enter his room.  He just continued to look at her, his eyes moving up and down her body, but afraid to touch.  She walked around him as he closed the door, and then pushed herself so she was between him and the door.  He could smell her, lavender was what he thought of.  He gulped and looked down to her.  That’s when he noticed the earring in her ear, a simple gold loop, but to him it looked like the most precious jewel in the world.

“Zev,” she said, just above a whisper. “Do. You. Love. Me?” she asked, emphasizing each word.

He nodded.

“You have to say it.” She said, still just as soft.

“Ari,” the back of his hand coming up to run along her cheek, while his other lay against the door, near her head.  He leaned in closer. “No one has ever made me feel as dizzy, and terrified, and happy all at the same time as you do.  I love you.” And with that final declaration her lips met his, and she threw her arms around his shoulders and held him there.

Zevran couldn’t believe it, she was here, he could taste her lips, those wonderful, amazing lips were kissing him.  His hands came to rest on her waist for a moment, before circling behind her.  His arms had felt so empty without her, and now here she was, back in them.  He vowed to himself that he would never let her go another day without knowing how much she belonged in his arms.  How much his lips missed hers.

He lifted her in his arms and started carrying her towards his bed, determined to start showing her just that right now. 


	18. On the Way to Denerim

Ari awoke slowly, her brain registering touch and smell while her eyes were still closed, not really awake yet.  She could feel arms wrapped around her, a man’s chest under her cheek, the feel of him breathing slowly, still asleep.  The smell of him filled her nose and she couldn’t help but smile, still not fully awake.  She opened her eyes, and sighed.  His naked chest was the first thing she saw.  Her eyes began to focus, his tattoos coming into her line of vision.

She leaned back and watched him sleeping.  His arms remained wrapped around her, as if afraid she might slip away if he did not, even in sleep, he was wanting her close.  He looked at peace, all the worries from the day seemed to have faded away.  Even more, he looked happy.  She had watched him sleeping before, but this was the first time she could remember seeing him look so happy while asleep.  

He had told her he loved her!  Not only once, but throughout the night.  It was as if now that he had allowed himself to admit it, he couldn’t keep from having it fall from his lips over and over.  And she did not mind, hearing it, knowing just how much it took for him to even say those three words, made them so precious to her.  She wanted to gather them up, protect them, keep them safe.  He was so beautiful, she thought while watching him sleep.  So alluring, no wonder the Crows hadn’t wanted to let him go.  But he was hers now, he’d declared so last night.

“You are staring,” he said, his voice rough from sleep, his eyes still closed.

“I can’t help it, you are nice to look at,” she answered him.  

A grin crossed his face as he opened his eyes. His hand reached out to touch her cheek.  “I think it is I that has the better view, my Ari.”

She leaned up and kissed him softly as his hand played with her hair.  His other remained resting on the small of her back.

“I have a gift for you,” he kissed her nose and reached over the side of the bed to dig through his pack.

***

When he joined the group for breakfast the next morning, Alistair couldn’t help but smile, seeing Ari sitting next to Zevran, with his arm around her.  She had the largest grin he had seen on her in months.  He quickly noted the earring in her ear, and even though he’d never seen it before, he was pretty sure that was the one she had told him about long ago in Redcliffe.  He also noticed a bracelet that hadn’t been on her wrist the day before.  He assumed that had also came from the elf, and he warmed slightly to the man then, pleased to see that from all appearance, Zevran was already starting to treat Ari with open affection.  Alistair admired the man’s bravery, to finally say what he felt.

Leliana and Zevran shared with them all what they had learned over the last month.  Prince Bhelen was by all rights the next in line, but he had been by all accounts a cruel man, so much so that his own father had not wanted him to be his successor.  Lord Harrowmont had no familial claim to the throne, but he appeared to be one with a steadier hand, and a good heart.  They debated amongst each other which one to choose.  Even though the council had requested Ari to make the decision, she believed it would be better decided by committee.

After a few hours of back and forth, they had reached their decision.  Ari returned to Assembly and announced that Lord Harrowmont would be the new prince.

They gathered their supplies and prepared to head out to Denerim when Ari spotted Oghren  running up to them.

“Come to see us off?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I was hoping you could use another hand.  There’s not really anything left for me here.  Maybe out there I could be of help.”

Ari beamed a smile at him, “Glad to have you along Oghren.” She then whispered to Zevran, “Might as well give him your tent, you won’t need it anymore.” 

Zevran gave her a wicked smile, and kissed her cheek. “Your desire is my command, My Warden” he whispered in her ear, enjoying feeling the shiver that ran through her.

They started their journey towards Denerim in high spirits.  They knew there was still a lot of work to do, but a real bed, and a real roof over head was awaiting them when they arrived.  They laughed and joked along the walk, Zevran occasionally taking Ari’s hand and pulling the back of it to his lips, causing her to blush each time.  He could not remember when his heart felt so free.  He was focused on her, and her smile.  That is probably why he missed the fact that they were being watched, had been since they had left Orzammar.  It was something he would curse himself for missing later.

*** 

_ Cullen- _

_ I’m back!  Did you miss me? I know you did. _

_ Well, you missed your chance.  We’ve named a king for Orzammar.  Too bad, you could have been big here. _

_ Fine, sorry, stop rolling your eyes, because I know you are!  Anyway, when making your list of where you want to travel, I recommend keeping the Deep Roads off that list. _

_ We’re on our way to Denerim, things will start getting heated, but we will be there as our new base for the foreseeable future.  We’ll be at the Arl Eamon estate.   _

_ Also, the Antivan is no longer an idiot.  That’s all I’ll say about that for now. If that changes though, all bets are off, he breaks my heart again, you and Alistair are both free to have at him. _

_ \- Ari _

***

_ Ari - _

_ Of course I missed you.  I told you before, I don’t get many letters, so yours are always a welcome treat.  I’m happy to hear your mission was a success, and even happier to hear you’ve made it out safely. _

_ If I was rolling my eyes it was because of that sad excuse for humor that you possess.  And stop knowing me so well as to know if I was or wasn’t rolling my eyes. _

_ I’m glad things are better with you and Zevran.  So you worked out whatever happened then?  Good, and yes, if it happens again, I will gladly make the trip to set things right. _

_ I’ve been working hard here while you’ve been gone, implementing changes to ensure what happened before will never happen again, including ousting a few Templars that were taking advantage of their position to harm mages.  I may be up for a promotion soon.  I’ll let you know. _

_ So happy you’re back and that the letters will continue again. _

_ -Cullen _

***

They were all around the fire again.  It felt good, having everyone there instead of in the broken out groups that had happened the last few months.  Oghren even joined, drinking his ale.  Ari wondered where he kept getting ale from, but he always seemed to have it.  This time he had shared with Alistair, who had already had a few at this point.

Ari was in her usual spot, sitting in front of Leliana who was braiding Ari’s hair.  Alistair, was sitting in front of Ari, drinking another ale.  He was either unaware, or didn’t care that Ari was putting small braids in his hair.  Zev watched from across the fire where he was polishing their armor.  It was a simple task, but somehow being the one to polish her armor again made him feel like all was right in the world.

They were going around sharing stories of their first time.   Morrigan had told them about a hunter that had been in the woods.  In typical Morrigan fashion, the poor man came out of the story sounding like a moron.    Leliana had just finished a tale about hers when she stated, “Your turn Alistair.”

Alistair started to blush, Ari was the only one that he had ever told he was a virgin to.  Some of the others might have suspected, but with him spending so much time in her tent, none could be sure.  Ari was not about to let her best friend die of embarrassment.  “Oh Leli,” she laughed, “You know Ali is too much of a gentleman to kiss and tell.” Alistair shot her a grateful smile, and she winked at him and then pushed his head back forward so she could continue with the braiding.

“Fine,” said Leliana, “Then you share yours, Ari.” 

Ari laughed, “Ok, but the irony is going to kill you.”

“Well now you  _ have _ to tell us!” Leliana squealed.  “Who was it?”

Ari sighed,  _  Oh Maker, they’re never going to let me live this down. _

She looked across the way to Zevran he was giving her a warm smile, it gave her courage.  “Nathaniel Howe” she finally said.

Leliana practically pulled Ari’s hair from the shock.  Morrigan started laughing out loud.  Zevran shook his head, and gave a light chuckle.  Alistair spit out the ale he was drinking.  “Andraste’s flaming knickers.” He yelled.  “As in ‘mastermind of evil’, Howe.  ‘Betrayed your family’ Howe?” he looked at her in shock. 

“Well first of all it was before all that, and yes, Ali, Nate’s his son.  I told you we used to all be friends.” She answered, turning his head forward again.

“Well now you most definitely are telling us,” Leliana said.


	19. Nate and Ari

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is longer than most, but I wanted to get the whole flashback in one chapter to make it easier to know what was back then, and what's now.

**Nearly 3 years prior** :

Highever Castle was a bustle.  Guests were arriving for a celebration, the second birthday of Oren Cousland, the beloved grandchild of Bryce and Eleanor.  The whole day had been spent running here and there to greet all the Lord Whats-his-face and Lady Whats-her-names and oh you just happen to have a son who would make a perfect match for sixteen year old Arianna.  Ari was starting to wonder if this party was really for Oren, or to find her a betrothed.  She swore, if one more “possibility” tried to kiss her hand she would deck them.  Ok, probably not, but only because she didn’t want to embarrass her father.  But she’d think really hard about doing it.  The front runner apparently was the son of Arl Kendall from South Reach, a young man about five years older than her, Aidan.  Fergus had whispered to her that apparently the Arl and Bryce were in talks about a possible arrangement for the two.  Ari had only met this Aidan twice, he seemed nice enough, but completely dull as far as she was concerned.

All that had finally slowed down, the party wouldn’t be for another two hours, and guests were in their quarters for the most part preparing.  Ari had already been dressed, now wearing a deep blue dress that showed off her green eyes.  It had sleeves that came to mid-arm, with black lace.  The bodice was slimming, but showed off the curves she was starting to acquire.   _ Yet more proof this may be less about Oren,  _ she had thought.  Her hair was down, but it had been put into curls by some process she didn’t understand.  Ari took the opportunity to sneak out to her favorite balcony.  From this one at night you could see the fields that surrounded the castle, and in the distance, the lake she and Fergus swam in as children, the moon reflecting off of it.  To Ari, this was peace, a little piece of the Fade.  She took in a deep breath with her eyes closed and could feel herself calm.

So of course that’s right when some dolt has to come join her out here.  Oh, Maker, she thought, if it’s one of those hand-kissers!  She turned, ready to tell whoever it was to get lost, and froze when she saw who it was.   _ Oh Maker, Maker Maker.  Andrastes arse.  What’s he doing here?  Ok, calm yourself, of course he’s here.  Thomas and Delilah are here, and he’s Fergus’s best friend.  Breath Ari, breath, you don’t want to embarrass yourself by passing out, breath.  This is the same boy that pulled your pigtails.  The same boy you used to push in the mud puddles.  But he didn’t look like THAT then.  Oh Maker. _

Ari put on the best smile she could and held onto the rail to keep herself as steady as she could as her crush for, well as long as she noticed boys, walked out onto the balcony with her.  “Nate” she said, with a slight bow, trying so hard to seem calm and uninterested.  Her voice apparently didn’t get the message, as it came out as a squeak.

She turned to look back out to the view.  Yes, not looking at him would definitely help.  “Ri” he said in his warm voice. 

_ Oh maker, not looking is NOT helping _ .  He was calling her by the name only he called her by, did he know how much that made her knees want to buckle.  Thank Andraste for this railing, she thought.  He came over to stand beside her.   _ Really, he had to SMELL good too, Oh Maker, kill me now before I embarrass myself further _ she thought. “I thought you may have hidden away up here.  I remembered this was your hideaway when you’d get mad at me and Fergus” he laughed.  

_ Wait, he was looking for me?  Mother probably sent him to take her to meet yet another hand kisser.  Can I just die now if she sent Nate to bring me to meet one of them? _

Ari nodded but didn’t say much, she was looking very intently at the moon, so she couldn’t see that Nathaniel was watching only her.  He’d actually been looking for her almost since they arrived.  When they had stepped out of the carriage, he had caught a glimpse of her talking with Nan, her faithful mabari pup following her.  He had to take a second look.  Surely that couldn’t be Arianna.  Last time he saw her was six months prior and then she was gawky looking, but this girl here was breath-taking.  He must have been staring for longer than appropriate, because Fergus was suddenly giving him a friendly elbow and telling him to breath.   _ You act like you’ve never seen a girl before _ , he had laughed at Nate.  Now, standing on the balcony next to her, looking up close, she was even more of a beauty.  

“I like looking over the land here,” she said because she just needed to say  _ something _ .  “It’s beautiful.” 

“Yes, it is.” She heard him say, and when she turned to look at him, she noticed he wasn’t looking out to the moon.  He was looking right at her.  All thoughts went right out of her mind, totally blank.  She straightened up, and turned slightly so she was facing him and his hand came up to brush her cheek.  “Very beautiful” he whispered and then leaned in and kissed her.

_ Oh Maker save me. NATE is kissing me!!!! _ She had to reach out and grab the railing again, which was quickly becoming her best friend.  She did NOT want to pass out and miss this.  His lips were so soft, and as if he knew she was new to this, he led the way.  His hand not holding her head came down and covered her hand that was gripping to the railing for dear life.  Ari felt like she was melting inside.  She felt like she could float away, she never wanted this kiss or this feeling to end.

When he did pull back, it wasn’t far.  When she opened her eyes, she could see he was staring right into hers.  That nearly undid her knees right there.  He seemed to notice, as his arm came around her middle to steady her.  His grin widened.  He gave her another quick kiss and then said “I’d like it if you saved a dance for me, Ri”.  She nodded, still unable to find her voice.  He could have all the dances, if he just kept kissing her like that, she thought.

They heard her friend Lena calling out for her and stepped back from each other, but Nate still had her hand, he took it up to his lips and kissed it.  _ Ok, not so bad when he does it _ she thought.  He then bowed, and left the balcony as Lena entered.  As soon as he was out of earshot, Ari pulled her friend close and the two started giggling when Ari filled her in.

***

Bryce and Eleanor sat at a bench watching the festivities.  The celebration was in full swing and everyone seemed to be having a good time.  They were focused mainly on the dance floor where Arianna and Nathaniel were dancing for the third time that night.

“I think, my dear, I may need to let down Arl Kendall gently,” The Teryn said to his wife with a smile, “I do believe young Messer Howe has caught her eye.”

Eleanor patted his leg, “Bryce, dear, he caught her eye three years ago, I think it’s him that’s just catching up.”

“He did? When did she?” he stuttered.  Eleanor laughed and just patted her husband’s leg again.  She had noticed years ago how much Ari would blush whenever Nathaniel came to visit.

***

After that night, Nathaniel started visiting Highever more and more over the next year.  It was usually under the pretense of visiting Fergus, but everyone knew the real reason.  Fergus had even taken to teasing Ari (more than usual) when he knew Nathaniel was coming, almost making a game of seeing how quickly he could make her storm off and blush.  This had been going on for almost eight months  now, and Fergus still didn’t tire of his torment.  He just hoped that he’d be able to help her when Nate eventually broke her heart.  He was his best friend, but Fergus knew Nathaniel had a history of flitting around from girl to girl, losing interest early.  He was actually surprised Nathaniel had stuck to one girl this long.  He had wanted to warn Ari away, but his wife told him that would just make Ari all the more interested, so he kept his mouth shut, but his eyes watchful.

Ari’s favorite time he visited so far was when he offered to show her how to use a bow, like her mother did.  They were in the archery range, she had his bow in her hands while he came up behind her to show her how to position her hands, and he placed a bow along the string.  He was pressed along her back, one hand over each of hers to show her how to hold her arm straight, pulling back with the other.  He was whispering instructions in her ear, in that warm timbre that just made her melt.  She wasn’t sure she could hold up her legs, let alone a bow when he was doing that.  They shot and it hit the target.  

They did this several more times before he said “Let's have you try this on your own.” He stepped back a step, and watched as she set up her arms, just like he showed her, and then started to pull back.  As she did, he stepped forward again, only this time his one arm came to rest along her waist, his hand laid across her stomach.  His breath at her ear again, “You need to be able to shoot when distracted.” And then started to lay kisses along her neck, while the hand at her stomach pulled her closer to him.  

She started to point the bow down, but he pulled it back up with the hand not on her waist, “Shoot it, Ri” and then went back to her neck.  She didn’t hit anywhere near the target, but the second the arrow left the bow she dropped it and turned in his arms, putting hers around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.  Despite all the practice they did, she never did learn how to properly shoot a bow.

This visit, however, they had taken a picnic to one of the lands that they would hunt at when they were younger.  It was still on the Highever grounds, but far enough away that it was a few hours ride, and there was even a hunting cabin stationed here so that one could stay out to hunt for several days.  They were sitting under a tree, eating the meal prepared by Nan, just enjoying the quiet.  Ari had noticed Nate was quieter than usual today, nervous almost.  It started making her feel worried and nervous too.

Nathaniel was leaning against the tree, with Ari leaning against him, both just looking out into the fields.  Nathaniel gave Ari a slight nudge to indicate he wanted her to sit up.  She did so, and he came around her so that he was facing her, still sitting, as he took one of her hands.  “Ri,” he said, rubbing her hand with his thumb.  “I know… I know I have a bit of a reputation, of not being serious.  I wanted you to know… with you… this…” he took a deep breath. “Ri, it’s not a game with you, ok?” she nodded, not fully sure what he was trying to say, but it seemed a nod would be appropriate.  She could see some of the tension leave him, so she figured she guessed right.  He leaned in and gave her a small kiss.

“Ri,” he began again.  “Maker, ok.” She had never seen him this nervous before.  She never thought it was possible, but it made him all the more attractive.  “Ri, I wanted to know… I know I’m supposed to do this the other way around, but I feel like you’d be angry someone was making plans for you without your knowledge.  Ri, would it be okay with you if I spoke with your father?”

She quirked her eyebrow. “Nate, you talk to my father all the time, why do you need to ask me if it’s ok?”

He shook his head and chuckled. “Ri, I’m trying, in a not very good way apparently, to ask if you would consider taking me as your husband.” He then held his breath, waiting for her response.

She launched herself at him, kissing all over his face, knocking them both to the ground.  He turned them around so that he was now on top and she on the ground.  “So that’s a yes then?” he asked.

She leaned up and gave him a slow kiss on the lips, hearing him moan when he did, which caused her to feel warm suddenly.  “Yes, Nate.  I will.” She smiled up at him.

He leaned back down and kissed her again, just as slow, but with more passion.  He started pushing her into the ground, laying his body more on her, a feeling that was new, but something she liked, feeling the weight of him.  His one hand started running along her side while he began to kiss along her neck, while words of ‘I love you’, ‘Mine’, and ‘Beautiful’ left his lips.

Suddenly the skies opened up.  Moments ago it had been sunny and warm.  Now it was a downpour.  Nathaniel quickly leapt up and pulled her with him, looking around he spotted one of the cabins, and they ran to it for shelter.

Once inside Nathaniel took one look at her and pushed her back against the door, his lips on her again. “Say it again, Ri” he pleaded. 

“Yes Nate, I will marry you.” She replied, and his mouth covered hers again, pressing himself against her.  She could feel something hard against her stomach, and she suddenly felt herself getting warm and tingly realizing it was him.  Their hands were quickly grabbing and pulling at each other, each trying to undress the other from their wet clothes, all the while never breaking the kiss except for when she had pulled his shirt over his head.  He slowly picked her up and carried her to the cabin’s bedroom.

*** 

When the rain let up, she was in his arms happy, content.  They had stayed that way for an hour or more, the only time they weren’t was when he got up to lay their clothes by the fire.  When he did so, she watched him from the bed.  She’d never seen a naked man before, and taking in his form, the defined muscles in his torso and legs, she felt herself feel warm again, and a little thrill that all that was going to be hers.

“Love,” he said, “I want nothing more than to stay like this, but we should get dressed and get back before they come looking for us.” Kissing the top of her head as she let out a whine. “Besides, I need to talk with your father.” Leaning down to give her a longer kiss on the lips when she smiled.

They were dressed, and headed out the door, Nathaniel walking out ahead of her.  He wasn’t two feet out of the door before Ari saw him being knocked to the ground.  Out of nowhere Fergus was on top of him, fists flying to Nathaniel’s face.  “She’s my sister you swine.” He yelled out, blood starting to appear on his face.

“Fergus, no”, Ari yelled out trying to pull her brother off of him.

“Ari, stop, you don’t understand.  I know he probably told you all sorts of promises, but he’s a scoundrel, he just wanted to bed you.  I won’t tell mother and father, but Ari, he needs to pay.” Fergus growled.

“We’re getting married!” she blurted out, hoping that would stop him from the pummeling he was giving Nathaniel.

Fergus stopped.  He looked down at Nathaniel , who nodded and reached up to try to wipe some blood from his face.  Fergus looked at Ari, who also nodded.  He finally got up off of Nathaniel , and helped pull him up.  “Really?” he asked.

“He still needs to talk to Father, but yes.” Ari said.

Fergus let out a laugh, and then clapped Nathaniel on the back. “Well then let's get you back and cleaned up.  Sorry Nate.” He said, holding out a hand.

Nathaniel shook it, and nodded.

“Wait, that’s it? He practically breaks your face and a sorry and it’s all ok?” she looked at the two.  She was convinced she’d never understand men.

“I’d do the same thing if it was some guy with Delilah.” Nathaniel shrugged, and the three made their way back to Highever.


	20. Taliesen

“Wait, so you’re married?”

“Yoursh a Howe?”

“How could you not tell us you’re married”

Ari held up her hands, looking across the fire Zev had a look on his face, well she didn’t know what it meant, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t good.  “No, guys no, I’m not married, never been.” Looking specifically at Zev, “No”, he visibly relaxed at that, which relaxed her.

“Yours shore yoursh not a Howe”, Alistair asked, eyeing her with suspicion.

“NO! Now turn your head back forward,” she returned to his hair.  “Have some faith in me, I wouldn’t have kept that from you all.”

“Well then what happened?”, Leli asked.

Ari sighed, kicking herself for having to even go down this path. “All was good at first.  The only family in higher standing than us were the Therins” she tapped Alistair’s shoulder, “so my parents didn’t care who we married, just that we were happy, and Nate was like another son to them, so they were happy.  Fergus and he were best friends, so Fergus was happy, and it was a marriage up in status for Nate, so his father was thrilled.”

“It all started going sour though, after Nate’s mother died.  His father changed, he became crueler.  I don’t know  everything, but according to his sister Del, Howe started telling Nate how he had to control me.  That a proper wife should be making a house, and siring children and obeying her husband’s every command.  She most definitely should not be someone who is hunting, and climbing trees and rough housing.  Nate I guess told his father that if that was what he wanted he wouldn’t be marrying me, and apparently it escalated from there.  Three weeks later Nate was shipped off to the Free Marches and the engagement was declared off by his father.”

“Oh Ari” Leli cried behind her.

“It’s ok Leli, it’s in the past.  I was of course heartbroken then.  Fergus really didn’t know how to deal with a crying sister, so he did what he could to take my mind off things.  That’s when he started teaching me how to spar, even having one of our soldiers show me how to use daggers, which I took to better than a sword.  It was almost a year after Nate was sent away that the attack on Highever happened.  I have no idea whatever became of Nate.”

“Wow!” Alistair said, but finally learned to not turn his head so he remained facing forward.

“Oh you totally win best story tonight,” Leliana laughed.  “You get to skip dinner duty tomorrow.”

“Hey, wesh all win!” Ari called out, earning him a smack on the shoulder from Ari and a laugh from Zevran.

***

Ari was lying awake on her side in her tent, Zevran’s arm around her waist, pulled into his chest.  She had been unable to sleep, even though he hadn’t said anything about it, she was worried how he may have felt about her story from earlier.

“Zev?” she asked.

“Hmm” he mumbled, and began kissing her shoulder.

“Are you upset, about that story I mean.” She remained quiet, waiting for him to tell her he was.

Instead he rolled her shoulder back, so she was now lying facing up, him hovering over her, leaning on his arm.  The hand that had been across her waist now came up to rub the hair from her face.

“Mi amor,” he said softly, leaning down to give her a kiss. “I do not expect you to not have had a life before me.  It is your present and your future that I care about, the past cannot hurt us.” He leaned down again, and kissed her softly again, feeling her relax.

She let out a sigh and then looked up at him again.  “There was more to the story, I just… I didn’t want the rest of them to know.  I’m not sure I want you to know, you might hate me after.”

“My beautiful Ari, I can never hate you.  Tell me what troubles your heart so.” Zevran tried to reassure her.

“The attack on Highever, it was because of the fight Nate had with his father.  My family is dead because of that, because of me.” Her tears started to fall.  She waited to see if he was going to get up and leave, tell her what a horrible person she was.  That she had deserved what had happened to her that night.

But he didn’t.  Instead he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.  “Mi amor, no one, and I mean no one, is to blame except Rendon Howe.  Had I known the type a man he was when he hired me, I would have slit his throat right there.  Not one small piece of what happened was your fault.  I promise you, my love.”

She pressed further into his arms and felt his love wrap around her.  She wasn’t entirely sure she believed him, but to know that he did not blame her gave her some peace.

***

Ari awoke the next morning to find Ali sitting by the fire, fighting to untangle his hair.  When he saw her he pointed to his head, “I assume this is your doing?”

She giggled, “It was your idea, Ali.”

“After how much ale?  Maker, remind me not to drink with Oghren again.  Can you at least get these braids out of my hair?” he begged.

“Anything for you, my Prince” she bowed to him as she walked over to him.

“I hate you,” he growled.

She leaned over and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Of course you do” and laughed as she sat behind him to unbraid his hair.

***

They were about three days out from Denerim when they found themselves surrounded by bandits.  They broke into formations, having fought together for over a year at this point, they all knew each other’s moves.  They sliced through the bandits, while Wynne cast heal spells as they needed.  One slashed at Zevran, slicing him in the arm.  Wynne cast a spell to heal the wound while Ari gave the bandit chase up a small bank.  Healed, Zevran started to follow her, but then heard a voice that froze him where he stood.

“Zevran Arainai,” the man called out.

Zevran’s eyes moved to the embankment just above.  There stood his former partner and friend, Taliesen.  But it wasn’t that which put the fear into Zevran’s eyes.  Taliesen was holding Ari to himself, his chest to her back.  He had one arm around her waist, and another to her throat.

“And so here is the mighty Grey Warden at last.  When I heard that the great Zevran had gone rogue, I had to see it for myself” the dark haired man called below.

“Is that so? Well here I am, in the flesh”, Zevran replied, never taking his eyes off Ari.  The rest of their party stood still, all awaiting a command, none willing to make a move, lest Ari be injured.

“You can return with me Zevran.  I know why you did this, and I don’t blame you.  Come back and we shall make up a story.  Anyone can make a mistake.  I will even let the Warden go if you return.”

“I am sorry my old friend. But the answer is no.  And you should have stayed in Antiva.” Zevran replied, his eyes becoming cold.

“My my Zevran.  All this for a woman?  She must be quite special to make you turn on the Crows.  Perhaps after I kill you I should see what it is about her that is so special, hmm?” he asked, moving his nose to run along Ari’s cheek while his arm around her started to grip tighter.

Zevran glared at the man who he had once called friend, hands gripping at his dagger handles.  He looked Ari in the eyes.  The look in her eyes told him two things.  The first was that there was nothing he would ever not do to keep her safe, the second was that Taliesen was about to get his ass kicked by that woman he was holding.

Zevran let out a dark laugh, “Oh, she is special indeed” and then nodded to Ari.

Using a move Zevran had taught her long ago, and that they had practiced many times, Ari used Taliesen’s stance to her advantage.  She was able to throw her weight in such a way that he was now in front of her, and she had his arm pinned behind him.  “You should have left when you could,” she whispered in his ear, her knife slicing across his throat a second later.  His body fell to the ground, and she gave it a kick, pushing it over the ledge.  She looked around to where the other bandits were, but they had all fled, having seen how quickly she had dispatched of Taliesen.  The minute she turned around Zevran was behind her, pulling her into his arms, a hand snaking up to pull her lips to his.

***

Zevran leaned up on his elbow and looked at the rogue beside him.  His fingertips brushed along her cheek and she gave him a soft smile while she reached her hand up to run along his jaw.

“Are you ok?” She asked him.

He closed his eyes and took a breath.  “I nearly lost you today.”

“You didn’t though, you trained me well.” She reassured him.

“It should not have come to that, I put you in danger.”

“Right, because otherwise I would never face _any_ danger.  I’m ok Zev.  Are they going to send more after you?”

He shrugged, “They may, however, after they report your actions today they may decide it is not worth the trouble.”

“Good, because you are mine and they can’t have you.” She reached up and placed a soft kiss to his lips.

“This I know because of how much of my clothes you steal.” Zevran chuckled.

“You think I’m cute in your shirt,” she smiled at him.

“Si. This is most assuredly true.” He leaned down kissing her with conviction.

***

When they arrived at Denerim, they sought out Eamon’s estate.  He greeted the party when they entered.

“I have arranged rooms for you all, Marie her can show you to them,” he indicated the maid beside him.  “Alistair and Lady Arianna, I need a word with you.”

Zevran picked up her hand and placed a kiss on it before they left.  He did not miss the look of disappointment on Teagan’s face when he did so.  He was happy to see his intended message had been received.

“What do you think he wants to talk to us about?” Ari whispered to Alistair.

“He probably decided to make you queen,” Alistair teased her as they walked into the Arl’s office.

“You are not funny,” she replied giggling which got Alistair to snort.

The Arl gave them both a disapproving look.  “Are you two able to be serious?”

“Probably not,” Ari answered trying not to look at Alistair, knowing it would cause her to break into laughter again.

“Your father would not….” Eamon began.

“For the sake of your nose, you’ll want to rethink finishing that sentence, _Arl_.” Ari glared at him getting serious.

Eamon recalled hearing how Ari had slapped Isolde hard enough to leave a bruise and decided not to test her threat.  “My apologies, Teyrna.” Eamon indicated for them to sit.

“What did you wish to meet with us on, Eamon?” Ari asked, looking at Alistair who was looking nervous.  She couldn’t blame the man.  The last time Eamon had called them into conference, he was told he was going to be king.

“There are several items actually.  The first is one I thought you might be of interest in is rumors we have picked up of a secret Warden cache somewhere in town.  Perhaps while searching for it, you can see if you are able to find any more incriminating evidence against Loghain we can use at the Landsmeet.  I will also be talking with the other Arls and Banns and seeing if we can gather enough support behind Alistair.  You are of Therin blood, so getting support should not be too difficult.”

Alistair nodded and looked at Ari, “I’d love the chance to find that cache.  Maybe there’s something there that can help us fight the blight.”

Ari nodded her agreement.  “If that is all…”

“There is one more matter to discuss, and it affects you Lady Arianna.” Eamon shifted nervously in his chair.

“See I told you, queen” Alistair whispered.

***

Ari slammed the door to her room as she entered.  Zevran had apparently heard her, as he entered quickly behind her in time to see her hit one of the large chairs near the fireplace and knock it over, letting out a scream as she did.

“Mi Amor?” he asked as he entered, ducking as a pillow flew by.

“Sorry, Zev” she growled, “It might not be safe to be here right now.”

“My Warden, tell me what happened.  Do you need me to take care of someone for you?”

“Oh no, this one is all mine.  Teyrn.  He named himself the Maker Forsaken Teyrn of Highever” she yelled as she tossed a vase at the fireplace.  “Howe is a dead man.  Then I’m going to have Morrigan bring him back to life, so I can kill him again!”

Zev reached over and took her hand. “Come, Ari.  We are going to the sparring ring, before you destroy the room.”


	21. Saving the elves

Ari kept had been keeping a wordless assault for thirty minutes.  She attacked, grunting with effort, but making no other effort to speak.  Zev took it all on, only defending her hits, not attacking back.  Her anger did not appear to be lessening, he realized he’d need to change tactics.

“Are you going to just play like a child, or fight?” he taunted her.

Her eyes darkened, she came at him with the practice daggers spinning, yelling with each hit.

“He took Nate”

*hit*

“He took my home”

*hit*

“He took my family”

*hit*

“Now he’s taken my title”

*hit*

“And that stupid Maker forsaken Crow tried to take you”

*hit*

Then she threw down her weapons, and started pushing at him, like with the daggers, he let her, backing up with each hit.

“I” push “am sick” push “of people taking” push “what is” push “mine!!”

His back hit a training dummy with that last push, he grabbed her hands when she pushed him and pulled her into him.  As her body slammed into him, he pulled her head to him and kissed, hard.  She fought for about a second, and then she felt all the anger leave her instantly.  She realized with that kiss, he was letting her know he was still there.  Letting her know that no one would steal him away in the dead of night.

When he pulled back he looked in her eyes, hand still on her head.  “Better?” he asked.

She nodded, and leaned into his chest, his arms wrapped around her.

“Good.” He kissed the top of her head and led her back to the castle.

*** 

Leliana peered around the corner.  She signaled there were three guards at the door.  It was becoming more and more evident that there was something besides a plague going on.  They’d yet to find any sick in this so called “infirmary” but plenty of guards, who attacked on sight.  Zevran placed a fire trap out.  Once set, they all stepped back, and Alistair walked out into the hallway.

“Hey guys, do you know which way to the mess hall?”  the two guards looked at him, but didn’t say much.  He sighed.  “Loghain’s breath smells like a mabari’s butt” he yelled out.  That got their attention and they started in his direction.  He slowly backed up, and the first one hit the trap, catching on fire immediately.  While he writhed on the floor, the rest attacked the other two.  They were able to make quick work of them, and broke into the door they were guarding.

Ari let out a gasp with what they found there.  Two large cages were in the room, both filled with elves.  Ari took the key they had pulled off one of the guards and unlocked them both.  They did their best to reassure the elves they were safe, leading the group out the way they came so they could reunite with their families.

“We need to find out who’s behind this, and make sure there’s not others being held.” Ari said, nearly in tears.  Who could do this?

They entered the warehouse, following some guards that looked like the ones they had killed earlier.  “Something’s off here” Alistair looked around.  “Why would there be soldiers here?”

They entered a room, finding an elf talking to several guards.  She didn’t seem to be under duress, in fact she seemed to be the one giving the orders.  From her accent, Ari could tell she was Tevinter.   “Slavery is bad enough, but you're selling your own people to the slavers?”

The woman didn’t answer, but instead signaled to her companions to attack.  Before they could get far, Morrigan had hit them with a lightning spell, all four guards fell to the ground dead at the same time.   Ari cornered the woman. “Talk” she growled, holding out a dagger.

“I’m Devera, I’m working for Caladrius.  It’s too late, we are leaving soon. You cannot stop us”

Ari stabbed forward, the elf fell to the floor bleeding.  “Stopped you though” Ari snarled, signaling the others to follow.

They quickly found the man they were looking for.  “Caladrius” she yelled out.

A bald haired, bearded man looked up.  He held his hands up. “Warden.  I am sure we can come to some agreement.”

Ari raised an eyebrow.  “And what of your partner?” she asked, hoping to trick him into giving up that information.

“Loghain?” he asked. “I have no loyalty to him.  Let me go with them” pointing to the cages “and I’ll give you proof he’s behind this and we will never return.”

“Hmm…. What do you think Leli? She asked.

Leliana put her finger on her lips. “Hmm…. How do we know he really has any proof?”

The man raised a scroll, and stuck it in his armor.

Leli spoke again, “I say we just kill him, free the slaves and take the evidence anyway?”

Ari shrugged. “Ok, sure.  I hate slavers anyway.”

Caladrius tried to escape, however he didn’t notice Zevran, having crept behind him while Ari and Lelina had kept him occupied.  The man barely made a step before he had met the business end of Zevran’s blade.  As he fell, Zevran grabbed the scroll from his hand.

They headed to the cages and freed the elves, and then  led them, mostly children Ari noticed with a knot in her stomach, back to the Alienage like they had with the last group.

“Seriously, it’s like he just gets worse and worse the more we find out about the man.” Ari shook her head as they left the alienage.

*** 

Ari worked on the lock while the rest of the companions stood around blocking anyone who looked down the alley from seeing her.  She listened as the tumblers fell into place.  Giving a little fist pump when the lock clicked open.

She pushed the door open, the others quickly following behind.

“So how will we know what to look for, Kadan?” Sten asked.

“Not sure, just look for anything that looks Wardeny I guess” Alistair answered.

“Wardeny?” Ari quirked an eyebrow.

“Shut up” Alistair stuck out his tongue at her.

They searched through boxes, finding coins, which they pocketed, a few weapons, and some other items they could sell for coin.  Ari was just about to give up, when she leaned against the wall and felt it give.  “Zev, Alistair, help me out here” she cried out.

The three of them pushed against the wall and found a secret cabinet.  “So I’m going to guess that’s it,” Morrigan laughed.

Alistair seemed to be frozen when Ari opened it.  He was staring at a shield hanging in the center.  It appeared to be made of silverite, with a griffon in the center. “Ali?” she asked.

“That”, he said.  “Maker’s breath, that’s Duncan’s shield.” He looked like he was about to cry.

Zevran pulled it down from the hook, and looked at Ari who nodded.  He handed it to Alistair, who took it, looking at it like it was the most precious thing in the world.  “Are you sure?” he asked.

Ari nodded.  “He’d want you to have it Alistair.”

Alistair leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, then put the shield on his back.

Ari grabbed a large book from the chest, putting it into her sack hoping it contained actual information and not just a diary or recipes for stew.  The others picked out weapons that they needed.  They then hid the cabinet again, and left after making sure the alley was clear, heading back to the castle to rest after the day.


	22. The Crow

They were nearly back to the gates of the Arl’s estate when a young boy ran up to them.  “Lady Warden, Lady Warden” he cried out.  She turned, hoping the boy hadn’t brought too much attention to them.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Lady, a message for you.” He presented her with a sheet of paper.  She could tell from the look of him that he probably had not had a good meal for a week.  She reached in her sack and pulled out one of the bags of coins they had just found and placed it in the boy’s hand.

“My Lady?!” the boy cried out.

“Take this with good health.  In exchange, keep an eye out for us, tell me if you see anything suspicious going on, deal”  

The boy nodded and ran off with his prize.

Ari looked at the note and her face paled.  She handed it to Zevran, asking, “What do you think?”

_ Lady Arianna, _

_ Your assistance is requested with help on a task.  I may have some information of value, perhaps we can help each other. _

_ Find me at the Gnawed Noble if you agree. _

_ Master Ignacio of the Antivan Crows _

“I know of this Ignacio.  We should hear him out, see if it’s a trap.  Leli, Oghren, I’m sure you could be useful waiting outside should it be such?” the two nodded.  “We bring Alistair and Sten, show of force will help.”

Ari nodded. “Wynne, you Morrigan and Fiss head back to the estate.  If you don’t hear from us in an hour send reinforcements.”

Everyone then left to their designated assignments.

*** 

Ari made her way to the back room of the Gnawed Noble with Zevran, Sten and Alistair following close behind.  Zevran was ever wary, keeping an eye out for anything that spoke of a trap.  When they entered, she found a tall, balding man in leather armor waiting for them.

“Ah, Lady Cousland” the man bowed. “You honor me.”

“Speak quickly, Ignacio.” Zevran spoke, “And if this is a trap…”

The man turned to him, “Ahh, Zevran, good to see you again.  I promise, there is no wish on my part to trick you.  I come to you for help with a task.  Taliesen has a contract on you, but I have no interest in your whereabouts.”

“Taliesen is dead” Ari said coldly. “If you attempt to harm any of mine, including Zevran, you will join him.“

Ignacio nodded to show his understanding.  He went on to explain that he needed help with a few contracts.  He had apparently been identified as a Crow, hence he needed to find another to accomplish the assassinations.

“And what do we get in exchange?” Ari asked.

“I have someone who will speak against Loghain and for you, Alistair, at the Landsmeet.”

“All well and good,” Ari said, “But if we’re to take this risk, I need more than that.”

“Very well.  You do drive a hard bargain.  I see why she caught your eye, Zevran.” the man bowed his head again. “In exchange, I will personally speak with the Guild Master for the Crows, and have it so that the contracts on you and Zevran are closed.”

Ari turned to look at Zevran. “Ignacio is a honorable man.  We can trust his word in this.” He replied to her unasked question.

“Very well,” Ari said. “We have a deal.”

After they left, Alistair looked at her with shock.  “We’re not honestly doing this are we? Becoming assassins?”

“Ali, the first contract is for someone that’s looking to kill us anyway, so we may as well put a stop to it.  The second is a group that is looking to capture and kill Sten, so again, we need to stop it anyway.  This way we do what we need to and get the Crows off of us.”

Alistair nodded.  “Ok, fine.  That makes sense, but it still makes me uncomfortable.”

“If you prefer, you can stay at the estate, I’ll bring Leli instead.”

Alistair shook his head.  “No.  No offense, but I intend to make sure you’re safe, Ari.” Then he put his arm around her, “It’s my sworn duty as big brother.”

***

Zevran entered their room to see Ari sat on the floor in front of the fire reading the book she had taken from the Grey Warden stash.  He paused to watch her before walking further in the room.  Just seeing her there, he could feel his heart beat faster.  He cursed himself for having ever believed the whores and Crows that told him love was an illusion.  If this was an illusion, it was one he decided he didn’t want to wake from.

He sat behind her, wrapping his arms under hers and around her waist. “Interesting read, mi amor?” he asked, starting to kiss her neck.  She hummed, and rested into his arms.  “Information about the joining, a few ceremonies and such that I’ve already seen.  But there’s a lot to read here, maybe something we can use to defeat the Archdemon if we’re lucky”

“Mm-hmm” he said coming up to her ear with his wandering mouth, starting to explore it with his tongue.

“And it’s totally not interesting at all,” she sighed, pressing back into him and putting down the book.  “Did you and Leli decide how we should proceed?”

“I’ll tell you later, My Warden.  Right now I have other pursuits in mind.” He whispered as he moved to the other side of her neck, smiling as she let out a quiet moan.  He continued his assault on her neck, as he worked his way to the  front of her, slowly lowering her to lie on the floor as he moved so that he was on top of her.  He started to unbutton her shirt, keeping the kisses moving as he did. Her hands moved along his hair, starting to pull lightly as she had learned he liked.  The other was pressing on his upper arm, holding him to her.

“Zev” she moaned as his hand came over her breast, teasing the nipple to a peak.  He moved his lips to hers, and began kissing her hard.  He ground himself against her, feeling her buck against him.

“Ari,” he growled to her, “I want you. I love you. I need you”

That was all she needed to hear, as she started pushing and pulling at his clothes, removing them as quickly as she could.  She pulled his shirt over his head, kissing his shapely chest as it became exposed,  he removed her shirt from her at the same time.

She reached to untie his trousers, but he pushed her hands away and then took his hand, running it along her stomach, and sliding it under her leggings and into her smalls.  All the while continuing his assault on her mouth, stopping only occasionally to pledge affections to each other.  He chuckled when he heard her moan loudly, and buck against him, as he began pressing along her nub with his thumb.  His finger running along her slit, and finding her wet, he pushed one inside her.  “Zevran!” she cried out when he added a second in her.

He’d heard countless other women call out his name in passion, but none had ever excited him as much as hearing his name on her lips.  He decided it was something he wanted to spend forever hearing.  He removed his hand from her to push her trousers and smalls down and off her, while she pulled at his again.  She moaned his name again, and he felt the need to be inside of her  _ right now! _

As soon as his trousers were to his knees he kicked his legs to pull them down and the moment one leg was free he moved back on top of her.  Looking her in the eyes, he whispered “My Ari”, and nothing more as she pressed her lips to him.  He pushed inside her at that moment.  Ari’s head shot back, as she cried out his name again, wrapping her legs around him and urging him to move.  He obliged, starting slow, but when she called out “Harder” he obeyed.

She lost the ability for words as he pounded into her, while kissing her neck again, saying “Mine”, “Bonita”, and the occasional “Maker”.  He felt Ari start to pulse around him, his lips swallowing her scream as she fell over the edge, Zevran following quickly after, gently resting on top of her.

He raised his head, and kissed her on the nose.  “I love you, Ari”

“Mmmm,” she smiled, “I could tell.”  

*** 

_ Cullen, _

_ Denerim is proving more exciting than I remember from my previous visits.  The more we learn, the less there is good about Loghain.  He was the Hero of River Dane, how did he become this man that is doing all these despicable things? _

_ I met him once, it was many years ago and I was much younger.  I have a hard time seeing the man I met so long ago that was so loyal to King Maric as the same man responsible for so much wrong.  I pray to the maker all this is over soon. _

_ We found a tome belonging to the Wardens.  My hope is that it will contain the secret to defeat the Archdemon and end this blight. _

_ Keep safe _

_ \- Ari _

*** 

They entered the Pearl, Leli and Zev suggesting it would be the best place to start to fulfill Ignacio’s contracts that night, where as they’d have better luck attacking the Qunari during the day.  They knocked on the door the targets were in.

“Password”, a man called out

“Wardens suck eggs” Alistair answered, shrugging when the rest looked at him, Ari covered her mouth to contain a giggle.

The door opened, revealing a small party.  The Wardens’ party made short work of them.  Having completed the mission, Oghren suggested they get a table in the main room and have a few drinks.  He reasoned it would be less suspicious if they were to stick around then if they were saw entering and leaving within a short time after the attack.  They found a large table to accommodate them all, and sat around it while Oghren ordered their drinks.  

Alistair sat across from Ari, “Don’t have too much, or we can’t be responsible for what happens to your hair, Ali!” Ari teased and Leliana laughed.  

Morrigan, to the shock of the rest of them, produced cards and suggested a game of Wicked Grace, which they all readily agreed to.  Ari looked around, and was happy to see everyone just relaxed, laughing (even Morrigan) and enjoying each other’s company.  It was so rare lately that they all had time like this to just relax.  Her smile continued, until she felt the brush of an arm next to hers, and turning she saw that arm wrap around Zevran’s chest, the body that arm was attached to pressed to his back, while the head attached to that body (for now, she thought) leaned down and kissed his cheek.  She looked over at the scantily clad pirate.

“Zevran!” the woman said seductively.  “So good to see you.  Let’s leave this game and get reacquainted.” Her hands started to wander down his chest, and Ari started to wonder if she could chop them off without harming Zevran, although if he didn’t stop her soon, she might not care about that so much.

While Ari was glaring at the woman who seemed oblivious, Ali was sitting across the way wondering how long he should let this go on until, as the brother, he was expected to get up and defend Ari’s honor.

“Why Zev, who’s your friend?” Ari asked in a calm voice, eyes locked on him, letting him know that she was actually anything but calm.

He chuckled, while disengaging himself from the pirate.  “Isabela,” he said, “Allow me to introduce, Sten, Morrigan, Alistair, Oghren, and Leliana” he said each nodding as he said their name.  He then took Ari’s hand to his lips, and winked at her as he did, “And allow me to introduce my lovely Arianna.”

Isabela seemed to take the hint, as she stepped back from Zev, and sat next to Alistair, who immediately started blushing, causing Ari to have to cover yet another chuckle.  During this time, Zevran still had not released her hand, intending to send a clear message to Isabela, and perhaps to save himself from being hit for not stopping the pirate sooner.

The game continued, and as it progressed, Ari found that despite the unpleasant meeting, she actually liked Isabela.  Not only did her state of undress make Alistair amusingly uncomfortable, but she had a wicked sense of humor.  And once she seemed to get the message that Zevran was with Ari, she focused her flirting on just about everyone else.  During one hand she commented “You must be pretty special to have turned the mighty Zevran Arainai monogamous” and she winked at Ari to let her know she had meant no hard feelings.

“She is quite special,” Zevran agreed with her, as he touched Ari’s cheek softly.

*** 

Ari had gone off to the bar to retrieve more drinks, allowing Isabela to move closer to Zevran.  “So Zev, what’s the angle?” she asked.  “Is she a new target?”

Zevran chuckled and shook his head.  “No, Bella.  I have left the Crows, and she is my heart.” He smiled.

Bella laughed, “Well there’s a first time for everything.”  She looked over to the bar, and her face became concerned.

“Zev,” she whispered harshly.  “I think your lady is in trouble.”

He looked over just in time to see her being dragged out the back door by a large man, his hand over her mouth to keep her from yelling out.  


	23. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter for attempted rape/ talk of rape

Zev turned to face the table, and caught Alistair’s eye who also seemed to have just noticed what was happening as the warrior stood with his hand already on the hilt of his sword.  He nodded to Zevran and the two made their way to the back alley, pushing past the drunks that littered their paths.  The rest of the party they instructed to stay behind and keep an eye out for trouble.

When Zevran exited the back door, with Alistair a breath behind, he stopped and looked around.  For an agonizing second he couldn’t see any sign of them, terror starting to grip at his chest.  He had promised,  _ sworn _ to her that he would keep her safe after they had reconciled.   _ Maker, don’t let me have failed, _ he thought.  As if sensing his friend’s fear, Alistair placed his hand on the elf’s shoulder and pointed to a far corner, nearly covered in dark.

What he saw made Zevran’s blood start to boil.  The large man, easily as big as Alistair, probably a soldier Zevran guessed, had Ari pinned against the wall.  His one hand had her wrists pinned above her, his other was running along her side, as if a lover’s touch, but the look on her face, a mix of fear and anger, made it clear it was an unwanted touch.  The man’s nose was running along her cheek and he seemed to be saying something.  The only good thing, was he was so focused on Ari, that he failed to notice the two men had entered the alley.

*** 

He couldn’t be here, this can’t be real, how had he found her.  The minute she saw him at the bar she tried to discreetly get back to where her friends were, but it was too late.  Captain Roule had already seen her and despite his size, he moved quick, years of training for battle the reason.  He had his hand around her mouth and another around her waist and was pulling her out the door before she could blink.  Panic started to grip at her, then anger.  _ NO! No I will not allow  this again!  _ Then fear kicked in as he shoved her against the wall of the alley.  No one came through the door, how long before they noticed she was gone, she wondered.  She stared right at him, the nightmare looking over her body, licking his lips as if a meal before him.  She wanted to fight back, but he had her hands bound in one of his larger ones above her, so she just glared at him, trying to hide the fear that was tight in her stomach.  She would  _ not _ let him see her fear.  She would  _ not _ let him know he had affected her at all, not let him know how many times she’d awoken in a sweat, screaming, his face haunting her.  She kept her eyes intently on him, feeling her body scream, and shudder in revulsion as he began to run his other hand along her side, up and down.

His touched her cheek with the point of his nose, she could feel him actually sniff her.  It sent a shiver down her, it was one of repulsion, but the way he pressed against her, she was sure he took it another way. “Tell me Arianna,” he whispered to her, “do you think of me at night?  I think of you.  Your smell, how you felt pressed under me.  And here you are, like a dream come true.  I’m going to take you again, Arianna. “ He rolled his hips against her so she could feel he was already hard, “I’m going to make you see how good it feels as I take you against this wall.  I want to hear you moan my name.  You will see that you really want me, don’t pretend you haven’t been thinking of me.” He started to lick at her throat, and began to tear her shirt.

She was about to spit in his face, when suddenly he was pulled off her.  Zevran and Alistair were hauling the man back.  A second later her now free hand met him in the face in the shape of a fist.  It was followed quickly by a kick to the gut.  The man fell back under the weight of her kick, and Alistair and Zev dropped him to the ground.  Zevran quickly came around to stand beside Ari, looking her over for injury.  She finally seemed to notice him there, having kept her eyes locked on the Captain this entire time until now.  She clung to his arm and looked to the side, noticing Alistair there, his foot on the man’s arm to prevent his escape.

“Is this a random idiot, sis, or someone I want to rough up?” Alistair asked, looking down at the man.

Ari seemed to come back to herself then, suddenly reaching out for Zevran with more desperation.  Sensing her adrenaline leaving her, he pulled her towards him, wrapped a protective arm around her and let her burrow into his chest.  

“That’s him” she whispered in his ear.  

He looked at her face, seeing the tears starting, and feel her shaking.  “Him?” he asked softly so only she could hear.

“ _ Him _ ” she stressed to Zevran, and it finally clicked who she meant.  This was the man he had sworn so long ago to get stabby with.  This was the man who caused her to bolt from sleep screaming.  He had been an assassin since a young boy, but never had he wanted to kill someone as badly as he did this man on the ground right now.  He broke from Ari, handing her to Leli, who had joined them.  He then bent down to look at the man, Zevran wearing the face he had worn before many a kill.  “Alistair, it appears we have here the swine that no doubt you have thought of running a blade through as much as I, my friend.”

Alistair looked confused for a moment, then looking up and seeing the fear in Ari’s eyes, realized just who Zevran meant.  At that he looked down, the usual kind, childlike features turning instead into the snarl of a big brother protecting his siblings.  

“Give me one reason why we shouldn’t leave you here to bleed out?” Zevran growled.

The man seemed to regain himself at this point, he shoved Alistair off of him, and stood to tower over Zevran.  “You will not touch me  _ knife-ear. _ Nor you,” he glared at Alistair.  “I am the Captain of the Guard for Teryn Howe’s troops.  You could be killed already for attacking me.”

“We could bring him in, let the law deal with him for rape.” Alistair glared, getting closer to the man.

“They won’t touch me, I am the Guard Captain.  She is a dishonored former noble, and a traitor to the late King and the Kingdom of Ferelden.  Perhaps I should be bringing you in, traitors.” Captain Roule growled at them.

“He’s right” Ari said softly from the side.  “Zev, let’s just go home, please?”

Zevran nodded, and took her hand.  Once beside her he wrapped his arm around her and held her close to let her know he would keep her safe while he led her out of the alley towards the Arl’s home.  Alistair shoved the Captain as they walked past, causing the man to stumble and fall back against a crate there.  Leliana gave the man a quick look, she wasn’t exactly sure what had just gone down, but she had a good idea, and was considering getting stabby herself.

*** 

It had taken nearly three hours for Zevran to help Ari calm down enough to sleep, but now she did.  She was wrapped in his arms, Fiss along the other side of her.  He watched her face as she slept, all the worry now gone.  She looked so peaceful.  He wished she always could look this way, but instead she always looked tight, carrying the weight of the Blight, her family’s honor and so much more on her at all times.  He bent down and kissed her temple.

“Keep an eye on our lady,” he whispered to the mabari as he snuck out.  He walked down the hall, two doors and knocked quietly.  Leliana answered, Zevran whispered a few words to her, and they both quietly left the estate and walked into the Denerim night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter made me all grumpy, so I wrote something short but silly to un-grump me:
> 
>  
> 
> <http://archiveofourown.org/works/4349597>


	24. Rescue the Queen

Ari awoke the next morning, still wrapped in Zev’s arms, Fiss having moved to the floor.  He was still asleep, she just looked at him.  She could feel the warmth of his skin, and hear his heartbeat. She marveled at how safe she felt just being in his arms.  She was  lying along his shirtless chest, since she had once again stolen his, although at this point he typically just handed it to her each night instead of pretending he might actually get to keep it.  No matter if it was here behind the estate walls, or in a tent in the middle of Darkspawn territory, once those arms wrapped around her, the world wasn’t as scary.  Last night the world got a whole lot scary, she thought, but once again he had made it not so bad.  He’d helped calm her back down, helped reassure her that she was safe and loved and that he would protect her to the end.  She had fallen asleep feeling secure, wrapped tight with him behind her, and awoken lying next to him, still wrapped in those arms.

She looked over him sleeping.  He was perfection in her eyes.  He looked younger with all the stress from his day gone when he slept.  She ran her hand slowly over his chest and stomach, feeling the defined muscles from years as a trained assassin.  Elves normally did not have such definition, but the years of practice since a young age had definitely had an effect on his torso, one she could appreciate.  

She had always felt she didn’t need anyone else to take care of her, that somehow it made her weak as so many noble women needing a man to take care of her. But looking him over, she realized that maybe it wasn’t so bad.  She knew she’d do anything to keep him safe, to keep the Crows away from him, so why shouldn’t he want to do the same for her?  She leaned up and kissed his chin lightly.  He hummed and she felt the arms around her squeeze as she rested her head in the crook of his neck, letting sleep take her again.  They would be taking on the Qunari later that day, but for now she could sleep some more in peace, safe in his arms.

*** 

Zevran, Ari, Alistair, Morrigan sat around a table at the Gnawed Noble playing Wicked Grace.  Isabela had even come to the tavern to join them. They were celebrating.  Not only had they defeated the Qunari earlier that day, but they had satisfied the jobs for Master Ignacio.  Zevran assured her that Ignacio was very close to the Guild Master, and that if anyone had the chance to change his mind, it would be Ignacio.  

Zevran was on one side of Ari, as usual, and Alistair was on the other.  Alistair had not been more than 2 feet from her the whole day.  It had been starting to get on her nerves, reminding her of how Fergus used to hover over her when they were little, acting as if she might fall to a horrible fate if she didn’t have her big brother close by.  She tried to keep reminding herself that it was Alistair’s way of showing he cared, but she had still contemplated shoving him as they walked by a mud puddle earlier.

Ari caught on to a conversation going on behind her at another table when she heard the name Paedan being said – it was the name of one of the men they had killed the night before at the Pearl.  She glanced to her side, and could see Alistair was listening as well.  She looked to the other side, and couldn’t tell if Zevran had caught it or not.  He appeared to be paying attention just to the game, but she suspected the former Crow was always attentive to what was going on around them.

“I swear it’s all true, I heard it this morning, it’s a huge scandal for  _ Teyrn Howe _ , his Lieutenant and his Captain,” the woman speaking said the name with distaste.  “I don’t believe for a second what they’re saying about the Couslands.  I think this new Teyrn is somehow behind it.”

“That’s old news Esther, I want to know about this new scandal” the other woman said.

“Well, my understanding is they were both found this morning in an alley, apparently they had some type of fight, both dead.  The Captain must have really angered Lieutenant Paedan, they said the Captain’s body was covered in cuts and stabs, more than they could count.  I even heard from my son that the Captain’s neck had been sliced.”

Ari looked at Alistair, “Ali?” she asked. “Did you do something last night?”  He shook his head, having no idea what had happened, but appreciating their good luck.

She turned then to look at Zevran.  He had been with her all night as far as she knew, but from the way he was avoiding her eyes right now, she started to wonder.  She put down her cards, grabbed his face within her hands and pulled him in for a kiss.  He placed his cards down, pulling her into his lap, one arm wrapped around her, while the other touched her face.  His tongue ran across her lips and she opened, giving him access as he deepened the kiss.  Across the table Isabela whooped, while Morrigan made a gagging sound to tease them.  Alistair blushed watching them, but looked still trying to figure out what was going on.

When the kiss ended, Zevran moved his lips to her ear, “I promised you, you will always be safe.” He then kissed her cheek and put her back down on her seat, picking back up his cards to resume the game.  

She couldn’t help the large grin that stayed on her face the rest of the game.

*** 

Two days later they were preparing for the Landsmeet when a woman had run in.  She had introduced herself as Anora’s handmaiden.  According to her, Anora was being held captive by Howe.  Despite the fact that they thought it might be a trap, they couldn’t risk that Howe might hurt the Queen.  That is how they found themselves searching through the dungeons at Howe’s Denerim estate.  It was an estate Ari had visited multiple times in the past, so she was able to lead the rest through the estate with ease.  It was her, Zevran, Sten and Leliana.  Alistair wanted to come along, but Ari had insisted that he stay behind.  She reminded him that he was going to be king, and it might not be the wisest move for him to be lurking around Howe’s estate should it be a trap.

They came upon the cells in the basement.  Ari flipped the ring of keys in her hand.  “Who wants to get out?” she called out.  The first cell contained an elf who appeared to have been beaten.  He skittered away from the rest of them, but Zevran was able to convince the man it was safe to leave.  The next was a noble man.  

“Let me out, my father is powerful.  When he hears that Howe has done this, my father will see him pay!” the prisoner yelled out.

Ari started to pull the key to open the cage when the elf called out. “YOU!  My lady, this beast raped my betrothed on our wedding day and then had me locked in here.”

“They’re elves.  Who really cares!” the man yelled back.

“Yup.  You get to stay.” Ari smirked, moving on to the next cell, ignoring the man’s screams.

Her eyes were wide at the next cell.  “Andraste’s ass!  You’re a Grey Warden!”  

The man rose and nodded. “Riordan,” he answered in an Orlesian accent.  She quickly opened the cell.  

“Riordan, so happy to see you.  I am Warden Cousland.  Oh it is so wonderful to see another Warden.” She shook his hand, the man laughed at her enthusiasm. “We could really use your help once we get back to the estate.”

When they got to the last cell, she screamed.  Zevran instinctively grabbed his blades, and then watched in surprise as she threw the cell door open and rushed into the arms of the knight  “Ser Gilmore! You’re alive!” she laughed.  She dragged the surprised man out of the cell and turned to her friends.  “Zevran, Sten, Leli, this is Ser Gilmore.  He served at Highever.”

“My lady, it does my heart good to see you survived,” Gilmore hugged her.

“I feel the same to see you.  Right now I need you to return to Arl of Redcliffe’s estate with Warden Riordan.  I’ll come find you once we’ve returned.”  He nodded at her request and the two men helped the injured elf out.  All ignoring the Arl’s son cursing at them.

They opened the door to the next room, Zevran hadn’t even entered when he heard Ari growl.

“You. Are. DEAD!” she snarled, blades whirling.

Zevran recognized Howe from when he had met the man over a year ago, when he had hired him as a Crow.  He quickly moved to be beside Ari, deflecting the attacks from others as she stalked to the man that had betrayed her.  Howe attempted to rush her, but she quickly brushed his weapon aside, slamming it away from his grasp.

“Arianna, I’m sure we can work this out, my dear.” The weasel suggested, nearly begging for his life.

“No!” she yelled out.  “You have betrayed us too many times. No more.”

She attacked with ferocity.  Anger from the broken engagement, anger from the betrayal of her family, anger that he tried to break her, anger that he stole their title.  Howe fell to the ground, she stuck her blades in his chest, standing over to watch the life drain from his face.

“That’s for Oren, you bastard!” she whispered, pulling out her blades and turned to leave.  She passed by the rest of her companions without a word.

*** 

They made their way out of the dungeons and were nearly out of the estate with the Queen when a group of soldiers attacked.  The Queen betrayed them and said she was being kidnapped.  Ari pushed in front of the group 

“Get her out of here” she cried out, defending the team while they took the Queen with them.  Sten practically had to drag Zevran out, the elf not wanting to leave her behind.

They had been debating for two hours about how to get Ari out of the estate.  

“We should storm in there, before anyone has a chance to hurt her,” Sten suggested.

“We can’t just do that.  There is diplomatic ways, we just need to…” Arl Eamon started to explain.

“No!” Alistair slammed his fist on the table.  “You have no idea what she’s been through.  What’s been done to her already.  I’ll be damned if I’m giving Loghain or anyone else there a chance to hurt her again.”

“Alistair, you’re too important to Ferelden.  I know you are worried for your friend, but we can’t risk something happening to you,” Eamon explained.

Zevran was losing patience with these morons, and from the way Alistair was yelling, so was he.  Zevran grabbed Leliana’s arm.  “We are getting her out now!” he growled.  

They opened the door to the chamber and froze.  “I got tired of waiting for you twits to come save me, so I saved me.  Who’s up for some Wicked Grace.” Ari laughed.

Zevran just shook his head and smiled at the woman he loved.  He held out his arms and she rushed into them, holding him tight as he wrapped his arms around her.  “You were not harmed, were you,” he asked her quietly.

“One of them tried, I knocked him out.  I’m ok Zev,” she sighed into his arms as he pressed a kiss to her head.


	25. The Landsmeet

_ Ari – _

_ Word has reached us that “Teyrn” Howe has been killed.  I’m guessing you may have had something to do with that?  If so, good for you! _

_ I’ve been promoted to Lieutenant, the hard work is paying off, and I implemented some new rules here that seem to help.  It’s quiet here now.  Sometimes makes me think of before the circle fell, there was a mage here that especially liked to stir up trouble when it was quiet.  Not blood magic trouble.  More like pranks and escaping multiple times trouble.  His last escape was just before the blood mages took over.  I am fairly certain he had nothing to do with that, but he picked the right time to take off.  As a result he had a good head start, we’re only now able to start trying to track him down. _

_ I’ll be busier with my new position, but I still look forward to your letters.   How is your friend, Alistair, handling the pressure of potential King-ness? _

_ -Cullen _

*** 

Zevran watched in amusement as Ari was clearly becoming annoyed at the Knight who had been following her around all day.  He sat at the table, with his feet upon it, eating an apple, and just smirking.  He felt like he was getting a glimpse of what she must have been like before the Blight.

“Seriously, we’re in an estate, you don’t need to follow me everywhere, I’m safe here.”

“With all due respect, my lady, it is my sworn duty to guard you.  That is what your father hired me for, and I would be remiss in my duties to not follow you all around and annoy you.  And it is my duty to be sure your honor is intact.” He looked over at Zevran as he said that last sentence.

“Pffft.” She laughed.  “Sorry Gil, you’re a little too late there.  He’s already gone and dishonored me all over Ferelden”

Zevran made a little bow with his head and a flourish with his hand that held the apple in their direction, and then went back to eating his apple, chuckling at the two.

“Besides, your protection would have come in way more help at the start of all this.  You’ve come in at the easy part, where were you when it was all bandits and Darkspawn battles?” she asked, teasing him.

“My apologies my lady.  It was quite inconsiderate of me to become locked in the dungeon while you were doing so.” He teased.

“Hmmph.  Excuses excuses Gil.” she teased back. 

“From what I recall, you spent most of your days sparring with your father’s soldiers, I’m sure you could handle a few bandits” he replied.

“And yet I need you guarding me while we’re in the Arl’s estate?” she laughed as the two walked out of the dining hall.  “Where was all this guarding when Fergus was pushing me in mud puddles, huh?”

*** 

Ari was sitting in the Arl’s study at a table, sitting to Alistair’s right, while waiting for the Arl.  Alistair was clearly nervous, biting his lower lip while his fingers drummed on the table.  She tried to give him a reassuring smile.

“You  _ promise _ you’ll help me?  Like, always be there?” he asked looking more worried than before.

“Ali, I told you before, when you’re King I will help you, however you need.  I promise.” She pat his hand to reassure him.

He took a deep breath and seemed to visibly calm a little, and then went right back to looking nervous when Arl Eamon entered.

“Alistair,” he said.  “I asked you here so we could prepare for the Landsmeet and what comes after.” He looked at Ari. “Lady Cousland, I think we can handle this alone.  This is specific to the duties of the King.”

Ari straightened her back.  Alistair and Ser Gilmore exchanged a knowing look but said nothing. “I think you forget yourself, _Arl_ Eamon. “ she spoke calmly, but emphasized his title.  “With my brother missing and presumed dead, I am the rightful Teyrn of Highever.   As such, that makes me one of the highest nobles in Ferelden, aside from Alistair and the man we plan to overthrow tomorrow.  I would say that gives me more of a right to be sitting at this table than you.  So if you’d like to continue, please go ahead, _Arl._ ”

Arl Eamon shifted uncomfortably for a minute, while Alistair looked over at Ari and suddenly felt like this King thing wouldn’t be so bad with her there to keep others in their place.  Eamon looked up at Ser Gilmore.  “Who is he?” he asked.

“My bodyguard apparently,” Ari said rolling her eyes at Alistair with a smirk.

*** 

He entered their room, and saw that once again she was on the floor reading from the book.  She looked up at him as he closed the door, and he stopped abruptly upon seeing her face.  Tears were running down her cheeks.

“Oh Zev,” she cried out, bursting into tears the moment he closed the door.  He rushed to the floor, brushing his thumb along her cheek to wipe the tears.

“What is it mi amor?  What has you so upset? Are you hurt?” he asked.

“Zevran,” she cried, pointing to the book. “I know how the blight ends.” She started sobbing loudly. 

He picked up the book, hands shaking, whatever it was he knew it would be bad based on her reaction.  He read as it explained the blight would end when a Grey Warden killed the Archdemon.  That much he knew.  But the book explained that Warden would also perish when the killing blow was struck.  He knew Ari would never let Alistair take that blow, she had said many times Ferelden needed him to be King.  That left her and Riordan.  He felt his heart fall in his stomach, he turned and pulled her into his lap.  He started kissing her cheeks.

“Ari, mi amor, we will find a way.” He wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her head.  Unsure how he’d protect her this time.  He put his forehead to hers, “I will not lose you.”

After an hour she decided that she should talk to Riordan.  As a more senior Warden, he would be sure to know what the truth was.  Unfortunately, he only confirmed what the book had said, and that he was sorry that Duncan never had the time to properly prepare them.

Riordan took Ari’s hand and squeezed it. “Do not fret, Sister.  I am close to my Calling.  When the time comes I will take the final blow, and you will live.”

Ari gave him a sheepish smile, she knew he was trying to reassure her, but she still knew that should he fail, she would have to be the one to make the sacrifice.

*** 

The Landsmeet was going as could be expected, which meant not well at all.  The vote had ended in a tie.   _ Slave trading, kidnapping, plotting with Crows, how much dirt did she need to pull up for these idiots to stop supporting Loghain _ she wondered.  She thought for half a second that maybe the man would stand down just the same once they presented Alistair as the heir to the throne, but instead he attacked, and now he and Alistair were in a duel.  

Though much older, Loghain was proving to be an equal opponent.  They both battled, Alistair needing to use his shield to block a potentially deadly swing more than once.  Each time, Ari had held her breath and grabbed Zevran’s hand.  After a long battle, Loghain stopped and kneeled, putting down his weapon.

“I underestimated you Warden.” He said. “I thought you were like Cailan, another child wanting to play at war. I was wrong.  There’s a strength in you I have not seen anywhere since Maric died.  I yield and ask for mercy.”

“No.” Alistair yelled out, preparing his sword to take a final swing.

“Wait,” Riordan called out, walking to where the two warriors stood.  “There may be another option.  The Teyrn is a warrior and a general of renown. Let him be of use.  Let him go through the Joining.”

Ari’s eyes shot to Zev, and in them she saw hope.  He nodded to her.  “Ali, I think we should…”

“I didn’t just hear you say that,” Alistair turned and glared down at her. “You’re going to let him live? After everything he’s done?  This man abandoned our brothers and then blamed us for the deed.  He hunted us down like animals.  How can we simply forget that?” turning to Riordan “He tortured you, you’re just going to let that go?”

“But, Ali, you don’t…” Ari tried again to explain.

“No, name him a Warden and you cheapen us all.  I will  **not** stand next to him as a brother.  I won’t.  I’ve followed you Ari, and trusted you. I helped you bring Howe to an end.  But this is too far.” He yelled, causing Ari to flinch.

“Ali, just listen…” Ari pleaded.

“No.  You want him in the Grey Wardens? Fine.  But then I’m out.  I’ll take the crown, but we’re done Arianna.  I guess you were right when you said some people just are out for themselves. I hope to the Maker this was worth it.” Alistair then turned, storming out of the room.

Ari immediately looked to Zev.  She once again couldn’t read the expression on his face, which was rarely good.  She closed her eyes and rubbed her nose with her thumb and finger willing back the tears that were threatening to fall.  She had never seen Alistair that angry.  She tried to push back what he said.  There’d be time to process that later, she could not fall apart now, she reminded herself, right now she had to be Teyrna.  

When she opened her eyes back she nodded to the two men.  Loghain was looking at her with what almost looked like sympathy.  That struck her as odd, given this was the same man that had ordered her death a year ago when he hired the Crows.  The three headed off to Riordan’s room to prepare for the joining.

***

Loghain survived the joining.  Ari was at least grateful for that, if she had lost her best friend for a dead man, she’d really be pissed.  Instead she was just angry and in need of a drink.

There was a knock on the door. For a quick second she thought it might be Alistair come to apologize, but when it opened and she saw Morrigan and Leliana instead she felt a tightening in her chest, but she shoved it down.  Morrigan was carrying a bottle of wine and three glasses.  Behind her Leliana had a tray full of chocolates and sweet pastries.  She smiled, feeling blessed to have such amazing girlfriends.  When she was at Highever the closest she had to a real girlfriend was Delilah Howe, but even she was several years younger.  Ari just couldn’t find common ground with the other noble girls.  They were all about dressing proper, and sitting proper and talking proper and finding a husband.  All Ari ever wanted to do was hunt and fish and ride her horse and torment her brother and his friends.

“We thought you could use some girl time,” Leliana laughed, “Or at least wine and chocolates!”

“I’m so glad you’re here, both of you,” Ari smiled at them as they sat by the fire.  

Morrigan smiled, pouring the wine.

***

“Then there’s the matter of what to do with Anora.  You  _ could  _ marry her,” Eamon suggested.

“Maker no, taking the crown was already something I didn’t want, I’m not getting married too.” Alistair rolled his eyes.

“Well then you need to consider other options.  As long as she remains, she is a threat to you.” Eamon pushed.

Alistair looked at the empty chair to the right, wishing he had some help. 


	26. Anger

Zevran was leaning against the wall, one leg bent at the knee, foot leaning against the wall as well. He was polishing a blade when Alistair and Eamon exited the room.

“Alistair, a word, si?”, Zevran said, calmly.

“That’s King Alistair,” Eamon corrected him.

“He is not my king.” Zevran answered sharply, looking up and down at the man, understanding Ari’s dislike of him.  

“I’m not in the mood, Zev,” Alistair replied.

“I was not asking.” Zevran motioned to the nearby library. 

Alistair was starting to wonder when he could tell everyone to stop telling the King what to do, but he figured that it wouldn’t be wise to start with the former Crow that was holding a blade.

When they entered, Zevran motioned for him to take a seat, while he went and stood behind the other, leaning on its back, continuing to play with the blade in his hand.  Alistair looked at the elf, but his face was unreadable, he wasn’t sure if there was yelling about to start or not.

“Just tell me how you’re upset that I yelled at…” Alistair started, but was quickly interrupted by Zevran.

“I think you’ve talked enough,  _ King _ ” Zevran nearly spat out the last word.  “You listen now, si?”

Alistair nodded.  He’d forgotten just how scary ‘calm Zevran’ could be.

“If you are going to be a good king, you will need to learn to listen to all arguments before making a decision.  If you act like you did back there, you will be disposed of quickly, my friend.”

“But Loghain is a…”

Zevran looked at Alistair with a glare now, “I said  _ listen _ , this is your last warning.”

Alistair gulped and nodded.

“How much do you know about how the Grey Wardens end the blight?”

Alistair just stared.

“You may speak,” Zevran sighed, twirling the blade in a circle.

“We find the Archdemon, and kill the Archdemon.  Blight over, right?” Alistair replied, unsure now if this was the correct answer, slightly afraid of what Zevran might do if it was not.

“I thought you weren’t a Grey Warden anymore. That was your loud proclamation out there, so what is this ‘we’?  Lesson two, do not declare things unless you intend to stick to it.”

“Hey now just…”

Zevran threw the knife so that the point landed in the arm of the chair Alistair was sitting in.  The King stared at the knife, and then back up as Zevran, then back at the knife.  He closed his lips and pulled along them like a zipper.

“Good.  Now what you said is true, but there is more.  The reason it must be a Grey Warden is that when the soul of the Archdemon escapes it needs to go somewhere.    If just anyone were to kill it, then it would land in another Darkspawn, and the blight continues.  But because of the taint in your blood, it will go instead into the Warden.  But you are mortal, and this soul, it will consume this Warden, and kill the soul and the Warden.”

“Maker’s Breath” Alistair whispered, then quickly covered his hands with his mouth as he realized he had spoken.  Zevran either didn’t notice or chose to let it slide.

“Now Riordan has already declared that he will take this blow, being the most senior.  But if he fails, Ari has no intention of letting you anywhere near the dragon. ”

“Wait, so she would…” Alistair started to ask.

“Yes.  The woman I love will die to protect a man I am not so sure deserves to be King at this minute because she says it’s the right thing to do and that Couslands always do what is needed from them.” Zevran nodded, “And there is nothing I can do to stop it, I just have to sit and wait.  So when she saw a chance to put another Warden up as a backup to keep it from being you that needed to take the blow, she took it.  She did this to save you, and you spit in her face.  She knows you wish Loghain dead, she understands it is as it was with Howe for her.  Were it not to save your life, she would have let you kill him.  She knows this, and you should know this, that she would understand your hatred of the man.  That you do not trust her enough to realize she wouldn’t have done this without a good reason or to even allow her to explain her reasoning to you.  That is what hurts her.”

“I’m such an ass,” Alistair moaned into his hands rubbing on his face.

“Si.” Zevran nodded.  “You are supposed to be her best friend, no, her brother.  But the minute you don’t agree with her you cast her aside.  This is not how a woman like her should be treated.  This is not how one should treat someone he calls family.  You do not deserve her friendship if you are so fickle as to just toss her aside.”

Zevran suddenly got much closer, Alistair had no idea how the man had moved so quick.  His face was now inches from Alistair’s, his glare more intent than before “I will not spend what may be my last days with her watching her cry.  You will go now, make this right, or that rather annoying man will need to go find another long lost heir. Understand?”

Alistair nodded, and rose from the chair, causing Zevran to step back. “Thank you, Zev”

“Go. Fix this now before I decide it’s easier to just start with a new King” Zevran threatened, retrieving the knife from the chair.

*** 

Alistair walked through the partially open door to her room and immediately regretted it when three pairs of eyes turned his way and narrowed.  Make that four, as he realized even Fiss was giving him the evil eye.  Alistair swallowed and started to question if it might be less scary to face Zevran and his knife again.

“You want something,  _ Your Majesty _ ?”, Ari asked, her voice full of bile and sounding more than a little drunk.  The two women beside her stifled a laugh and a he heard a muffled “idiot” that he was pretty sure was from Morrigan.  Wonderful, thought Alistair, the only thing worse than a pissed off Ari, was a drunk and pissed off Ari with her friends.

He looked at his shoes that he had never realized before were so interesting.  “I was hoping maybe we could talk, Ari.” He said meekly.

“Oh!  So I’m Ari again?”, another chuckle from her friends, “Hear that girls.  I’m  _ Ari _ now.”  _ Maker take me _ Alistair thought.

“Should we stay?” Leliana asked, eyeing the King suspiciously.

Ari sighed.  “It’s fine, but leave the chocolates.” And then pulled on Leliana’s sleeve,  “Leli, find where Zev’s hiding, let him know it’s safe to come back?” she laughed, and Leliana nodded.

Morrigan passed murmuring a “moron” as she went by, followed by Leliana who made as if she was going to lunge at Alistair as she went by, causing the King to flinch back.  Even Fiss huffed as he walked by to follow Leliana in her search.

When they left, Alistair closed the door and took a deep breath before turning back around.  He started to wonder how he was going to ever be a successful King if a petite redhead scared him so much.

“Ari, I’m sorry.  I was an ass, a Royal Ass,” he smiled trying to clear the tension with a joke.  She just took a sip of the wine and stared at him.  Right, super pissed, no sense of humor he thought.

“I’m sorry, I should have listened to what you had to say, I should have trusted you. I..”

“Damn right you should have.” She mumbled into her glass, eyes still on him.

“I know now what you were trying to do.  I didn’t realize, all I could see was red and wanting to do nothing but kill that man.” Alistair said looking down at his shoes again.

“You know?  I’m guessing you didn’t just come to the answer on your own, hmm? So let me guess, Zev talked to you.” The King nodded. “So you’re here apologizing because he talked to you, and what, threatened you? And you feel bad now that you know the reason, but before that, you didn’t feel bad about how you just threw me aside.  You didn’t care that I was suddenly nothing, not your friend, not your sister, nothing.  You didn’t care until you knew it was to save your sorry ass!  Or maybe you’re just in here because he threatened you.  Are you even actually sorry or just scared,  _ Your Highness? _ ”

“Maker Ari, stop calling me that.  It’s just Ali to you, that’s all. Please, I’m sorry.  No I’m not just apologizing because of that, he just made me realize what an idiot I was.”

She snorted in her wine.  “No argument there” she muttered.

The door opened as Zev entered, looking at the two of them.  “Should I come back, My Warden?” he asked her.

“No,” she replied, “C’mhere.” She pulled him into a kiss when he was close.  “You can go  _ Your Royal Highness _ , I need to have angry sex with my assassin.”

Zevran laughed at her and then shrugged at Alistair.

The King left the quarters looking as if he’d been kicked.  When he entered the hall, Oghren shoved a mug of ale in his hand and hit him on the back.  “Come on, let’s go have a drink and forget our women problems.” he laughed as he led the dejected looking King off towards the dining hall.

Back in the room, Zevran laughed at the slightly drunk rogue in his arms that was kissing his neck.  “Are you planning to forgive him, mi amor?”

She laughed, and then kissed him again.  “I forgave him the minute his sorry ass came in the door.  But he deserves to sweat it out until morning.  Now strip and take me to bed Zev.”

“Your desire is my command, bonita” he chuckled, following her request.

*** 

The next afternoon the companions were gathered for lunch.  Ari entered holding hands with Zevran. No one had seen the pair since the night before, the look on Zevran’s face as he watched Ari left little doubt as to why.  Alistair held his breath as she walked in.

“Hi Ali,” she smiled as she reached over to grab a roll and kissed the top of his head, moving down near Leliana to sit.  Alistair wore a confused look as he watched her, then looked up at Zevran. 

The elf shrugged and said, “I find it is best not to question, just accept you are forgiven.”

They continued eating, laughing and talking plans for the day when Riordan entered to let them know that the Archdemon had been spotted, and they should prepare to leave at dawn.  Ari and Zevran exchanged a worried look, but rose to prepare with everyone else.


	27. The Archdemon

_ Cullen- _

_ Sorry this is written in haste my friend.  We are leaving soon to track down the Archdemon.  This is hard to say in a letter, but there is a good chance I will not survive.  Please know I have cherished our friendship.  A prayer or two at the Chantry wouldn’t hurt either. _

_ If we should not speak again, please be well and safe my friend.  And if I die, Cullen, please seek out Zevran.  If I don’t survive this battle, I worry what will become of him. _

_ \- Ari _

*** 

Ari was in the room packing for battle, Zevran hovering over her.  She knew he was worried that she may very well die, so she humored him instead of getting annoyed.  He had pulled her into an embrace when Morrigan entered the room.

“Morrigan,” Ari said, noticing the look of concern on her face as she turned to face her friend, Zevran’s hands remaining on her hips, as if afraid to break the connection, “Is everything alright?”

“I am well. ‘Tis you who is in danger.” Morrigan replied.  Ari could feel Zevran’s hands tighten on her hips, concerned at the possible threat.  “I have a plan you see.  A way out.  The loop in your hole”

She began walking towards the couple, sitting on the chair near them.  “I know what happens when the Archdemon dies.  I know a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, and that sacrifice could be you. I have come to tell you this does not need to be.”

“Does not need to be? What do you mean?” asked Zevran over Ari’s shoulder.  She cringed at the need she could hear in his voice.

“I offer a way out.  A way out for all the Grey Wardens, that there need be no sacrifice.” Morrigan explained.  “A ritual, performed on the eve of battle, in the dark of night.” 

“Just what sort of ritual is this?” he asked her. Ari shut her eyes for a second.  The last thing she needed was Morrigan in here filling him with false hope.  He was on the edge as it was.

“It is old magic, from a time before the Circle of Magi was created.  Some would call it blood magic.” She explained.  Ari’s heart sunk at those words.

“And from where did you get this ritual, Morrigan?” Ari asked, feeling Zevran pull her in a little closer.

“From Flemeth, of course.  I have knows about it for some time.”

Ari sighed.  She did not like where this was heading, or how she was sure this was affecting Zevran, but she felt she at least owed her friend a chance to hear her out before rejecting her outright.  “Tell me about this ritual, Morrigan”

“What I propose is this: convince Alistair to lay with me, here tonight.  And from this ritual a child shall be conceived within me.  The child will bear the taint, and when the archdemon is slain, its essence will seek the child like a beacon.  At this early stage, the child can absorb the essence and not perish.  The archdemon is still destroyed, with no Grey Warden dying in the process.” Morrigan explained.

“And why are you talking to me, why aren’t you down the hall talking to him?” Ari questioned.

“Alistair despises me.  You know this.  He rarely listens to reason… but he would listen to you.  You of all people could influence him.”

“Why Alistair? Why not Riordan or Loghain?” Ari asked.

“This is what my mother intended when she sent me with you.  She was the one who first gave me this ritual and told me of what I was meant to do.  If you care for him as you say you do, you will convince him to do so.”

Ari shook her head.  “So all I have to do is convince my best friend to give up his… to sleep with someone he hates, and sacrifice an innocent child?  Gee, why don’t I just jump on that?  Don’t you dare try to use my friendship with Alistair to your end.”  She shook her head, and felt her heart thud as she could feel Zevran exhale and go nearly limp, the promise of a solution gone.

“Zevran, surely you see the logic to this.  What is the alternative, if Riordan fails, do you really think she will allow the King of Ferelden to make final blow?  You must see this will save them all.”

“The answer is no, Morrigan. “ Ari answered, angry that Morrigan would stoop so low as to try to use Zevran to get what she wanted.  While he didn’t say anything, she felt Zevran nod behind her.

“You are both fools.  I will not stand by and watch you waste this opportunity.  Die, if you feel it is worthwhile, or be overshadowed, I care not.” Morrigan stood, turning to leave.

“Morrigan, please don’t go”, Ari sighed.

“Would that I could have helped you.  That is your doing, however, and not mine.  Fare you well my friend.  I do what I must, now and so shall you.”  She turned and walked out the door, Ari just watching in shock as one of her closest girlfriends walked out of her life.

Ari turned around to see Zevran sitting on the bed, his head in his hands.   She walked in front of him so that she was standing between his legs.  He lifted his head, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his head along her chest.

“Zev?” she asked, running her fingers through his hair.

“I know why you said no, I don’t disagree with you, mi amor.  But I cannot pretend to be ok, knowing what you must do.” His arms squeezed around her.  “I will stand by you, but I cannot pretend that I am not terrified of what tomorrow will bring.” He stood now, running his hand through her hair, pressing his forehead to her and pulling her close, just breathing in her scent to commit it to memory, praying to the Maker this was not his last night with her.

*** 

They battled their way through the Alienage, rescuing as many as they could, when word came that the Archdemon had been spotted on Fort Drakon.  They all rushed there as quickly as they could.  The guards there let them know that Riordan had already made his way up the tower.  Everyone watched, to see what they could, the Archdemon flying around, with a small figure of a man on its back.   Zevran prayed to the Maker to let Riordan succeed.  He felt his heart fall into his stomach when he saw the man fall from way up high to the ground.

“We need to get up there now,” Ari yelled out.  “Wardens Alistair and Loghain, you’re with me.  Wynne, you too.  Everyone else, we need you to hold the line down here, buy us time to get up there and stop this.”

She turned and walked to Zevran who was off to the side, away from everyone else.  “Please, I must go with you.” He begged.

She shook her head, “If you’re there I’ll be more worried about keeping you safe then doing what I have to.  I need you here Zev.”  She then took his hands, pulling him to her.  She pushed her lips to his as he backed her into the wall behind her.  They ran their hands along each others’ bodies, the kiss becoming more intense.  Zevran tried desperately to put everything he felt for her into this kiss.  When they broke apart, he held her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.  “You will return to me, mi amor.”  He kissed her once more, and then let her go to lead the party to battle.

*** 

They’d been battling for at least an hour.  Wave after wave of Darkspawn attacking, protecting the Archdemon.  The armies they’d amassed with the treaties helping to battle them off.  Ari was thanking the Maker that Wynne was there, more than once needing a regeneration spell from her.

The Archdemon let out a yell as it fell.  Now was the time to strike.  Ari readied her weapons.  She turned to look at Alistair.  “I love you brother,” she told him.  “Be a good king.” She turned to run for the dragon when a strong pair of arms stopped her.

She looked to her side, expecting to see Alistair, but was shocked instead to see Loghain.  “Lady Cousland,” the man spoke, “I was a fool.  I did what I thought was best for Ferelden, I never wanted anything more.  Give me the chance to set things right.”

“Loghain, that’s not why I saved you.  Help Alistair, help him be a good king.” She nodded, trying to turn to run.

He shook his head.  “My wife was once my life.  I loved her with all my heart.  When she died, all I had left was Ferelden.  Anora was grown, she did not need a father anymore.  You, my Lady.  You have a love” he said touching her cheek, “Keep it safe, nurture it and cherish it.”

Before she could answer, the man took off at a speed she would not have thought he could possess and before she could blink, he was slamming his sword into the head of the Archdemon.  A large shockwave emitted from where they stood, knocking everyone back.

*** 

From the ground, they saw the shockwave.  Guards all around started cheering, but there was a small group that stood, with their breaths held.  Zevran said his tenth prayer to the Maker that day while they waited, no one making a sound.

Thirty minutes later the doors to the tower opened.  It was as if they were moving in slow motion, but all Zevran could see was the small redhead in the King’s arms and she wasn’t moving.  _ No, Maker No _ , he thought.  His knees starting to give out, Leliana reaching him just in time to keep him held up.  Alistair carried Ari into a tent where they disappeared.  Zevran felt as if everything suddenly became muted.  His heart clenched in his chest, his throat becoming too tight to breath.

He didn’t notice Wynne come up in front of him, until her hand was on his shoulder.  He couldn’t look her in the face, he didn’t want to hear what she had to say, didn’t want to hear she had died a hero.  Then he felt Leliana pat him on the back and he realized he had missed whatever Wynne had said.  “What?” he squeaked out, looking at the mage.

“I said she’s fine, Zevran.  I had to put her to sleep because she broke her leg and was in so much pain.  I’ve healed it, she’ll be awake soon.  Go, see her.”  He barely heard the last of her sentence as he was running to the tent.

Zevran stepped into the healer’s tent to see Alistair standing beside her bed, holding her hand.  Her eyes were still closed, her even breaths telling him she was still asleep, but she was breathing, Maker, she was breathing.  He moved quickly, needing to be at her side more than anything.  Alistair looked at him when he approached.

He passed her hand to the elf and said nothing, turning and leaving them alone.  Zevran sat on a nearby chair, never letting go of her hand.  He brushed his fingers along her face, pushing back her hair.  He needed to reassure himself this was real.  She was really here, she’d really come back to him.

After a few minutes her hand started to flutter in his and her eyes slowly opened.  When they focused on him the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen came across her face.  “Zev.” she said, just a whisper.

He knelt on the ground to be closer to her,  when he did she ran her fingertips through his hair.  “Is it really over?” She asked him.

He nodded, unable to stop the tears from falling anymore.  “It’s over mi amor.  You came back to me.” He kissed her lips softly and crawled onto the cot with her, needing to hold her just as she needed to be in his arms.


	28. The Hero

“Are you going to let me up, I have a letter to write.” Ari giggled, wiggling in his arms.

“No.  You can write your templar just fine like this. I won’t even look.” Zevran answered her, his arms holding her firmly on his lap.

“Fine,” she pretended to be exasperated.  She smiled as she began to write her letter to Cullen.  Two sentences in Zevran took the quill from her hand and wrote in her letter.  “I thought you said you weren’t looking?”

“I’m an assassin, my Warden.  You should know better than to believe anything I say.” He teased her brushing back the hair from her face and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“At least let me finish my letter,” she giggled as he started to nibble on her neck.

“Write faster,” he whispered, smiling as she wriggled against him.

***

_ Cullen- _

_ We did it.  And I’m still here (obviously). I don’t think Zev plans on letting me out of his sight anytime soon though.  Maker, he’s hovering now, even as I’m writing this. _

**_Please tell Ari a little hovering never hurt anyone – Z_ **

_ See!  Anyway it was a success.  Alistair is King, and I need a vacation. _

_ Now that the blight is over, it’ll be time to relax.  Perhaps we will travel to visit a certain Templar!! _

_ Stay safe. _

_ \- Ari _

***

_ Ari – _

_ I have been holding my breath since your last letter.  I agree with Zevran, you can allow the man to hover for now.  He nearly lost you, let him hover if he needs. I know how anxious I’ve been, I can only imagine how he feels.  I hope I never know what it feels like to have to watch the woman you love go off into battle knowing she may not return. _

_ I would love a visit, however the travel will need to be a little further away, as I’ve been given a transfer to Kirkwall, in the Free Marches.  I hope that you are able to visit. _

_ You’ll be able to reach me there starting next month. _

_ -Cullen _

*** 

The Grey Wardens had been victorious, and Fereldens had gathered to rejoice in their new King.  He looked every bit the part of a King, standing tall in his golden armor.  Ari couldn’t have been more proud of her friend.

Alistair stood at the top of the stairs, looking out at the gathered nobles and dignitaries.  “My friends,” his ‘King’ voice called out, “we are here to honor those that saved Ferelden.  She gathered armies from all corners of Ferelden, and it was her leadership that led to the end of the blight.  I present to you, Grey Warden Arianna Cousland, the Hero of Ferelden.”

The crowd cheered at the King’s proclamation.  Alistair proclaimed that the lands that had belonged to the Howes were now property of the Grey Wardens and would be used to help them rebuild the order.

The proclamations were done, and now it was time for celebration, large numbers of nobles gathered to honor their new King and the Hero.  Zevran stood near the back wall, allowing her to meet her public, heart filling with pride for all she had done.  Leliana approached, handing him a glass of wine.  He clinked their glasses as she smiled, joining him to watch.

The crowd around them had broken back, and Zevran could see them both clearly.  He saw Alistair whisper something to Ari and then turn her around.  Ari looked around, and Zevran pushed away from the wall so she could see him.  He waited for her eyes to find him, but instead he saw her stop looking when she found someone else.  She ran from Alistair and jumped into the arms of a dark haired man who lifted her up and spun her around.  He watched as the man put her down and then pulled her into a hug again.  Her mabari was bouncing up and down around the man, barking excitedly. 

He realized this was Nathaniel Howe, coming back to claim his betrothed.  From the look of it, she wasn’t disappointed to see him either.  How dare this man think he could just walk in now.  Where was he when they were fighting their way across the land.  It was not he that helped her through her nightmares.  He prepared himself to challenge the man to a duel.  His hands started to clench and unclench as it moved towards his blade.

A cough came from beside him. He saw Ser Gilmore standing next to him.  “I believe, Messere Arainai, that in the Cousland family, Messere Fergus punches her sweethearts, not the other way around.”

Zevran raised an eyebrow and looked at him confused.

“That’s Fergus.” Ser Gilmore clarified, nodding to the couple.

“Fergus?” Zevran asked.

Ser Gilmore nodded, “The King located him two days ago. Wanted it to be a surprise for today.  He’s been in a Chantry hospital near Orlais all this time recovering.”

Zevran turned back to look at the two just in time to meet Ari’s eyes and see her wave him over.  He walked over with a strange feeling in his gut, something he couldn’t place, until he realized it was something he hadn’t felt since he was a green recruit in the Crows – nervous.  He watched the siblings chatter away as he got nearer, Ari grabbing his hand and smiling when he was close enough to touch.

“Zev, this is Fergus.  He’s alive, I mean of course you can see that, but he’s here. Oh Fergus I’m so happy, I’ve already said that haven’t I?  And not just because this means  _ you _ get to Teryn and I can just sleep for the next week.  I was so scared, I thought I’d lost you, don’t ever scare me like that again or I’ll kill you.”

The tall man laughed, “There’s my pup.  Loving to anger in the blink of an eye.” He turned his gaze to Zevran, offering a hand, “Zevran, good to meet you.  Fergus Cousland, his Majesty speaks very highly of you, as does my sister,” he smiled, giving Ari a wink.  “Pup, mind if I steal your young man for a while?”

Ari looked at them both, and nodded. “But Fergus,” she said leaning in, “be nice.  Don’t forget I’ve killed a dragon and an Archdemon.  Taking on you will not be any trouble.” She flashed him a smile, and bent in to kiss his cheek before turning to walk towards Leliana.  “Come,  _ Fiss”  _ she said, emphasizing the dog’s name for some reason.

Zevran watched her walk away, and steeled himself.  Surely this man, her brother, the Teryn of Highever, was going to tell him that he should forget her.  That his sister was nobility, that a former Crow, and an elf no less, had no place in that world.  He knew what he wanted, but was unsure if challenging her only remaining family was wise.

So it was a surprise when the Teryn slapped him on the back with a laugh “Maker, when did she get so scary?”

“Somewhere between killing a high dragon and the Deep Roads I believe,” Zevran replied feeling some of the anxiety leave him.

“Come, let's walk.” Fergus gestured towards the gardens.

*** 

The night air was warm, almost like an Antivan spring.  There was very little breeze, and from where they stood, most of the noise from the party had been drowned out.  Zevran had taken part in more missions and assassinations then he could count.  They’d fought Darkspawn and dragons and bandits.  None of that was as terrifying to him as the man standing with him in the garden with the Cousland emblem on his shield.

“She is remarkable.” Fergus finally spoke, pulling Zevran out of his train of thought. “I’d heard stories of a party making their way through the land, but I never thought it was her.  I thought….” He sighed.

Zevran finished for him, “You thought she had died in the attack?”

Fergus nodded.  “She feared the same about you.” Zevran explained.  “But she never gave up trying to find you.  Every town we came to she would ask for news of you.  I am sorry.  For what happened to your family, to you.”

Fergus nodded again, and looked at the stars for a minute.  “Life is fleeting, Zevran.  Never forget that.  In an instant the thing you hold most dear can be ripped from you.”

Fergus then turned to look at the Crow.  “What of you?” he asked. “What are your feelings for my sister?  I would apologize for being so forward, but now that I’m the head of the family, I feel it is my duty.”

Zevran nodded. “I have never met a woman like her before.”

Fergus snorted.  “That’s a very nice way of saying she’s a handful,” he laughed.

“Perhaps, but she is a wonder, and I would take on all of her temper for another one of her smiles.”

Fergus laughed again, “You haven’t really seen her temper then.” Zevran smiled, “When she’s really angry, watch out. You may need that Crow training.  She’s like a mabari when it comes to a grudge.  Did she ever tell you what her dog’s name means?”

“No, “ Zevran shook his head.

“About 5 years ago, she wanted to go on a hunt with me and my friends.  Of course who wants their kid sister tagging along on a trip with the boys.  So we left her home.  Father got her the mabari that week to get her to cheer up.  She named him Fiss.  ‘Fergus is Stupid and Smells’”

Zevran couldn’t help but laugh, picturing a 15 year old Ari full of vinegar, taking revenge on her brother.

“Maker, after that she’d always turn to look right at me when she’d call out that dog’s name.” Fergus laughed.  He then looked at Zevran with a more serious look.  “Do you love her?”

Zevran felt his heart skip, he prayed the man would not tell him to leave. “I do. It is she that taught me such a thing was even possible.”

Fergus nodded, watching the nervous elf beside him.  “Breathe, man!” he laughed.  “Andraste’s ass, I’m not here to tell you no.  Besides, do you really think she’d do what I told her even if I was?  It’s still my job as the big brother to scare you a little I guess.” He chuckled again.  “I guess I’m not doing so bad if I can make a former Crow go that pale.  Maker, I remember how scared I always was every time I talked to Orana’s father.  Even after we were married I always felt like he was judging me, and finding me inadequate.”

He then placed a velvet bag in Zevran’s hand.  “Here.  This was our mother’s.  I was going to give it to her, but… I think it’ll mean more to her if it’s from you.  If I’m not being too presumptuous.” 

Zevran opened the bag peering inside and smiled at Fergus.  “So, tell me about Antiva” the Teryn asked, with a smile.

*** 

When Zevran reentered the main hall there were less nobles than before, in fact it was more their companions and closer supporters than anything else.  Despite the smaller crowd he was still unable to find Ari or the mabari at her side.  He then noticed Oghren point towards a door to a balcony.  Zevran nodded his thanks and walked to it.

He saw her standing there, looking out at the moon.  She was alone except for Fiss, lying at her feet.  He stepped through the door and closed it behind him.  Ari turned her head and a smile came across her face when she saw it was him.  “Nice to see your nose is still intact.” She laughed.  “I trust Fergus is also whole?” to which he nodded.  Zevran came behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.  She leaned into him, her hands covering his.

“When I was growing up in Highever, there was this one balcony high up, where you could see for miles, especially during a full moon.  It was my secret spot where I could go, and forget the day, just be at peace and alone.  Except Fergus and Nate found out about it, but they mainly let me have it to myself.  This view reminds me of that.” She turned her head slightly, and Zev lowered his, giving her a sweet kiss as their lips met.

“So you had a good talk with my brother?” she asked.  

“Very,” Zevran purred, squeezing her slightly before removing his arms as she moved forward to look over the balcony.  “I used to think my life in Antiva was perfection.  Wine and women whenever I desired, and respect from people throughout the city.  I thought nothing could ever be better.  Then I met you, my beautiful Arianna, and suddenly I realized how empty my life was.  I thought nothing was missing, but I was wrong.  You taught me what it is to love and be loved, you showed me what a life is really meant to be.  I never thought of a future much in the Crows.  Now, when I close my eyes, there is not a future I can imagine without you in it.”

Ari didn’t turn around.  She could barely speak, her eyes filling with tears hearing Zevran pour out his heart to her.  It was causing hers to feel like it was overflowing.  She turned around to tell him so, but he was gone.

Then she looked down, and saw he was on his knee.  

Suddenly she felt warm, she couldn’t breathe, and her heart started racing in her chest.  What was he doing? Was he? He couldn’t be.  Not Zevran Arainai.  Before she could react he had taken her hand and kissed it.  “Mi amor.  My Ari,  will you be my Queen?” he asked, placing her mother’s ring on her finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok everyone, say it with me -- Awww!


	29. Presenting Messere and Lady Arainai

About an hour later the companions (along with Fergus) had gathered in the study for their own celebration, which included several bottles of wine, and a game of Wicked Grace.  Zevran and Ari entered hand in hand.

“My friends,” Zevran announced, getting all their attention, “the most beautiful Arianna has agreed to be my bride.”  He then pulled her hand up to his lips, kissing it.

Everyone let out a cheer.  Leliana rushed from the table and pulled Ari into a hug.  Fergus stood up and shook Zevran’s hand.  “Welcome to the family, Zevran.”

Zevran nodded and then turned when Alistair clapped him on the back.  The King lifted his glass of wine.  “A toast, to Ari and Zevran, who found love during dark times.  May they have a long and happy union.”

“Here, here,” the rest called out as they raised their glasses.  Zevran kissed Ari on the cheek as he pulled her close to him again, unsure when he’d ever been so happy.

“So when is the big day?” Wynne asked them.

Ari looked at Zevran, who just gave her a warm smile.  They were both anxious to start their future.  “I guess as soon as we are able.” She answered.

Alistair asked. “Is there anyone not already here that you’d want at your wedding?  I happen to know the King very well and he can make things happen.” He winked at her.

Ari looked around the room, she was surrounded by so many friends, and miraculously her brother.  It was nearly everyone she loved.  Nearly.

“Morrigan and Cullen.” She replied, feeling sad that they were not there to celebrate with them.

Alistair shook his head.  “I don’t know where Morrigan is, I wish I could give that to you sister, but getting Cullen here should not be a problem.  What do you say?  We could plan something for once he’s here.”

Zevran looked at Ari, they turned to the King and nodded.  

Leliana squealed from across the room.  “OH!  We need to go shopping, Ari!  Shoes, and a dress of course, and I’ll do your hair.  Oh this is going to be perfect”

Ari laughed.  “Leli, calm down.  We’ll start tomorrow, ok?  Tonight let’s just play cards.”

*** 

Ari was in her room, in a robe, the dress she’d be wearing sitting on a hook on the wall to keep from getting wrinkled.  Leli had just finished the last of Ari’s hair, it was a beautiful twist of braids, interlaced with ribbon and jewels.  She was laughing as she kept smacking Ari’s hand to keep her from touching it. There was a knock at the door just then.

“If that’s Zevran I’ll kill him” Leliana laughed as she made her way to the door. “He’d definitely mess up your hair.”

She opened the door and just stood there staring.  Ari watched her face, whoever she was looking at, she was smiling at, and looking up and down.  “Leli, are you going to let whoever it is in or not?” she laughed.

“Um, Ari.” Leli said closing the door and walking over to Ari. “There’s a really good looking templar at the door.  Something you want to tell me?  Oh wait, is he for me?”

“Stop it” Ari laughed, she went to the door and opened it.  Before her stood the tall man Leli was currently giggling about.  He had his usual blonde curls, and a smile that she was sure made the female mages all swoon back at the Tower.  Unlike last time she saw him, he wasn’t in his Templar armor.  Instead this time he wore the Order’s dress uniform.  Black trousers, with a sharp looking dark red button up jacket, which was form fitting, showing off his broad shoulders.  Just above his hips was a black sash, and attached to that, a sword, silver in color and well polished.  She could see why Leli had lost the power of speech looking at him.  If it wasn’t for a certain elf, she’d probably swoon herself.

“Cullen” she called out, throwing her arms around his neck to pull him into a hug, his arms wrapping around her as he laughed.  “You sure clean up nice, come in, come in.” she smiled pulling him into the room.

Leliana stood near the chair Ari had been occupying, still gawking.  “Don’t mess up her hair.” She said, immediately blushing when Cullen looked over at her.  Ari had never seen Leliana act this way, it was kind of cute seeing her so tongue tied, Ari thought.

“I just got to Denerim,” he explained.  “I was afraid I was going to be late, but based on your state, I guess I’m early.”

“You’re fine,” Ari laughed, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze before letting it go. “I’m just so happy you made it.  I hope this isn’t messing up your plans for reassignment?” she suddenly felt guilty.

He shook his head.  “No, I leave for Kirkwall in two weeks, but even so, I wouldn’t miss this.  I see you got him to stop hovering.” He laughed.

“Only because Leli threatened that he couldn’t see the bride before the wedding and kicked him out this morning.  I’m sure he’s around the castle somewhere planning how to sneak back in.” Ari laughed.

Leliana leaned over and whispered something to Ari who nodded.  “Cullen, I am so very happy you are here, and I want to catch up, but I’ve been informed it’s time for me to get dressed and get to the Chapel.”

Cullen rose, as did Ari.  He leaned down and kissed her cheek, “I look forward to getting a dance with the bride.” He bowed towards Leliana and departed.

As soon as he was out of the room, Leliana seemed to find the power of speech again.  “Andraste’s arse,  _ where _ have you been hiding him? And are there more?”

Ari gave her friend a playful smack on the arm and laughed as Leliana helped her into her dress.

*** 

Zevran stood in the front of the Chantry.  He was dressed in black trousers, with a white flowing top, covered with a grey vest.  Beside him stood the King, in golden armor.  Standing around them was Sten, Cullen, Oghren and Wynne.  Zevran kept turning to look first at the Reverend Mother and then back at the floor.  He said a prayer that if he passed out, Alistair would catch him.  He couldn’t remember ever feeling so excited, anxious and nervous at the same time.   He tugged nervously at his collar, and heard Alistair shuffle where he was.  He had a feeling that if Isabela could see the mighty Zevran, lover of so many, was willingly standing here ready to promise himself to one woman for eternity, that she’d be rolling on floor with laughter.  He started wondering when it got so warm in here, shuffling nervously when he heard the door to the Chantry open and his eyes grew large while he looked to the door. 

Fiss entered first, carrying a rose in his teeth, a grey ribbon, the same color as Zevran’s vest, around his neck.  He walked up the aisle and stopped beside Zevran, who patted his head.  Next entered Leliana, wearing a green dress, carrying another bouquet of roses and Andraste Grace.   She stood beside Wynne, but kept glancing towards Cullen whenever she thought he wasn’t looking.  

Zevran’s breath stopped when he saw Ari at the doorway on Fergus’ arm.  Her dress was white, with flowing sleeves, and form fitting to the waist, becoming flowy at the skirt.  The top of the dress was a beautiful satin while the rest was more cotton.  In her hand she held a single red rose. 

Zevran had been all over Thedas in his years as a Crow.  He’d bedded many women, of all ages, shapes and sizes.  He could not think of any of them whose beauty compared to the woman walking down the aisle to him.   He had no idea how the Maker found it fit to gift him with her.

Her eyes never left his as she walked up the aisle.  He saw Fergus lean in and whisper something to her that she laughed at.   _ Maker _ , he thought,  _ I swear to do whatever I can to hear that sound forever. _  When she smiled at him as she stopped with Fergus before him, handing her rose to Leliana, he felt his heart grow to where it felt like he might explode.  He felt like dancing, running in circles and throwing up all at the same time.   That feeling completely left him, replaced by a sense of peace the second Fergus placed her hands in his.  

Fergus leaned in to Zevran. “She’s all yours now. Take good care of my little sister, because I’m not taking her back.”

Ari laughed and playfully swiped at her brother as he moved to stand beside the King.

She turned back to look at Zevran again and gently squeezed his hands.  “You ready for this?”

He smiled at her, releasing the breath he’d been holding. “More than anything” he replied, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles.

The Reverend Mother began, “The Chantry teaches us that the Maker was incomplete, and in darkness before he took a bride in Andraste.  Such as it is with Zevran, finding the light to his darkness, and the missing piece to his heart in Arianna. “

Whatever she said after that, Arianna couldn’t remember.  Everything was a blur except for the man in front of her.  Everything else around them seemed to be moving at a high speed, and the words from the Reverend Mother were just noise.  But Zevran, he was pure love and when she looked at him, her heart beat faster.  The next thing she knew he was slipping a silver ring on her finger, and she on his.

When the Reverend Mother announced they were now husband and wife, Alistair clapped him on the back and yelled out, “Kiss her!”

Zevran pulled her to him, he put one hand on the back of her head, the other around her waist.  It started as a soft kiss, but quickly grew more heated when he heard her moan, and he pulled her closer.

“Hey, knock it off, big brother standing over here,” Fergus called out with a laugh, causing the rest of the party to laugh.

*** 

The reception was intimate and fun.  Alistair had spared no expense making it so that it was full of music, food, wine and ale. Ari was dancing with Fergus when Cullen asked to step in.  “I believe I was owed a dance” the Templar laughed as he kissed the back of her hand.

“So, Kirkwall?” she asked.  “You’re going to be breaking a lot of hearts leaving Ferelden.” 

Cullen chuckled, “Somehow I doubt that.  But yes, I’m looking forward to serving in a city instead of a circle.  I think it will be good for me to get away from here.  The nightmares are still too much.  Kirkwall has to be more peaceful.”

“Just promise me you’ll still write,” Ari smiled at him.

“But of course” he bowed, blushing when he caught Leliana’s eyes upon him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Ari's dress: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/208221182749024482/
> 
> Awakenings coming up next <3


	30. Vigil's Keep

Zevran and Ari returned to Denerim castle from their honeymoon in Ostwick.  They heard it was beautiful there, not that they would know, barely leaving their room for the three weeks they were there.  The attack happened the next night.  

The would be assassin entered through an open window high up in the castle.  He moved silently through the bedroom.  Dressed in all black, he blended into the barely lit room.  The assassin moved to the bed, only his eyes showing under the hood.  He raised his blade, to take the killing blow.  Before the blade made it’s hit there was a blow to his head, and the assassin fell harmlessly on the floor.  Before he blacked out, he looked up, to see an elf above him.  “Today is not a good day for you, my friend” the elf commented in an Antivan accent.

He tied up the unconscious man, and whistled.  Fiss entered. “Sit” Zevran ordered, and the mabari sat upon the man while Zevran exited the room and returned to his own.  He entered to see the King sitting upon the bed, Ari near the fire.  Both turned to look at him as he entered and nodded to them both.

Alistair let out a sigh.  “I’m so grateful you both got here when you did.  I’m sorry you had to cut your trip short.”

“Ali, we couldn’t very well stay there after hearing that Orlais had hired an assassin.  I’m just glad we made it back in time.” She looked to her husband, who nodded in agreement.

“He’s in the room under Fiss.  I suggest I get him down to the dungeon now and begin interrogations.  Find out who he is, and if there will be more coming, si?” Zevran said.

Alistair nodded and gulped, looking down.   _Maker_ , he thought.  Only a month into being King, and already there was an attempt on his life.  Had his friends not suddenly appeared yesterday with the news, he would have been asleep in his bed, dead right now.

“Allow me a minute with my bride, your Majesty” Zevran requested.  Alistair nodded again, looking very pale, and left.

Ari rose, and crashed into his arms as soon as Alistair had left.  Zevran embraced her tightly.  “I was so scared, I’m so glad you’re ok.” She sobbed into his chest.

“I told you my queen, I will always come back to you.” He pulled her chin up with his fingers and kissed her deeply.  Her hands worked their way around his waist as she pulled him closer.

“Go be your scary, sexy self and find out what you need to, then come back and ravage me, my husband” she smiled.  She loved saying that word, husband.  It didn’t quite roll off the tongue yet, but it made her smile every time she heard someone call him that, or when she uttered it.

He kissed her again, with a passion that held a promise for when he returned, and then reluctantly exited their room to do his job as the King’s Spymaster.

***

The interrogation uncovered a deeper plot, to not only kill King Alistair, but to bring all of Ferelden back under Orlesian rule.  The mastermind behind it all was unknown, but there was a name given before the assassin was killed, a guild master near the border with Orlais.  Much as it pained them to part so soon, Ari agreed that Zevran was the best one to track down the conspiracy and put an end to it.  She hated to see her new husband leave Denerim without her, but she knew if he did not, her best friend would most likely die, and Ferelden would fall into civil war, or worse, be occupied by Orlais again.

They had stood on the balcony the night before he left, the same one he had proposed on, holding onto each other tightly.  “I swear to you, mi amor, I will return to you.”

Ari squeezed him tightly, feeling her heart hurt, knowing he must do his job, but making it none the less hard to let him go. “Don’t break your promise to me, Zev.”  She wanted so much to ask him to stay.  She knew if she did that he would stay without a moment’s hesitation, but she couldn’t put Alistair’s life at risk for her own selfishness.

“Never,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head as their arms were wrapped around each other, memorizing how the other felt in their embrace, not knowing how long it would be before they were able to do so again.  When the Chapel bells struck midnight, he pulled the blue hood of his cape over his face, and pulled her in for a final kiss.

***

“You’re bored,” Alistair said, looking at her out of the corner of his eye while standing over a map of Ferelden that he’d been studying.

“Maybe.  What makes you think that?” Ari asked.

“Because Zevran’s only been gone two weeks and you’ve started challenging the maids to duels.” Alistair stood up and looked directly at her.

“Well…. They should probably know how so they can defend the king.” She pushed along a marker on the map.

Alistair raised an eyebrow and put the marker back in its original spot.  “Stop scaring my help, Ari.  Vigils Keep still needs a Warden Commander.  You interested?”

Ari was willing to do just about anything to get her mind off the heartache she was feeling.  She agreed and was saddled up and heading out the gates the next morning.  As she prepared to leave, a young woman stopped her at the gates of the castle.  She introduced herself as Mhairi and explained that she had heard the story of her and the King, and wanted to join the Wardens.

“Well, we are hardly in the position to turn away volunteers,” Ari smiled at the girl. “Very well, you can accompany me to Vigils Keep.  We can perform your joining once we get there.”

When they arrived at the Keep, it was under attack.  It was surreal to Ari, here were the same lands she played on as a child.  This was somewhere she was going to live once upon a time ago, as a Howe.  It would be almost funny that she was here now, as the Warden Commander, if it wasn’t all so sad and terrifying.

As she and Mhairi, who had proven to be good with her sword, made her way through the besieged keep, they broke through a door in time to see a mage set a Darkspawn on fire.  Two dead templar lay at his feet, and the Darkspawn that was on fire joined a pile of his toasted friends on the ground.  The mage was dressed in blue robes, his blonde hair tied in the back.  The man looked to them and then the dead bodies.

“Er.. I didn’t do it”, he shrugged. “Oh, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not broken up about them dying, to be perfectly honest.  Biff there made the funniest gurgling noise when he went down.” He said, gesturing to one of the dead templars.

“And who are you then?” Ari asked, holding her hand back to keep Mhairi from attacking.  She was willing at least to hear the man out before striking him down.

“You may call me Anders, my dear lady.” He said, bowing and taking her hand to her lips. “I am a mage, and sadly, a wanted apostate”

“An apostate? At Vigil’s Keep” Mhairi questioned.

“You weren’t here when we arrived.  I’m sure I would have remembered such a lovely woman as yourself.” The mage, Anders, winked at her.  Behind her she could hear Mhairi giggle, while Ari rolled her eyes when Anders turned back around to face the dead Templars. “We were just stopping here on our way back to the tower.  Just a short rest, they said, and now they’re dead.  Such a shame.”

“Very convenient,” Ari said, looking at the mage warily.

“Well, tell you what, I’ll help you, and we can discuss what comes later, once all these bastards are properly put down, yes?” Anders replied, flashing her what she was sure he thought was a seductive grin. _He’s worse than Zev ever was_ , she thought to herself.

Ari nodded, “Fine, we could use the help, but I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

“And I you,” he mumbled in reply, following the women out of the room, Mhairi eyeing him and blushing the whole way.

Anders quickly proved his worth, his fire and lightning spells helping to make quick work of the Darkspawn.  They heard sounds of battle ahead, and burst though.  After stabbing a Hurlock in the head and watching him fall,  Ari thought how this was exactly the therapy she needed for her broken heart. It soared when she looked up and saw the dwarf.

“Oghren!” she called out, the dwarf waving before turning back to battle the Darkspawn before him.

After the battle, Oghren ran up to her.  “Aha, there you are!  When these Darkspawn showed up, I thought ‘just you wait until the new Commander gets here and you’ll be spitting teeth out of your arses!’  Sure enough, here you are!  Good on you.”

“What are you doing here, Oghren?  Not that it’s not good to see you.” Ari asked him

“Came here thinking I might be a bonafide Grey Warden like you and Alistair.” He grinned to her.  “Eh, where’s the elf?”

“Not here.  We can talk about it later, ok?” she asked, hoping her old friend would pick up on her voice.  He obviously did as he nodded and asked no more questions.  It was rare for him to be so perceptive, so she was grateful.

As they walked out, Anders walked near the dwarf. “So, you know the new Commander then?” he asked, nodding towards Ari.

“Aye,” the dwarf nodded. “Fought through the Blight with her.”

“Was she that impressive then?  She’s a beauty in battle.  I can imagine what she’d be like in other…activities.” Anders smiled, watching the woman ahead of him, out of earshot.

“Husband’s a former Crow, and scary as the Maker.  Might want to keep that in mind before you go getting any ideas, mage.” Oghren grumbled, marching forward.

Anders stopped and gulped, and ran to catch up.  “Noted.”

They cleaned out the Darkspawn they had found, including a creepy one that actually talked.  When they entered the main courtyard, a scout ran up to the Commander.

“Commander Cousland,” the scout bowed.  “We have a prisoner.  We have been holding him to wait for you.”

Ari followed the scout.  “It’s Commander Arainai.  What’s the prisoner been taken in for?” she asked the man.

“Mainly looting, Serrah.  We caught him with some jewels and a few belongings of the former owners.”

When the four of them entered the dungeon Ari stopped so suddenly that Anders nearly ran into her.  Not that he would have minded so much.

“Nate?” she said, barely above a whisper, looking at the dark haired man in the cell.

The prisoner stood and looked at her.  He hadn’t changed much since she had seen him last.  He still had broad shoulders and long hair, but he now had a small beard, and was much more muscular, having spent the years as an apprentice to a blacksmith “You…. You’re the Commander? The Hero?”

She nodded and started to approach the cell. “Nate, you’re alive.”  She signaled for the guard to let her in his cell.

As soon as she was in, he pinned her to the wall.  The guards started to move but she held her hands up.  “Leave us,” she commanded them.

“Your safety is important,” the guards said.

“Anders, he hurts me, set him on fire.  Now the rest of you, leave.” She ordered, hoping that having less of an audience would calm the man.

“Nate, talk to me,” she tried to keep her voice calm.  Even though she’d known him her whole life and she was pretty sure he wouldn’t hurt her, the anger in his eyes, and the fact that he still had her pinned by her arms to the wall was scaring her a little.

He growled at her, his face distorted with anger.  “ You murdered my father, Arianna!”

That he had called her Arianna instead of Ri stung.  She had been Ri to him since she could remember.  She shook her head, fighting back the tears threatening to fall.  “Nate, no.  I don’t know what you heard but ….”

“You killed him.  What, did you think I would just let that slide?   Is this more what you were expecting?” He grabbed her face and kissed her, hard, forcing his tongue into her mouth.

Ari slapped him, “How dare you!” She wiped at her mouth, no longer able to hold back a few tears.  “You arrogant bastard.”

He looked at the hand that had just slapped him and grabbed her wrist, holding it up.  “You’re married.” He glared at her again.  “To Aidan no doubt.  Did you just hold our wedding, substitute in him for me?” Nathaniel pushed her against the wall and grabbed her hips.  “Does he have the slightest clue how to satisfy you?  Does he know how to make your toes curl?” He pushed his hips to hers as he continued to growl at her, clearly taunting her.

Ari pushed him off of her and yelled at him.  “What in the Maker is wrong with you?  No, it’s not Aidan.  You don’t know him.  And clearly you aren’t aware of what happened.  You think you just know everything because you’re the great Nathaniel Howe.  It’s like you’re sixteen all over again.”

“You didn’t seem to think I was so full of it then.  Seems I remember you following me around like a love sick puppy,” he mocked her.

“Just as full of yourself as ever!” She growled at him, the joy of seeing him earlier was now gone.

Nathaniel Howe sighed, all the venom leaving his voice, “And I see your temper hasn’t changed any.  I came here…. I thought I was going to kill you. To lay a trap for you.  But then I realized I just wanted to reclaim some of my family’s things.  It’s all I have left.  So just do whatever you’re going to do, Arianna.  I have nothing more.  You’ve seen to it that my family name means dirt.”

“Nate, your father did that, not me.  If you want to redeem your family name so badly, here’s your chance.  Seneschal,” she turned to the man standing near Oghren, “ I evoke the rite of Conscription.”

“What? No! Hang me first!” Nate yelled at her.

“You’d rather be dead than help?” she looked at him, pleading.

“You’d rather have a Grey Warden that wants you dead?” he snarled.

“Some of my best friends have wanted me dead.” She then turned to the scout. “Let him out, and give him what he took, they are his.”

Nathaniel stepped out of the cell after she did, but still just glared at her.  She turned and walked out of the dungeon.

“So, know what’s up with those two?” Anders asked, intrigued as Nathaniel passed by them.

“Oh you know, classic love story.  Boy and girl grow up together,  they fall in love, become betrothed. Boy’s father calls off the wedding and sends him to the Free Marches.  Boy’s father kills girl’s family, girl kills the boy’s father.”

Anders stared at the dwarf with his mouth slightly open.  “They tell love stories different in Orzammar then in the Circle.”


	31. The King visits

Ari emerged from the dungeon, Nate fast on her heels.   

“Soldiers on the road, Commander.  They are flying the King’s banner.” The guard saluted her.

She nodded and moved to the front gate to greet them.  Ari bowed as he approached, she tried not to giggle at the absurdity of bowing at the same man she’d traveled around and shared a tent with, but she made him King, so she really only had herself to blame.  

“It looks like I arrived a bit too late.  Too bad, I rather miss the whole Darkspawn-killing thing.” The King laughed. “Ari, really, stand up.”

She rose, missing the glower on Nathaniel’s face.  Of course she’d made herself cozy with the King.  She was not the same girl he once thought he loved, what he’d heard about her made it clear that she was ruthless and only out for herself.  What had she done to earn the King’s loyalty, he wondered. 

“How are you, Ari?  You aren’t hurt, are you?  Please say you’re not hurt, Zevran will kill me!” he smirked.

“Your Majesty,” she said, smirking when he rolled his eyes at that honorific. “I am just fine, I believe you are safe from him.”

Alistair sighed, “I’d much rather stay here.  Denerim’s so boring without you around to harass Eamon.  You get to have all the fun.”

“Seriously? I’ve been gone a week,” Ari laughed.  “And this was your idea.”

“Hey, what am I, chopped Nug-liver?” Oghren piped up.

“From the smell, that’s not a bad guess,” Anders joked.

“Oghren!!  What are you doing here?” Alistair asked, with a large grin.

“I’ve come to join the Grey Wardens.  Guess you two rubbed off on me.” The dwarf winked at the King.

“Joining the Wardens, eh? Well good luck with that,” Anders added.

A dark haired Templar stood forward, she was unfamiliar to Ari.  “King Alistair! Beware.  This man is a dangerous criminal.”

“Oh, the dwarf is a bit of an arse, but I wouldn’t call him dangerous.” Alistair joked, winking at Ari, which in turn caused Nathaniel to roll his eyes.

“She means me”, Anders spoke, looking down.   _ Looks like my freedom is short lived again _ , he thought.

“This is an apostate we were in the process of bringing back to the Circle to face justice,” the angry Templar said, pointing a finger in Anders chest.

At that moment, Ari decided she did _not_ like this woman.  Here she was coming into _her_ new home, threatening one, that was at the moment, one of _hers_.  Taliesen could probably tell her why that was unwise, if he were still alive.

“Oh please,” Anders rolled his eyes. “The things you people know about justice would fit in a thimble.  I’ll just escape again anyhow.”

“Never!  I will see you hanged for what you’ve done here, murderer!” the Templar yelled.  Ari flexed her fists. Nathaniel noticed and took a step back.  He’d been socked with her right enough times in their youth to know he didn’t want to get hit by an errant throw.  _ Will not punch the Templar, will not punch the Templar _ she thought to herself.

“Murderer?  But those Templars were…. Oh what’s the use? You won’t believe me anyhow.” Anders said, feeling his heart sink.   He’d only had a few months away from the Circle, and it was looking more and more like he’d be lucky to only get solitary this time.

Alistair watched the exchange, marveling at the fact that Rylock still was standing, as he was pretty sure Ari was ready to hit the woman.  “It seems there is nothing left to say. Unless you have something to add, _Commander_?” 

Ari gave Alistair a huge grin, knowing exactly what he was implying to her. “I do.  I hereby conscript this mage into the Grey Wardens.”  She made a point of looking right at the Templar while doing so.  Anders watched with amazement.  No one besides Solona had ever stood up for him before, and here the Commander, who he’d only met a few hours ago was doing just that.  And sticking it to a Templar at the same time.  He had a feeling he was going to need a reminder that somewhere there was a Crow to watch out for.

“What? Never,” yelled out the woman.

“Really, Ali, did you miss me so much you had to get someone else to be bossy?” Ari winked at the King.

“You will address his Majesty with honor, and not by his name.” Rylock growled at Ari.

“Woah, whoa whoa,” the King got in between Ari and Rylock to stop the impending fist he was sure was coming from the redhead, “I’m right here, I can speak for myself, Rylock.  And the Commander here, Ari, will address me however she feels fit.”

“Thank you, Royal Bastard,” Ari curtseyed. Alistair ran his hand over his face and shook his head at her while grinning.   Behind her Anders chuckled.

“Rylock,” the King continued, “I do believe the Grey Wardens still retain the Right of Conscription, no?  I will allow it.”

Rylock looked at them both, and realizing she was defeated, walked back into formation.

“Lovely traveling companions you have Ali.” She laughed.

“Well, what about you?” the King chuckled.  “So far you have a surly, and probably drunk, dwarf, and an escaped mage.  How about him, what’s his story?  He looks awful grumpy.” Alistair indicated Nathaniel.

“King Alistair, meet Nathaniel Howe.” Ari watched Alistair’s face while making the introduction.

“Howe?” he cried out. “ _ You’re _ Nathaniel…. Wait, why do I feel like I’ve heard something about him?” 

“Because you did, but you were drunk.” Ari laughed.

“Oh! …OH!” Alistair’s face widened with recognition.  “I  _ know _ who you are now.  Oh you’re…”

“He knows who he is Ali, we don’t need to tell everyone else.” Ari interrupted, not needing the whole Keep to know her history.  Nathaniel raised an eyebrow, curious at what the she’d told the King about him.

“Oh, yes, right.” The King replied, straightening himself up.  “Well, still, Zev would be loving this.  Which reminds me, I have this for you.”

As Ari took a letter from him, and placed it in her pocket for later, Nathaniel watched the interaction with interest and wondered how much he didn’t know anymore about the girl he’d known since her birth.  Here she was on a first name, and apparently joking, basis with the King, and the King had now mentioned this ‘Zevran’ twice.  That was not a name familiar to him, and he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous that this was probably the mysterious husband.  He’d been away for years, he knew he couldn’t expect her to not find someone else, and just yesterday he was planning to kill her, so he found it curious it would even affect him.

*** 

_ Cullen- _

_ I found your missing mage.  I’ve decided to keep him as a Warden, so sorry. Finders Keepers! _

_ I’m in Vigil’s Keep now, leading up the Ferelden Wardens. This was once the Howe residence.  I played here as a child, it’s so odd being here now as a stronghold.  Memories seem to be around every corner. _

_ Zevran is away on a mission for the King.  He’s only been gone less than a month, but already I miss him so much. _

_ How is Kirkwall?  Is it what you hoped?  Please write soon. _

_ \- Ari _

*** 

_ My precious Ari- _

_ I fear that this conspiracy goes farther than we thought.  It will take longer for me to track it down, I hate that this is keeping me from you, my dear wife.  Please try not to drive the King too crazy, or beat up on his guards too much. _

_ My arms feel empty without you. I miss your touch, your laugh, the sounds you make when I touch you.  Please know mi amor, that even though we are apart, you are not far from my thoughts.  I promise, I will return to you.  I do not know when I will return or if I will be able to safely write again, but know that you are in my heart. _

_ I love you _

_ -Z _

*** 

The Joining had completed a few hours ago, all had survived except Mhairi.  Ari read Zev’s letter, and held it to her chest.  She looked around at the room they had given to her.  They were considerate enough  _ not _ to give her Howe’s old room, but this was almost worse.  This had been Nate’s room, the last time she was in here was something she decided she probably shouldn’t think about while holding a letter from her husband.  A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts with a start.  She wiped at the tears on her cheek before answering it.

“Nate?” she said, answering the door.  He stood in the hall, in the newly issued Grey Warden uniform. “Um, come in.”

“It feels odd having to be told I can enter my own room.” He nodded as he entered.

“Yeah,” she tugged at her fingers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t ask for this… I could… I could let you have it, I’ll find another.”

He shook his head and stood behind one of the chairs near the fire, resting his arms on the back.  “No, I don’t need your pity.” He ran his hand along the back of his neck and sighed.  He had meant to come here to show respect, but one look at her and the anger had returned.  He took a deep breath to start again.  “Look, Arianna, I don’t know how to feel about all this, I just, I wanted to come and tell you that I’ll respect you as the Commander.  You won’t need to worry about me causing trouble.  I will serve honorably.”

She nodded and spoke barely above a whisper, “Never had my doubts, Nate”

She smiled at him.  Nathaniel felt a flutter when she did so, and he pushed it down, reminding himself that she belonged to another man now.  That this was the same woman that had murdered his father.  “Now,  I’m really tired, so unless you want the room back, I’m going to kick you out.”

He nodded once again, and then took his leave.  After the door closed, she opened her pack and took out the large shirt and held it to her nose.  It still smelled like him.  Zevran  had left it for her when he’d left on his mission, and she put it on and climbed into bed, hoping for a peaceful sleep.


	32. Phylacteries and Sisters

In the weeks since arriving at Vigil’s keep, they had acquired another companion in Velanna, or as Ari  called her in her letters to Alistair,  _ elf Morrigan _ .  They’d also added a dwarf, Sigrun, who was much less of a drunkard than Oghren, and  finally, a spirit of Justice.  Ari still wasn’t so sure allowing him to help was a good idea or not, as he seemed to be quick to temper and didn’t understand humans so well.  

Currently, she was playing a game of Wicked Grace with Oghren, and Anders.  Justice was there as well, but he didn’t play since they couldn’t get him to understand that bluffing wasn’t unjust, so he just watched.  Nathaniel approached them.

“Commander, I request to accompany you to Amaranthine.  I have word that my sister is living there.” Nathaniel bowed.

“Of course, Nate, and stop calling me Commander already, will you?” Ari shook her head, he was still being, well,  _ distant, _ was all she could think.  She had hoped by now their old friendship would have emerged, but he still refused to talk to her about anything that wasn’t Warden business.  He wouldn’t look her in the eyes when he did talk to her and while he was respectful, he was also often curt with her.  She worried that the damage done to them from his father’s actions would be permanent.

“And what can I call you, my lady?” Anders asked, looking up at her from his cards.

“The soon-to-be winner”, she answered, ignoring his flirting.  Nate took his leave without a reply, just his patented brood.

“Why do you offer to help him?  His father killed your family, shouldn’t you want him to pay for that?” Justice asked.  Anders shook his head at Justice trying in vain to get the spirit to realize that was not a good path to head down.

“How would that be justice? Nate wasn’t even in the country when that happened.  It was his father’s actions, and his father’s paid for it already.  Nate’s already paid enough for his father’s crimes, he’s lost everything.  Besides, even if he doesn’t feel the same, I’m his friend, Justice.  You help your friends.” Ari explained, placing coin in the center.  Justice said nothing, but seemed to be considering what she had said.

“How would you feel about if a friend asked for help with something that wasn’t exactly legal?” Anders asked her as he discarded and drew another card.

“Depends on what you need help with, Anders, and why.” She smiled at him.

“Well… hypothetically, if a mage were able to possibly get a hold of his phylactery so that the Circle couldn’t track him anymore, would that be something you’re ever consider helping with?” He looked at her hopeful.

“Does it require you to harm anyone?” she asked him, with an eyebrow raised. 

“No, I mean if one were looking to get a phylactery, no.” Anders shook her head.

“Well then Anders, hypothetically, I’d remind the mage that he’s one of mine, and as such, I will protect him.  And since getting the hypothetical phylactery would help keep this mage safe, I would help.” She answered,  patting his leg.  

Anders picked up her hand and kissed the back, “I thank you, my lady”

She shook her head at him and laughed.  “You better stop that before Zevran gets back.”

“I can’t help it when around such beauty,” Anders smirked.

“And now you’re just trying to distract me, but it didn’t work.  I win!” she cried out, throwing her hands down.

“Nice try, sparkle fingers.” Oghren burped.

Anders shrugged.

*** 

As they prepared to head out, Ari stopped near a bin, hearing a scratching noise from inside.  She readied her weapon in case it was a Darkspawn.  When she peered inside however, what she found was an orange cat.  She pulled it out, and immediately Anders’ eyes widened.

“Anders, any chance you’d consider keeping a cat?” she asked noticing how intently he was watching the squirming bit of fur in her arms.

He immediately scooped it up from her, and she nearly laughed at his enthusiasm.  “Thank you Commander” he grinned looking like a kid at Satinalia.  “I’ll call you… Ser Pouce-a-lot.”

Ari laughed, “Really? That’s what you’re calling him?  That’s a silly name.”

Nathaniel pointed at her mabari. “Fiss.”

“Point taken.  Fine, Ser Pouce-a-lot it is” she laughed, amused at how excited Anders was about the cat.

*** 

They left Nathaniel to find his sister while Ari, Oghren and Anders went to meet Anders’ contact about his phylactery.  The contact was an elf named Namaya.  She seemed unhappy to see Anders, and kept looking Ari up and down while she explained to Anders that the cache was in a nearby warehouse.  She made it clear that she didn’t want to see Anders again, as she walked past she looked at Ari and said, “Do yourself a favor, don’t waste your time on him.”

Anders turned around, looking a bit embarrassed.  “Sorry about that, Commander.  I guess you should have an explanation.” 

Ari shook her head, “Spurned ex, cache is where your phylactery is, I think we’re caught up, right?”

Anders sighed, clearly feeling relieved and nodded.  “Thanks Commander.”

“Let’s go do that hypothetical thing,” she winked at him, leading the way to the warehouse.

Something was off in the warehouse, her rogue senses tingling as they entered.  Why would the cache be here unguarded?  She signaled to Oghren to keep his eyes open as they searched around.  They found the cache in a back room.  As soon as they entered, three Templars pushed their way in.  Ari recognized one immediately as the templar that had been accompanying the King, Rylock.

“And here I almost believed the infamous Anders wouldn’t take the bait.” Rylock said.  “You made a poor choice with this one Commander.  Anders will never submit, not to us and not you.”  

“I don’t think you have any idea who I might submit to,” Anders laughed and gave Ari a seductive look.  Ari shook her head, even with the threat of death, he still found time to flirt.

“Make sure this murderer is never a bother to anyone ever again.”  Rylock instructed the other templars.

“He’s been conscripted into the Grey Wardens, with the King’s approval.  You have no authority to take him” Ari glared at the templar, hands flexing near her daggers.

“I don’t know what you do to inspire such loyalty, but it won’t save you this time. Now come with us.” Rylock said, reaching for Anders.

Oghren chuckled beside Anders, earning him an odd look from Anders.  “You think it’s funny my life is at risk?” he asked.

“No. She said you’re one of hers, mage, right?” he indicated Ari.  Anders nodded in reply. Oghren laughed, “The Commander there is about to kick that templar’s ass for thinking she can touch you.  This will be  _ good _ !”

As if on cue, Ari let one of her blades go, right through one of the other templar’s neck, killing him quickly.  The other hand was in a fist and connected with Rylock’s nose. “I told you already” she swung another punch, “you will not take him.” Rylock fell to the ground, holding her face, with Ari standing over her.

“Now you have a choice,” she growled, holding her other dagger in her hand. “You can be stupid, and wind up like your friend there.  Or you can be smart, and leave now,  _ without _ Anders.”

Anders stood with his mouth agape.  It had all happened so quick, he could barely process it.  “Wow!” he whispered.

“Told you.” Oghren chuckled again.  “Don’t piss off the Commander.  She only looks tiny.”

The remaining templar started to make a move towards Ari, seeing that she was focused on Rylock.  Without even looking, Ari threw her other blade, hitting the man in the chest.

Rylock scrambled to get up, shot Anders a look and took off out the door.  Anders was still staring at her, and suddenly broke into a huge grin. “THAT was incredible!!  How’d you do that thing with the knife, you didn’t even look?”

“My husband taught me,” she said, retrieving her daggers. “Now let’s get your phylactery and get out of here before she changes her mind and comes back.”

As they were walking out, Anders mumbled to Oghren that he’d be replaying that fight in his head tonight at lights out.  Oghren chuckled, “Me too, mage.”

*** 

While Ari was beating Rylock to a pulp, Nathaniel was catching up with his sister.   She was married to a storekeeper, Albert, and Nathaniel was to be an uncle.  

“But, how can you be happy living like this, Delilah? “ he asked.  “How could you not be trying to restore father’s honor? Our honor?”

Delilah sat at the kitchen table and patted Nathaniel’s hand. “Brother, all the things they are saying about father, they’re all true.”

“No,” Nathaniel shook his head, “He wouldn’t do that.  The Couslands were our friends.  There must have been a reason.”

“There was, Nate, but I don’t think you want to hear it.” Delilah answered.  “He changed, after mother died, you know this.  But it got worse after you and he had that fight and he sent you away.  He became cruel.  He was angry.”

“But that doesn’t explain why he’d attack the Couslands.  He must have been defending Ferelden from something.  I heard they were betraying us to Orlais.”

Again Delilah shook her head.  “Nate, I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you.  But you don’t seem to want to believe me that it was all his doing.” She took his hand in hers, “Nate, he blamed Arianna for everything.  He blamed her for turning you against him.  He blamed her for losing his heir when you left for the Free Marches.  He hated her.  The things he’d say about her Nate, you would have wanted to kill him if you heard them.  I heard him talking to his Captain the night of the attack.  He killed them all to punish her.  But that wasn’t enough for him, he wanted to destroy her.

Nathaniel put his hands on his head and then looked up.  “Tell me what happened. Please.” He asked, bracing himself for what more could have possibly happened.

*** 

Anders, Oghren and Ari were sitting in the center room around a table, drinking a toast to Anders new freedom.  “Thank you Commander, for everything.  For what you did today, but also for Ser Pounce-a-lot.” He grinned as he pet the cat sitting in his lap.

“Absolutely.  I never would have pegged you for a cat person though,” she laughed.

Anders face became a little more somber.  “In the Circle… when I was in solitary, there was a house cat that would often come down there.  She was my only company during that time.  I guess getting Ser Pounce just reminded me of her.  Having a pet, it just means I’m really free.”

“Oh, Anders,” Ari said sadly.  “I’m so sorry” 

She pulled him into a hug.  She couldn’t see while in the hug that Nathaniel had entered behind her.  Anders looked right at the man while in the hug and stuck his tongue out at him.

Nathaniel coughed, causing the two to break out of the hug. “Can I talk to you alone?” he asked the Commander.

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure. You ok, Nate?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Just… let’s talk about it in private, Ri”.  She couldn’t help but feel her heart soar hearing her old name again.

*** 

_ Ari- _

_ Kirkwall is busy but great.  We have lots of refugees pouring in from the blight.  Half my job right now seems to be helping the city guard keep the peace.   The Knight-Commander here has taken an interest in my career.  I know the Knight-Captain is retiring in six months, so maybe a promotion will happen? _

_ So, you found Anders.  Keep your eyes open, not just because he’s a mage.  He has a knack for charming everyone, and when he’s bored, he likes to play pranks.  I can’t in good conscious say it’s ok that you didn’t turn him into the Templars,  but I learned long ago not to argue with your decisions.  You have a tendency to get loud otherwise. _

_ I hope you are able to arrange a visit at some point. _

_ -Cullen _


	33. Forgiveness

Ari entered her office with Nate right behind. She sat at one of the chairs, offering him a seat nearby.  He sat, with his head in his hands.  He was angry.  He had already sparred in the training square before even coming in to talk to her, but that had not abated his anger.  He was angry at his father for his actions, but more than that he was angry with himself for having left, instead of staying and protecting her.  He was angry for not knowing what his father had planned.  He was angry for having gotten complacent in the Free Marches, even falling back to his old womanizing ways.  It wasn’t until he heard of his father’s death (murder he had believed then) that he had even thought of returning to Ferelden.

“Nate?” she asked, with concern in her voice.  “Are you ok?  Did something happen with Delilah? Is she ok?”

He looked up and shook his head. “No. No she’s doing better than ok.  She’s married.  And there’s a baby coming.”

Ari clapped her hands together, “You’re going to be an uncle!  Oh that’s happy news Nate, you should be happy.”

He nodded, “I am, about that I mean.  But she made me realize I’d been an ass.  I was still convinced you were somehow wrong about my father.  About everything that happened.  I’m sorry, Ri.  It was worse than I thought.  I didn’t know. She told me everything.” He looked down again at the floor, and then up to her “everything, I just…”

Ari moved from her seat so that she was kneeling on the floor between his legs.  She reached up and threw her arms around his neck and hugged.  It took him a few seconds, and then his arms came around her pulling her close, sinking onto the floor beside her.  “Nate.  It’s ok.  I mean it’s not ok, but it’s not your fault, it’s mine.” She said.

He sat quiet for a minute trying not to cry again.  He reveled in the feel of her in his arms again, the smell of her hair, until he remembered she was married to another man.   He pulled back just enough to look at her.  “Why do you think any of this is your fault?”

“Nate you turned against your duty because of me.  My family is dead, everything that happened is because of that.  What happened to me is because of…”

“No,” Nathaniel pulled her into his chest and ran his hands along her arm.  “Ri, none of this is your fault, I promise.  And you didn’t deserve any of this.” He looked down at her and rested his head on hers.  “The fight with my father was because he wanted me to control you, he wanted me to hurt you, to make you scared of me.  I would never do that to you.  It’s not your fault, if I had known for one second how sick my father was, I would have figured out some way to stay and protect you, I swear.”

Ari started to cry in his arms.  She was letting all the hate and anger for herself go.  Even though Zevran had told her this same thing, it felt different, hearing it from Nate who had been there at the beginning.  “Nate, all I need is for us to be ok again.  You were my friend for most of my life. I miss that. I miss you.”

“We’re good, Ri.  Always” he said, holding her tight while she cried.

*** 

After that, things got much better in the Keep.  Nathaniel even started joining the others for games of Wicked Grace.    He and Ari would often share stories from their youth with the companions.

At the moment, they were sitting in the courtyard.  Ari was training some of the newer recruits in skills that would help with fighting the Darkspawn.  She was currently demonstrating a thrusting, spinning move with one of the female Wardens, showing her how to use her smaller size to her advantage.

Nathaniel and Oghren sat on the ledge of the main building, Nathaniel restringing his bow, while Oghren sharpened his Axe.  They’d be leaving for the Blackmarsh soon, and wanted to be ready.  Fiss sat beside Nathaniel.  The dog seemed to remember him from years back, and had taken to following him around whenever Ari was busy or away from the Keep.

“He’s a good man? He’s good to her?” he asked Oghren, his eyes never leaving Ari.

Oghren let out a large laugh.  “Good man? You know he was a Crow right? My understanding is he was the one hired to eliminate her and Alistair by your father.  But, aye, he treats her like a precious jewel.  They’re like two broken pieces, made whole when together.  Sorry if that’s not what you were hoping to hear.” Oghren looked at the rogue.  

Nathaniel shook his head. “No Oghren.  That is what I wanted to hear.  She and I…. well that’s long gone.  I just want to know that she’s ok.  We were friends before anything else.”

Oghren chuckled.  “Oh, you don’t have to worry about her.   I think they were having some kind of lovers’ quarrel when I first met them.  Trust me, she put him in his place real quick.”

Nathaniel laughed at that, “Yes, that definitely sounds like her.  She had her brother and I running for our lives many times.”

*** 

They had been fighting their way through the Blackmarsh for hours. The veil to the Fade was particularly thin here.   It seemed like half the battles had been against demons.  Activating the ancient devices they found along the way seemed to help start to seal the veil.  Finally deciding it was safe enough to rest, they set up camp.

They sat around the fire, Nathaniel cooking a few nugs they had caught.  Ari had offered to help, but Oghren distracted her by saying he needed help with setting up the perimeter.  As they sat to eat, Ari and Nathaniel sitting on one side, Anders and Oghren on the other.

“When I was a boy,” he said, “I used to dream of coming to the Blackmarsh and fighting all manner of beasts.”

“Is it everything you dreamed it to be?” Ari laughed.

“Worse,” he smiled at her, taking a bite from his stew.

She smiled back at him over her bowl, starting to take another spoonful, and then dropping it into her bowl.  “Ouch!” she cried out and shook her hand.

Nathaniel placed his bowl down and hers and took her hand, “Let me see”

“It’s fine, just a scrape from earlier, it’ll heal.” She chided him, shaking her head at his over protectiveness.  He clearly forgot this was the same girl that could out hunt both him and Fergus.

“You happen to have a perfectly capable healer over here. Come over, Commander.” Anders called out, scooting over to make room for her.

She sat next to him and watched in quiet fascination as his hands started to glow blue while he began to knit the sking back together.   Nathaniel resumed his dinner, but couldn’t help but lift an eyebrow while watching them across the fire.  Anders, having completed his healing, still held her hand as he leaned over to whisper something in her ear.  A large smile crossed her face at whatever he had said to her, and she squeezed his hand back.  He thought she was smarter than falling for a few pretty words, but what he was seeing before him seemed to prove otherwise.

*** 

Ari came running through the main hall of the Keep. “Shit, shit, shit, shit.”  She came to a stop in front of Anders, looking frantic. “Anders, where’s Nate?” she sounded panicked.

He shrugged. “Dunno.  Something  _ I _ can help you with, my lady,” he wagged his eyebrows at her.

“Yes, you can stop that.  And then whatever you have to do, keep Nate from going out into the courtyard!” she looked at him and to the door and back.  Whatever was outside had her in a frenzy.

“Can do, Commander!” he saluted, and then took a bite of his apple.

She let out a frustrated sigh, and ran for the door.  “Just do it, Anders, it’s important.”

A few minutes later, Nathaniel entered the hall, Fiss in tow as usual.  “Hey Howe!” Anders called out, still eating his apple while leaning on the wall.  Nathaniel contemplated ignoring him.  The mage got on his nerves with all his lame jokes and double entendres.  Mainly, however, it was because of how much time the mage seemed to be spending with the Commander lately that was grating on him.  The two of them were often whispering, thick as thieves.  The fact that Anders often seemed to try to bait him into jealousy didn’t make him happy either.  He decided to see at least what the man wanted before deciding for sure to ignore him.

“What is it you want to waste my time with now?” he asked.

“I was just told to keep you inside.” He shrugged, seemingly unfazed by Nathaniel’s tone.

“Why? By who?”

“Our beautiful leader.   She didn’t say why though.” Anders answered with a smirk, clearly trying to bait Nathaniel.

Nathaniel didn’t have time to probe anymore, as the door to the courtyard slammed open and Fergus Cousland stormed in, followed quickly by Ari.  Fergus stood a good head plus taller than Ari, nearly the same height as Nate.  His hair had grown longer than the last time Nathaniel had last seen him years ago, and he had a beard now. 

Fiss caught sight of him and barked excitedly rushing towards the man.   Unfortunately the bark drew Fergus’ eyes in the direction of the two men.  His eyes narrowed as soon as they fell upon Nathaniel.   Nathaniel held back a gasp when he did.  Even though they were the same age, Fergus looked years older.  His face had become gaunt, and his eyes looked haunted, even through the visible anger in them now.  He clearly was suffering every second that his family had been gone, and Nathaniel instantly felt sympathy for his old friend.  

Ari quickly moved in front of her brother, and said something to him.  The elder Cousland growled, and then turned in the direction of her office, not saying a word. 

*** 

“What is he doing here?  You haven’t taken up with him again, have you?” Fergus was pacing in her office, gesturing wildly.

“Fergus Cousland!” she scolded him.  “I know you’re in mourning and I let you get away with a lot because of that, but you are crossing a line.  I’m married to Zevran.”

“And where is this husband of yours?  And why is  _ he _ here?” Fergus continued to pace.

“Fergus!” she yelled, placing herself in front of her brother.  Even though she was much shorter, he stopped instantly, eyes upon her for the first time since they had entered the office.  “Sit!” she yelled at him.  He sat immediately in the chair by him, Fiss moved alongside, placing his head in Fergus’ lap.

“Are you quite done now?” she asked, still stern, but quieter.

“Yes, sorry, Pup,” he sighed, his hand coming upon Fiss’ head.  He started scratching behind the mabari’s ears.

“Fergus, I understand you’re upset.  No one is blaming you for your anger, or your grief.  But if you’re directing it at me, or at Nate, it’s misplaced.  I’m sorry that you didn’t get a chance to face Rendon Howe on your own, but I killed him for the both of us.  But you shouldn’t be taking that out on Nate, he’s no more to blame for this than either of us.  He was your friend once.  He was Oren’s Maker-father.  You know he loved Oren just as he loved you.  He’d never do anything to hurt either of you.”

Fergus sighed again.  All the anger from a few minutes ago seemed to leave his body at once now that the adrenaline from hearing Nathaniel was here was gone.  He fell back against the back of his chair.

“When’d you become the smart one,” he smiled at her.  “I thought I was supposed to be the wiser, older brother looking out for you.”

“Oh Fergus, silly Fergus.  I’ve always been the smart one.  The pretty one too,” she laughed, happy to have him smiling again.  “Maybe you should try talking to him.” She said softly, trying not to rile him again.  “You might find he’s hurting too, probably could use a friend as much as you.”

Fergus didn’t say anything, just continued to pet Fiss, he nodded with his eyes on the dog.


	34. The Months that Followed

_ My beloved – _

_ We are crossing into Orlais.  We have found the root of the issue, I cannot say more in case this message is intercepted.  I may not get to write again until I return to Ferelden.  Please know I take you with me in my heart.  It aches, I ache so much for you.  How I wish I could hear your voice, feel your touch.  I miss the smell of your hair, holding you in my arms.  I miss you in my bedroll, under me, your breath in my ear, hearing you cry out my name.  I even miss your temper if you can believe it. _

_ I do not know how long we will be there, but please know I will return. I will not break my promise.  We will succeed and I will return. _

_ -Z _

***

That afternoon Ari had to perform her duties, not as the Warden Commander, but as the Arlessa of Amaranthine.  Today that meant hearings in court.  The first was a farmer who the Keep’s guards had caught stealing two bushels of grain from the supplies.

“This is a crime punishable by hanging,”  the Seneschal advised.

“Hmm…” Ari said, then turned to the accused.  “What do you have to say, to explain this?”

“Teyrna, my family, they are starving, and I need the grain to feed us and our sheep, so that I may be able to sell them.” The man replied, looking afraid for his life, which he probably was she decided.

“Captain,” she addressed the guard to her right. “Can we confirm that?”

“My lady, yes” the guard replied. “Many have been suffering after the blight.”

“Very well,” Ari spoke.  “Ser, you may take her two bushels and go.  Captain, arrange for us to parcel out grain to those in need.  This farmer here has already been given his share.” She smiled at the farmer.  Her father had taught her to always show kindness and compassion to those without.  She hoped she was honoring him today.

“Thank you, oh Thank you Commander!” The farmer bowed to her, with obvious relief.

“Next up,” the Seneschal explained, “The Lady Liza Packer.  She has claimed that the land being farmed by some of the blight refugees that has settled here belongs to her.”

“Yes,” the woman spoke.  She was dressed in the finest of Orlesian fashion.  Her hair was in a bun, and her face was pointy and cruel looking.  “Howe made certain promises to me, some were written on paper.  Payment for my help during the blight.  Those lands belong to me rightfully and I expect to be given what is owed to me.”

Ari just stared at the woman, mouth slightly open.  Was this woman seriously trying to get Arianna  _ Cousland _ to help her by saying she helped Howe and he made promises to her?  Was she really that stupid?  She turned to look at the Seneschal.  He was no help, but did seem to be reading her mind as he just shook his head slightly.

“Lady Packer,” Ari spoke, keeping her voice as calm as possible. “You are right, I will give you what is owed to you, for giving aid to Rendon Howe during the blight.  Captain?” she motioned to her right again.  The Lady Packer’s smile grew in anticipation “Please see to it that the Lady Packer here is thrown off my lands and banished.  The land remains with the refugees.”

The Lady started sputtering, her anger quickly coming to her face.  “But… but….Commander, Arlessa..”

“It’s Arianna  _ Cousland  _ Arainai _. _ ” Ari corrected her, a smile coming across her face as the Lady Packard realized the implications of that name.  After she was carried out by the guard, Ari turned back to the Seneschal.  “Ser, I believe I’ve had enough for today.”  The Seneschal nodded and dismissed court.

As they were clearing out the court, Anders pushed off from the wall in the back where he had been standing.  He laughed as he approached Ari.  “I think you rather enjoyed that, didn’t you?”

Ari couldn’t help but laugh back, “Maybe a little” she said, pinching two fingers together.

Anders shook his head laughing again.  “Come, my lady, time for you to eat.” He bent his arm at the elbow offering it to her.

Ari wrapped her arm through it but sighed as they exited the court. “Now?  I’m really not feeling up to eating.”

Anders shook his head and placed his hand over hers, patting it. “Healer’s orders.  You need to eat, Sweetheart.  Besides, is having lunch with an incredibly handsome mage so bad?”

Ari laughed again and shook her head.  “I guess I can think of worse company.  That Lady Packer for example.”

“Oh, so I’m better than a traitorous shrew.  You do know how to wound me, my lady.” He replied 

When they entered the mess hall, Ari stopped up short, resulting in nearly pulling Anders over as her arm was still around his.  She couldn’t believe her eyes.

At one of the tables sat Nathaniel and Fergus, both laughing and talking, and possibly a little drunk based on how they were leaning.  They turned and saw Anders and Ari.  Nate said something to Fergus, and they both turned back to them again and started laughing.

Anders looked at her, “So, they’ve made up then?”

“It would seem, but I’m not sure if that’s good or bad seeing as how they seem to have bonded over something about me.” She rolled her eyes. “Half my childhood was spent being tormented by those two.  Maybe putting them back together wasn’t so smart after all.” She smiled at Anders to show him she didn’t really mean it.

Anders patted her hand that was around his arm, and lead her to the kitchen for lunch.  He couldn’t really relate to her youth.  His childhood had been normal at first.  Then he set the barn on fire and it changed forever.  He was sent off to the tower with nothing but a pillow from his mother, never to hear from his parents again.  He had found a kindred spirit in Solona Amell.  The two of them often playing pranks, or getting into other trouble, often at the expense of the Templar Solona found cute, Cullen.  She had been his first kiss, his best friend, and his coconspirator all in one.  He’d heard she had died with the blood mages took over, and part of him still mourned her loss.

“See you later, Carrot Head!” Nate snickered as they got to the door

Ari flinched, causing the two men to laugh loudly as she walked into the kitchen.

***

Nathaniel and Fergus were currently in her office playing a game of Wicked Grace with Oghren.  She was glad to see the two men falling back into their old friendship.  She had given them space today, feeling that they both probably needed the others’ support to heal and move on with life, even with the shadow of their losses looming on them.    She had noticed the few times she’d checked in on them in the mess hall that Nathaniel was throwing glances Velanna’s way.  She couldn’t help but smile at this look on his face when he did.

Ari  currently sat up on the ledge of battlement at the top of Vigil’s Keep looking down over the courtyard.   She was holding the ring that Zevran had given her when he had proposed.  The ring that had once been her mother’s.  She looked up when she heard movement and smiled as Anders appeared from the doorway.  He joined her on the ledge, and for a few minutes they just sat together quietly.  

Anders finally spoke. “I wanted to say thank you, my lady. “

“For what?” she asked. 

“For saving me from being dragged back to the Circle, possibly from a hanging.” He said, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, noticing that she was still intent on the ring in her hand.

“No need, Anders.  It was the least I could do after you helped us.  Plus annoying that woman was an extra treat.  I’d do it again for that alone.”

“You miss him, don’t you?” Anders asked, indicating the ring.

“What, oh yes, but it wasn’t Zev I was thinking of.” She said, finally looking up at him, seeing he was waiting for her to continue.  “This was my mother’s first.  Seeing Nate and Fergus together, just reminded me of how it used to be.  And then I started missing my mother.  Wondering what she’d be saying to me now.”

Anders put his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder still looking down on the ring.  “I think she’d tell you she was very proud of you and that you’ll be just fine.” He said quietly. “Or I suppose that’s what a mother would say.  I don’t really remember mine that much.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, sitting up a little to look at him.  “Did something happen to her?”

Anders shook his head.  “No, to me.  When I was about 7, I saw my father hit her.  I guess I got so angry that my magic came through, I set our barn on fire.  My father brought the templars, I never saw either of them again.  All I  have is a pillow she had made for me when I was a child.  I’d managed to keep it hidden in the tower.  I still have it.”

“That’s awful! Your own father doing that ” she shook her head.  “Is that why you kept escaping all those times?”

“How’d you know about that?” he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

“My friend, Cullen.  He warned me about you, said I should watch out for practical jokes if you get bored.” She laughed.

“Cullen?  As in Templar, curly hair, all business?  He knows I’m here?” the panic starting to appear in his normally calm voice.

“It’s ok Anders,” she said patting his leg.  “He’s in Kirkwall now, and besides, unlike Rylock, he respects the Wardens and that you’re one now.  You’re safe here, I promise.”

He seemed to relax at her words, knowing she kept her promises.  He leaned back on his arms, and she rested her head back on his shoulder again.  Both sat, looking out into the sky, thinking of their own mothers.

***

_ Cullen- _

_ It’s been over a month since I’ve received any word from Zevran.  I feel like I’m going crazy without him.  My companions here seem to be the only thing keeping me sane at the moment.  How are you? How is Kirkwall?  Any plans to be back on this side of the water sometime?   _

_ I never thought I’d say this, but sometimes I miss the days around the campfire during the blight.  Being able to sit with my friends and just talk.  Zev and Alistair were there, Leliana too.  Sorry again about that kiss she gave you at the wedding.  But, Maker, seeing you blush like that! _

_ I miss you my friend. _

_ \- Ari _

***

They were fighting bandits a month later when Nathaniel noticed things were different.  It was during a battle on the road against several bandits.  He and Velanna were in the back, him with his bow, and her casting spells.  Ari was at the front fighting hand to hand with her daggers.  And Anders, instead of casting fireballs or lightning, he appeared to be casting instead a protection spell on Ari even thought she was perfectly capable of fighting without it..

Nathaniel had already noticed that Ari and Anders were almost always together.  Often whispering about one thing or another, but never letting anyone else in on their secret.  Anders would check her over before anyone else after battle.  

Anders sat next to Ari.  He poured half his stew in her bowl, even though she’d already eaten.  Anders said something to her and squeezed her hand.  She nodded and continued eating what he’d given her.

Nate sat by the fire, he couldn’t help but feel a little put out.  He didn’t want to think it was possible, that she might be disloyal to her husband, but all appearances seemed to look that way, and if that was the case, why the mage instead of him.  He had once been the man she loved.  Why wouldn’t she want him?  At the same time, he wondered if perhaps he shouldn’t feel grateful, if she really was being unfaithful, it could have been him that was being wronged, had he married her.  He was finding it difficult to make sense of what his eyes were telling him, with what he knew in his heart about Ari.  She was not the type to do something like that, at least not the Ari he knew.

*** 

Ari sat at her desk in her bedroom, writing out some directives and signing some papers the Seneschal had informed her needed her attention.  The King and her brother had arrived earlier in the day, she had meetings planned with them for this afternoon.  There was so much to take care of today, but right now all she could think was how much she wanted to put her head down and rest.   She was about to do just that when there was a knock at the door.

“Commander?” she heard Anders call out.  She sighed, realizing that she could forget about the nap now.

“Come in, Anders”, she answered, setting about to take the papers on her desk to deliver to her runner.

He entered, smiling his charming smile when his eyes fell upon her.  “And don’t you look stunning today?” he teased.

“Ugh, don’t start.  What’s up?” she asked, and then yawned.  “Sorry.”

“I was sent by your brother to find you, they’re ready for you in your office.  Having trouble with exhaustion?” he asked, switching to what she now called his ‘Healer’ voice.   He moved closer when she nodded.

“Ok, well I can help with that, my lady.  Then off to your brother.” He reached out with his hands to start a light  rejuvenation spell.

Neither of them noticed the shadow on her balcony.  Ari probably not because she was so tired, something she’d kick herself for later.  Anders didn’t notice because he was so focused on her.

The figure on the balcony watched the two.  Unable to hear what they were saying, just watching the man approach the woman, and hold his arms out to cast some type of spell.  The man then offered his hand to the woman, which she took, and he wrapped it around the crook of her arm, leading her out of the room.  Before they left, the man put his hands on her waist as if he had a right to touch her.  He said something, and she threw her arms around his shoulders.  The eyes of the shadow on the balcony narrowed, anger reflected in them as the two left the room.


	35. Returning

The meetings had been hours long, and Ari was happy to return her room. It had been months since she’d last heard from Zevran.  His shirt had long stopped carrying his smell, yet she still wore it every night.

_ Please know I take you with me in my heart _

Most of the meetings had been easy.  Her favorite being when she was able to tell Nathaniel of his promotion.  Her least favorite was the one with her brother and Alistair.  That one had been a lot of frustration and some yelling.  They did not want her to leave, told her it was not safe.  But she needed to find him, he needed to know what was happening.

_ please know I will return.  _

The letter she had read a hundred times running through her head.  She didn’t know where to start looking for him.  Did he even want her to find him?  Had he abandoned her? Changed his mind?  She had to know for sure.

_ I will return _

Her friends and fellow Wardens were gathering in the hall, having a party to wish her well as she left.  She knew it would be at least 30 minutes before anyone would come looking for her.  She hoped that would be enough time to grab a quick nap.  The rejuvenation spell Anders had cast that morning had long worn off.

She opened her door and walked through.  Before she could close the door it slammed shut, and someone pulled her back towards the wall.  Panic started to fill her.  She tried quickly to fight but then the scent hit her nose.  Leather and spices.  She instantly calmed.

“Zevran” she sighed, leaning her head back against his shoulder.  

Familiar arms wrapped around her torso, pulling her tight, arms she had dreamed of for months, as he kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear, “Mi amor”

She felt so happy, she thought she could cry.  He was here, really truly here. She tried to turn so she could see him.  At  first he held her tight, not allowing her to turn.  Then in one quick move he had flipped around her so that she was still facing the same way, but now her back was to the wall, and he was in front of her.  Her hands immediately flew around his face and she pulled him in for a kiss, which Zevran eagerly returned.   His tongue ran along her lips, which she happily opened to him.  One of his hands moved into her hair, tilting her head to deepen the kiss.  Ari let out a soft moan, the scent of him, the feel of him in her hands filled her with exhilaration.

He ended the kiss, pressing his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes.  “You are mine,” he growled, kissing her again, moving his lips to her cheek, nipping up her chin to her ear.  “Mine” he growled again.  As he kissed her, his hands came down to pin her arms against the wall.

He came back up to look at her, still holding her to the wall.  She looked up at him with all the love she’d been keeping safe for the nearly five months since she saw him.  But the look he returned was not what she expected.  He had a grin, but it did not reach his eyes.  His eyes were cold, almost terrifying to look at.

“Zev?” she asked.  “What happened, are you ok?” She tried to move her arm up to touch him, but he held them in place. “Zev? My love, what is it? You’re scaring me.”

“Your love?” he growled.  “Am I really yours?  Where is your mage?”

“Mage?  Do you need a healer? Are you hurt?” she was struggling to figure out what was going on.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes.  When he opened them they were still full of the bile she had seen before.  “When I left, I did not leave you alone.  I had spies keep an eye on you, to keep you safe.”

“Yeah, I figured that, Zev.  I’m guessing that Mhairi was one of yours, but I didn’t figure that out until it was too late, sorry.  But what is wrong? Why are you so angry?”

“They’ve been telling me what you’ve been up to  _ My Warden _ .” He snarled again.  “They have told me that you have been spending your time with this mage, almost exclusively.  That he watches over you.  How long Ari?  How long did it take for you to replace me?”

If she could have moved her hand, she probably would have smacked him then, but she didn’t need to.    A moment later his hands holding her arms down softened as he looked down between them when he felt something hit his stomach.  When he looked back up, his eyes this time held confusion.

“Someone”, she said as she took advantage of his distraction to grab one of his hands with her own and place it on her belly, “is trying to tell her father he’s being an ass.”

He looked back down again, and then up with a small smile on his face, this time his eyes had softened.  “She also wants you to know your spies suck.  Anders isn’t my lover you idiot, he’s my healer and friend.  He’s been keeping us safe.” She felt the baby kick his hand again.  “Seems she agrees.”

“She?” he asked, finally speaking, still staring down, wondering how he had missed that her abdomen had swelled.

Ari nodded.  “Anders told me this morning.”

Zevran fell to his knees, his lips upon her belly immediately, his hands on her next to where his face rested along her abdomen. She moved her hands to his hair, running her fingers through it, while he continued to move his hands around her belly, laughing any time there was a kick.  “Bebé.  Mi Hija” he kissed the swell of his child again.  “It is your Papá.  I cannot wait to meet you”.

Ari could not help the love that swelled in her watching him talk to their unborn child.

He stood again, this time he kissed her much softer, a hand still upon her stomach.  “Ari, when?”

“I’m guessing our honeymoon.” She told him with a shrug.  “I’m a little over six months as best we can tell.  I was going to be leaving soon to find you, well you can guess why now.”

“I am sorry, mi amor.  You were right, I am a fool.” He kissed her again.

“I believe I said you were an ass, but fool is also correct.” She lifted her hand to his face and smiled as he moved to press into her hand.  “But I’m surprised, I would think if you’d be jealous of anyone, it would be Nate.”

“Nate?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.  “Nathaniel Howe is here?”

“Seriously, fire that spy.” She chuckled. “You’re happy?”  she had been so worried that he would not be, that he would tell her that a child had no place in their lives.

“Happy does not begin to cover it, my Queen.  I have never felt anything like this before.” He pressed kisses again to her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, then down to her lips.

“I thought,” he paused and looked at her, “ I thought I had lost you.”

She touched his cheek, “Never.  I will love you until the end of time.” 

They continued to kiss and touch, finally reuniting for real.  After a few minutes there was a knock at the door.

“Little one, tell your mother your favorite Uncle is here to bring you down to the party”, Alistair’s voice called out.

“And tell her the King is here, too” yelled out Fergus.

Ari rolled her eyes, as Zevran raised his eyebrow at her again.  “Maker,” she shook her head.  “The two of them have been like that for the last month, ever since I told them.  They’re driving me crazy.  She’s not even here yet and they’re already vying to be the favorite.”

Zevran let out a chuckle at his beloved.  “She already has an escort” he called back out to the door.

“Zevran?” Alistair asked with surprise in his voice.  “Oh, you’re both still clothed aren’t you?  Because she’s expected downstairs already?”

“Yes, Ali,” she laughed.  “We’ll be right down, promise.”

*** 

The celebration for the Warden Commander was in full swing by the time they arrived downstairs.  After saying his hellos to Alistair and Fergus, Zevran pulled her onto the dance floor.  Zevran’s arms were around her waist, hers were around his shoulders.  They danced with their foreheads pressed together.

“I have missed you, my beautiful Ari,” he told her, placing a kiss to her nose.  He looked around the room at the large number in attendance.  “You have done good work here.  You are sure you wish to leave?”

“Yes,I’ve already made Nate my temporary replacement until the new commander arrives.” she nodded.  “I want a home. I want our daughter to have a normal life, where her parents are home, raising her.  I’ll only get to spend too short of a time with the two of you as it is before my Calling.  I want to spend as much time as I can just being her mom and your wife.”

Zevran gave her a warm smile.  “I would like that too.  I would love to show you Antiva City.  It is beautiful, you would be happy there.”

“It sounds wonderful, Zev.  Antiva would be perfect,” she smiled up at him.

“Then I will inform Alistair he will need a new spymaster.” He kissed her again.  “Mi amor, who is the grumpy looking man watching us?”

Ari laughed, she didn’t even have to look up to know who he meant.  “That’s Nate.”

“And he does not like me, si?  Or does he not like you?  Do we like him?”

“We do.  He’s just worried.  He knows about everything, the real everything, that his father did. I think he just is concerned that you are treating me well.  He’s sort of shifted into protective mode after learning about Highever, he’s been like that especially after he found out about the little one.” She reassured him.

“Then I shall introduce myself and make myself a friend,” he looked back down at her.

“You’ll be nice?” She asked him.

“Not one threat, this I promise.” He smiled, knowing she was teasing him.

“May I cut in?” Someone tapped on Zevran’s shoulder.

He turned and froze for just a moment before Ari pulled him out of his thoughts.  “Zev, this is Anders.”

Ari watched closely, unsure for just a moment how her husband would react to Anders, even though he now knew there was nothing between them.  What she didn’t expect was that Zevran would pull the healer into a large hug.  Anders seemed just as surprised.

“Anders, I thank you, mi amigo.  You have kept my Ari, my family safe.  This is something I can never repay.”  Zevran shook his hand, trying not to tear up at the word family.  He had a family.  “Bonita, I shall go meet my new friend, you dance.” He kissed her cheek and walked off to introduce himself to Nathaniel who was currently talking with Fergus.

“Your husband is quite attractive, Commander,” Anders commented as they began dancing.

“That he is, and he’s all mine, so hands off,” she smiled up at him.  “I’ll miss you, Anders.  Maybe you can make it to Antiva City one day to see us.”

“I would like that, Commander,” Anders smiled at her.

“As of an hour ago, I’m not the Commander.  Just call me Ari,” she requested before leaning her head against his shoulder.

“Ari, then,” he said, grateful that she could not see the sadness on his face that she would be leaving and going so far away.  Anders’ arms tightened into a hug around her and he closed his eyes, imagining for just a moment that he meant something more to her.

When the dance ended, Anders walked her over to Fergus and Alistair.  He pressed a kiss to her hand before leaving to find a female warden who’d been watching him most of the night.  

Ari was currently standing next to Fergus, Alistair beside him, and Oghren on the other side of her.  They were laughing, sharing stories.  Ari looked over to see Zevran and Nathaniel speaking.  Zevran was gesturing, trying to emphasize whatever they were discussion.

“Think they’re sharing ‘The time I tried to kill Arianna’ stories” Alistair asked with a chuckle.

“I’m not sure, knowing Zev that’s probably not the story in common he’s trying to share.” She paused when she noticed Nathaniel suddenly blush profusely.  “Oh Maker, I was right, that’s exactly what he’s talking about.  Fergus, go save Nate and send my husband back over here so he can stop harassing our guests.” 

Fergus bent down to her belly, “Your favorite Uncle will be back soon, Little One”

She pushed at him, annoyed.  “GO!” 

He laughed at her annoyance and moved on towards where the assassin and the rogue were standing.  Alistair moved closer to her, and then leaned down.  “I can get you a pony, don’t forget that.”  Ari just rolled her eyes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of the awesome feedback I decided not to leave you all hanging for too long <3 This is my favorite chapter to write so far.


	36. Birth of a Princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now you know what Anders said to Ari in the Blackmarsh in Chapter 33 :)

They were barely through the door of her room before Zevran was pulling her close to him and kissing her as if she was the air he needed to breath.  He only stopped long enough to let her pull his shirt over his head.

“Are you particularly attached to this dress, My Warden?” He asked her.  

When she shook her head he spun her around to face away from him.  He pulled out a knife and cut through the ties of her dress in one move.  It fell to the floor in a pile.  He scooped her up and walked with her to the bed, she continued to kiss him the entire way.  He placed her on the bed and started to climb on when she stopped him.

“Boots off,” she ordered.  She pointed to his breeches, “Those too.”

He gave her a seductive smile and followed her command, practically tossing the boots and breeches off in a flurry.  When he crawled back on the bed she threw her breast band at him.  Zevran growled, tossing it aside and pounced beside her, kissing her once again.  His fingers found her nipple and began to tease it to a peak.  What he had not expected was how sensitive she would be to it.  She moaned loudly and arched within a minute of his attention.  He smirked, watching his woman moan his name.  It was more erotic than it had been in his memories.  Zevran captured one of her breasts in his mouth and she clawed at him.

“Oh, Oh Maker Zevran… I’m going to...Oh that feels so good.  Oh Zevran, please,” she moaned loudly and he could feel her shake under him.  He enjoyed this new sensitivity of hers, she had come just from his attention to her breasts.  The sounds she made, and that he’d been five months without her touch - the longest he’d ever remembered being celibate - had left him painfully hard.

He kissed her lips, tongues fighting for dominance.  He kissed along her cheek and to her ear.  “It has been far too long since I have been inside you mi amor.  I need you,” he told her, his voice husky with desire.  She nodded and they both removed their remaining smalls.  Zevran laid down and she crawled over him, kissing him again.  She could feel his hard cock pressing against stomach as if searching for her.  “Ari, please,” he moaned, closing his eyes when she touched it with her fingertips.

She knew it had been too long for either of them, and her hormones had her craving him without much need for anything but a look.  She lined his cock up to her and pressed herself down.  He hands grabbed her hips and she could feel him push in further and as he moaned her name.  Zevran opened his eyes and watched her as he helped lift her hips and then pull her back down repeatedly several times.

Ari’s breath became quick, “Zev, oh Zev, you feel so good,” she felt herself near the edge again.

He must have felt her quiver, because he sat up and kissed her, his hands wrapping around her hips pulling them tight to his.  “I love you, my Ari.” he said kissing her as she fell apart in his arms.  He moaned into the kiss, following her over the edge.

***

Ari awoke with early light, when normally she’d be starting running through training recruits.  Anders had made her stop doing that two weeks earlier, but her brain apparently hadn’t yet gotten the message, as it still woke her up at the same time.  She wondered why she felt warm, why was her pillow so hard and what was that thumping noise.  She opened her eyes, blinking for a minute, and sighed as she realized the noise was Zevran’s heart, her pillow, his chest, and she felt warm because there was a sexy elf in her bed.  She ran her hand over his chest, and smiled, she had missed this so much.  He had one arm around her, the other hand resting on her belly.  

She looked up at him, he was already awake, watching her.  He leaned his head down and gave her a long kiss.  “Good morning, My Warden” he kissed the top of her head while rubbing her belly again.

Ari touched his face affectionately.  “Mi amor.  I came here thinking I had lost you.  I am so sorry for my behavior.” He said watching her with loving eyes.

She leaned up so she was closer to his face and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  “Zev,” she ran a hand along his cheek.  “I am yours. I will love you forever, and you are all I want.  You never need to fear me leaving.”

He nodded and pulled her close again.

Ari hummed, snuggling into him again.  “As much as I want to stay here, someone is hungry” she laughed placing her hand over his above their daughter.

“Whatever my preciosas niñas desire is my command,” he chuckled.  Her heart swelled again.  She knew a little Antivan from her sister-in-law, that he was already calling her and their daughter his beautiful girls.  Even though the baby had yet to make an appearance, she felt as if she was falling even more in love with Zevran already with how sweet he had become.

Breakfast had been bittersweet.  It was wonderful to have a meal with so many she cared about, but she realized she may never see many of them again, at least not for a long time.  She and Zevran had already decided that they would move to Antiva City before the birth.  Zevran had been homesick for a long time, and he longed to show the city he loved to Ari.  During breakfast, Zevran invited Fergus to join them.  He figured Ari would want to have her only family nearby as time for the baby to come approached.  Fergus agreed, remembering what it was like to be a father-to-be, and thinking Zevran might need some support.

***

_Ari-_

_Antiva sounds amazing from your letters.  Kirkwall is, well, busy.  I hope it will calm down some so that I can pay you a visit once the baby has arrived.  How is Zevran holding up?  Is he hovering like he did at the end of the blight?  I’m betting he is._

_You are now writing to the new Knight-Captain.  I sometimes need to pinch myself to be sure it’s real. The Knight-Commander has taken a shine to me, and while I still have nightmares from Kinloch Hold, the future is looking brighter.  Being able to serve in the fresh air makes a difference._

_-Cullen_

***

By the time they had arrived in Antiva, Ari was already in her seventh month, and the heat did nothing to make her pregnancy more bearable.  They quickly found a home near the waterfront, and Zevran set about hiring a housekeeper and other help for the new house.  He also hired a chef, despite his wife’s protests.

“Really, I can make our meals.  We don’t need a chef.” She insisted.

“Ah, my dear, you should not be up cooking for hours.  You should be resting and preparing for the baby.” He winked at her, not admitting it was fear of that very cooking that caused him to hire the chef.

After they had been there nearly a month, Fergus arrived.  Ari was over the moon to see him and delighted in showing him around the city.  

Whenever Ari would start to get weepy about how their mother was not there, and how she didn’t know how she could do this without her, Fergus would do what he could to calm her.  He’d share with her some of the advice their mother had given him when they were expecting Oren.  

Whenever Zevran started pacing, or became overly panicked about if they had the right bassinette or if this was all wrong and there was no way he’d ever be ready to be a father, Fergus was there.  He shared stories with Zevran about when he was waiting for Oren’s arrival.  He assured the elf that the child would not care about his past or if he was perfect or not.  The child would only care that her father loved her and spent time with her.  He told him that everything else would take care of itself.

Overall, Fergus was very happy he had decided to make the trip.  Highever was quiet and lonely without the sounds of family in it.  Here he was useful, and actually happy.  He would be staying until Eleanor was about two months, to help Ari and Zevran get used to her, and, he hoped, to show Ari the things their mother would have.  To help her with the skills he had learned as a parent.  It was good to feel needed again.

***

A glass smashed on the door frame as Zevran made his escape through it, looking terrified.

“Come back here you rotten excuse for an assassin.  I’m going to rip that sorry braid from your hair.” Ari screamed out. This time a platter clanged against the back of the door as he closed it.

Fergus snickered and offered the frazzled looking man a cup with Antivan Brandy. “I told you to stay out of there.  Come sit here by the fire until the midwife lets you know it’s safe to return.”

Zevran collapsed in his chair and slammed down the shot.  “Maker,” he sighed, “she’s scarier than the time we faced a whole horde of Darkspawn.”

Fergus laughed.  “When Orana was in labor, she threatened to hire the Crows to come after me if I ever touched her again.” He filled up his brother-in-law's cup again. “Once the babe is here, you’ll see she’ll be back to normal, and your anatomy will be safe from threats.”

Zevran shook his head and looked back towards the room when he heard Ari scream again.  “Right now I think I’d rather face the Archdemon again then go back in there.”

***

When Ari awoke she felt sore.  The curtains had been drawn, giving the room some shade.  She could hear Zevran’s voice, he was talking to someone, but she didn’t think it was to her.  She turned her head to see him sitting by the fire holding something in his arms and talking to it.  Tears were slowly running down his cheek, and she realized he was talking to their daughter.  They had named after her mother and Alistair, Eleanor Alise.

“My beautiful little Princesa” he said to her, “You are even more beautiful than I dreamed.  You are perfect. I am your Papá, and I will always love you.  I will protect you and your Mamá and make sure you are very happy.  Your Mamá is sleeping now, but when she awakens, we have a present for her.  Your Uncle Fergus is here, he’ll come in to see you later.  I know he can’t wait to meet you.  But right now, you just sit here in Papá’s arms and sleep.  I will be here to watch over you, always.”

Ari felt sleep taking over again as she watched them by the fire and saw Zevran laugh as Eleanor grabbed his finger.  He was a far cry from the brash, flirtatious elf she had met years ago.

***

When she awoke again Zevran was lying beside her in the bed, upon the covers.  She turned her head to look at him and a smile came across her lips as she saw he was watching her.

“Hello my bonita,” he whispered as he leaned his head down and kissed her, brushing some hair behind her ear. “How are you?”

“I feel like I’ve been run over by an ogre.” She replied causing him to laugh.

“The midwife said that was normal.  You should feel better soon mi amor.”

She looked over towards the bassinette.  “Where’s Eleanor?” she asked, panic coming into her voice, why wasn’t she here?

“Shh, it’s ok” he kissed her nose.  “Uncle Fergus couldn’t wait any longer to see her.  He’s giving her a tour of her new home.  He’ll be back soon, and you will have her in your arms as long as you want.”

She relaxed at that and snuggled closer to Zevran.

“While we wait, I have something for you, my beautiful wife.” He kissed her again.

“Oh Zev, I am so not ready for that yet,” she laughed pushing at him. Suddenly her face fell, “Oh no, oh… those things I said to you earlier.  I’m so sorry. Oh Zev” she started to cry.

He chuckled, wiping her tears with his thumb and kissing her cheeks. “Shh, silly Ari, you’ve said way worse to me in Orzammar.  Come, sit up my dear.” He helped her sit against some pillows.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a Silverite pendant in the shape of a heart.  It was hanging off a silver chain.  Zevran placed it around her neck and kissed her cheek .  While she looked at the necklace, rubbing her fingers along the smooth surface he spoke, “Ari, before you I did not think love was real, I could not see a future for me beyond the Crows.  Then you showed me what it means to be loved and to love, and I thought I was as happy as I could ever be.  But last night, you gave me even more, something I didn’t even know I wanted.  You gave me a family.  You have filled my heart, and then did it again.  You are so much more than a man like me ever deserved.  I love you, my Queen.”

She started crying again, causing him once more to laugh and then pull her to lean beside him while he kissed her head.  He had learned over the last few months that his normally feisty wife had become a weeping mess from the pregnancy.  This seemed to happen even more when she was happy.  Therefore her crying now was a good sign.

Fergus entered then carrying Eleanor.  “And we’re back in your room again.  Ah, I see your mother is awake and apparently your father has once again made her cry.” He laughed, placing Eleanor in Ari’s arms and leaning over to kiss her cheek.  “She’s beautiful, like her mother, Pup.  I will leave you three and see you in the morning.”

Zevran hugged her tighter, while his hand when to the squirming bundle in his wife’s arms.  The baby immediately grabbed at his fingers, pulling one into her mouth.  While he sat there holding his wife, and watching their daughter, Zevran thought himself the luckiest man in all of Thedas.


	37. A Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut -- i.e. the date goes pretty well!

_Ari-_

_The Warden Commander that came in from Orlais after you is horrible.  And that’s my professional opinion as the Warden Captain.  He’s made changes that I really don’t feel are for the best.  For some reason he had a particular issue with Anders, including taking away that damn cat of his.  You know I had no love lost for the man, or that cat, but still, it was pretty insane.  Then he brought in some Templar to follow him around.  I tried to tell the Commander that Anders was instrumental in bringing down the Architect and the Mother, that he was a hero in saving Amaranthine, he didn’t care._

_Long story short, both Anders and Justice disappeared within a week of each other. Velanna left shortly after that, and Sigrun appears to be considering leaving as well. Oghren said he’s got nowhere else, so he is staying. I feel as if I’ve failed you by not keeping them all safe._

_I miss you.  Fergus just keeps gushing in his letters about how adorable his niece is.  I hope to meet her someday._

_-Nate_

***

_Nate-_

_You have never once failed me ever, not even now._

_That Warden Commander can kiss his position goodbye.  Being the Hero has quite a lot of pull with the Warden Command.  Plus I happen to know the most senior Warden in Ferelden, and the King of Ferelden.  He’ll see to the man’s removal._

_You are welcome in Antiva anytime.  And yes, my daughter is quite adorable.  She currently has a tight grip on her father’s hair._

_\- Ari_

***

Ari weaved her way through the stalls in the Marketplace in Antiva City, her two month old daughter in her arms.  Following her was the man Zevran hired under the guise of being a nanny, but she knew just from looking at the large, muscular man that clearly he was supposed to be her bodyguard.  She knew she could argue with her husband about it, she’d taken down the bloody Archdemon after all, but if allowing the man to follow her around made Zevran breathe easier, than she could deal with her shadow, for now.  Zevran had started taking jobs around town, ones that used his unique skill set.  As a result, he clearly desired to keep his young family safe while he was on a job.

She was currently looking through dresses, trying to find something for tomorrow night.  Fergus was only in town another few days, and had offered to watch Eleanor so that she and Zevran could get out and do something they’d never done before – have an actual date.  Instead of thinking of the evening, however, her mind was on how much she’d like to deal with a certain Orlesian Warden Commander personally.  She was also worried what had become of Anders.  Not only had he been a friend when she needed it most, if not for him, she might not have the beautiful girl in her arms.   She was distracted and didn’t notice the man approach her, but apparently the helper, Marcus, did, as he was in between the two of them quickly.

“My Lady Warden,” the man said from behind the wall that was Marcus.  Ari realized she recognized the voice.

“Master Ignacio?” she asked, leaning around Marcus to look at him.

“Lady Arainai,” he bowed. “I had heard you and Zevran had moved into town.”

She scoffed.  “Ignacio, you’re a Master Crow, you probably knew about five minutes after we moved in.  So let’s cut the pleasantries and get on with what you need, Ser.  Make it quick, pretty sure Marcus here is more afraid of Zev than you anyway.”

Ignacio laughed.  “You certainly are a good match for Zevran.  I only came to offer a chance to pay back the help you two had given me in Denerim.  I will keep my ear to the ground, ensure you are safe in Antiva, including from my fellow Crows.  And perhaps your husband can help me out again on occasion?”

Ari nodded and promised him nothing but that she would speak with Zevran about his offer.

***

Zevran sat in his chair in the salon, with Eleanor in his lap, playing with her favorite toys – her father’s fingers.  He may be ruthless and tough while out on a job, but the minute that his daughter was in his arms, he turned to mush.  She was only two months old, and he knew she already had him wrapped around her finger, that there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her, including letting her yank his hair on occasion, just to hear her laugh when he’d wince.  Ari, however was not as content at the moment.  She was pacing around the room, growling, sometimes even saying real words.  Fiss had escaped to the nursery, deciding it was safer than being around his mistress when she was in this mood.  She had already talked with Zevran about Ignacio’s offer, and he had said he’d talk to the Crow, and decide then.

Eleanor made a cooing noise in the direction of her mother, still pacing.  “You see, Princesa, this is what happens when someone touches your Mamá’s things.” He laughed. “Now, someone has messed with her friends, and that mean old Orlesian should consider that he is very lucky Mamá is here instead of in Ferelden figuring out some way to set him on fire.  Yes he is.” He cooed back to her.

Ari continued to pace, but let a smirk fall in Zevran’s direction.  She knew he was trying to cheer her up, but it wasn’t just the way this Commander had treated her troops.  It was more that she was worried about Anders.  She had the feeling he’d never really had much of a home, or people that cared about him until the Wardens, and now this soon to be demoted to Captain idiot had destroyed that.  She worried what would happen to him now, and prayed to the Maker he’d be ok.  

***

Zevran had to practically pull Ari out of the house that night.  He had to reassure her multiple times that Eleanor would be just fine with her Uncle while they were out for a few hours.  He threatened to throw her over his shoulder and carry her out if she didn’t leave.  She huffed at first, but now that they were walking, taking in the night air, her irritation had disappeared and she seemed to be enjoying her time with him.  

For his part, Zevran couldn’t seem to stop touching her, whether it was holding her hand, or putting his arm around her, or just touching her arm, he felt like he needed to be in constant contact with her.  Her skin was glowing, and the green dress she wore, that matched her eyes, all Zevran could think was how to get her out of it.  Suddenly he regretted leaving their house.

The owner of the tavern they ate at clearly knew Zevran, and even though he was no longer a Crow, his name still seemed to hold him in regard.  They were given their best table, and the owner kept gushing over them.  Ari loved the fact that here, she was not a Cousland, not the Warden Commander, and definitely not The Hero of Ferelden.  Here she was just Lady Arainai, wife to Zevran, former Crow.  She liked that title more than any other.    Ari was starting to find she actually was enjoying herself.  She could use both hands to eat without a baby to hold, and even better, she could have a normal adult conversation with her husband.  She was also enjoying how much he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off her, something that hadn’t really happened since Eleanor arrived, mainly because they were just so tired by the time they fell into bed that sleep was all they desired.

Dessert was a custard Zevran told her was something called mocha.  He promised her she’d like it, serving her a spoonful and then following it with a kiss.  He was so wrong.  She more than liked it.  It was pure bliss, she’d never had anything so good.  She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her lips after the first bite.   Zevran chuckled at her joy.

“I told you, mi amor.  Only the best for you.” He proceeded to serve her the rest of dessert that way, a spoonful, then a kiss, a spoonful, and a kiss, taking delight in how much his wife’s face lit up with each bite.

When they left the tavern, Ari was leaning her head along Zevran’s arm, their hands clasped together.  They made their way towards the waterfront, to walk along the pier.  Before they made it that far, however three men stepped out of the shadow.  “Hand over the coin purse, and neither you or the lady get hurt.” The tallest one said.  Ari decided to name him Stupid #1.

“Oh Zev, you found me bandits to trash. You really do know how to spoil me.” She laughed at her husband.

“Oy, we’re not fooling mate. Hand it over, or maybe we take it from you, and your woman too.” That came from the one Ari decided to name The Late Bandit #2.

Zevran chuckled at that. “I believe you will find the beauty is even deadlier than me.”

The third one, Silent Bob, Ari decided, said nothing, but the three started to circle the couple.  Zevran and Ari fell back into routine just as if they were still in the blight.  His daggers had been on his belt the whole time, hers hidden under her dress.  They moved so their backs were facing each other, blades out.  To someone looking from a distance, it may have looked like they were dancing.  Taking turns swinging, blocking, Zevran occasionally twirling her in such a way that she was almost nothing more than a blur of knives.  In the end, the bandits laid dead.

Ari was looking around, checking for other bandits when suddenly she was pulled into a dark alley.  Zevran had her pinned between the wall and him.  She could feel the fight had quite the affect on him, and she let out a moan as his lips crashed into hers.  “You… are…. so….damn…sexy.” he growled in her ear.  “First you have this incredible dress,” he ran his hands down her side, starting to pull up the skirt of her dress as he did.  “Then you fight like we are battling the Darkspawn again, so hot.  You drive me crazy, woman” He crashed his lips into her again, pulling her up so that her legs came around his waist as he propped her further against the wall to keep her upright.

Zevran’s lips started to wander lower down her chin, to her neck.  He had one hand against the wall, while he undid the ties at the top of her dress, pulling at the dress when he did.  His hot mouth continued along her décolleté.  Her hands pulled and threaded through his hair as his lips landed upon her breast.  Ari though her head back and moaned.

This seemed to fuel Zevran on as his hand made its way down from her breast underneath her skirts that were rucked up around her.  He found his way under her smalls, finding her just as eager for him.  She hissed when he touched her pearl.  “Zevran, please.  It’s been months, I need you now.”

He moved his mouth back up to her ear. “I would never dream of denying you, my Queen” he whispered as his one hand continued to tease her as she undid the laces of his britches.  As soon as they were loose, he helped her push them down, and she gave him a few pumps, causing him to moan into her neck.  

“Please Zev, I ….ohhhh” she moaned as he pushed into her in one move, not even bothering to remove her smalls, but instead just pushing them to the side.   

Zevran’s head rested against her shoulder, she could feel his breath on her neck.  He didn’t move just yet.  He just reveled in the feeling of being inside her.  It had been so long since they had been together, he just wanted to enjoy the moment.  Slowly he started to move, Ari pulled on his hair, which he loved, and she moaned, mostly his name.  She was trying her best to be quiet as he pumped in and out of her.  His mouth returned to her breast, as his hands came around her ass to give her support while he continued to move in and out.

They didn’t last long, having been without it practically felt like they were virgins to Ari.  Soon she was clamping down around him and seeing stars.  Zevran joined her as they went over the cliff together.  Both panting and moaning the other’s name.

When they were done, he slowly lowered her down to the ground.  While he retied her dress she did the same for his britches.  It took longer than normal because they kept stopping to kiss again, heated, passionate kisses that threatened to reignite the flame yet again.  Zevran placed his forehead against hers, and looked in her eyes.  “I love you, My Warden.” He whispered.  “You are my everything.”

“I love you too,” She said to him under lidded eyes as she kissed him again.

***

When they arrived home Fergus was sitting on the couch, a sleeping baby in his arm as he rested.  

“Did you enjoy dinner?” he asked looking up.  He got a mischievous grin on his face when he noticed both of their hair looked very mussed up.

“Yes.” Ari answered, pulling Zevran towards their room.  “Be a dear and put her to bed for us, Brother.  See you in the morning.”

When the door shut, Fergus chuckled to his sleeping niece.  “I think they’re trying for another one of you.”


	38. The Princess and the Templar

Cullen had been through alot in his 23 years, but he had never been so afraid in his life as he was at this moment.  Surely Ari was joking, she couldn’t be serious.  He was sure he was going to start sweating any minute now.  This couldn’t really be happening.  This trip was a bad idea he realized too late.  He had left his Templar armor at home, dressed now in just pants and a cotton shirt.  He felt very vulnerable without anything metal to protect him.  His eyes darted around nervously.

Ari couldn’t help but laugh at the image before her, Cullen, the brave templar, squirming on her couch as she bent down to place the 8 month old in his arms.  

“Come on now, you’ve faced blood mages and demons, but a baby is what freaks you out?” she teased him.  “Here” she said, showing him how to hold her.

She stepped back, as Cullen gave her a look that said  _ are you sure about this _ .  Eleanor cooed, pulling Cullen’s attention to her.  As Ari sat in her chair in the salon, she couldn’t help but smile seeing the look of affection come across her friend’s face as he looked at her daughter.  Eleanor made noises that weren’t really words, but were close enough that you could tell she was trying.  “Blrb bah gah gla” she said.

“That’s your Uncle Cullen, Eleanor.  How do you say hi?” She asked the little bundle of energy in Cullen’s arms.  

Eleanor immediately grabbed Cullen’s finger in her tiny hand, and pulled on it.  Ari was pretty sure Cullen fell in love with Eleanor at that exact moment.  The normally stoic templar fell away, his shoulders instantly fell into a relaxed position, and he started babbling back to her.  Ari watched the two of them communicate in their babbles and couldn’t help but smile at the interaction.

“See, you’re a natural with her, all nervous for nothing,” Ari laughed.

“She’s so good natured.  Beautiful too.” He said, eyes never leaving Eleanor.  “Although I’m pretty sure this right here won’t do much to help my image as the tough Knight-Captain of Kirkwall.” He laughed.

“Bah,” she waved her hand at him. “Here you’re just Cullen, or I guess Uncle Cullen now.” Ari replied laughing.

“You seem happy here,” Cullen said, finally looking up with a smile.

“I am,” she answered cheerfully. “Here I’m only know as Lady Arainai, not a Teyrna, not the bloody Hero, just me.  It’s nice being unknown, so to speak.” 

Fiss barked once from downstairs an hour later, alerting Ari to Zevran’s arrival home.  A few minutes later he appeared in the salon.  He bent down to kiss his wife.  “I see she takes after you, charming men everywhere she goes, mi amor.” He chuckled, indicating the sight on the couch.

As soon as Eleanor heard her father’s voice her attention left Cullen’s face as she reached out for Zevran.  He bent down and picked her up from Cullen, swinging her gently in the air as she giggled.  “Ya ah ah ya blgrbl” Eleanor babbled at her father.  “Say Papá” Zevran said to the blonde haired babe on his arm. “Papá”

“Sorry Cullen, no one can compete with her Papá,” Ari laughed.  “I’m pretty sure if he was equipped to feed her she’d never leave his arms.  As you can see, he’s trying to be her first word too!” she teased her husband.  

Zevran kissed Ari’s head and gave her a playful tsk.  “She is around you all day, bonita.  Pretty sure her first word will be a swear.” He ducked out of the way as Ari took a playful swipe at him, causing Cullen to laugh.

“Come, my friend.  Let’s have Princesa show you the beauty that is Antiva City.” Zevran beckoned to Cullen as they made their way out onto the streets, Fiss following alongside.

*** 

Ari walked among the vendor stalls in the market place looking for something special for Chef to cook for dinner.  Chef had started teaching Ari to make a few simple dishes.  Today she’d tasked Ari with finding the ingredients, but Chef would cook them.  Her 10 month old daughter was currently strapped to her back in a papoose of some type that Leliana had sent along.  Zevran had been out of town for nearly a week on a job with Ignacio but was expected back tonight, and she wanted to have something special for dinner that night.

“What do you think, Ele, would Papá like this?” she asked holding up a rare vegetable she knew he enjoyed.

“Ba ba ba gla", Eleanor replied, nodding her head.

A movement to her side caught Ari’s attention.  She instinctively reached down with her hand grabbing a wrist.  She turned to see a slightly smaller, dark haired elf glaring at her, surprised apparently by Ari’s reaction, trying to turn her wrist free.

“I think maybe you should try picking the pocket of someone less capable of kicking your…” Ari paused remembering small ears were behind her, “… backside.”

The elf glared at her even deeper.  “Just because you got lucky this time doesn’t make you special.  You’re just another noble who couldn’t defend herself if really challenged.” She grumbled, ripping her wrist free.  “Can’t even go without a bodyguard” the elf looked in Marcus’ direction, “I ain’t scared of you. ”

Ari looked at the woman, noticing a tattoo on her wrist.  “Maybe you should ask the Crows you’re trying hard to get initiated into about that, before you go off trying to take on a bigger mabari that would eat you for a snack.” She said calmly.  “Get out of here now, before I report you to the Guard-Captain.”

The woman looked at her shocked for a second, then her face got dark.  “You better watch out, noble.  We’re not done.” And she stormed off.

“Braska,” Ari muttered, turning back to the vegetables.  She shot Marcus a look to indicate her displeasure at his inaction.  

***

Chef let Ari know dinner would be ready in about thirty more minutes.  She pushed down at the wrinkle in her dress.  She was wearing the diamond earrings Zevran had given her for their first anniversary.  She had dressed Eleanor up too, a little something special so he knew his ladies had missed him while he was gone, but the girl was currently napping.

Fiss’ single bark let her know he was home, and she felt butterflies in her stomach.  She marveled at how she could still get excited to see him, after several years together, and him only being gone a week.  She watched the doorway for his approach, but he didn’t appear.  Fiss bounded up the stairs and sat, barking once.  She bit her lip a bit nervous.  Suddenly she was lifted up and spun around once, hearing him laugh behind her.  When he placed her down she turned around and playfully smacked him on the arm before leaning up to give him a kiss.

“Did you miss me, My Warden,” Zevran smiled at her.

“I did, before you startled me, Zev,” she laughed, placing another kiss on his lips.  “Eleanor is down for a nap, and dinner will be ready soon, go wake her if you want.” She smiled, pushing him towards the nursery.  “She’ll be happy to see you.”

Ari helped the Chef set the table, while Fiss bounced around below, sharing in the excitement of Zevran being back in the house.  She could hear Zevran in the nursery repeating the word “Papá” trying to get the girl to speak.  She shook her head with a smile and sat down to wait. Zevran came in bouncing Eleanor in his arms.  The girl giggled, arms thrown around his father’s neck.

“Ah, Princesa, look at how pretty you are, just like Mamá.  And look, Mamá has a special dinner for us.” Zevran said to Eleanor, in a sing song voice. “What do we say to Mamá to thank her for doing all this?”

Eleanor looked right at her father, “BRASKA!”

Ari’s head dropped to the table, and Zevran burst out in laughter.  “Oh, she is  _ definitely _ your daughter, Ari”.

“You couldn’t just say Papá” she mumbled into the table, causing Zevran to laugh more.

Fiss barked, “Fizz” the little girl yelled out.

Zevran chuckled.  “ _ Most definitely  _ yours.  This is going into the next letter to your brother for sure.” 


	39. Start of Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was told poor Nate seems to be getting the short end of the stick in this story, so I've added some Nate love to the first part of this chapter <3

Zevran entered the salon with a grin.  “Princesa, you have a visitor.” He smiled as she made her way to him on unsure legs, leaving her mother’s lap.  

She’d only been walking about two months at that point, so there was still a lot of wobbling.  She stopped up short when her father stepped aside and a tall man in a Grey Warden uniform appeared behind him.  She looked back at her mother for assurance.  “Mamá, man.” She said unsure.

“Yes Eleanor, say hi.” Ari nodded flashing her daughter an encouraging grin.

Eleanor looked to her father, he also nodded.  Still somewhat unsure, she hid behind her father’s leg and peered around as the man kneeled down to get closer to her height.  “Hi” she said quietly from behind Zevran’s leg.

“Hi,” the man smiled looking to Ari who smiled and nodded to let him know he was doing fine.  He held out his hand for the girl to shake it.  “I’m your Uncle Nate.”

“Uca Nit?” came a voice from behind Zevran’s legs.

“Nate”, Zevran said to her, taking her hand to move her around his legs.  “Don’t be shy, he came a long way just to see you.” He spoke cheerily trying to reassure the girl.

“Hi Uca Nae” she shot him a smile and took his hand.

Nathaniel laughed, “Close enough. Hi Eleanor.”

The girl beamed at him, and then looked up at Zevran again who nodded.  She then rushed at Nathaniel, nearly knocking the man off balance.  Ari laughed at him having to quickly catch himself before falling backwards.

“You certainly have a way with the Cousland women,” Zevran chuckled, as Nathaniel scooped up the girl in his arms and stood.

Nathaniel laughed.  “Maker, she has your mother’s smile, Ari.” He walked to a chair, and sat, expecting the girl to want to be put down, but she clung to him.

“I think you have a new friend,” Ari smiled, happily surprised that the usually shy girl took to him so quick.  “We better make sure she doesn’t sneak away in your bag when you leave.”

“My bag, oh yeah.  I have a present for you!” he smiled at the girl who looked again to her mother.

“Mamá, sokay?”

“Yes baby, it’s ok.” She nodded.

Zevran handed Nathaniel his bag, and he dug through it producing a stuffed druffalo.  “Here you go.”

She snatched it up and immediately hugged it.  “What do you say to Uncle Nate, Eleanor?” Ari prompted her.

“Tank oo Uca Nae” Eleanor said clinging to the doll while smashing herself into his chest.  

He gave her a hug again and laughed, “You’re very welcome Eleanor.”

The rest of his visit Eleanor was attached to him pretty much, insisting on sitting on his lap during dinner, and following him around like a shadow. 

Ari even teased him at one point that he better be careful or Zevran may get jealous of all the attention he was getting.

*** 

Ari was strapping on her leathers and attaching her daggers when Eleanor came toddling in, Fiss, as always, beside her.  At almost two she now was able to move around the house with ease, although, as her father so sweetly put it, looking like Oghren after a few ales too many.

“Where going, Mamá?” she asked.

Ari bent down to talk to her daughter, “Remember little Princesa, Mamá and Papá are going on a job.  You’re going to stay here with Uncle Fergus.”

The girl pouted, “Go wif Papá” she whined.

“No sweetie, you need to stay here.  You need to make sure Uncle Fergus stays out of trouble, I need you to watch him.  Can you do that for me?” she asked, touching the girl on the nose.

Eleanor looked to her mother again, then looked back to her father and uncle who had entered the room.  She ran over to Zevran who picked her up into his arms pulling her into a hug.  “No go Papá.” She cried.

“Hey now,” he said wiping her tears.  “Mamá and I will be back soon, you’ll have fun with your uncle, si?” he nodded, Eleanor mimicking his nodding head.

“Ok then, you go show Uncle Fergus the doll Uncle Nate gave you.”

“Ok, come Unca Fercus” she said, mood instantly changing to excited to show her druffalo doll.  She grabbed Fergus by the hand to lead him to her room.

After they left, Zevran stalked in front of his wife, putting his hands on her waist and pulling her close.  She lifted her chin and kissed him softly.  “I have forgotten just how good you look in fighting gear, mi amor.” He growled.

She laughed and pushed him back, “Don’t start up with that now or we’ll be late.”

Zevran stepped close again, this time nipping at her ear. “Hmm.  You remember when we had to be quiet in the woods near Denerim.  When I had you against that tree, you had to bite my shoulder to keep from screaming.” He ran his hand possessively over her back, holding her close.  Ari nodded, her mouth feeling dry.  “We should try that tonight when the rest of camp goes to bed.” He teased, nipping her ear again, causing Ari to let out a quiet moan, and cling to his arms for support.

***

The job was tracking down and killing a slaver who had been capturing elves to bring to Tevinter.  They arrived at the camp along with Ignacio, about two hours after having left the city.  The rest of the party was already there waiting for them.  Ignacio made his way around the camp with Ari to introduce her to his men and to explain that she’d be coordinating the raid on the slaver camp the next day.

Zevran kept an eye on the two as they moved around the camp, while he sat by the fire to inspect Ari’s armor and sharpen both their blades.  A dark haired elf sat next to him.  “Nice to have you back with us again, Zev.” She said with a smile.

He nodded, “Putting holes into slavers is a special hobby of mine.” He replied, eyes never leaving the pair.  It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Ignacio, but with him holding her weapons, he wanted to be ready should anyone decide to try anything.  While he’d worked with most of the group before, Ari was an outsider to them.

“What’s she doing here?” the elf said, sounding annoyed.   “Ignacio trying to charm the pants off some noble bitch?  We’ll probably be spending half of tomorrow having to keep her from being killed.” 

Zevran tsked continuing to polish the daggers.  “If you expect to make it past your Apprenticeship with the Crows, you should learn to trust you superior, Lysette.” Zevran replied sternly.  He pointed to Ari with the dagger tip,  “That there is the Hero of Ferelden.  She led the attack against the Archdemon.  Do not let her pretty face fool you, she is a brilliant Commander.  You would be wise to pay attention, learn from her.”

Lysette scoffed, jealousy entering her voice “She’s not so pretty. Twenty silvers says she’s in his tent by the end of the night.”

Zevran smirked.  “Deal”, looking up to see Ari walking towards them he gave her a warm smile.

“You know, it gets cold up here at night.  I could always help keep your tent warm.” Lysette purred in his ear.

Zevran shook his head and smiled but didn’t answer, handing Ari her daggers as she sat next to him. “Ari, this is Lysette, apprentice Crow.  Lysette…” he turned to the elf who was storming off.  “I get the feeling she does not like you, My Warden.” 

Ari laughed.  “I stopped her from stealing my coin purse about a year ago.  You can thank her by the way for ‘Braska’” she chuckled. “Besides, dear husband, based on how she was looking at you just now, I don’t think that’s her problem with me now.”

Zevran took her hand and kissed the back of it.  “Too bad for her then that I only desire you, my Queen.” He gave her a smile he knew always made her melt.

Off on the edge of camp Lysette watched as the couple was talking.  She snarled when saw Zevran lean over to kiss Ari on the cheek.    She was going to need to figure out some way to get rid of that noble bitch who kept getting in her way.

*** 

The group encircled the slaver camp.  They had met earlier in the morning, Ari explaining the plan of attack, each knowing where they were to be at the start.  Ari gave the wave of her hand signaling them all to move into place.  Seeing them all in position, she gave the next signal, and Zevran let out a flaming arrow, setting the supply wagon on fire.   Ari signaled again, as another Crow shot another arrow, catching one of the nearby tents.

The slavers split up, immediately trying to put out the fires, gather water and circle to protect the captured elves at the same time.   Ari let out a whistle, and Ignacio and Zevran moved from opposite ends of the camp, slitting throats of two of the slavers as they moved.  Ari stepped out into the clearing, immediately engaging in battle with a slaver that was running her way.  She attacked and parried, blades bouncing off the attacker’s daggers.  She rolled and was behind him before he could react, her blade coming across to slit his throat.  As he fell, she looked off to her left in time to see one of the slavers moving behind Zevran as he was battling two others.  There wasn’t enough time for her to get there to stop him, and if she called out he’d be overtaken by all three.

She knelt and tossed her blade, it struck the would be attacker in the back, he slumped without a word.  Ari rushed over to his side, grabbing her knife out of the dead man’s back on the way.  They moved into their typical fighting stance, back to back, each taking on an attacker.  Zevran clicked his tongue twice, signaling Ari to duck as he twisted around surprising the slaver that had been battling Ari with a slice across the throat.  They both then turned their attentions on the remaining slaver, and made quick work of him.

“Andraste’s arse!” Ari yelled, holding out her hand to help Zevran up from the ground.  “Where in the blight is Pierre? He was supposed to be backing you.”

Zevran pointed over near the cages, “The fire spread, he went to let the captives free.”

“That was Lysette’s job.  Where is she?” Ari growled.  She looked to the right in time to see Lysette drop a slaver and turn with a smile that said she was proud over herself.  Ari stormed over to her, Zevran pulling Ignacio along trying to keep up as he passed the man.

“Just what do you think you were doing?” Ari snarled. “I told you to release the captives.  Your disobeying orders nearly cost Zevran’s life.”  She was glaring at the woman.

“Our mission was to eliminate the slavers, weren’t nuttin’ on the contract about saving no slaves.” Lysette answered, her face inches from Ari.  “Besides, you ain’t no Crow.  I don’t take orders from you, shem”

Ari started to jump at Lysette but didn’t get far as Ignacio had a hold of her arms and pulled her back, putting his arm around her to walk her elsewhere to cool off.  While he didn’t disagree with Ari, he didn’t want to find out what kind of trouble there might be if she had beaten an Apprentice as badly as he had a feeling she might have.

Zevran watched them walk off and then turned his attention to Lysette.  “You are not going to make it long if you don’t learn to do as you are told.” He sternly told her.  “Master Ignacio told you she was in charge, that should be enough for you to follow orders.”

“I’m not taking orders from that bitch!” Lysette snarled.

“That is the second time you have called her that.  There will not be a third.” Zevran warned her, his eyes growing cold.

“Come on, Zev, let’s not talk about her anymore.” She purred, and moved to throw her arms around his neck, moving her face closer.

Zevran moved his hands in between her arms quickly pushing them away while grabbing her wrists to push them down and her back from him at the same time.

“You need to learn to be more observant, think before you act.” He said, his voice still remaining calm, his eyes still cold.

“Oh you’re not going to actually turn me down over some flat eared shem, are you?” Lysette pouted.

“You will either speak about her with respect or you will not speak about my  _ wife _ at all.” He glared at her.  

Lysette opened her mouth in shock at his words, her hands moved to her blades.  She looked down at where they should have been and then back up to see that Zevran had them in his hand.  He threw them into the ground so that they both stuck in a few inches.

“You have much to learn before you ever become a Crow.  I doubt you will ever be ready.” He shook his head at her and walked off towards where Ignacio and Ari had gone to.

Lysette watched him as he walked off.  “I’m not giving up that easily” she whispered to him quieter than he could hear.


	40. She Doesn't Like You

_Ari-_

_Sorry I’m going to miss Eleanor’s second birthday.  I should be able to get leave though in a few months, so I’ll see you all then.  So much going on here in Kirkwall.  There’s been some rumors of blood mages, and we’ve had some recruits acting strange._

_Before I forget, something I lost and you found and then you lost has turned up here, I’m afraid I can’t say much more._

_Please wish Eleanor a Happy Birthday from me._

_-Cullen_

***

_Cullen –_

_Eleanor will be thrilled to see you no matter when you come.  She is a non-stop talker now.  Talks to me, talks to her Father, to Marcus, to Fiss, and to her stuffed druffalo when no one else will listen.  You have been warned!_

_While in Kirkwall, if you see the Griffon, please let it know that Antiva is safe should it ever need to fly away._

_See you soon. Enclosed is something for you as well, I’ll let you guess from who. She insisted I send this to you when she found out I was writing to you._

_\- Ari_

 

 

***

Ari walked with Marcus and Eleanor through the vendors looking for the ingredients needed for Chef to make Eleanor’s cake.  The King was arriving that evening, and Fergus the next day.  Eleanor loved spending time with Fergus.  While he could never stay more than a few days at a time, he made a point of visiting at least once a season.  Ari suspected it was not only because they were his only family, but that staying in Highever alone for too long was wearing on him with the ghosts there.  She told Zevran how much she hoped her brother would remarry, so that he wasn’t so alone.  

Eleanor was super excited to know that they were both coming to town at the same time.   She’d actually not yet met the King, but seeing how excited her mother was about this man’s arrival made her excited. It was manifesting itself, however, in her getting particularly over active and quick to temper.

Ari was at a stall waiting for the merchant to put some flour into a sack for her, and reaching down every few seconds to pry one thing after another from Eleanor’s fingers as the girl kept reaching up to find something to play with.  This trip to the market was not fun.  Eleanor turned around to face Marcus, and reach her hands up to the man. “Biff” she said.

He had a sharp face, his eyes looking cold and constantly moving about looking for any signs of danger, his mouth usually in a line (however he had been known to relax and even smile at times when in the Arainai house).  His black hair cut short, and added with his muscular build, gave the impression of a military man, not the nanny Zevran kept trying to pass him off as.  Despite the outwardly gruff appearance, Eleanor seemed to always be relaxed around him, and he was always kind to her.  He passed down the Druffalo he had been holding, otherwise known as Biff.  Eleanor immediately pulled it to her chest.  She was pretty much never without it, only handing it off to Marcus if she didn’t want to hold it any more.

“Well hello little one,” a woman spoke with a thick Antivan accent.  “What a pretty dolly you have there.”

Eleanor looked up at the dark haired woman and stepped behind her mother’s legs.  While she was friendly and affectionate with those she knew, she still was timid around anyone new.  Especially anyone Mamá or Papá did not introduce her to first.  Eleanor thought this woman looked mean, she might even try to take Biff away, so staying behind Mamá’s legs seemed the safest place to be.

“Marcus, take her please.” Ari said, her eyes not leaving the woman for a second.

Once she felt Eleanor’s hand leave her leg, and heard Marcus stand back up, she knew he had her without having to look.  It was only then she felt safe to speak.

“Lysette.” She eyed the woman.  “You will kindly refrain from speaking to my daughter again.”

The elf made a snorting noise.  “ _If_ I wanted to harm her I would have just done something, your paranoia seems a little much.”

“It’s nothing personal,” Ari continued, her voice displaying no emotion.  “The same rule applies for Master Ignacio, she is off limits to any Crows.  Speaking of, I understand congratulations are in order, that you have become a full member.”

“I don’t need your congratulations, shem.” The elf spat.

“Yes, just as sweet and friendly as ever.” Ari nodded.  “I can’t imagine for the life of me why Zevran wouldn’t be interested in you.”

Lysette’s eyes narrowed at her words.

Ari then turned, thanked the merchant for the flour, and walked past Marcus, taking Eleanor from his arms so that he could follow behind her, keeping his eyes moving to ensure the Crow was not following.

***

Ari _finally_ got a **very** cranky and overtired two year old to sleep and stepped back into the study where Zevran and Alistair were laughing over some story the King had just shared.  They both turned with smiles for her as she entered the room.  Alistair had arrived while she was trying to put the child down, so introductions would have to wait until the next day.

“Ah, my dear wife, she is finally asleep?” Zevran asked, kissing her cheek when she was close enough.

“Maker yes, finally.  She was a handful all day.  Are you sure you’ll be ok without backup?” she playfully poked her husband in the rib.

He laughed, “Si.  I was a Crow, I think I can handle a difficult two year old.”

Ari rolled her eyes, “Yeah, good luck with that.  Ali, it’s so good to see you,” she hugged her old friend. “You ready to see a little of the city?  I’ve been given the night off from ‘Mom’ duties.” She gave Zevran a quick peck on the lips as she and the King made their way out, the King’s guards waiting outside the door for them.

Alistair crooked his arm for Ari, and she held onto it with her hand, as they started out.  “It certainly is warm here.” He commented.  Already Ari had showed him the waterfront pier that was popular, as well as where some of the galleries they could see during the day were.

“Yes, well aren’t you glad I insisted you leave your robes and such at home?” she smiled. “I’m so happy you’re here, Ali.  I missed you so much.”

“There is always a place for you all in Denerim,” he smiled back.  “I happen to know the King personally.”

“Oh Rylock, can’t you even smile just a little bit?  I have a friend who’s a Templar, so I know you’re allowed to smile.” She teased the King’s Guard-Commander who just ignored her.

“Try not to annoy the guards, Ari.” Alistair shook his head at her with a smirk.  “I do need them you know.”

“Fine, I’ll play nice.” She feigned annoyance, while winking at Rylock, knowing that would just annoy the woman more.

“Come, this is the tavern I wanted to take you to.  Trust me, you’ll like it,” she said, pulling him along.

They found a table quickly.  Looking around Alistair could see that the clientele was a higher class than those at the Pearl.  They appeared not to be nobles, but definitely not the dregs of society either.

The bar maid appeared, “What can I get you Lady A?”

“Karen,” Ari answered. “Please bring us two ales and your cheese plate.” She looked at Alistair.  “Better make that two”

Alistair laughed at that.  “I’m that predictable.”

“Seriously, they’re not going to sit, are they?” Ari said looking at Rylock and the other guard who were at attention behind the King.

“Would be poor guards if they got drunk on the job, wouldn’t they?” Alistair winked at her.

Ari laughed.  It had been two years since she had seen her best friend face to face.  There had been plenty of letters back and forth, but this was the first time he was really here.  She had been so nervous the last two weeks.  What if being King had changed him too much? What if being a mother had changed her too much?  What if they just found they didn’t connect anymore?  Zevran did his best to reassure her that she was worried for nothing, that just like with her brother, she’d see that time and distance wouldn’t change a thing.  It was his suggestion that she and the King go out tonight to reconnect and set her mind at ease.  Still, Ari couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach.

“So, you as nervous that things would be awkward as I have been?  Maker knows I’d be lost without you, so I hope nothing’s changed” Alistair asked.  

Ari’s shoulders instantly fell as she relaxed, knowing that he had been just as worried took all the tension away.  She moved around the table so that she was on the same bench as him and threw her arms around him.  He quickly returned the hug.  “I’ve missed you Ali.  And yes, I was worried that you’d find me dull now, being a mother isn’t anywhere near as exciting as King.”

Alistair scoffed.  “You just think it’s exciting because you’re not having to sit through the meetings I have to.  Only time they’re bearable is if your brother’s in them.  Even then, Eamon rolls his eyes at me.  Any chance you can come back with me and yell at him again?  I think he’s scared of you.”

The ale and cheese arrived, and the two quickly fell into a comfortable conversation as if they’d never been apart, just as Zevran had told her would happen.  Ari remained on the same bench as Alistair, while they laughed and watched others around the tavern, sometimes whispering comments to each other about what they imagined the others in the bar were actually like.

Alistair leaned over and whispered to Ari, although not so quiet, as they had both had several ales at that point.  “She does _not_ like you.  Think she has a thing for Kings and that’s her problem?”

Ari looked up to where he was indicating and nearly spit her beer as she laughed.  “Sorry, she’s more into sexy former Crows with blonde hair.  And yeah, she actually doesn’t like me.”

Alistair looked back to Ari, “Maker, I was kidding.  You’re serious?”

“Completely.  She’s been throwing herself at him for months now.  Apparently she’s decided I’m the problem and not that he’s just not interested.  You think she’d be busy being a new Crow, but apparently she still has time to magically appear wherever I am.”

“Andraste’s arse” Alistair blurted out, then blushed when he realized this was louder than he meant.  He lowered his voice, “You certainly know how to find trouble, don’t you?  You really think it’s wise to be so cavalier about a jealous Crow?”

“Yeah, well she’s all upset because of a mission we had that she didn’t follow orders on, and I stopped her from pick pocketing me a few years back.”

Alistair shook his head, “Should I be leaving guards here with you?”

Ari laughed, “Nah.  She’s just grumpy, sort of like Morrigan.” Ari looked down for a moment sad, at the mention of her name. “She makes Rylock here seem like Leli.”

Rylock grunted, but said nothing.

“Come on, it’s late, and I have a cranky two year old to introduce you to in the morning.  ‘Sides, it’s not as fun in here with grumpy over there.” Ari stood, pulling up Alistair.  As they walked out of the bar, Alistair wrapped an arm around her, feeling the need to protect her.  As soon as he did, he felt happy doing something that felt so familiar.

Lysette kept her eyes on them, a small smile coming across her face.  She couldn’t wait to tell Zevran what she saw, knowing for sure it would change things.

Alistair and his guards walked Ari back to her home.  He bade her goodnight.  After she disappeared through the front door, he ordered one of his guardsman to stay outside the door until he sent relief when he returned to his estate.  He then returned to the estate with Rylock.  He knew Ari would be pissed if she knew he did it, but he doubted he’d sleep well otherwise.

***

The next morning Alistair was sitting at the table having tea with Zevran when Ari entered, carrying Eleanor, who was carrying Biff, of course.  Eleanor immediately reached out for Zevran as soon as she saw him and happily crawled into his lap when Ari handed her over.

“Someone is a bit of a ‘Daddy’s girl’, she laughed, explaining to Alistair.

“Princesa,  this here is your uncle,  King Alistair.  He fought in the blight with Mamá and Papá.  He’s who Mamá was all excited to see.”

The little girl hid behind Biff, just her eyes peeking out over it.

Alistair gave her a sweet smile.  “That’s a pretty druffalo you have there.  What’s his name?”

“Biff” Eleanor answered proudly, no longer hiding behind the toy.  “Uncle Nate gave him to me.”

“Well, hello Biff.  Very nice to meet you.  It’s very nice to meet you too, Eleanor.  Your Mamá and Papá have told me all about you.”

The little girl looked him over, as if sizing him up.  Alistair had to hold back a chuckle thinking how even though she  looked a lot like Zevran, she definitely had her mother’s personality.  “You were brave like Papá?”

“Hey, I was there too, you know.” Ari teased, poking the girl in the rib eliciting a giggle.

“I know, hard to believe.” Alistair answered Eleanor.  “I don’t look nearly as tough, do I.  But here, look, I have muscles.”  He flexed his arm.  Eleanor reached out after looking at her father who nodded to her.  She giggled when Alistair moved his muscle around when she touched it.

“He’s pretty silly, isn’t he?” Zevran asked the giggling girl.  “Shall we keep him?”

Eleanor nodded, “Yes, keep Uncle King.”

Ari laughed, “I think she thinks that’s your first name.”

Alistair joined her in the laugh.  “Well I like it.  Uncle King it is.”

Eleanor suddenly pushed Biff forward, offering him to Alistair.  “Haf to give back later.” She explained.

“Oh yes.  I can see you love him very much, I will for sure.” Alistair nodded, smiling as he pet the druffalo, and entertained the girl in Zevran’s lap by making the Druffalo “talk” and walk around the table.

***

Two weeks after Eleanor’s party Zevran was in a shop looking over some items.  Ari’s Nameday was coming up in another month and he wanted to find just the right thing for her.  He knew she didn’t need the fancy items he always gave her.  She had reassured him that even though she had grown up a noble, she didn’t miss all the finery.  She told him she was happier just wrapped in his arms than any shiny bobble could ever make her.  What she didn’t understand, he thought, was how happy it made him to give her the finery.  She was more than he had ever thought he could have in life, and he vowed to continue showering her with beautiful things to show her just what she meant to him.

He was currently debating between a dagger he knew she’d love and something pretty instead of practical.  The dagger appeared to be well balanced, yet light enough that she could twirl and throw it as she enjoyed doing.  He knew it was not the typical gift a man might give a wife, but she was anything but the typical wife.  He was also considering some ribbons that he thought would look stunning in her hair.  She had grown it back out the past year, and it was half way down her back, looking much like it had during the blight.  She had even commented once how she wished Leliana was around to braid it for her again.

Zevran continued to debate which to get, knowing it would probably be both, but he felt he should at least act like he was trying not to spoil her.  He noticed a small wooden practice dagger, almost child sized, and decided to grab that as well.  A gift for his daughter, his second favorite lady to spoil.

“What do you think boy, which one for our Lady?” he asked Fiss who was patiently standing beside him.  He couldn’t be sure, but it seemed as if the dog was rolling his eyes at him.  He probably also knew he was wasting their time and would just get both.  Fiss then let out a small noise, not quite a growl, but not a pleased noise either.

Zevran shook his head, because he knew not only who was behind him, but found it amusing that she really thought she could sneak up behind him.

“What is is Lysette?” he asked without turning around.  “We do not leave for two more days, I doubt you require my assistance until then.”

Zevran motioned to the merchant that he was ready to make his purchase, choosing everything of course.  He knew Ari would tell him it was too much, but he couldn’t wait to see the ribbons in her hair, or the first time she twirled the dagger.  He just hoped she wasn’t too upset about Eleanor’s gift.

Lysette walked up beside him, her hand drifting along his back.  “Oh Zev, I just wanted to say hi” she said with a smile.

Zevran huffed, Fiss beside him let out a slightly louder almost-growl again.  “I doubt that.  I am busy as you can see, “ he motioned to the gifts, handing the merchant some coin.

“This is for _her_?” Lysette nearly growled.  Then softened her voice again.  “Oh Zevie, she doesn’t deserve this.  I didn’t want to tell you, but I think you need to hear this.” Her hands  moving to grab his arm.

He disengaged her hand quickly and turned to face her while the merchant wrapped up his purchases.  “Really?  I cannot wait to hear what totally unbiased information you could possibly have to share.”

“Oh Zev, I’m sorry, don’t be upset with me,” Lysette reached out and placed her hand on his chest.  “She’s not who you think she is.  She’s being unfaithful, I’m sorry Zev, but I saw it with my own two eyes.”

“Oh really?” he asked, rolling his eyes.  “And who is this mystery man, or didn’t you bother to find that out?”

“Zev, I’m sorry.” Lysette rubbed her hand along his chest and stepped in closer.  “It’s the Ferelden King.”

Zevran let out a loud laugh and stepped away, taking his purchases from the merchant and turning to the door.

“Zev, it’s true, I swear, I saw them at the tavern a few weeks back.”

“Oh,” Zevran said turning to face her as he stopped and walked back to her to leer at her.  She seemed to think at first that he meant for something more as she started to move towards him. “I have no doubt of that, I was the one that suggested that place.  But once again, Lysette, if you wish to truly be a successful Crow, you need to learn to be observant to what is going on without letting your personal bias cloud your judgement.”

Lysette made to protest, but Zevran stopped her.  “Oh, I have no doubt she was there with the King.  She probably even hugged him, I’m sure they were laughing, toasting.  What I do doubt is that she is unfaithful to me.  Especially not with a man she considers a brother.”

“How can you continue to be fooled by that shem?” Lysette growled at him.

“How is it that you cannot take a hint that I am not interested in anything you have to offer?” he replied, and then left with the mabari in tow.


	41. The Templar and the Princess

The next 8 months were, well, strange.  Ari didn’t see much of Lysette, although she knew the woman was still on some of the jobs Zevran had been handling with Ignacio.  But four months ago someone had cut off all her flowers in the front yard.  Two months ago there was a dead rat on the front doorstep.  A few days before Zevran had left for his current assignment an arrow had hit their door, narrowly missing Ari.  As a result Zevran, much to Ari’s complaining, told her that while he was away Marcus was to answer the door, and open it first before she could exit.   

“It’s not like we don’t know who’s behind all this.  Why can’t we just do something?” she asked, clearly annoyed but keeping her voice down so Eleanor wouldn’t hear.

Zevran shook his head. “She is a full Crow now.  If we do anything to harm her now, no matter how justified, the Crows will retaliate.” He ran his hands down her arms trying to calm her.  “I will speak with Ignacio.  Let him handle it.”

“I don’t like just sitting back and doing nothing, Zev.” She growled, still keeping her voice down, but moving in for a hug.

He laughed as he embraced her, “I know, mi amor.  You are more the punch it out type.”

***

Eleanor was running around on the floor of the salon playing with Biff and her play dagger in the other hand.  From what Ari could make out, they were fighting a dragon, and off to rescue Uncle King and Uncle Nate.  They of course didn’t tell her most of what took place during the blight, but Eleanor’s favorite bedtime stories were ones where her parents fought a dragon.  In this particular adventure, apparently Marcus was the dragon, which he was good naturedly playing along with.

She smiled at her daughter’s active imagination while looking back down at the dining room table to read the letters from Nate and Fergus.  There was a knock at the door, and she stood up, only to have Marcus walk by and down the stairs to get it, holding his hand up to remind her of the deal.  She could hear him talking to someone and peeked down the stairs.  She waved her hands back to let the visitor know to step back outside.

“Ele,” she called out loudly enough for the men downstairs to hear her, “Marcus needs your help.  Can you go down stairs and help him open the door? It’s very heavy”

“Yes, Mamá”, the girl called out.  “Stay here Biff, guard Mamá” she said, placing the doll on the table and walked to the stairs.  At nearly three, she was able to move around without any help anymore.

Ari peeked back down the stairs where  Eleanor was now nearly the bottom.  “You ready, I need you to help me see who’s at the door,” Marcus instructed.  Ari covered her mouth to keep from laughing at the serious expression on Eleanor’s face as she nodded.

Marcus opened the door and Ari could see the visitor bent down to be closer to the girl’s height.  “UNCLE CULLEN” Eleanor screamed with delight and threw herself at the man.  Cullen happily caught her up in his arms and lifted her with ease while Marcus helped him with his bag.  He was wearing a cotton shirt and light pants, finally having learned after a few visits that it was hot in Antiva, and that little girls did not like climbing on Templar armor.  He made his way up the stairs, Eleanor excitedly squirming against him, giving him kisses on his cheek while her arms were around his neck, causing laughs from him.

As he reached the top, Eleanor turned her head around to Ari, “Mamá, Mamá, look, Uncle Cullen is here!!”

“I see that Princesa.  I’m happy to see him too.”  Cullen put Eleanor down and gave Ari a hug.  Eleanor clung to his leg however.

“It’s so good to see you,” she laughed.  “And obviously Eleanor is pretty excited too.  I wasn’t expecting you for another two days, you made good time.”

“Are you stayin’ here?” Eleanor asked practically bouncing.

Cullen bent down again, “That’s the plan.  Is that ok with you?” he tapped her once playfully on the nose.  

She nodded and clapped her hands.  Then Eleanor looked a little sad and looked at Ari.  “Papá not here.  He’ll miss Uncle Cullen.”

“He’ll be home tomorrow, Ele.  Uncle Cullen will be staying almost a week, so Papá will see him.” She assured the girl.  “Now how about we let him further in the apartment now, ok?  Want to show him to his room so he can put his bag away?”

Eleanor quickly grabbed Cullen’s hand.  “Come, this is where Uncle Fergus stays but it’s your room this time.”

Cullen laughed and waved goodbye to Ari as he went by.  “We’ll get to catch up after she goes to bed.” Ari laughed back.

***

Zevran came home the next day, hearing squeals of a child’s laughter coming from above, and what sounded like someone imitating a horse.  Coming to the top of the stairs, he saw Ari talking to Marcus, her back to him so she did not see him approach.  He signaled to Marcus to not give him away, as he crept up behind his wife, twirling her around and catching her in a kiss, swallowing up her surprised yelp.  She melted into his arms as soon as she realized it was him.

He looked over to the salon, seeing Eleanor perched upon Cullen’s back, her legs through his arms, and her one hand clinging to his shoulder, while her other held out her toy dagger.  “Go horsy”  she called out, while Cullen galloped around.  He nodded to Zevran as he went by.

“I see like her mother, our daughter has the ability to make grown men do silly things.” He laughed, pulling Ari close.

“Well, the advantage is he has her distracted for the minute.” Ari ran her finger along Zevran’s chin, while the other hand ran behind his neck, running through his hair.

He hummed in appreciation and began running his tongue along her lips.  He deepened the kiss, pulling apart only when they heard  a little girl say “Ewwww” coming from the kitchen door.  

Zevran looked up to see Eleanor still upon Cullen’s back.   “They do that everytime Papá goes away for work.” She rolled her eyes, causing all the adults to laugh.

***

Cullen was sleeping, but he could feel something poking him in the cheek pulling him into the waking world.  He opened his eyes, adjusting to the light coming in the window, he shielded his eyes with his hand.  That’s when he saw what had been poking him.  It was a finger, attached to a little blonde girl sitting on his bead.

“You awake Uncle Cullen?” she asked.

Cullen smiled immediately.  “I am now.” He laughed.

“Mamá said I had to wait for you to wake up.” She whispered.

“Well, now I’m awake.  Let’s go find some breakfast, what do you say?” he swung his legs over the bed, dressed in sleep pants and an undershirt.  He took her hand as she led him to the dining table where her parents sat.

“Eleanor Alise” Ari looked at the girl.  “Did you wake him up?”

“But he woulda missed the fair Mamá” Eleanor explained.  Zevran chuckled at that, earning him a gentle elbow from Ari.

“Eleanor, the fair is going on for two days, I doubt Uncle Cullen would have slept that long.” Ari shook her head.  “Let him sit down, go to the kitchen and ask Chef to bring him some tea and breakfast, ok?”

“Sorry,” Ari said when Eleanor headed into the kitchen.  “She was a little excited to show you the fair I think.”

Cullen laughed, “It’s ok, sleep is overrated anyway.”

“Mamá, Marcus is gonna go too,” she sang.

“Letter for you Ser,” Marcus handed Zevran a note after passing a plate of eggs and bread to Cullen.  

Zevran read it, and smiled.  “It seems the troublesome one has been sent to Orlais on a long fact finding mission.  Expected to be gone at least 10 months.”

“Good news, I take it?” Cullen asked in between bites.

“The best” Ari smiled.

***

When they returned to the house, Ari wondered who was more exhausted, the girl passed out in Zevran’s arms or the templar.  Clearly they had both had a great time.  As Zevran carried Eleanor to her bed, Ari and Cullen made their way to the salon while Marcus bid them a goodnight.  

Ari handed Cullen a glass of brandy and poured one for herself.  “So, what’s the news on Anders?”

“He’s set up a clinic in the poorest area of town.  He won’t charge them, either.  I think you’d be proud.” Cullen nodded.

“Is he safe?” She asked, “I mean from…” she moved her finger up and down, pointing at Cullen.

“The Templars?” he asked, “So far I’ve been able to keep them from noticing him, yes.”

“Thanks,” she smiled.

“He’s doing good work, and he’s become a friend.  Plus I know what it means to you, I’m happy to do it.” Cullen nodded.  “And if anyone were to ask, he’s a Warden, it makes it risky to touch him anyway.”

***

“Mamá” Eleanor crawled into her parent’s bed, maneuvering over Ari, to get between the two of them. “Uncle Cullen is making loud noises in his room”

“It’s ok, Princesa,” Ari snuggled the girl into the blankets.  “He is just having a bad dream, he’s ok.” She kissed her forehead.

Eleanor yawned, “Ok Mamá.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.” Ari said, falling back asleep.

“Night Mamá”

 

**Art from mianzuart.tumblr:**

** **


	42. A Picnic

_ Hey Warden Commander Howe! _

_ Congratulations on the promotion.  You’ll be happy to know that ‘Biff’ and Eleanor decided we should have some cake after dinner last night to celebrate for you. _

_ Can you believe she’s four already?  Time flies by too fast. I’m starting to see some of my mother in her.  Sometimes that makes me so happy, like Ma is here again. _

_ Miss you- _

_ Ari _

*** 

Lysette had been back at least three months.  Ari knew that for sure, when she had spotted the woman across the market.  She was followed by 4 men, most likely fellow Crows, Ari figured.  Lysette, however, was not looking for Ari, and besides that one time, Ari hadn’t seen or heard from her since.  Zevran confirmed that he also had only come across her on one job, and she was nothing but professional the whole time.

Maybe the job away had worked it’s magic.  Or maybe she found some other fool to hang off of.  Either way, all Ari knew was Lysette seemed to have lost interest in harassing her.  There hadn’t been a plant out of place in front of their home, no one sneaking around behind them when they went out, no spying from across a tavern.

Ari felt like she was finally able to relax for the first time in a long time.

*** 

Marcus knew he was in trouble.  His attacker was unlike any other he had ever seen.  She did not seem to follow any method of combat that he knew of.   She fought with undisciplined attacks, thrusting when she should parry, not appearing to see clear openings, yet somehow she had him at an advantage. All his years of training as an... uh… nanny had not prepared him for this.  

She circled him, her blade passing from hand to hand, a serious look on her face.  So far he had managed to dodge out of the way, but he feared his luck may soon run out.

He started to dodge left, but instead tripped, and fell to the ground.  His attacker took advantage and stabbed him right in the gut.  His hands went to cover his would.  “Ugh” he called out.  “I can’t believe you got me.”  And he fell silent.

His attacker circled, then bent down near his face, and giggled.

“Rogues don’t giggle” Ari called out from the dining room where she was writing a letter.

“Oops,” Eleanor said, and then squealed as Marcus rose up and grabbed her in his arms, beginning to tickle her.

“Surrender,” he cried.

“You’re dead, Marcus” Eleanor squealed through her laughter.

“I’ve been brought back by a necromancer, surrender.” He growled at her, causing Eleanor to fall into even more rolling giggles and finally surrendering.

*** 

Zevran returned home that evening, having only been gone the day to help a local farmer chase off  some wolves that had been harassing the flocks.  He raised an eyebrow, seeing Eleanor eating cake instead of dinner.  He kissed Ari and sat down to the table.

“I see we’re having cake for dinner today.” Zevran teased.

“Your daughter here surrendered to a necromanced Marcus in exchange for cake.  We have raised a weak child.” She answered, winking at Eleanor, who laughed at her mother.

“Ah,” he nodded.  “Yes, definitely more training is needed, to toughen her up”, he reached over, poking Eleanor in the ribs, causing the girl to squirm and giggle.

“Papá,” Eleanor said, finishing her cake.  “Marcus said tonight’s a full moon.” She watched him expectedly.

“It is?” Zevran said, feigning surprise. “Hmm, I wonder what that could mean?” he looked to Ari.

“I don’t know,” Ari said, “Probably means we should all just go to sleep early.”

Eleanor looked between her parents.  “Papá, it means we have a picnic!” she said to him very seriously.  “Did you forget?”

“Of course not, Princesa,” Zevran smiled at her.  “That is why I made sure to be home tonight.  Go get ready.” He shooed her off.

After she had left, he pulled Ari into his lap and kissed her slowly.  “What will you do while we are off, bonita?”

“I’m thinking a nice relaxing bubble bath.” She sighed.

Zevran’s arms tightened around her.  “My Warden, it is not nice to put such thoughts in my head when I need to head out.”

Ari chuckled, and kissed his chin working her way to his ear, “But it gives you something to look forward to, my love.”  She licked his ear, causing his arms to tighten more as he kissed her, moaning into her mouth.

“Eww, stop that.” Eleanor groaned, as she reentered the room.  

Ari laughed and shooed Eleanor out to the kitchen to get the basket from Chef.

Zevran waited again until Eleanor left, then looked a Ari with more seriousness.  “There is rumors of some in fighting with the Crows.  We need to be vigilant, should something happen.”

Ari nodded, understanding that they’d been lucky so far to be able to live in Antiva, only because the Guildmaster allowed them to.  You usually did not leave the Crows alive, Zevran was the one exception.

*** 

They sat upon the blanket spread out on the beach where they always had their picnics.  From here they had a clear view of the moon, and were away from the noise of the city.

Zevran handed Eleanor one of the sandwiches Chef had prepared for them and sat back, leaning on his arms.  Eleanor curled up next to him, her head resting on his legs while she looked at the moon.

“You grew up here, Papá?” she asked.  She already knew that, but she loved hearing stories about when he was young.  He had to work to tell her things at an appropriate level for a four year old.

“I did, little one.”  He said, running his hand along her head.  “On the other side of the city from where we live now.”

“Did your Papá take you here too?” she asked.

“I did not know my Papá, Eleanor.” He answered.  “My mother died when I was young too, I was raised by her…. Friends”

Eleanor rolled over looking at her father.  “Mamá said that Uncle Fergus used to have a boy, but he died.”

“That’s right, Princesa.  But I will protect you, so you do not need to worry about that.” He looked at her, with softened eyes.

She nodded. “Mamá  says he was a good Papá.  Maybe Uncle Fergus can be your Papá.”

Zevran chuckled, and looked at his daughter with love.  He adored that she wanted to make sure everyone was ok.  He bent down and kissed her head, and she rolled back around to look at the moon again, going back to eating her sandwich.

***

“Uncle King?”

“Yes, Eleanor?” Alistair asked picking up the girl and placing her in his lap.

“How come you don’t come visit more?” She asked him as she snuggled into his arms, clearly ready for a nap.

“Because I live far away in Denerim.  Also being King takes a lot of my time.  I wish I could come see you more.” He explained.

“But, you have all my drawings?” She asked him.

“I do.  I keep everyone you send.  Are you going to take a nap?” Alistair asked.

“No, not tired,” the girl yawned.

Ari entered the room a few minutes later with tea for her and Alistair.  She saw Eleanor sleeping in her friend’s arms. “Here, Ali.  I can put her in her bed.”

“No, leave her.  I like having her here.  I don’t get to see either of you nearly enough for my liking as it is.  What good is being King when you can’t order your best friend to move closer?” He teased her.  He loved being here.  This home was the one place he wasn’t treated different, he wasn’t the King in these walls.  Here he was just family and loved for himself, not for his title.

“I’ve missed you to, Ali,” she smiled at him.

***

**< two months later>**

A loud knocking came from the door.  Ari and Zevran looked at each other, and he moved Eleanor off his lap as he rose to answer it.  He held his hand up to Marcus as he entered the walkway, letting the man know he would see to it.  When he opened the door a young man, probably no more than fifteen was leaning over, hands on his knees and clearly out of breath.  He held up a piece of paper to Zevran and continued to catch his breath.

Zevran read the note and slammed the door shut, quickly moving upstairs.  “Marcus, get the bags now, we leave immediately.”

Ari rose looking at Zevran with concern.  He handed her the note, and picked up Eleanor and Biff, and whistled for Fiss to follow.

_ Z- _

_ Get out of Antiva now.  Lysette has taken over as Guildmaster and plans to attack with a large number of Crows right after nightfall. _

_ -I _

Ari’s face became pale.  They had planned for this for months, had bags packed with anything they couldn’t live without, ready to go at a moment’s notice, but she still didn’t think they’d ever need to actually flee.  She was pulled from her thoughts by Zevran calling her name.  She followed him, them retreating out the back door and out of the city she had called home for nearly five years.

There’d been no signs they’d been followed after several hours and decided to find a place to set up.  They made camp some trees to rest under as nightfall occurred, Eleanor having passed out about an hour earlier.  Ari placed her in a tent and told Fiss to watch her.  The mabari went inside and layed down next to her, just as he used to do with Ari during the Blight.

Ari was lying on the bedroll looking up at the stars, tears in her eyes for the first time since they had fled.  She was frightened for her family, and angry that once again someone was forcing her to leave her home, never to return.  While they left before the attackers, so it wasn’t as brutal, she couldn’t help but feel similar.

Zevran came up next to her and lied down.  “We’re ok, mi amor.” He said, “Do not dwell on the past, we all are ok.” He kissed her temple.

She looked over at him and nodded as he spoke again.  “Tomorrow, you take Eleanor and Marcus and go to Kirkwall, find Cullen.  Fiss and I will get to Highever.  Once I know it is safe, I will get a ship to you.”

Ari rolled on her side facing him and he wrapped an arm around him when she clung to him.  “No, Zev.” She whispered, “I need to be with you.”

He hugged her tight and kissed her head again.  “Mi amor, I will return, I promise.  I will always come back for you.  We need to keep Eleanor safe.”

Ari nodded, not relenting her grip on him though until sleep finally took her.


	43. Kirkwall

Marian Hawke was not one to be easily surprised anymore.  Not many things seemed odd to her either.  After all, the man that loved _her_ glowed blue and had a spirit in him.  The man _she_ loved glowed blue and stuck his hands in the chests of his enemies, ripping out their hearts.

Walking into Varric’s room in the Hanged Man, however, she stopped up short at the sight in front of her.  So short in fact that Fenris nearly ran into her.  Her breath held for a second when his hand touched her hip to stop himself, but it left just as quickly.  It had been nearly two years since he had left her bed, there had been no repeats, but she still ached for his touch.  She still held hope in her heart that he would return to her.

Sitting at the table was Isabela, with cards in her hands.  Next to her was Varric writing, probably about Marian.  Across from her was Knight Captain Cullen in his usual spot, but on his lap sat a small blonde haired girl, also holding cards.  Did the Knight Captain have children?  He’d never mentioned it in all his years they’d known him.  She remembered seeing a child’s drawing or two in his office the few times she’d been there.  Was this the artist?

A red haired woman entered, carrying a few pints of ale.  “Isabela, you are not teaching my daughter to play Wicked Grace.” She scolded the pirate as she placed a pint in front of Isabela, and one in front of Cullen as she sat next to him.  Was this Cullen’s _wife_?  Did he have a family?

“Oh, come on, it’s not any harm” Isabela teased.

“No, I’m saying you’re not _teaching_ her to play.  Seriously, you don’t think Zevran taught her the second she could hold cards?” The woman asked.

“Andraste’s Knees” the pirate yelled, throwing her cards on the table while Cullen chuckled.

“How much did she get you for?” the woman asked.

“Five silver so far.” Isabela answered.   “You could have told me.”  She said looking at Cullen.

He chuckled again and shrugged.

“Oh, don’t feel so bad, Isabela,” the red head said.  “You got off easy.  She managed to win a pony off of King Alistair.”

The little girl laughed, when she spoke Marian could tell she was from Antiva.  “Uncle Cullen said he’ll teach me to ride.”

“When you’re a little bit bigger,” Cullen corrected her.  So he was an Uncle.  This was a sister then?

Anders entered and Marian heard him say “Holy Maker!”  He maneuvered past them to the table.

“Commander!” he called out excitedly.  

The red haired woman stood from her seat and reached her arms out, pulling him into a hug. “Anders” she called out happily.

Marian wondered just who was this woman that half her friends seemed to already know.

The redhead stood back and regarded him.  “You look…. Well I’d say good, but you look like you could use a meal or seven.”  She reached over to the girl in Cullen’s lap and picked her up in her arms.  “Come here Princesa, I have someone for you to meet.”

“Is this _her_?” Anders asked with wonder.

The Commander nodded.  “Anders, meet Eleanor.  Eleanor, this is Anders.  He was in the Blight with Mamá and Uncle Nate.  He was my healer when you were still in Mamá’s belly.” She explained.  

The little girl clung to her mother, looking a little shy.  Her head was along her mother’s neck, but she watched the mage with curious eyes.  Suddenly her head lifted and her eyes got big.  “Mamá!! Is that Sparklefingers?”

The woman, Cullen and Isabela broke into laughter.  “Oh, why didn’t I ever think of that one, Blondie” Varric shook his head.

“You’ve met Oghren I see” Anders smiled, shaking his head.

Fenris also chuckled at that, drawing the attention of the child, Eleanor who gasped when she saw him.  She squirmed out of her mother’s arms and made her way over to him.  Marian watched as he stiffened slightly as the girl approached.

 _Do NOT put your fist through the child_ she thought, hoping he could read her mind.

Eleanor tugged on his hand to get his attention, and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

Marian prayed she wasn’t about to comment on the lyrium tattoos.  She knew he was sensitive about them, and was worried about how he’d react to the girl pointing them out.

“You have ears like Papá” she said to him.

“Eleanor!” her mother scolded.  “I’m sorry,” she said looking at Fenris.   

He nodded to show no harm done and then looked back down at the girl.  “Will you play with me?” she asked him.  Marian couldn’t help but feel shocked when the usually broody elf smiled, actually smiled at the child and nodded as she led him over to Varric’s bed where she had some toys laid out.  Marian watched for a moment as the girl handed Fenris a wooden sword, while she picked up another wooden weapon and they play fought.  

 _Well at least she found something he would enjoy_ she thought.

“Hawke,” Anders called out her name, beckoning her over.  “Hawke, this is The Hero of Ferelden, Warden Commander Arianna Arainai.  Commander, this is the Champion of Kirkwall, Marian Hawke.”

Marian cringed at the title, looking in awe, this was the woman she had heard so much about for years.

“Ugh,” the woman said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t know about you, but I’d rather just be called Ari. How about you?”

Marian laughed.  “Well let’s not call me Ari, it’ll get too confusing.  How about Hawke?”

“Works for me” Ari smiled.  “You should try it too, Anders.  Since if I’m the Commander, I should probably bring you in for desertion.” She winked at him.

They all found their way to their seats, as Isabela started to deal for a real round of Wicked Grace this time.

“Where’s Zevran?” Anders asked Ari.

“He’ll be here in a week or so hopefully.  He’s in Ferelden now, things didn’t end too well in Antiva.  He’s making sure it’s ok there before we head out.” She said, keeping her voice low enough that Eleanor wouldn’t be able to hear.

They played several rounds, and then Ari looked up and noticed that the child had fallen asleep in Fenris’ lap.  She stood up and walked over.  “Oh, I’m sorry that she’s been monopolizing your time, Fenris.  She hasn’t seen her father in a few weeks. I guess seeing another elf, she just got excited.”

Fenris shook his head again, “It is ok.  She’s… sweet.”

Marian watched, her heart warming.  Watching Fenris play with the girl the last two hours, had made her fall even more in love with him.  Would he be like that someday with their children? She wondered.

Ari stepped into the hall beckoning for someone.  A moment later a large, muscular, dark haired man entered and scooped up the sleeping girl.  “Thank you, Marcus” Ari said to him as he left with the child followed by a templar.

“Who’s that large, beautiful man?” Isabela asked.

“Marcus, the nanny.” Ari said.

“No, really” Isabela asked.

“That’s what I’m supposed to believe from Zevran, so he’s the nanny” she shrugged.

“Why the Templar escort?” Anders asked, sounding a little irritated.

“It’s not what you think, Anders.  He’s just guarding her.” Ari explained.  “We had to flee Antiva.  There’s some out there that would hurt her just to get to Zevran.  It’s to keep her safe.”

***

Anders was helping heal a cough in one of the workers from the Bone Pit when he saw her enter the clinic.  He nodded to acknowledge her, and put his attention back to his patient as he saw her make her way to the table on the side and wait for him.

The miner left, thanking the healer and promising that he would pay him back when he could.  Anders shook his head and said no payment was necessary, and then walked back towards Ari with a smile.  

“Comman… Ari, what can I do for you?  Where’s Eleanor?” he asked.

“She’s on an adventure with Cullen of some sort,” she laughed. “I came down to see you.  I’d heard you set up a clinic.  How are you, Anders, are you ok?” she asked, reaching out her hand to his arm.  “I was worried when Nate said you left.”

Anders looked at her hand on his arm for a minute and then nodded.  “I’m ok.  The people here need help, one that I can provide.”

“I’m sorry about what happened when I left, Anders.  I wanted you to know, that man was removed from command because of it.  Just know you have friends in Ferelden if you ever need.” She smiled at him.

“I left you something on the table.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Come see us in Denerim, ok?  I really am  glad to see you’re ok.”

“Thank you,” he smiled at her.  When she turned to leave his hand went to where she had kissed his cheek and he could feel himself blush.  He turned away before she could notice.

“Come have dinner with us tonight,” she waved as she left.

He looked to where she had been at the table and picked up the note there and a small purse.

_Anders,_

_I knew you’d refuse this if I just gave it to you.  I’d tell you to use it to get yourself some food and new clothes, but from what Cullen tells me you’ll just use it on the clinic.  Just promise me you’ll use a little for a meal.  You really are too skinny._

_\- Ari_

He opened the bag, to see it filled with coin and jewels.  Enough to stock the clinic for the next year he was sure.  He looked back to the door she had exited and smiled.  He could feel his heart beating faster as he held her note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fixed -- apparently Ari's hair changed color half way through the chapter :p


	44. Kirkwall Pt 2

Anders entered the hanged man and spotted Ari sitting at a table.  When she noticed him she gave him a smile that lit up the room.  He sat at the chair beside her and handed her the daisies in his hand.  “One of those is for Eleanor.  Where is she?”  He asked.

“She’s in her room asleep, apparently Cullen did a pretty good job of wearing her out.  I’ll make sure she sees gets her flower in the morning.” Ari smiled at him.

“So, why are we out here instead of back there?” He asked.  “Not that I don’t mind having you to myself.”  Justice grumbled in his head at the emotions he could sense in Anders.

“Hawke and Isabela are meeting with Varric.  Besides I thought it’d be nice having dinner with just you,” Ari smiled at him again.

“You did?” Anders asked nervously.

“Yes,” she patted his hand.  “I missed how much you and I used to talk in the Keep.  I never realized how much time we spent together until I left.  I miss this, just you and me having dinner together.”

She leaned on his arm, and Anders closed his eyes to fight back Justice who was not comfortable with the warring emotions in Anders.  On one hand, it was nice to have his friend here, to have her care for him.  On the other hand he wondered if it would be worth having his throat slit by Zevran just to kiss her right now.  His sense of self preservation won out when she leaned off of him when their dinner arrived.

“Did you know Justice disappeared around the same time as you.” She commented innocently.  “Do you know what became of him?”

**_Do not tell her,_ ** Justice yelled in his head.

_ I KNOW that, I’m not stupid. _ Anders replied.

“No, I am not sure what may have come of him,” he answered, instantly feeling guilty for having lied.

****

Cullen knocked on the door of the room and entered when beckoned.

“Uncle Cullen!” Eleanor called out starting to jump up, and immediately pulled back down by her mother that was braiding her hair.

“Sit, he can come to you.” Ari shook her head, and resumed the braiding while patting the bed for Cullen to come sit beside her. “You’d think she hadn’t seen you in years instead of just yesterday”

Cullen chuckled, “How’s my favorite four year old today?” he asked.

“I’m  _ almost _ five!” she corrected him.

“Oh, yes, quite sorry,” he laughed.  “This came today by Royal messenger, pretty sure it’s what you’ve been waiting for.”

Ari finished up the braid, and tied it off.  She took the note from Cullen as Eleanor climbed up into his lap.

_ Knight Captain Cullen- _

_ You have a week to lock up the women of Kirkwall.  An amorous elf is on his way. _

_ -His Royal Highness, King Alistair Therin _

Ari laughed at the note, “Judging from about when it was sent, your father should be here tomorrow, next day at the latest.” He said looking down to Eleanor.

“Yay!” Eleanor cheered.  “What are we doing today?” she asked him.

“Well  _ I _ have to work today, but I will come back tonight for bedtime stories, ok?” he said rubbing noses with the girl who then nodded and snuggled into his lap.

“Sorry this place was the best I could do on short notice for you,” Cullen apologized looking around the room.

“No need, this is fine.  We can blend in better with the crowd, and Isabela is right across the hall if we need help, plus the guards.  On top of that Marcus has the cot by the door. Really this is just fine, although the ale could be better, tastes like the swill Oghren drank.” She laughed

*** 

“Whatcha drawing, little one?” Ari asked Eleanor as they sat at Varric’s table.  

“That’s me, and Marcus, and Biff and Fenris, and this is a dragon we’re fighting” the girl explained, pointing to each figure on the paper.  “I’m gonna give it to Fenris.”

Isabela laughed.  “She’s just like her mother.  Comes along and snatches up the best looking elf in the bar.”

“I think he may give Cullen a run for her favorite,” Ari chuckled, “Angel of Death card.  Four Songs” she showed her hand.

“Did you teach her to play?” Isabela said to Eleanor, pointing at Ari.

“Still here I see,” Anders said, taking a seat next to Ari, and waving to Eleanor who looked up from her drawing and smiled upon seeing the mage.

“Anders,” the girl called out.  “My Papá is coming tomorrow.  Did you know that the Templars salute when Uncle Cullen walks by? And Lady Hawke has a mabari just like me only hers isn’t as old and is a girl mabari and there’s a bunch of elves by the docks and there’s someone at Hightown that sells candied dates but Uncle Cullen let me have four, oh, I wasn’t supposed to tell Mamá that!  And Lady Hawke has a garden and Fenris lives in a mansion but it’s falling down so I couldn’t go inside and the dwarf that works for Lady Hawke knows Mamá and Papá and Lady Hawke said ‘Did everyone know your mother besides me?’ and she has an elf who bakes cookies, but Uncle Cullen only let me have two, and it was ok to tell Mamá that.”

Anders just stared at the girl with wide eyes trying to process everything that just came out of her mouth.  She reminded him of Merril, he thought. He then let out a small laugh.  “Sounds like you had quite the adventure yesterday then.”

“That was the short version, trust me,” Ari laughed and then looked at Eleanor.  “I have no idea how you said all that in one breath.”

“She probably gets that from Zevran, he could hold his breath a long time.” Isabela explained. “One time, in Ravini he and I….”

“Not appropriate in front of the wife.   _ Definitely _ not appropriate in front of the daughter, Isabela.” Ari interrupted her.

“Oh, right.” Isabela said, taking a sip from her ale, “She seems like Merril, doesn’t she?” she said to Anders, who laughed.

Ari signaled for Norah to bring over a stew.  When she appeared with it, Ari pointed to Anders, “It’s for him.”

“Comm… Ari, you don’t…” he started.

“Yes I do, now eat, that’s an order,” she smiled at him, as he picked up his spoon and began to eat.

“You have to eat it all, otherwise you she makes you go to bed early with no dessert or story.” Eleanor explained, not looking up from her drawing, speaking from experience.

Anders chuckled.  “Noted,” he said, winking at the girl when she looked up.

When Hawke, Fenris and Varric entered Eleanor rushed up from her seat to where Fenris was and excitedly showed him the picture she drew for him.  “I thank you, no one has ever given me a drawing before.” He said, causing Eleanor to beam, very pleased.

“You’re welcome!” she said and threw her arms around his waist in a hug.

“I told you you had a new best friend,” Ari said to Fenris.

Varric peeked over and then nodded to Eleanor, “Nice artwork, Little Crow.  I think you captured Broody’s broodiness very well.” Causing Eleanor to giggle.

*** 

The next afternoon news had reached Ari that a Royal ship from Ferelden was spotted by fisherman about an hour out.  She was playing cards with Anders and Eleanor when the messenger arrived.  Marcus and Ari quickly gathered up their few bags in preparation for when it was time to leave, and proceeded to the Docks.

“You should come, Zevran would want to say hello,” she told Anders who agreed to follow.

Cullen was already there when they arrived, and scooped up Eleanor as soon as she ran to him.  He held her up and pointed out to the twins at the front of the harbor showing her a large ship.  “That’s the one.” 

When the ship finally docked, Eleanor started squirming excitedly in Cullen’s arms as soon as she spotted Zevran making his way down the plank.  The second he put her down she went running up to her father, throwing herself in his arms when he bent down to greet her.

“Papá! Papá!  I’ve been very good while you were gone.  I missed you.  Are we going home now?” she asked into his neck as he carried her to the rest of the group.

“We are going to our new home, Princesa” he explained, “but first we’ll see your Uncle Fergus.  Fiss is waiting with him to see you.” 

He put the girl down, and moved to Ari, pulling her close, and placing his hand on her cheek.  He touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.  “I have missed you, My Warden.” he said softly.

“I missed you too, Zev” she said, putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

“EWWW!” they heard Eleanor say, and the couple broke apart laughing.

Zevran turned to look at his daughter and noticed for the first time that Anders was there with her and Cullen.  “Ahh, I see you found your wayward mage!” he winked to Ari.  “She was quite upset when you disappeared.  You owe me the bottle of brandy she drank because of that.” He laughed, offering a handshake to Anders.

“You don’t touch Mamá’s stuff!” Eleanor explained.

Zevran laughed, “Exactly, Princesa, exactly.  Will you be returning with us?” he asked Anders.

Anders looked at them and started to consider it when Justice spoke up in his head.

**_I will not allow that!  We are needed here to get justice for the mages.  I will not allow you to desert our goals when we are so close.  There is no logic to you going back there.  It’s bad enough you pine for Hawke when she wants the tattooed elf.  Why follow them where you will just pine for another man’s wife._ **

Anders sighed and rubbed his temples with his hand.  He knew Justice was right, nothing was awaiting him in Denerim but heartache and possible capture back into the Circle.  He shook his head, “No, I’m needed here.” 

“Well, my preciosas niñas,” Zevran said to the ladies, “Let’s go have some lunch while they prepare the ship for departure.”

After lunch at the Hanged Man, Ari and Eleanor said their goodbyes to Varric – the others were away on a mission, but he had promised to pass along the word.  They made their way to the ship with Zevran.  Anders and Cullen watched it when it had departed until it was past the twin statues and then returned to the Hanged Man for some drinks.


	45. Arriving in Ferelden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of my awesome artwork featured, lol

Eleanor padded into Fergus’ office with a long face.  “What’s wrong Peanut?” he asked her, picking her up and placing her in his lap.

“I think Mamá and Papá are sick,” she explained, looking at her uncle with a sad face.

“Well, why do you think that?”

“Because they’re making noises like when I have an upset tummy, and Fiss is in the hall instead of their room.” She answered.

Fergus chuckled. “I think they’ll be just fine.  They just missed each other, but maybe you and I should let them have some time alone today, ok.”

Eleanor smiled at her uncle’s reassurance.  “Ok.  Will you play with me Uncle Fergus?”

“I have some things to look over here,” he indicated his desk, “and a few meetings this morning, but how about we go fishing this afternoon.  You can stay in here as long as you can be quiet.”

“I could practice writing.  Mamá is teaching me.  But I don’t know what to write,” she suggested, looking disappointed.

“Well, how about you write some letters and then I’ll send them out for you.” Fergus recommended to her.

Eleanor smiled clearly liking this suggestion.  She took some paper and a piece of writing charcoal from Fergus and went to the floor near the fireplace to write.

She wrote for a few minutes, looking thoughtful about what she was writing and then looked up.  “Uncle Fergus?  How do you spell your name?”

“F-E-R-G-U-S” he told her, smiling as he could see her slowly writing out the letters.

*** 

_ Der Fenris- _

_ How r yu?  I am lerning to rite.  Unkl Fergus sed I shuld rite a leter. _

_ I had fun playing with yu.  I hop yu wil com visit me and play agan one day. _

_ Plez rite bak soon. Unkl Fergus sez yu can rite me at Unkl Kings castl in Denerim. _

_ -Eleanor _

 

_ _

 

***

_ Der Unkl Culin- _

_ I mis yu.  When can yu com visit and rid horses?  When yu visit wily u bring mor dates?  I liked them. _

_ Mama sed we r going to liv with Unkl King now.  Do yu now him?  He is lots of fun and maks silly faces at me and we laff a lot. _

_ I luv yu.  I dru this for yu. _

_ -Eleanor _

 

_ _

***

_ Der Anders- _

_ My Papa sed that I shud thank yu for taking care of me when I was in Mama.  He sed he was far away then and that you were a good healer and mad sur that I was saf until he came bak. _

_ Mama sed that yu had a cat once.  I hop yu get a cat again.  Mama sed yu were very hapy when yu had a cat. _

_ I hop yu r hapy even thoh yu do not hav a cat. _

_ It was very nic to meet yu. _

_ I hop yu rite me bak _

_ -Eleanor _

***

As promised, once his meetings with his advisors and some land holders were done,  Fergus and Eleanor left for a nearby stream to fish.  It was only about a 20 minute horse ride, and Eleanor loved sitting in front of her Uncle and screamed with delight when Fergus got the horse into a fast gallop.

Even though she was not quite five, Fergus had taught her already how to hold the fishing pole, so she didn’t need much help.  She sat next to him on the deck watching the water for a while.

“Uncle Fergus?” she asked him quietly.

“Yes, Peanut?” he asked her.

“Mamá said that you had a little boy but he died.  Did you fish with him?” she looked at him, wondering if he’d be sad when she asked.

“I did.  We used to come right to this deck and fish.” He nodded.

“Do you get sad if I ask about him?” she asked, quieter still.

He shook his head.  “No, Peanut.  I miss your cousin Oren very much, but I like to talk about him, then he’s never really gone. “

“Mamá said we would have been partners in crime.  What’s that mean?” she asked.

“That means you both would have gotten into trouble together and been good friends just like your mother and I were when we were kids.  I agree, I think you would have liked him.” He laughed.

“Thanks for taking me fishing like Oren, Uncle Fergus.” She snuggled up next to him.

“You’re welcome, Peanut,” he said kissing her head.

They sat quietly again for a few more minutes until Eleanor looked up at him and spoke up again.  “Uncle Fergus?”

“Yes?” he asked again.  He’d forgotten how much five year olds liked to talk.  Oren had been the same way, with a million questions all the time, mostly about swords.

“Papá doesn’t have a Papá.  Maybe you could be his Papá and then you won’t be sad” she said very decisively.

Fergus chuckled at that.  “That is very thoughtful of you.  You are very generous.”

“Will you come visit me in our new home?” she asked looking up at him.

“Of course, Peanut.”  He nodded.  “In fact I will get to see you more now, since I have business in Denerim often and you won’t be so far away anymore.”

*** 

They arrived in Denerim two weeks later.  The King was waiting for them as their carriage pulled into the front courtyard.  The door to the carriage burst open and Eleanor came busting out, Fiss on her heels.  Her parents were a little slower to get out, stretching as they did from a long day’s ride.  Ari laughed as she saw Eleanor being tossed in the air by Alistair while Fiss bounced around barking next to the King.

“Hi Uncle King!” she cried out once he stopped tossing her and pulled her into his arms.  “You have a beard!”

“I do?” he asked putting his hand on his chin.  “How’d that get there?”

Eleanor laughed at him.  “ _ Uncle King _ ” she sighed at him.  “Did you miss me?  We’re going to live with you now!”

“Yes, I know.” Alistair nodded. “Of course I missed you.  You even have some letters here waiting for you.”

Eleanor’s eyes got big.  “I do?” she asked to which Alistair nodded and then put the girl down, pulling Ari and then Zevran into hugs.

“I am glad to see you all made it here safely.  Come, let’s get inside, dinner is ready and we can talk.” He told them.

*** 

_ Eleanor- _

_ I was very surprised and happy to get your letter.  No one has ever sent me a letter before, so you are the very first. _

_ It was very nice to meet you when you were here.  Perhaps someday I will travel to Denerim.  I think I would like that.  For right now, I need to stay here, for my safety.  But someday maybe I will be free and can come visit you. _

_ Your writing was very good.  Keep practicing and you’ll be reading in no time. _

_ I enjoyed your drawing, and I hope you write again. _

_ -Fenris _

_ ***  _

_ Eleanor- _

_ I don’t know when I can come to Denerim, but as soon as I am able I will and we can go riding on your pony.  Maybe we can even find someplace there that has dates.   _

_ Yes, I met King Alistair many years ago.  It was during the Blight, when I first met your mother and father.  I have not seen him since your parents’ wedding, though, so he may not remember me. _

_ It is very busy here.  We get new mages at the Circle and it gives me lots to do.  I love your drawings, they make my office and my room much brighter and happier.  I had fun when you visited and I hope it’s not too long before I see you again. _

_ Give your parents a big hug from me. _

_ I love you too _

_ -Uncle Cullen _

*** 

_ Dear Eleanor – _

_ It was really nice to meet you also.  You are very welcome for everything.  Your mother was a good Commander and I was happy to help her and you.  I had always wondered what you looked like, so it was really great to finally see you.  You are pretty, just like your mother and nice just like her too. _

_ Yes, I used to have a cat.  Maybe someday I’ll have one again. _

_ Yes, I am happy, I have friends here and I am able to help sick people that can’t always get help because they don’t have money. _

_ Enjoy your new home in Denerim.  Say hi to your mother for me.  She was always very kind to me even when others were not.  Remember to always be nice to people and you will be thought of as a good person.  Maybe someday we’ll meet again. _

_ -Anders _


	46. A Murder of Crows

The next year and a half blew by.  Nate had visited during that time, as had Fergus a few times.  Eleanor and Alistair grew closer because of her being in Denerim Castle.  She’d also started learning how to use real daggers from her father.  He and Ari had decided that it would be better for her to learn to defend herself if ever needed.  They also started including her in any discussions they had about the Crows.  Much as Ari wanted Eleanor to remain just a little girl, the events in Antiva made her realize they would be doing her more harm than good by not giving her some sense of the danger, even if she was surrounded by adults that would protect her.  At the moment she was standing next to Alistair while he was looking at a map in his office with Ari and Zevran.

“According to what your men have told me, they are here now,” Zevran pointed to a small town about 100 miles outside of Kirkwall. “They’ve been telling different stories in the town, trying to root us out.  If I could draw them to just outside of Kirkwall, to here,” he pointed to Sundermount, “I would be able to take them out without risk to civilians in Kirkwall.  It will also help keep them believing that we are somewhere in the Free Marches.”

Ari nodded.  Much as she hated to have Zevran leave again, she knew this was a good plan.  “Well, Princesa, you have a choice.  You can either go with me to Vigils Keep when I’m making my inspection, or stay here at the castle while your father is away.”

“I’ll go with you,” she answered, and Ari nodded.

“How long do you think you’ll be gone?” she asked Zevran.

He looked down at the map.  “Two weeks there, two weeks back and probably take at least a few weeks to flush them out.  So probably two months.” He didn’t look up.  He knew if he did he’d see the tears in Ari’s eyes and not be able to leave.  Instead he just reached his hand across the table and took hers in his and squeezed.

“So you’ll be back in time for my seventh birthday, Papá?” she asked.

“Absolutely, Princesa” he nodded to her.  “Maybe I’ll even find you a gift while I’m there.” He said with a wink.

At that moment Eamon and Teagan entered ready for a meeting with the King.  Eleanor ran up to Teagan to say hi.  Unlike Eamon, Teagan always had a smile and a funny joke for the girl, and she had taken to him quickly.  Ari secretly wondered how much better Alistair’s young life would have been if it had been Teagan instead of Eamon that raised him.  But, she reminded herself, then he may not have become a Warden, and she may have never even met him.

“We’ll make final preparations later tonight,” Alistair nodded at them as the family left.

When they got to the residence quarters Ari spoke to Marcus while Zevran took Eleanor to her room to speak with her about the mission.  “Marcus, we leave in two days for Vigils Keep.  Please help Eleanor prepare for the trip.”

He nodded and left to do as she asked while she went to her room and waited for Zevran.

When he entered he found her facing the fire, with a drink in her hand.  As soon as he crossed the room she turned and put her head on his chest and let out a small cry.  Zevran’s arms came around her and held her tight.

“Mi amor, it will be ok.  You will see, you will be so busy at the Keep the time will fly by, and then I will be back.”, he ran one hand down her head while he held her.

“I know Zev, I’m just so tired.  So tired of always looking over our shoulders, of worrying about if Eleanor is safe, if we’re safe, just because that blasted woman couldn’t take no for an answer.” She clung to his back.

He had no words he could give her to make her feel better, because his heart was also breaking at having to leave his family again.  So, instead he took the glass of wine from her hand, and put it on the table, then bent down and picked Ari up bridal style to their bed.  He spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening showing her just how much he loved her, how much she was treasured.

***

Hawke strolled through Hightown with Fenris, Anders and Isabela.  As they were nearing the Blooming Rose, a man approached them.

“Ah, the Champion of Kirkwall.  Your reputation precedes you.” The man said with a thick Antivan accent, bowing his head to Hawke.  “Forgive me, I should introduce myself properly.  My name is Nuncio Caldera Lanos.  I am a noble from the beautiful country of Antiva.”

“It must have taken a lot of practice to say all that in one breath,” Hawke replied.

“It’s mostly to impress the ladies, I assure you.” He said, earning him a growl from Fenris.  “I’ve come to ask for your help, Champion.  Hiding among the Dalish is an elven assassin I have been chasing for months.  He’s a master manipulator who will endanger even his own kind to ensure his survival.”

“You don’t seem the type to hunt assassins.  Why are you after him?” Hawke asked.

“At first it was merely duty to Antiva, but after losing so many good men, it became personal.  He’s nothing but a murderer, a thief and a liar.” The Antivan explained.  “I’ve heard of your dealings with the Dalish.  I was hoping your men could go where mine cannot.  Find out where the assassin is hiding and apprehend him.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Hawke agreed.

“We won’t be here when you get back, we’ve got a camp set outside the city.” The other man spoke, having been silent up until now. “Look for us there”

When they arrived at the Dalish camp, they were told exactly where to find the assassin.  That in fact it had been the man’s instruction for them to do so.

“I thought the point of hiding was not to be found?” Hawke said to Isabela, who shrugged.

They trudged their way through the caves, battling spiders along the way.

“Why is it always spiders?” Hawke whined, brushing off guts from her armor.  Fenris chuckled and squeezed her hand assuredly.  She smiled at him and tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach.  They had only been back together a few weeks, every little sign of affection from him was new and exciting.

A blonde elf stepped out from a hallway, “Now you I wasn’t expecting,” he said.

“I thought I smelled Antivan leather,” Isabela laughed.

“Isabela!” he replied.  “If it isn’t my favorite pirate wench!”

Anders laughed.  “I should have known if there was trouble with Antivans you’d be at the center of it.”

“Anders, good to see you my friend!” the elf bowed to him.

“Seriously, another person you all know?” Hawke spoke up, looking at Fenris who shrugged.

The blonde elf looked at the other two, his eyes landing upon Fenris, who stiffened at the attention, hand moving towards his blade.

“Might I ask, you would be Fenris, si?” The elf asked.

Fenris changed to a defensive stance. “Who’s asking?” he growled.

“Down boy, he’s a friend,” Isabela smiled at him.

“No harm meant my friend.” The Antivan held his hands up.  “There are drawings of you all over my daughter’s room and you are a requirement in bedtime stories.  Looking at you I can see why she’s infatuated.”  He chuckled.

Fenris raised an eyebrow, but moved to a more normal stance.

“Allow me to introduce myself,” he bowed again, “Zevran Arainai.  I believe you know my beloved Eleanor.”

Fenris completely relaxed at the introduction. “It is a pleasure.” He nodded to Zevran.

“So wait, you’re who we’re supposed to be hunting?  I find it hard to believe Ari is married to an assassin, murder and a thief.” Hawke said.

“Lady Hawke I presume?” Zevran asked, taking her hand and kissing the back, eliciting another growl from Fenris.  “Well they had the assassin part correctly.  Let me guess, a man named Nuncio asked you to track me,  to capture a dangerous killer, yes?”

“Yes,” Hawke replied.  “I’m starting to suspect we were on the wrong side of this.”

“What did he tell you?” he asked starting to pace. “That I killed his wife? Butchered his family?  Did he claim to be a lawman tracking me perhaps?”

“Something like that,” Hawke answered.

“Of course.  He probably would not get your help by telling you he is tracking a woman and child.” Zevran replied.  “I am here to draw him out, and … eliminate his party.  And in the process, hopefully throw the Crows off the trail of where my family is now.”

“We’ll help of course,” Anders jumped in. “Won’t we, Hawke?”

“Of course, Anders” she nodded.  “I happen to know where they are, let’s go end this. I don’t like being played for a fool.”

***

Hawke stalked up to the camp angry.  “You didn’t tell me that it was actually you hunting a man protecting his family.”

“Ah, so Zevran spoke to you?” Nuncio answered. “It really doesn’t matter, his Warden isn’t here to protect him.  We take care of him, and then deal with the others.”

“Maybe not his Warden, but there is a Warden here to protect him,” Anders snarled, calling up a lighting storm.  At the same time the two Crows next to Nuncio fell, both by a thrown dagger.  One from Isabela, one from Zevran.

Fenris and Hawke fought one of the remaining two Crows, while Zevran stalked Nuncio.  They sparred, until Zevran knocked him down.  Leering over him with a knife along his throat, Zevran gave him a look that was cold.  “You should have stayed away from my family, Nuncio.” He sliced the man’s throat walking away as he bled out.


	47. Angry at Vegetables

The same time Zevran was on his way to Kirkwall, Ari, Eleanor and Marcus were on their way to Vigils Keep.  When they arrived all the Grey Wardens were called to attention.  Nathaniel and the others saluting as Ari entered.  Evelyn’s eyes got wide, she’d never seen her mother in this role before.  Seeing all the Wardens regarding her with as much respect as she had seen the Templars give Cullen filled her with awe.

After Nathaniel dismissed the troops, his stance relaxed and he smiled to Ari, and then reached out his hand to Eleanor who rushed up to grab it.  “Are these all Mamá’s soldiers?” she asked him with amazement.

“In a way,” Nathaniel chuckled.  “She’s our Commander, although I run everything here day to day.”

“Wow.” Eleanor whispered.  “Do you live here?” she looked around the great hall.

“Yes,” Nathaniel answered.  “This used to be my family’s home.  I grew up here too.  Your mother and Uncle Fergus used to play with me here when I was your age.” He smiled down to her.

Eleanor looked around at everything in awe as Nathaniel walked them to the room they’d be staying in during their visit.

*** 

“Mamá, Uncle Nate said you used to come here where you were little.” Eleanor asked while sitting on the bed in their room as Ari unpacked.

“That’s right, I did.  I think this used to be his sister’s room.” Ari nodded as she hung one of Eleanor’s dresses.

“Were there a lot of Wardens here too?” The girl asked.

Ari chuckled.  “No, honey.  Then it was just a home, sort of like where Uncle Fergus lives.”  

There was a knock on the door and Eleanor scrambled off the bed to answer it.  She stopped with her hand on the knob and turned to her mother, suddenly remembering the rules about not answering without permission.  “It’s ok.  But remember, manners.”  Ari told the girl.

“Hi,” the girl said answering the door.

Ari heard a familiar voice at the door.  “Well don’t you look just like your father!”  She rushed to the door and smiled when she saw Sigrun and Oghren there.

“Hello, Commander,” Sigrun smiled.

“Sigrun, oh it’s wonderful to see you, and you too, Oghren.  Eleanor, this is Sigrun.  And do you remember Oghren?” The girl nodded and gave Oghren a hug that he was clearly not ready or comfortable with.  Sigrun laughed at his distress.

“Do you live here too?” Eleanor asked excited.

“We do,” Sigrun nodded.  “We served under your mother when she was here.”

Eleanor grinned.  It was exciting for her meeting these new people and hearing about her mother doing things with the Wardens.  While Ari finished unpacking, Sigrun told the girl some stories about their adventures.

***

“We are hearing rumors of an ancient Darkspawn in the Free Marches.  Apparently he is in some Warden prison.  We’re just getting smatterings of information though, very little to go on.” Nathaniel explained.

He was standing around a table, along with his second in Command, a dwarf named Darma.  Ari stood opposite Nathaniel looking at the map.

“Have we received word from any of the Wardens along here?” Ari motioned to two keeps.

“None,” Nathaniel shook his head.  “My recommendation is we send a small battalion up that way, see if our Brothers and Sisters are in need of aid.”

Ari  nodded.  “Darma, I’d like you to hand pick who to send.  Since we’ve received no word from the Keeps, we need to assume there is something very wrong going on there.  We’ll need men and women with combat experience.”

Darma nodded, saluted and then left.

Once the door shut behind her, Nathaniel turned around to Eleanor who had been sitting quietly in the corner drawing.  “Now that all that boring Warden business is done, what do you say we go to Amaranthine and have some dinner?”

“YES!” Eleanor cried out, jumping up and taking his hand as they headed out.

***

Zevran’s trip to Kirkwall had taken nearly a month longer than expected.  He returned to the castle hoping that Ari wasn’t too pissed at him for the delay, and hoping that if she was, the gifts he had brought back would appease her temper.  He walked into the common room in the residence hall and found Eleanor at a table coloring and telling Teagan a story about her, Fenris and Biff fighting an ogre in the woods.  He leaned against the door jamb for a minute, placing his bags quietly down and watched her with fascination.  Even though she wasn’t looking up from her drawing, her arms would move around as she’d describe the fight with the ogre.  Teagan noticed Zevran standing there and just nodded but said nothing.  

“Then Fenris swings his sword and hits the head off the ogre!” she shouted out, swinging one arm.

“Why am I never the star of your tales?” Zevran asked from the door with a smile.

“Papá!!!” Eleanor cried, dropping her drawing immediately and running to where he stood.  He bent down and gave her a large hug.  Then stood back up looking at her.  She looked like she had grown since he saw her last, definitely too big to pick up anymore.

“You have grown, Princesa”, he said, running his hand over her cheek.  She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged.

“I missed you Papá.  You were gone so long.” She said, head still pressed to his stomach while he ran a hand over her hair.

“I missed you too, my darling girl.  I brought you back a present, for later.  I have something from Uncle Cullen for you as well.” Eleanor’s mouth got wide with excitement over that.  “Where is Ari?” he asked Teagan.

“Oh, I think Eleanor tells it better than me,” he laughed.

Zevran looked down to the girl still attached to his hips.  “Where is your mother?” he asked

“Uncle King took her away because she was angry with vegetables.” She answered, causing Teagan to stifle a laugh from across the room.

“She was angry with vegetables?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.  “I think you need to tell me more.”

“Well, at lunch today she said Commander Riley had a stick up her….” She looked up and whispered “ass”.  She waited to see if she was in trouble before continuing.  “Then Messere Eamon said that he would have thought Mamá was raised with better manners.”

“I am guessing she did not like that did she?” he asked her, leaning against the door frame again.

“She gave him that look she gives you when you are home late.” She answered, causing Zevran to chuckle.  “Then she told him he was an old man over reaching his post.  Then Uncle King took her arm and pulled her from the table and said they were going out before she declared war on Orlais.  And Mamá tried to pull her arm away and called Messere Eamon a word that Uncle King told me not to repeat.  Then Uncle King said they were going to fight because she was ce-la-ree frustrated.”

Teagan didn’t cover his laugh this time earning him a glare from Eleanor.  She then looked up to her father that had his hand over his mouth to hide his smile.  “What’s so funny and what does that mean, celery frustrated?” she asked him with annoyed.  “I asked Messere Teagan, and he said I had to wait and ask Mamá.”

Zevran rubbed his hand along Eleanor’s head, “It means she missed me… a lot.” He smiled at her and then looked up at Teagan.  “So, sparring ring then?”

Teagan nodded and beckoned Eleanor over to keep him company.

*** 

The King was holding a practice sword in one arm, a shield in the other.  His shirt had been removed after the first hour, and Ari still had not tired.  Even though she had practice daggers, his arm still stung from the hits she had made on the shield multiple times.

Marcus was leaning along the fence that lined the ring watching them. Ari was covered in sweat and dirt.  She once again ran at Alistair, bouncing off his shield and landing in the dirt again.  Alistair looked up and saw Zevran hopping over the fence.  Ari did not see him, but did see Alistair start to lower his shield and made a move for him.  He saw her coming just in time, blocking her.

“Ow, stop stop.  Ari stop, look” Alistair cried out, trying to point behind her with his sword.

Ari took a few deep breaths and then turned around.  The minute she saw Zevran she threw down the weapons and ran at him, leaping up to wrap her legs around his waist when she was close enough.  Zevran put his arms around her to support her and stepped back towards the fence to keep from falling over as they kissed.

“Let’s go Marcus.  I’ve been around when they start doing this, you don’t want to see what happens next.” The King laughed, picking up his shirt and leading the other man back to the castle.

Zevran lowered Ari’s legs to the ground, and broke the kiss, leaning his forehead on her.  She smacked his arm.  Hard.  He opened his eyes and he suddenly wished he had thought to bring her gifts out with him.

“Three months Zev!” she growled.  “You said two, you were gone three!”

“My Warden, I am sorry.  The assassins did not seem to care what my timeframe was.  But they are disposed of, and I am back.  I am sorry, mi amor.” He started peppering her cheeks and chin with kisses.  “Please say you forgive me”

“Mmm.” She hummed at him with a look in her eyes.  “I think you need to work harder to gain forgiveness.” 

“That, I can do, bonita,” he purred at her, pulling her back along his body and kissing her possessively.  “But bath first.” He made a face at her.  “You stink of King sweat”

She swatted at him, playfully this time, and took his hand as he lead them back to the castle.

*** 

The family took dinner together in Ari and Zevran’s room.  Eleanor was on the floor playing with the carved horses her father had brought back for her.  Ari was sitting on Zevran’s lap on a chair in front of the fire while he occasionally placed kisses along her neck, chin and cheeks.  Her hair was tied up with a blue scarf he had gotten her from Kirkwall.

“I met your friend.” He said to Eleanor.

“Who?” she asked looking up while Biff and the horse were galloping around.

“Some elf, white hair, oh what was his name?” he snapped his fingers teasing her.

“Fenris!!” she called out.  “You saw Fenris?”

Zevran chuckled, “Yes.  He is quite, oh what was the word the dwarf used, ah yes, Broody.  But he did seem to remember you fondly.” 

“I wish I was there.  Did you say you had something from Uncle Cullen?” Eleanor asked.

“I did.” He nodded, standing up and letting Ari take his chair.  He went to his bag and pulled out a small box.  “Since you ate all your dinner I think it is ok for this now.”

She opened it up and found it contained candied dates.  She offered one to her parents, and then sat down to eat her treat.  “Only three, ok” Ari told her.  “The rest you save for tomorrow.”

“Ok Mamá,” she nodded.  “Papá, there’s a fair next week.  Can we go?  Uncle King will be there, he’s judging an archery contest.  And there will be jugglers and animals, can we?”

Zevran looked at Ari who nodded, “It appears that we are going.” Eleanor jumped up and down and threw her arms around him.

“Now, off to bed” he told her.

“You just want to kiss Mamá some more.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“You are very right, Princesa” he laughed, walking her to her room.

*** 

The fair was more fun than Eleanor could remember having.  The jugglers were amazing, and she got to sit up with the King while he judged the archery contest.  There was lots of good food, and her parents indulged her just a bit, probably feeling a little guilty at how long Zevran had been gone.

They strolled back to the castle.  Eleanor talking the whole way while walking between her parents.  She was holding both of their hands, happy to have them back again.  She was talking about the wild creatures she had seen and how she was going to draw them when they got home.  

A slight noise occurred to the left of them and Zevran and Ari exchanged a look.  A chill ran down Ari’s spine as if they were being watched.  They continued to walk back, picking up the pace a little.

When they turned a corner, two men were standing along the road, blocking their way forward.  Another two came up behind them.  Zevran and Ari quickly moved into formation, Ari turning Eleanor so that she was between their backs.  She pulled her daggers out, each of them facing two men.

“This does not have to end for you the way it did for Nuncio,” Zevran growled at them.  “You can move on now, and you will all be able to sleep in your own beds tonight.”

“We did not come all this way, Zevran, to leave empty handed.  Nuncio misjudged you, we will not.” One of the men spoke in a thick Antivan accent.

The Crows started to advance, Ari and Zevran both fending them off. One leaned to the left, giving Ari the opportunity to stab, puncturing his lung and causing him to collapse.  That left only three left. 

Eleanor held onto Zevran’s back hips.  While it made his movements not as fluid, it ensured that she was always behind him.  The youngest of the Crows lunged at him.  Zevran was able to step to the side so that the Crow’s blade struck his bicep instead of the chest.  Zevran raised his blade enough so that when the Crow came slightly forward, it caught him in the gut.  Ari heard Zevran hiss as the blade hit his arm, but was unable to turn as she was blocking the red haired Crow that was trying to catch Zevran off guard on his side.  She saw the young Crow crumble.  Two left.

“The boss said to get the girl, I’ll deal with these two, you get the girl.” The first Crow said to the blonde one. “Boss said you need to learn there’s a price to pay for leaving the Crows.” He snarled at Zevran.

Zevran and Ari continued to circle, keeping Eleanor between them.  Three more Crows dropped from above.  Now there was Five to fight.

“Ari,” Zevran growled.  “You need to get her to the castle, it is close.”

“No, Zev,” she shook her head even though he was to her back and she knew he couldn’t see her.  “We go together.”

“Arianna, listen to me for once, blighted woman,” he snarled, keeping his blades moving.  “I will come, but you need to get her out of here.  If they get her, they will either torture her, or make her one of them.  That will not happen.   Now, GO!” he yelled.

Ari wanted to protest, but she knew he spoke the truth.  She grabbed Eleanor as if she was a sack and ran.  The whole time tears running down her cheeks as she could hear Eleanor crying out for her Papá.

*** 

When they made it back to the Castle, Ari handed Eleanor off to Marcus.  “Eleanor, I need you to be brave now, ok?” She told her.  The girl nodded and Ari ordered Marcus to take her to the room and not to come out until either she, Zevran or the King said it was safe.  

She explained the Guard-Captain what was happening, and he sent a runner to the fair to alert the Guard-Commander Rylock.  She then told him she was going up to the battlements to watch for Zevran’s arrival.

She stood up there, facing out in the direction he would need to come from.  The guards knew her well, but they also knew enough from her body language not to bother her as she stood watching.

At some point, one of the female guards approached and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, but said nothing.  Ari had been standing there well over an hour at that point.  Light started to fade from the sky, but still she stood there watching.

Finally she let out a breath, after many hours, when she heard the door to the battlement open.  She could hear his footsteps approaching slowly.  She turned to see Zevran, only to find the King standing behind her. He was holding something in his hand, but in the growing darkness, she couldn't make out what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sigh...  
> Kleenex ready
> 
> So, sometimes things don't translate well from my head to paper (trust me, you don't want to be in my head, it's scary!)  
> Anyway, what Eleanor heard as celery was actually the King saying sexually.  
> Hence Ce-le-ry frustrated is Sexually Frustrated.  
> Now you can all say Ahhh, and laugh. 
> 
> You did laugh, right? Good, because you'll need it for the next chapter.


	48. Please Come to Denerim

Ari turned around, expecting to see Zevran and planning to yell at him for how scared she’d been.  Instead, Alistair was there.  She did not like the look on his face.  “Ari.” he spoke softly.

“Where is he, Ali?” she asked, trying hard to keep her voice calm.

He shook his head, “Ari, we found him.  He…”

“Take me to him, is he in the infirmary?” She asked trying to move by him, but he stopped her, grabbing her arm gently with his free hand.

“Ari, stop, listen to me.” He shook his head, his voice still agonizingly quiet.  “We found him, he didn’t…”

“Don’t you dare, Ali.” She glared at him not liking the look of pity on his face.  Her stomach clenched.  “Don’t say it.  He’s fine.  He always comes back to me, always.”

“Ari,” Alistair choked back a sob, holding out his other hand so she could see what was in it.

Her hands started to shake as she reached out to his open hands.  In them were his gloves.  The same gloves she had given him all those years ago.  His first gift, he had told her.  The same gloves he always carried with him, no matter how hot it was, they were always around his belt.

“This isn’t funny, Alistair.” She said, tears starting to fall. “Stop it….”

“Ari, I’m so sorry sweetheart,” the King said, tears in his eyes.  He reached out for her.

“NO!” she yelled at him, stepping out of his grasp. “This isn’t true.  You’re mistaken.  Whoever told you this is lying.”

“Ari, I saw for myself…”

“NO!” she shoved him back. She wanted him to stop talking, to just stop the words he was saying, to just make him stop talking. “I don’t know why you’re saying these things.  Why are you being so cruel?  NO!”  She ran past him, and though the door he had come out of.

***

Cullen sat in his office going over reports and finding items that he thought maybe Hawke could help with.  There was a rapid knock on the door.  “Come in,” he ordered without looking up.

He heard the door open but whoever entered hadn’t yet spoken.  He looked up to see a young recruit looking nervous.  “Ser, these arrived via crow for you.  They have the Royal seal.”

Cullen reached his hands out taking the paper that did in fact have the King of Ferelden’s seal.  He dismissed the recruit and opened the letters.

_ Cullen- _

_ He’s gone.  They came f.. us and he’s gone.  What am I su…sed to do now.  How do I keep living? _

_ They kill..d him. Like he was no..ing but  a ..og in the street.  That bitch did this.  I need to find her and cut her throat out.  How can this be true?  Cullen …. _

Cullen tried to read the smudged note as best as he could.  Water marks, tears he assumed, smudged most of it.  She hadn’t signed it, but after nearly 8 years, he knew Ari’s handwriting enough to know it was from her.  He picked up the other note that had accompanied it, his hand shaking.   He couldn’t understand what she was telling him, but he knew it wasn’t good.  

_ Cullen- _

_ Please come to Denerim right away.  Ari won’t eat or sleep.  We’ve had to use sleep spells to force her to.  If you could not make out her letter, there is no easy way to say this. Zevran is gone.  The Crows attacked them and he did not survive.  I’m not sure right now if Ari will either.  She won’t speak to me or Fergus or see me.  Zevran is not here for her to be angry with, so she is punishing me instead.  I  can take it, but she needs someone to help her.  Please come immediately. _

_ I have taken the liberty of already sending a note to your Knight Commander along with a Royal subject to explain that your King needs your attention for your country. _

_ -King Alistair Therin _

Cullen dropped the letters and held his head in his hand, crying for his lost friend.

The next morning he was called into Meredith’s office.  When he entered there was already someone in there.  Cullen looked to the man, the Royal escort, in front of him, and Knight-Commander Meredith beside him.  She had been so erratic as of late, he wasn’t sure what she was about to say.  Would he have to sneak away to get there?

“Normally I would deny any leave right now, with the state of things,” the Knight-Commander said, giving no indication on how she’d land.  “But, given that this request came straight from His Royal Highness, and that we don’t need to be ignoring requests from Regents when we can provide aid, I will allow it.”

Cullen nodded and rushed to his quarters before she could change her mind, quickly throwing together a bag, and then letting the Royal escort guide him to a waiting ship, to set sail for Denerim.

*** 

Cullen entered the darkened room that the King’s maid had shown him to.  He could make out a man sitting on the edge of the bed, and another figure lying on the bed, Ari he assumed.  She appeared to be asleep.

The man looked up when he heard the door open, and slowly left the bed, walking towards him.  He held out his hand when he approached.  “Cullen?” he spoke quietly, so as not to wake her.  Cullen nodded.  “Nathaniel Howe.” He shook Cullen’s hand.

“How is she?” Cullen asked.

“Not good.  I had to beg her just to have some bread today.  Her brother’s not had much more luck.  We’re hoping you will.” He looked back to Ari.  “She won’t even see the King still.”

“Why not?” Cullen asked.

“He was the one to tell her.  I think she blames him somehow.  She’ll come around to him, she just needs somewhere to direct the pain right now,” Nathaniel said.

“Where’s Eleanor?” Cullen asked.  “Is she ok?”

Nathaniel sighed.  “She’s with Ari’s brother.  I don’t know how much she really understands about what’s going on.  She is upset that her mother is like this, but I don’t think she understands about Zevran.”

Ari stirred on the bed.

“I’ll give you some time.  Thank you for coming, I pray to the Maker you can help,” Nathaniel said, clapping Cullen on the shoulder as he left the room.

Cullen crept to the bed and sat where Nathaniel had been.  He took her hands in his and looked at her.  She looked so tiny, almost like a child.  There were dark circles under her eyes, ones he had seen in the mirror enough to know they were from lack of sleep.  Her eyes looked puffy, most likely from crying.  Just looking at her like this broke his heart in two.  He took a deep breath.  He had no idea what he’d say to her, or how to help.  He prayed to the Maker to help him help the same woman that had pulled him out of the depths so many years ago.

Her eyelids fluttered open and she squeezed his hand first and then looked at him.  “Cullen,” she whispered, her voice sounding hoarse.  “You came.”

She sat up quickly, and threw her arms around his chest.  He moved to a more comfortable position and pulled her in, wrapping her in his arms.  Holding her, she seemed even smaller along his large warrior frame.  He could feel her starting to cry, he ran his hand up and down her back, leaning his head down to kiss the top of her head, and began to rock her softly.  He remembered his mother used to do this for him as a boy and how it always made him feel safe.  He was hoping he was doing the same for her.

After nearly a half hour he finally spoke as  he looked down at her, “Do you think you can try eating something small?” he asked.

She didn’t answer, just buried her head in his chest.

“Ari,” he said, pulling her chin up to look at him.  “You need to eat something.  Eleanor needs you.  I know you’re hurting, but you need to eat something for her, ok?”

She nodded and he held up the bowl of soup the maid had brought in while Ari had been crying.  Her hands were still shaking so he helped her one spoonful at a time.

After she had eaten, he could tell she was getting tired.  Most likely from the fact that her body had real food in it for the first time in nearly a week.  He helped her lie back down and pulled the covers over and then stood up, intending to move to a chair and let her sleep.

“Please don’t go,” she said hoarsely, as she grabbed his hand pulling him back down.

“Ok,” he nodded.  He removed his jacket, placing it on the ground, and bent down to take off his boots, placing them both near the chair.

“Move over” he told her, then lied down on top of the covers, behind her with an arm around her.  He kissed the back of her head and felt her squeeze his arm in an embrace.  After about 10 minutes Cullen could feel her breath even out as she fell back asleep.  He quickly followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniffle*


	49. Emptiness

It had been a particularly hot day, and despite the Blight, they all decided to take a break and swim.  Ari could hear the laughter of her companions not far away as they splashed in the water nearby.  She and Zevran had found a secluded part of the lake, away from the eyes of the others.

He held her close, kissing slowly.  The passion and excitement of a new relationship between them.  Ari’s arms were around his shoulders, her hand in his hair.

Zevran pulled back only slightly.  “You are so beautiful, my Ari.” he told her and then resumed kissing her lips as his hands ran along her back.

Fiss barked once and Ari jumped in response.  They both laughed at her.  Ari turned to swim near where there was a ledge to sit on.  When she turned around she was alone.  “Zev?”  She cried out.  “Zev?  Where are you?  Zev, this isn’t funny.”  She realized the sounds from her companions had also stopped.

“Zev.  Zev where are you?” She started to feel panicked.  

She was standing in the woods now.  She could hear one of the men turned werewolves growling, but she couldn’t see it.  A snap of a branch.  She whirled around to see the wolf mid jump at her.

She shot up, a scream caught in her throat.  Strong arms wrapped around her.

“It’s ok.  It’s ok,” she could hear Cullen say to her as she rested on his chest.  But she knew he was lying.  It wasn’t ok.  It would never be ok again.  He was gone, why, how could he be gone.  Just like Da, and Mama, and Orana and Oren.  Why, why did the Maker hate her? Why did he keep taking away everyone she loved?  She cried, tears for her long dead family.  Tears for her love torn from her.  Tears for her daughter losing him.  It wasn’t ok. 

***

Leliana entered to help Ari get bathed and dressed.  Ari looked to Cullen as if afraid of him leaving.

“I’ll be right in the hall,” he assured her.

Leliana helped Ari into the tub and started to wash her hair while Ari picked up the cloth and began to clean herself.  When they were done Leliana helped her dry off and get dressed.  Ari picked a green dress that she knew Zevran loved her in. 

“How do you want your hair?” Leliana asked her as she brushed it.

“Can you put it in an Orlesian braid?  He always liked it when you did that to my hair.” She sighed.

“Of course honey.” She touched Ari’s shoulder and began dividing up the hair.

Cullen entered, now wearing his formal uniform, the same he had worn to her wedding.  Ari felt a small smile come to her lips when she heard Leliana sigh as she saw him, and immediately covered her mouth.  It didn’t feel right to smile, she thought.

Once Leliana finished her hair and left, Cullen held out his hand to her and helped her up.  They walked through the castle, slowly walking across the yard to the chapel.  Shortly before getting there Ari stopped.  Cullen turned and looked at her.

“I… I can’t…. do this,” she said, starting to hyperventilate.

Cullen pressed his forehead to hers and took her hands in one of his, pressing them to his chest. He held onto her arm with his other.  “Close your eyes” he instructed her.  “and just concentrate on my breathing.”  He  breathed slowly in and out, and after a few minutes her breathing started to slow, until it matched his.  After she was breathing normal again he opened his eyes and tilted his head up to kiss her forehead.

“Ok?” he asked and she nodded.  “I’ll be right there, if you need help just reach out, ok?”

Ari took a deep breath and straightened back up.  “Thank you, Cullen.”

“Anytime,” he smirked at her, and held out his arm again for her.

When they entered the chapel, Ari felt like suddenly all eyes were on her.  She wanted all of those people to just go away.  She didn’t want them here to see her grief.  She wanted everyone to just go and for Zevran to come back like he promised and this to all be a horrible dream.   Ari’s hand on Cullen’s arm tightened as she felt the room feel too small, and he reached over and patted it with his other hand.

They sat down, Ari next to Fergus.  Eleanor immediately climbed over her uncle and into Ari’s lap, throwing her arms around her neck.  “You look pretty Mamá.” She said into her ear.  Ari pulled the girl into a tight hug.

“I love you, Princesa” she kissed the girl on her cheek.  “I’m sorry I’ve been so sad.  But I love you very much.”

The girl took Ari’s face in her hands and kissed her nose, her cheeks, and her forehead.  “Those are from Papá.  Uncle Fergus said he’s not coming back.  But I saw him in my dreams and he loves us.”

Ari’s eyes swelled with tears again.  She wanted to scream, why couldn’t he come to her in her dreams?  Why did he break his promise?  Why?  She took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on nothing but the girl in her arms.

“Yes he does, honey.” She settled the girl in her lap and held her tight.  She leaned against Cullen and closed her eyes saying a silent prayer to Andraste to look over them.  

The Grand Cleric began to speak.  Ari could hear her talking, but wasn’t able to concentrate on what was being said.  She could feel Fergus take her hand and squeeze at some point.   Eleanor became fidgety during the ceremony, and Ari remembered putting the girl on the ground and she watched her go to the other side of the aisle and climb into the King’s lap saying something to him.  The whole time was just a blur to her, she wanted to be anywhere but here.  Even back on the tower facing the Archdemon would be preferable to sitting on this bench feeling an ache where her heart was supposed to be.  She knew it was gone though, because she no longer had a use for it without him.  

She realized it was done when everyone started to rise.  Fergus said something to her, but she wasn’t sure what.  She hugged him, but she couldn’t look at him.  She knew he knew her pain, having lost Orana, but she couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes and see her pain reflected back.

Cullen walked her back to the castle.  She told him she couldn’t take going to the pyre.   The rest of the afternoon was filled with people filing in to pay their respects to her.  Ari called up her years of training as the Teyrn’s daughter to get through it.

*** 

Ari sat in her room as the light of the day was all but gone.  Cullen entered with a plate of food.  He put the sandwich on the table next to her and knelt down in front of her and took her hand.

“Eat for me, sweetheart, ok?” he asked softly and she nodded.  He watched as she took a few bites.  Satisfied that she was eating he stood up.  “I promised Eleanor I’d tell her a story.  I’ll be back when she’s in bed.” Ari nodded.

“How long can you stay?” she asked him.

“Just a few more days,  Kirkwall’s a mess, I need to get back.  I’m lucky that my Commander let me come at all.” Cullen kissed the top of her head and left the room quietly.

After he left, Ari put down her sandwich.  She pulled out a shirt from the dresser and smelled it.  Leather and spices.  She put the shirt on and crawled onto the bed and pulled a pillow tight to her, crying into it.  _ I love you. _  Her throat hurt from crying so much.  The ache in her chest refused to go away.  He broke his promise.  He promised and he lied.   _ I will always return. _  She wanted the Maker to stop making the sun rise.  It was unfair for the world to keep going on when he was gone from it.

***

Alistair sat in his office with his fingers tented.  He was looking down at some documents about land or something that he knew he needed to review but he couldn’t concentrate.  His thoughts were down the hall with his family, where he was currently not wanted.  He was grateful Cullen was here and that he seemed to be helping her.  But he wanted to be there.  He felt selfish thinking how he was hurting too.  He had lost a friend, he needed Ari right now too, but he knew he would only hurt her more by trying, so he sat in his office, hidden away with his broken heart.

There was a knock at the door and he looked up to see Fergus Cousland standing there.  “Do you have a moment, your majesty?” he asked.

Alistair nodded, “Please Fergus, when no one else is around, just Alistair is fine.  I’d prefer it.”

Fergus took a seat and nodded.  “Very well, Alistair.  I came to see how you are faring.  I know everyone is focused on Ari and Eleanor.  But I’m guessing like me, you’re missing him too.  We both lost a brother, and a friend.”

Alistair nodded, but was unable to speak due to the lump in his throat.  He took a sip of the whisky he’d been nursing and looked up at Fergus.

“You should talk to her.” Fergus spoke.  “You both need the other right now.”

“She made it clear she doesn’t want to.” Alistair said, looking down at his glass.

“She doesn’t know what she wants right now.” Fergus reached across the desk and put his hand on Alistair’s.  “Trust me, Alistair.  I’ve been on the receiving end of her anger for years, Nate too.  Sometimes you have to just push past it despite what she’s saying.  Go and see her so you can both heal.”

Fergus then stood up, having said what he had apparently come to see.  He stopped at the doorway, and turned his head.  “I’m glad you were there for here.  Back then, when I was…. missing.  She picked a good man for a brother.  You’re family Alistair.  Go take care of our sister.” 

Alistair watched the man leave, looked down at his glass and stood up.

***

She sat in her chair again, still in Zevran’s shirt, her tears having stopped for now.  She heard the door open and assumed it would be him again.  She said nothing for a long time, just staring at the fire, but when Cullen didn’t come closer she looked up.

“Ari, I know you don’t want to see me.  I know, I just…. I just wanted to see you.  I’m sorry, I wish I knew what to say, what to do… I” Alistair stopped speaking as Ari had slammed into him, her arms wrapped around him and her head buried into his chest.  Once the shock wore off he wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer, and resting his cheek on the top of her head.

Alistair felt a tear run down his cheek, he could feel his shirt getting wet where she was clearly crying.  They stayed like that for a long time.  His legs grew tired, but he still stood there, it didn’t matter.  He just knew in that moment they would be ok.  Somehow they’d survive this, as family.  He picked her up, trying not to gasp at how small she was, and carried her over to the small couch, placing her next to him.

“I’m sorry Ali.  I’ve been so awful to you, I’m so sorry.” Ari sobbed as she leaned into him.  He wrapped his arm around her and held her close.

“It’s ok, sister.  We’ll get through this together.” He reassured her.

“I love you, Ali.” she sighed.

“I love you too, always and forever.” Alistair answered her.

“It just hurts so much.  I want it to stop hurting.  I feel like I don’t know how to breath,” she sobbed into his side.  He didn’t have any answers to give her except to hold her tighter.

*** 

Ari awoke and seeing as how dark it still was she assumed she had only been sleeping a few hours.  There was an arm around her waist and for a quick second she thought it was Zevran, that the last two weeks had been a horrible nightmare.  When she touched his hand though she realized it was too large to be his and reality sank back in with a thud.  She rolled over quietly looking at Cullen asleep.  Whatever he was dreaming of, she knew it wasn’t the Circle as his face seemed void of worry.  He looked younger, more at peace.  She wanted that kind of peace.

Ari reached out and touched his cheek, ran her fingers along his forehead.  He was still asleep but he smiled at her gentle touches.  She watched his face with awe.  She didn’t know how she would have gotten through this week without him.  Ari tilted her head up and kissed him.

Cullen’s arm tightened around her slightly as he returned the kiss.  He still hadn’t opened his eyes.  His hand moved into her hair as Ari deepened the kiss.  She liked the feel of him pressed against her.  She had missed feeling the strength of a man pulling her close, kissing her.  Cullen rolled so that he was on top of Ari.  She moaned quietly.  That sound caused his eyes to open.  As soon as they did, Cullen jumped back.

“Maker, Ari!” he cried out.  “I’m sorry.  I wasn’t awake, oh Maker!” he sat up swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

Ari sat up and put her arms around him.  “Cullen, please.” She tried pulling him closer.  “I just feel nothing. Empty.  I just want something else.  Please.” 

Cullen shook his head.  “No.  It won’t help, and you’ll just regret it later, as will I.”

Ari felt anger that he wouldn’t help.  She pushed him off the bed and he stumbled back.  “How would you know?  You have no idea what I need.  You said you’d help.”  She got off the bed and walked over to him.  She hit him in the chest with her fist.  Cullen said nothing, just let her pound her fists into his chest over and over.

When she seemed to tire out, he picked her up and put her to sit back on the bed, and then he sat next to her.

“I know Ari because I tried it.  There was someone…. in the Circle.  She died when the blood mages took over. Solona.” He looked over to the wall, she could tell he was remembering something.  “After everything, I tried to get over my anger, the hurt, by sleeping my way through just about every female Templar that came along.  It didn’t solve anything.  The pain was still there, all it got me was hurt looks and a reprimand from my Knight-Captain.”

He looked over to Ari.  “I want to help you.  But not like this, this won’t help.  I’d only be taking advantage of you, and in the end, I’d lose a friendship that means more to me than anything.” He took her hand and squeezed it.  “I’d rather have you pissed off at me now for a little while then hating me the rest of my life.”

Ari let out a sob and started crying again.  Cullen pulled her into his arms and rocked her.  “Please… don’t… hate… me” she sobbed.

“Never,” he whispered into her hair, holding her again until she fell back asleep.

*** 

A week had passed since that night.  Cullen had left a few days ago to return to Kirkwall with promises to be back as soon as things settled down enough that he could get leave.  Ari found that focusing on her daughter helped give her something to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and Eleanor had no shortage of hugs for her mother, which also helped.

At the moment Ari was standing along the fence, watching Eleanor getting her first lesson with her pony, Mara.  Fergus stood beside her.  “I remember the first time you were on a horse.  You were probably about 5, and you insisted you could do it.  You were such a pain then, wanting to do everything I did.” He chuckled, watching Ari. 

“I remember you and Nate laughing when I fell off into the mud puddle, that’s what I remember.” She smiled at him giving him a friendly elbow.  “How long before you have to get back?”

“I’m here as long as you need.” Fergus answered, leaning his head on hers.  “My advisors can run things without me for a little while, and they can reach me here for anything important.  Heck, most of them worked with father.  They probably know it all better than me anyway.”

As they watched Eleanor petting Mara, and holding out a sugar cube per the Quartermaster’s instruction a scout approached.  “Lady Arainai, Teyrn Cousland.  The King requests your presence in the Throne Room immediately.  He said it is urgent.”

*** 

Ari and Fergus entered the Throne Room through the front, where they came up behind the throne where the King was currently sitting.  Facing him on the lower floor were four guards, and between them a man in chains.  As soon as Ari’s eyes fell on him her hand tightened around Fergus’.  It was one of the Crows they had fought that horrible day.

The King looked over to them and nodded.  “Your Majesty,” Ari snarled. “Why is this man’s head still attached to his body?”

Alistair held up his hand to stay her and looked at the prisoner.  “Lady Arainai, trust me, justice will be served.  But first, repeat what you told me.” 

The prisoner said nothing, just glared at the two of them.  One of the guards bumped him, the prisoner growled and then looked up.  “Killing me will not change the contract.  Our orders are for the daughter of Zevran Arainai.  She is to be brought back to Antiva.  More will come in my place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I had this written as Nate, not Cullen that she'd throw herself at since they had a history and were once in love.
> 
> Then I thought about it some more, and my Nate is somewhat of a playboy -- which is why Fergus was so angry when he found them together. I realized Nate might not be as willing to push her away, and that could lead to other problems, where as Cullen is ever the knight. Always the gentleman, so I thought it fit better.
> 
> Hope you agree.


	50. Keeping her Safe

Everyone was gathered in the King’s meeting room.  The King and Ari on one side of the table.  Nathaniel, and Fergus were along another, opposite them were Eamon and Teagan.  They all watched Ari, waiting for her to lay out her plan.

“There’s two issues we need to tackle here.  The first is my daughter.  The second is that Grey Wardens have a shortened life span.  I won’t give away all our secrets, but part of our joining means an early death.  Zev...” she took a deep breath, Alistair squeezed her hand for support.  “because he was going to be here, we didn’t worry about it.  Now… things have changed, and I need to do something.”

“Whatever you need, Pup, you know we’ll help.” Fergus spoke, trying not to give away the shock at hearing of her mortality.

Ari sighed and looked to Alistair who nodded at her.  She had already spoken to him in private.  He knew of her plans.

“First, Eleanor.  The Guild Master hasn’t seen her since she was small, she has no idea what she looks like.  The only ones that did are now dead.  That makes it a little easier to hide her.  But as long as she’s near me, they’ll be able to figure it out.  To keep her safe, she needs to appear to be someone else.  Alistair needs an heir,” she looked to the King.  “He will announce next week that he is adopting an orphan girl.” She looked to her brother.  “Fergus, I’m sorry, I would have asked you, but I think the Crows would have seen right through that.”

Fergus nodded and patted her hand. “Of course, I trust you.”

“It can’t appear like in any way she and I have a relationship.  If we just name her Alistair’s but she continues to follow me around the Crows will see right through it.  This brings me to the second item.  There’s some evidence that there may be a cure for the taint that would kill me.  Nate and I found some promising information in several of the books the Grey Wardens had.” She nodded to Nathaniel.

“I need to leave to track down the information we found.  When I go, the Crows will assume Eleanor is with me, which will pull suspicion off the King’s announcement.”

“But what about you Ri?” Nathaniel asked.  “What will keep them from following you?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head.  “One of two things will happen, either they will find me and kill me, or they won’t and I find the cure.  It’ll be much easier for me to stay hidden alone.  They’ll be looking for a woman and child.”

“Are you sure about this?” Fergus asked her.

Ari nodded.  “Zev gave his life to keep her safe.  I’d be dishonoring that sacrifice if I didn’t do everything I could to make sure she stays that way.”

“Alistair, I can’t say I agree with this plan.  The girl is Antivan, from an outsider it will look…”, Eamon started to say, cut off by Ari.

“Of course you’re against it.  Anyone short of your own family you’d probably shoot down.  Do you think this is something I’m taking lightly _Arl_?” she glared at him, her fingers gripping the desk.  “Do you think just handing over my daughter, my only remaining link to Zevran, and just walking away is an easy decision?  Something I planned out? I know raising a child means very little to you, but it means the world to me.”

“My lady, I’m just thinking of how it will look for the King.  Then there’s the matter of how it will affect potential matches.” Eamon continued.

Alistair could tell this was going to quickly get out of hand.  He placed his hand on Ari’s and turned to Eamon.  “Eamon, I appreciate your guidance, but in this matter I have made my decision.”

“Alistair..” Eamon began to protest.

“You will remember, Arl Eamon, that you are my advisor, not my guardian any longer.  I am still your King, and I have made my decision.  You will honor that or you may step down, the choice is yours.  Either way I think it’s best if you leave us now as your presence is upsetting an already delicate matter.” Alistair reprimanded Eamon in what Ari could only explain as his ‘King’ voice.

“Your Highness,” Eamon bowed and scurried out.

“Teagan,” Alistair looked to the man. “Could you see to it that any paperwork needed to make this happen is done quickly?”

“Absolutely,” Teagan nodded. “Lady Arainai, Ari, we’ll do whatever we need to, you have my word.” He bowed as he took his leave.

Once they were both gone Alistair turned to Ari.  “Are you sure about this?  I know I was kidding years ago, but you could still be Queen, say the word and it’s done.  I will do everything I can to keep you both safe.”

“Ali, I know.  I wish it was that easy, but it wouldn’t really protect her.  Please, I know you can keep her safe, and I know you will be good to her.” She patted his hand and then turned to the other men.

“I also need something from you both.”

“Anything” the both said in unison.

“Please be there for her.  Make sure she doesn’t forget about me while I’m gone.  Be her family, help her, help Alistair.  Be the fun uncles, teach her the things Zev and I would have.  Please.”

“Oh course, Pup,” Fergus pulled her into a hug.  “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you both, you know that.”

Nathaniel came up behind and twirled her around so that she was now in his arms.  “You know I will.  I’ll make sure she knows all about what a pain her mother was when we were children.”

“Thank you Nate” she hugged him.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?  I could leave right now with you, just say the word.” He said to her quietly, his arms wrapped around her.

“Stay.  Take care of the Wardens and take care of my little girl for me.” She held him tighter.

“I love you, always and forever.  Anytime you need me, Ri, I’m there.” Nathaniel kissed the top of her head.

“Always and forever,” she whispered to him and ended their hug.

Ari took Alistair’s hand.   “You’ll go with me to talk with Eleanor?” Alistair nodded and they headed off to the girl’s room.

***

It seemed like all of Denerim was gathered in the courtyard to see the new Princess.  It had been decreed earlier in the week that the King had adopted a child from the Chantry orphanage.  Murmurs went around about how it just showed what a big heart he had.  Others wondered if perhaps this was a way around having to marry to get an heir.

No matter why they thought he was doing it, the crowd cheered as the King introduced the new Princess Ele Therin.  The little girl waved to the crowd and blew kisses.  “Awws” and “She’s adorable” could be heard throughout.

At the back of the crowd, Arianna lifted the hood of the cape over her head.  It was the same cape he had worn so many years ago as the King’s Spymaster.  She looked once more at the Royal family up high on the balcony.

“I will return to you, Princesa.  I promise.” She whispered, and then turned and walked through the crowd and out of Denerim.


	51. Epilogue

The Grey Warden sat in a back corner of the Rusted Nail tavern in Trevis.  She was pouring over some books and a map, the other patrons seeming to sense keeping their distance.  She looked at the note in her hand.  It was from Leliana, not really saying much of anything, mainly about shoes, how the King was, etc.  She had learned long ago not to be surprised that somehow Leliana always knew where to find her to send these notes.  She just hoped the Crows didn’t know her methods as well.

She started looking back down to the maps and book when the word “Kirkwall” coming from a nearby conversation caught her ear and she closed her eyes, straining to hear better.

“I heard it’s chaos there now.  The Knight Commander went insane.  Started cutting down mages left and right.  The Champion had to fight her.”

Ari tensed.  Was Cullen ok?  Should she pack up and head off that way?

“I heard the Knight-Captain had to take over.  I heard he’s trying to put order back.”

Ari’s shoulder’s relaxed.  That had to be Cullen, thank the Maker.

“What triggered it, I mean, did she just go insane?”

“You didn’t hear?  Some extremist blew up the Chantry there.  Killed the Grand Cleric and everything.  Oh what was his name….”

“Amers,  Arthur, Anderson..”

_ NO!  _  she thought

“Anders, that’s it, Anders”

Ari felt her delicate heart break again.  She gathered up her books and maps and put them in her sack.  She approached the bar and requested two bottles of wine.  Slinking to the room she had rented she closed the door, dropping her sack at the entry.  She opened the first bottle and took a large swig.  She tumbled to the chair by the fire.  She’d send Cullen a note tomorrow, letting him know she was grateful he was alive.  But that would have to wait.  She took another gulp of the wine and curled into the chair.  She felt the tears start to form, starting to fall down her face.  She just stared into the fire and let them, letting the wine dull her senses.  She didn’t want to feel anything more tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone that left Kudos and feedback. You have no idea how much that all meant to me. I started writing this thinking how I'd be happy if just one or two people read it and didn't think it would suck.
> 
> And then you all started to write me, and leave kudos, and you laughed when I tried to be funny, and growled when you were angry and cried when I ripped at your hearts. I still think you're all a little insane, but I love you all just the same.
> 
> Onto "Searching for the Cure" and "Kirkwall Love Story" <3


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